Beloved walrus penis stolen from N.J. cheesesteak eatery.
  • 49 points ButteredNun

    It was staff. They’re known for taking tips.

    parent
    3 points DontMakeMeCount

    It certainly wasn’t the cooks though. They’re known for taking whisks.

    parent root
  • 20 points ghostsintherafters

    r/BrandNewSentence

    parent
  • 8 points lube_thighwalker

    Seeing Tusk in theaters was the best movie experience I ever had.

    parent
  • 9 points sex

    What monster goes around stealing walrus dick?

    parent
    9 points Neuraxis

    How am I supposed to enjoy my cheesesteak without a massive walrus dick to look at?

    parent root
    3 points sex

    Whenever I have a cheesesteak that demands extra joy, I just bust out the Sears & Walruscock Catalogue.

    Didn't you get the latest holiday edition in November?

    parent root
  • 6 points chosonhawk

    r/offbeat?

    or

    r/beatoff?

    parent
  • 3 points Mykilo_Sosa

    Are we talking oosik or what ??

    parent
  • 3 points fullonfacepalmist

    “Donkey’s Place hasn’t attempted to contact the man, who used a credit card to pay for his meal.”

    That gonna be a hard charge to explain.

    parent
  • 3 points PlaceboJacksonMusic

    This seems like a crafted headline that will be top hit on search just to distract from some real event

    parent
  • 3 points The_Jitterati

    Especially beloved by the walrus.

    parent
  • 1 points rpickens6661

    I needed a real American story. I started blubbering. A true whale of a tale.

    parent
  • 1 points theghostofourprivacy

    Walrus penis, my beloved.

    parent
  • 2 points notapunk

    All the best restaurants have a nice animal penis on display. My local Outback has a Koala dong behind the bar.

    parent
  • 1 points AlfhildsShieldmaiden

    Hilarious headline. That penis, so beloved. 🥺

    parent
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