Yeah forreal. The day a Spicy McChicken becomes preferable to getting my slab slobbed is the day you fit my fat ass for a jazzy scooter and a lifetime of A1C injections.
The times I’ve eaten McDonald’s I was dead starving. Then I buy too much and it’s a sexual experience sitting in your car powering through a 20 piece and a Big Mac. Than I wanted to kill myself from the sodium and fat
depends on how hungry and starving you are... imagine the mcflurry with those chunky oreos and then that cold sprite after that meaty mcchicken bite 😭🥀✌️
Under the very specific circumstances of being hammered and hungry, with fries that are super hot and fresh, I'd put those first few bites up against any fine dining meal I've had.
Yeah I'd only eat mcdonalds if I was starving too. All other circumstances I'd sooner find a nearby forest and eat a squirrel directly from the tree. More nutrients
Yeah the actual examples given are really inconsistent. Sex is way better than mcdonalds, but herion and a 245000 cash balance is probably better than sex
That’s not why it kills libido though. Opioids raise prolactin which lowers testosterone and sex drive.
No drug is really powerful enough to make sex seem genuinely unappealing in comparison, and especially not opioids. Opioids aren’t as powerful as people seem to think. Most people don’t get that much euphoria and pleasure from them at first, and heroin is no different. It’s more or less identical to morphine.
They’re so addictive because you end up learning to love the escape they offer you, but they don’t give you an immediate, intense rush of overwhelming pleasure like meth or crack does
Taking shrooms and meditating in the woods. I was crawling with flies after I was done over an hour later, but holy shit I never felt so much bliss in my life.
Can't go wrong with a Dutch snackbar piss cheap burger though. Always good AND you get to talk to the guy at the counter who speaks a dialect you've never even heard of before.
Yeah for me nothing except heroin is better than sex but $245,000 would buy a lot of heroin. Having 245k in the bank would be more valuable than sex but it wouldn't feel better.
Yes. When I'm in my deathbed one day I won't be caring about money but about wholeheartedly good and true experience and no money can buy good meaningful sex
Trust me, even the best sex imaginable won't beat out trying heroin for the first time.
I mean heroin is truly evil stuff, but the first time you take it will be the best experience of the rest of your life - there's a reason people chase that high until they're literally dead.
I used to really enjoy a double cheeseburger and apple pie once in a blue moon. Then I went to a bad one — cold soggy saltless fries, squished burger with ketchup on one side, cheese unmelted and gherkins piled together, very little carbonated gas in the drink. Ruined it forever.
One of my situationships played with my hair often. She loved it, I loved it, it was the best. I grew it out so she would have more to play with lol. Wish it worked out.
But a good bit of self care can absolutely feel better than sex. I am a blue collar guy, and my buddies used to tease me about it, but every once in a while, ill do a "deep clean day" where I do everything to a high standard. Like I'll wash up really really good, go to my barber to get a nice clean shave and a deep clean for my hair and a good conditioning and a trim, maybe some skin care if im feeling particularly uppity. After cleaning up, you get dressed up and have some fun with buddies or your girlfriend and its wonderful, feel like a million bucks.
If I had to choose between sex and a really good dnd session, I'd pick the dnd session every time. Orgasms last a few seconds. The high from dnd lasts days.
Has this post been made by an asexual person or a virgin?
Apart from heroin, literally nothing feels as good as good sex. And even mediocre sex feels better than eating fast food or playing Minecraft, like WTF how is this even in the same league?
Some of these are definitely not better than sex and yall probably be having the most dogwater sex ever, but sleeping with both your pillows cold in a cozy bed and blanket while its still cold outside feels the best. Even better if you're tired after a long day
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When you really need to use the bathroom and you finally get that sweet, sweet release. Even better if it's your own porcelain throne.
Me reading this as a torpedo is fired from my ass cheeks
https://preview.redd.it/v5bj2sqn578g1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1f68c476aebbdfc2d928b63098370a13d3ab0099
U is for please unpost this
N is for Never cook again for the love of God
T is for Taco Bell
Tacos!
I hadn’t pooped in three days and my body was slowly feeling uncomfortably “full.”
Finally, I felt it… it was poop time.
I sat down, oh lord did I sit down and clasp my hands together in gentle urgent prayer.
I opened, but it wasn’t enough.
My eyes went wide with surprise as I realized that I was opening further and further towards I thought impossible.
A minute of near orgasmic release and “SPLOOSH!!!” A near foot long avocado thick slab came to rest at the bottom of the toilet throne.
And I was only half way done. Over the next ten minutes my body shot forth three FULL days of excrement in excruciating speed.
I take pride in that it took several flushes before my waste was gone.
Was this a copypasta? If not, it probably is now.
Oh mannn you haven't heard of the masterpiece that is The Infinite Poop
The post is saved alongside with the Lamp
The lamp is elite ball knowledge
Poop knife? Remember?
https://preview.redd.it/0vnamiqv578g1.jpeg?width=950&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8d316b8360903a8ccfe24ae50cb4ec09c5277b44
https://preview.redd.it/sexx3213ds8g1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=62f05b91ed13a8172894976dda4acd12e716976e
To some people, these two sensations are not mutually exclusive and often coincide with each other. Hard not to see the appeal tbh
Or when you shit so hard it tickles your prostate
This but after a clitoral orgasm preceded by 6 hours of edging.
Idk about you guys but finding diamond before iron sucks
I feel like there’s an ancient Chinese proverb in here somewhere. Or something
Never waste your diamonds on a hoe
Unless it has that silk touch
Sun Tzu's Art of Mining.
I can feel my minecraft phase just around the corner, creeping, waiting.
May I calmly redirect you to a Terraria/Modded Terraria phase?
Even worse. I at least usually beat the game during my Minecraft phase. My terraria phase consists of loading up on side quest weapons
Not McDonalds lol
If you don’t think McDonald’s feels better than normal sex, then you haven’t fucked a McDouble
insert that one mcchicken video
E: Found it. Very NSFW.
I'm not clicking that
I did
https://preview.redd.it/lwyznqka278g1.jpeg?width=576&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5e77e5b199f41d1d6fd19963bb553da381d196fb
Literally
Actually
Yup. That's a guy fucking a McChicken. Thank you?
r/foodporn
Bro doesn't even finish
I don’t want to live anymore
PTSD flashbacks
Any chance you can find it somewhere else, I'd rather die than make a twitter account
OP wants a McRib, not the rib of Adam
Nahh, I only fuck Big Mac.
Know your worth king 👑
Real kings fuck whoppers
Modern advertising? I mean a company just want the free exposure to get you to see it even if it is A) false and b) makes no sense?
r/brandnewsentence
If you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it.
I’m more of an apple pie guy
BAHAHAHAHAH instructions unclear, stuck dick in McDouble xDDD*
Wtf would i do with a McCumshot‽
Yeah forreal. The day a Spicy McChicken becomes preferable to getting my slab slobbed is the day you fit my fat ass for a jazzy scooter and a lifetime of A1C injections.
A true poet
McDonald’s feels more like a dirty shameful wank. Exciting while you’re doing it, but you just feel bad after the fact.
Nah their fries are the best its an A experience overall.
Pussy is still better tho but Mcdonalds aint bad specially with coupons
You can get good fries anywhere tho mcdonalds ain't special. I can go to my local snackbar and get better fries even.
The times I’ve eaten McDonald’s I was dead starving. Then I buy too much and it’s a sexual experience sitting in your car powering through a 20 piece and a Big Mac. Than I wanted to kill myself from the sodium and fat
Yeah McDonald’s is trash tbh
depends on how hungry and starving you are... imagine the mcflurry with those chunky oreos and then that cold sprite after that meaty mcchicken bite 😭🥀✌️
I feel like you guys have never had good sex
For me it's a fresh double cheeseburger when I'm starving 🤤🤤
Under the very specific circumstances of being hammered and hungry, with fries that are super hot and fresh, I'd put those first few bites up against any fine dining meal I've had.
chicken salsa is a godly meal when youre higkey starving
Yeah I'd only eat mcdonalds if I was starving too. All other circumstances I'd sooner find a nearby forest and eat a squirrel directly from the tree. More nutrients
McDonald’s breakfast when you’re hungover is some next level shit.
I mean it’s fine but nothing compared to a real breakfast
It's pure chemicals designed to taste good and addictive, so yes
it’s chemicals designed to taste good, not as good as food that tastes good at least in my experience
also pure chemicals lmao
The chemical being fat
Sex also releases chemicals in your brain and I think more potently IMO.
Pretty sure it's food. Comprised of Macro-nutrients and therefore calories. Fat is tasty .
When it's 3am and you are coming home from the club it's a godsend, wouldnt go there any other time tho
Having someone cancel plans for something you really didn't want to do.
yeah especially if it's some boring old guy from church you have nothing in common with
r/oddlyspecific
you must be having some garbage sex
or op is a teenager reposting shit from dankmemes
That would just prove the previous statement even more.
Not saying you're wrong but if they made a whole island around that concept, it's probably not that bad...
Remember that one Reddit post about that guy who thought he had a scat fetish until a girl actually shit on him?
I wonder how many pedophiles got to Epstein's island and thought "man this sucks, kids aren't sexy at all like I imagined"
Anime fans when they discover real life children
Old men fucking teens isn't quite the same as teens fucking teens.
Yeah I mean if you think finding diamonds in Minecraft is better than sex I question whether you’re old enough to even know what sex is
its a joke tho
I wish I hadn’t decided to check their profile to figure that out
Yeah the actual examples given are really inconsistent. Sex is way better than mcdonalds, but herion and a 245000 cash balance is probably better than sex
Sex is better than mcdicks, can confirm.
OP posted once about never having sex before. So idk what he's posting about
some people are asexual.
As an asexual I can say with ease that mcdonalds is not nearly as good as sex. It's not even as good as a hug.
I don't know mate sex can be pretty damn good
Mate sex as opposed to sex sex? Or do you mean sex with your mates/the homies?
When your mates have the sex
i’m gonna mate my sexes
Dunno what type of sex you people are having but verything except the drugs and money are not better than sex.
And when you accomplish something that is incredibly important to you
That too
Where is garlic bread? Sex is great and all, but have you ever had garlic bread?
Ace spotted?
The 1st time you shoot heroin is better than sex.
I mean, uh, so I hear and stuff
Doing heroin often will kill any sexual urges you might’ve had before, it’s genuinely a lot better than sex or anything else really.
That’s not why it kills libido though. Opioids raise prolactin which lowers testosterone and sex drive.
No drug is really powerful enough to make sex seem genuinely unappealing in comparison, and especially not opioids. Opioids aren’t as powerful as people seem to think. Most people don’t get that much euphoria and pleasure from them at first, and heroin is no different. It’s more or less identical to morphine.
They’re so addictive because you end up learning to love the escape they offer you, but they don’t give you an immediate, intense rush of overwhelming pleasure like meth or crack does
When that shit you've been holding all day finally comes out
Putting eczema under hot water. It feels like ascending into heaven, literally.
mine responds to water by feeling like a chemical burn💀💀
Same with poison ivy
Mine cracks and bleeds into tiny cuts and there's like 20 of them every winter. They hate warm water 💀.
Pure bliss…😌🙃
Taking shrooms and meditating in the woods. I was crawling with flies after I was done over an hour later, but holy shit I never felt so much bliss in my life.
why were flies attracted to you?
Petting cats.
Also, that’s Pocket Edition. The nostalgia…
With $245,000.00 you can get pretty good sex and still have money left, so by predicative logic it's objectively better than sex.
when it comes to piss cheap borger wendys is better
Can't go wrong with a Dutch snackbar piss cheap burger though. Always good AND you get to talk to the guy at the counter who speaks a dialect you've never even heard of before.
As someone with mild eczema in his ear canals, I can agree with the qtip.
Use a toothpick carefully and you will the birth of the infinity stones!
Having a nice cold glass of milk with sweet food like pancakes.
Finally sitting down after standing and walking all day.
Taking off a pair of itchy jeans.
Getting into a freshly made clean bed with a thick blanket after having a shower.
Getting a haircut also is so comforting
Especially with a razor blade finish
The thing I miss most after growing long hair is when the barber scrapes the back of my neck with a razor
That’s what I was referring to lol
yess that feels so good for some reason
I tend to agree. But really good, really meaningful sex still beats all of those by a mile.
worth more than $245,000?
Think of all the horse you could get with $245k
Yeah for me nothing except heroin is better than sex but $245,000 would buy a lot of heroin. Having 245k in the bank would be more valuable than sex but it wouldn't feel better.
Yes. When I'm in my deathbed one day I won't be caring about money but about wholeheartedly good and true experience and no money can buy good meaningful sex
💀 lmao
You've never done Fenty, boiiiii
Trust me, even the best sex imaginable won't beat out trying heroin for the first time.
I mean heroin is truly evil stuff, but the first time you take it will be the best experience of the rest of your life - there's a reason people chase that high until they're literally dead.
McDonald’s? If feeling disgusted and bloated is better than sex, then yes.
Right, lol, I don’t care how hungry I am, I’m still not eating that garbage.
I used to really enjoy a double cheeseburger and apple pie once in a blue moon. Then I went to a bad one — cold soggy saltless fries, squished burger with ketchup on one side, cheese unmelted and gherkins piled together, very little carbonated gas in the drink. Ruined it forever.
A nice nap during the day when it’s raining and cuddled under a blanket. Maybe I smoke a little before 😉. Makes me really sleepy
Having someone hold you and love you for who you are.
Okay this ain't the Lifetime channel
Also walking in a hot town city in southern Europe for 1-2 hours( or more) during summer. Then finally going to the beach and swimming in the ocean.
And then eating steak for dinner.
Dude, I swear I could be robbed blind if I'm getting headscratches. I wouldn't even care.
McDonalds and Minecraft and Q-tips are better than sex? All this tells me is that heroin is not as good as people say it is.
Can't agree with this, because I'm a virgin.
One of my situationships played with my hair often. She loved it, I loved it, it was the best. I grew it out so she would have more to play with lol. Wish it worked out.
But a good bit of self care can absolutely feel better than sex. I am a blue collar guy, and my buddies used to tease me about it, but every once in a while, ill do a "deep clean day" where I do everything to a high standard. Like I'll wash up really really good, go to my barber to get a nice clean shave and a deep clean for my hair and a good conditioning and a trim, maybe some skin care if im feeling particularly uppity. After cleaning up, you get dressed up and have some fun with buddies or your girlfriend and its wonderful, feel like a million bucks.
Not sure about the rest of these but the hiking one is so real
I cannot suggest hiking to people enough, some of the most memorable and fun experiences I've ever had
When the migraine you had for hours/days is nearing the end.
I’m sure many people won’t try this but have you ever hit a true runners high. My god I thought I was going to bust
McDonald's I still get breakfast from but yall are crazy if you think it's that good. Even their coke and sprite don't hit the same anymore
Ear cleaning is supposed to feel better than anything?
Also, leftover rice. Especially fried and/or brown rice.
Sex is totally overrated
Mcdonalds? I can't imagine how bad the sex is you're getting.
If I had to choose between sex and a really good dnd session, I'd pick the dnd session every time. Orgasms last a few seconds. The high from dnd lasts days.
Doing cocaine and shooting up heroin and drinking a milk jug full of beer from a straw while fondlin ya balls and jorkin it to fart porn 😎😎😎
If I had $245,000, I would buy so much sex.
Quite
Sneezing
pls someone play with my hair!!
Using a peanut butter jar doesn’t count as sex my guy. Go on a date.
M? Id rather be hungry
245k in this economy last a year, medical bills and debt? 6 months
Drinking cold water in the middle of the night or after a long day of not drinking water.
McDonald’s tho?
OP has never noticed all the men smiling around his mom
Whats wrong with Kyle chucking shots Giannis smh /s
Where is draining the snake and getting a back massage?
Ah, yes... Coronación de gloria everywhere.
Anyone women who want to have sex, I'll buy you a bunch of McDonald's and let you use my beebird earwax removal endoscope.
Has this post been made by an asexual person or a virgin?
Apart from heroin, literally nothing feels as good as good sex. And even mediocre sex feels better than eating fast food or playing Minecraft, like WTF how is this even in the same league?
Definitely not McDonald's 😂
McDonald's is disgusting.
KFC for the win 👍
This is so 5 years ago
McDonalds is Better than sex?? that is so sad...
Spooning drugs?
Spoons are common paraphernalia with injectable narcotics. When you gear heroin, you literally cook it in a spoon.
Some of these are definitely not better than sex and yall probably be having the most dogwater sex ever, but sleeping with both your pillows cold in a cozy bed and blanket while its still cold outside feels the best. Even better if you're tired after a long day
Aside from the drugs and money, uhhh… no. I’d legitimately take some good sex any day, any time, over Minecraft or some McDonalds… sorry @Minecraft.
mcdonalds fucking sucks
I don’t like McDonald’s at all anymore. Used to love it but it all tastes like salty cardboard to me.
I think you all are just having really bad sex
Downvote for mcdonalds that shit is DISGUSTING🥀🥀
is this a McDonald's ad or what
McDonald's better than sex??????
You forgot to add Lando Norris finally winning the championship 🥲
it's gonna take a whole lot more than 245k
enough to last a lifetime and a small start for the next generation to feel better than sex
McDonald’s 😹😹😹😹✌️✌️ there is no way you are under 120 kgs
McDonald's? Really? Is this an American specific post or how in the hell is one of the shittiest forms of food here?
other than the cash balance one, I'll have to disagree
Forget about McD and the Drugs, then we have a Deal
Eating McDonalds naked while you smoke Chinese research chems and get your butt ate by a thai ladyboy feels better than sex
I'll only agree with the cash. Everything else is worse than sex. Are u fucking kidding me? 😐
Bro is missing a couple zeros in that cash balance for it to be better than sex