Maybe Maybe Maybe
  • 3645 points Great-Gas-6631

    A sentence never said before.

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    590 points NeinThanku

    r/brandnewsentence

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    139 points Eaglearse

    Burnt balls? Welcome to Finland and sauna.

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    55 points Gorilla_Krispies

    Surely it’s been said at least dozens of times throughout history

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    6 points CK1ing

    That's another 20

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    -186 points ImposterBk

    And the video would have been better without the stupid caption spoiling the entire thing. All it needed was "Bali. Monkey stole my coffee..."

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    33 points aerkith

    Funny that I saw this video yesterday and it didn’t have the caption on it.

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  • 1903 points WorldOfTech

    Well, if you hadn't brought that coffee his balls would be fine, so you are to blame.

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    417 points Public_Television430

    Reminds me of America ...

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    353 points asd_slasher

    Monkey should sue, thats the true US

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    121 points Foxfox105

    Reminder that that lawsuit was fair and McDonald's was in the wrong

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    26 points skibum888

    The propaganda against frivolous lawsuits runs too deep now. The corpos won this one already

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    0 points [deleted]

    [deleted]

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    2 points skibum888

    Isn't that just about using unreasonable force or setting traps?

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    0 points [deleted]

    [deleted]

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    1 points SchnozSchnizzle

    Do you have a case that sets that precedent or are you just saying that?

    Because though it can be an understandable reaction to an intrusion, sometimes immediate execution isn't reasonable.

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    1 points skibum888

    I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be liable for those examples. They're not setting traps or using unreasonable force. Do you have an example of that happening

    I didn't say deadly force, I said unreasonable. Reasonable force is set by local laws, meaning that deadly force is often reasonable. I don't think that someone getting sued for causing extreme unnecessary injury to a common burgler is frivolous. I think that someone using deadly force against life threatening situations is justified.

    Either way this conversation started as frivolous lawsuits against cooperations, not whatever stand you ground laws debate this has become. Obviously stand your ground is contentious topic

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    3 points alt123613

    You put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on?!

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    36 points TSAxrayMachine

    shame on oop for letting the monkey steal his hot coffee. shouldve atleast cooled it down for him tsk tsk

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    3 points WorldOfTech

    Isn't it stranger that the coffee was so hot? I mean, it's not like he got the coffee across the street from that monkey.....

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    -205 points Fun_Ad_8277

    Remind me of the woman who sewed McDonald’s because her coffee was too hot. Perhaps we’re not am that different…

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    121 points Bubster101

    The lawsuit was fair because the McDonald's had made their coffee hotter than the safe temperature. She suffered burns from it. Would've only stung if it was hot coffee. But it was boiling.

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    128 points Alternative_Pause_98

    Her genitalia was mutilated to the point she couldn't pee and only initially sued for her hospital bills. There's a difference between hot coffee and boiling hot coffee and there is no world where anybody would want boiling hot coffee.

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    90 points Lucky-Firefighter456

    This is the part everyone overlooks when they make fun of this poor woman. It was so hot her skin literally melted and fused her labia together. She had to undergo several surgeries to correct the damage, and she was elderly, 79 years old. So recovery was long and rough for her.

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    47 points ChipsTheKiwi

    McDonald's spent very good money to PR companies to disseminate a version of the story that portrays her as greedy and/or stupid

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    66 points [deleted]

    THAT AAAAAND her clothes melted into her skin as well. I fucking hate it when people bring this shit up and tell it as if she was “just suing for hot coffee” when it was so much worse AND they also used the mistelling of her case to say too many people are filing “frivolous” lawsuits and she was NOT one of them.

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    41 points ChipsTheKiwi

    McDonald's was serving their coffee boiling hot and she requested that McDonald's pay for her medical bills (because she suffered severe burns), only suing because they refused.

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    44 points KratosSimp

    Man it’s actually insane how well McDonald’s was able to convince the American populous that the lady was in the wrong and not them

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    20 points SeaPotatoSalad

    Piss off

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    -36 points Fun_Ad_8277

    Please help me understand your reply. Why are you angry?

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    11 points chickengelato

    Read the other replies to your comment higher up.

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    10 points JacktheWrap

    Another guy who's just repeating something he heard somewhere without looking into it at all, like a parrot.

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    -2 points Fun_Ad_8277

    Another insecure person with a disrespectful comment.

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  • 963 points FARTfayc3

    They’re just intelligent, strong animals. I have, what I think is, a healthy fear of them. I do not want to be around loose monkeys. I would not approach them and I’d prefer they respected me the same.

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    363 points stingraycharles

    I live in a country in South East Asia. Monkeys can be pretty vicious and people (tourists mostly) genuinely underestimate the health risks of getting bitten by a monkey. There’s a group of them that often hangs around in my garden often and I like to believe we have a mutual understanding of letting each other mind our own business.

    Real life monkeys are nothing like they are in the movies.

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    202 points redpotetoe

    Some dude I know ended up shooting a loose monkey in the countryside. Basically this monkey would steal chicken, dude's food and attempted to kill many puppies. He even threw rocks at this dude's family when they went home from church. Dude got fed up and ended up hunting the monkey and killed it in front of his family. He said he would still see the dead monkey's wife and kids from time to time but they would run away when they see humans.

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    91 points jarstripe

    the dead monkey’s wife and kids 😂

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    20 points somajones

    I too choose...wait, no, no I don't.

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    5 points yvl_oxyluver

    Anecdotes like these are why I love reddit 

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    1 points Soft_Concept_4802

    [ Removed by Reddit ]

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    60 points the-last-aiel

    They're dicks too, they pee on people for kicks

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    42 points SilentAgent

    Personally I find them terrifying! They seem vicious and quick to anger. Plus those sharp teeth are bad news.

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    1 points Prestigious_Risk7610

    Are you intelligent and strong?

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  • 244 points friendfromjersey

    If I had a dollar for every time I’ve burned my balls with coffee…

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    75 points exprezso

    All those dollars cant cure your burnt, shrivelled balls 

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    19 points friendfromjersey

    Sadly, you’re right…they can’t.

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    12 points Necessary-Living-592

    Buy new ones

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    2 points Independent_Bit7364

    temu?

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    1 points bjornum

    By now its a ritual at work.

    Grab a mug of hot coffee, balls comes free and accidental splash.

    Coworkers love they /s

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  • 243 points [deleted]

    [removed]

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    16 points Economy_Vegetable_24

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  • 772 points FARTfayc3

    Fuck places with monkeys that are the beggars. I do not want to be around monkeys. Tourists think it’s cute. I would visit a place with monkeys but I would never want anything to do with them. I’m not taking a picture, and I’m not holding food out for them. Fuck monkeys. Hard pass. Fuck that monkey’s balls. That monkey was looking for a fight from the jump. That monkey can eat shit. But not an Apple or a cup of coffee out of my hands.

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    435 points Crystal_Voiden

    Damn. Some really strong anti-monkey sentiment

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    195 points DKJagz

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    36 points Just_Pete401

    Your name is kakarot

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    8 points jad103

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    59 points FARTfayc3

    lol! I just find wild animals dangerous. Outside of a bird feeder, I’m not fucking with them. It’s not just monkeys. I don’t feed squirrels and raccoons can also get fucked. I want them to thrive, I just want to be left alone by them. Stay out of my house and I’ll stay out of your nest.

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    8 points Great-TeacherOnizuka

    You shouln‘t fuck any animals. That’s sodomy, which is illegal.

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    7 points Fafnir13

    The word you’re looking for is bestiality.  

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    1 points Great-TeacherOnizuka

    Also, yes

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    37 points YT_Sharkyevno

    Fartfayc got tired of all that monkey business

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    38 points Lua-Ma

    You sure wanna fuck them monkeys a lot

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    56 points FARTfayc3

    God made them sexy. That’s not my fault.

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    22 points margenreich

    Exactly. I was in a Thai national park once and these fucking monkeys stole a girls belongings from her scooter compartment. I chased after him and fortunately he let go of the bag with her phone, camera and ID but the stare he gave me afterwards was chilling….

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    45 points TurtleToast2

    You are very passionate about monkeys. That kind of passion usually comes with a story. Show us on the Snoo where they monkey hurt you.

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    6 points FigureAcrobatic7194

    Found Freizas burner account

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    23 points The_Merciless_Potato

    Real, FUCK those little shits

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    19 points fluung

    Okay Frieza, calm down now

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    27 points FARTfayc3

    I didn’t understand the reference but I looked it up and I’m not sure I agree. I’m not saying wipe the monkeys out. I’m just saying, “no thanks,” to being around them. Long live the monkeys and may they live a long distance from me.

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    8 points kikosoul66

    The fact that you'd bother to look up a reference and read deeply enough to know that Frieza wants to eradicate the 'monkeys' just to respond to some comment is more moving to me than your passion about monkeys.

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    0 points [deleted]

    [deleted]

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    2 points FARTfayc3

    I do need something snappy for my epitaph

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    0 points sleepydon

    You remind me of this show.

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    -27 points lousy-site-3456

    That's a novel way of victim blaming... 

    I mean, yeah, some monkeys are close enough to humans to be natural aholes too but our behaviour adds a lot them becoming thieves. 

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    6 points nhansieu1

    we have an asshole sympathizer here

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    3 points Belfengraeme

    Get a load of this guy

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    1 points Disastrous_Gas8390

    Lol suck shit

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  • 66 points Iceologer_gang

    Wha- this brown water is hot!! You tried to poison me!!!!!

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  • 18 points 42random42

    I hated that monkey park in Bali. The monkeys are nasty they are basically dirty rats

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    2 points Venom933

    ..so you get flea or parasites when they sit on your shoulder 🥲

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    1 points ChineseNippeFlick

    The trick is that you have to start flinging your shit first to assert dominance.

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  • 34 points x_xiv

    this is typical people at walmart

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  • 75 points PrimeDocHoliday

    0 fucking situational/environmental awareness. Reminded me of that lady that was trying to retrieve something from a bull at the beach

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    -22 points Mediocre-Cicada-3911

    Redditors trying to not be miserable on a post.

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  • 19 points YunJingyi

    You should have gotten him an iced coffee.

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  • 15 points Puckwallow

    You ball burning sonuvabitch

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  • 4 points Objective-Success569

    Obviously balls are more important than a hot coffee

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  • 9 points tdkimber

    LMFAO

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  • 3 points Few-Past6073

    i wonder what was going through that monkeys mind when his balls got scorched

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    3 points grenionyoutube

    “wtf why would you spill this stuff on me you asshole”

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  • 3 points Brod178

    The most listless voice cadence of all time from a baboon attack.

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  • 7 points zpinnis

    Saw this on Threads and soo many comments just said 'Men lol'. Threads is just new twitter, innit?

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  • 2 points LordofShadows333

    I'm so sorry but she sounds like Whiteys sister in 8 crazy nights

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  • 2 points Western-Direction395

    Lmao

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  • 2 points Poppyismtname

    Men 😒

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  • 2 points cifexxx

    Coffee Balls 😂😂

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  • 3 points Blind_optomism

    How stoned IS that woman!?

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  • 5 points ThisThingIsStuck

    She wanted a look at them smh...worse than er nurses

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  • 1 points [deleted]

    [deleted]

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  • 1 points betterandhappier_

    Dude wtf

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  • 1 points Think-again23

    Your average politician

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  • 1 points Gold-Satisfaction614

    Would punching a monkey in the balls have the same crippling effect it has on humans?

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  • 1 points 305tilidiiee

    If a monkey made that terrifying face at me I’d be running away

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  • 1 points Icy_Recover2094

    lol

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  • 0 points mmm-submission-bot

    The following submission statement was provided by u/Chance_Acadia_8148:


    A monkey stole her hot coffee then spilled in his ball then blame the girl and maybe …


    Does this explain the post? If not, please report and a moderator will review.

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

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  • -3 points Wolkenkuckuck

    Republican monkey.

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  • -8 points [deleted]

    [deleted]

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    14 points lgnc

    can you please stop saying stuff is AI without proof?

    unless PROVEN otherwise, you have to assume it's real by logic alone

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    9 points dalaiis

    The only thing completely unrealistic is the way the camera operator reacts to being attacked by a monkey, but maybe thats just humans being humans.

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    -2 points GonzoBalls69

    Yeah logic is when you assume everything you see and hear is true. That’s just logic. I see a video of a golden retriever puppy in a church praying to Jesus? Until PROVEN otherwise, I have to assume it’s real by logic alone. Speculating makes you weak.

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    -5 points [deleted]

    [deleted]

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    5 points T-MoneyAllDey

    Would it steam in Bali if it's humid? I honestly don't know.

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    1 points Rude_Map_4278

    Du bist mit Ki gemacht!

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    1 points [deleted]

    [deleted]

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    3 points Rude_Map_4278

    Haaa erwischt !

    genau das hätte jeder andere ki bot jetzt auch geschrieben!

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    -13 points TheBunny789

    Yeah the op's description looks like Ai garbage

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    4 points Chance_Acadia_8148

    I type it myself, but it won’t matter to you ain’t it?

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  • -38 points ozarkfireworks

    If that was USA and it was a McDonald’s cup that would be one rich monkey. The lady that got away with suing and collecting had the exact mentality.

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    45 points Omn1

    Do you mean the 200 degree coffee- significantly above industry standards- that have her third degree burns and required reconstructive surgery?

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    -39 points ozarkfireworks

    You mean the boiling point of water is 212 degrees and Literally have to boil the water to make coffee. Amazing how many people aren’t responsible for their own actions.

    Go sue someone.

    Similar to the monkey going after the guy he stole the coffee from. Blame anyone but yourself. 🤦‍♂️

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    23 points CharlieParkour

    You mean the lady who received severe burns, had a jury award a ridiculously high judgement she didn't ask for that was later lowered on appeal, then was vilified by the media?

    Also, the optimal temperature for making coffee is around 195⁰. Boiling water bad for the flavor. And certainly terrible if you're selling it at a drive-thru.

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    -13 points ozarkfireworks

    I can name just about any coffee maker that boils water. Including kurig, Bun, any percolator, etc etc

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    14 points Alternative_Pause_98

    the average keurig brews coffee at around 192 deg F. in most restaurants coffee is brewed and then placed into a tank that you can store the coffee. if the tank is temperature controllable then yeah setting that to 212 deg f is wild. if during the brewing process the wawter itself hit 212 deg then that makes sense because itll likely cool down qyucjky as it hits the coffee ground to probably around 192 deg f. there was no reason for the finished product to be 212 deg unless the coffee itself was kept that way.

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    3 points CharlieParkour

    My moccamaster boils the water, then it travels through the pipes and hits the coffee at 195⁰. Then it cools down further as it goes through the grounds and into the pot.

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    -2 points ozarkfireworks

    I am sure it wasn’t 200 at time of burn. They can make a guess at the temperature but impossible to know. What would be the difference 190-200 is going to be close.

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    13 points GonzoBalls69

    You are so determined to have the most wrong take of an event from 20 years ago lmao chill

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    3 points LetMeOverThinkThat

    Mfer must be Ronald himself.

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  • -4 points TheOrangeSloth

    Stop reposting this one

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    5 points kikosoul66

    Never seen it.

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  • -53 points JONYLOCO

    The infamous McDonald's lawsuit

    A woman burned her lap with "hot" coffee....sued McDonald's

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    48 points Omn1

    I mean, it was also genuinely obscenely hot and gave her such bad burns that the woman required reconstructive surgery.

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    -14 points JONYLOCO

    I agree

    Video reminded me of it

    Was only thing I was saying.....

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    -37 points ozarkfireworks

    Reddit is famous for defending the actions of the stupid. I said the same thing as you just before you did lol we will get downvoted. Par for the course.

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    32 points Cantusemynme

    If you had bothered reading the reply posted before yours, you would know that the McD's coffee incident wasn't a stupid customer. McD's went out of their way to make the public think she was stupid, and even though McD's was 100% proven to be the bad guys, you still want to defend them.

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    -18 points JONYLOCO

    I said nothing about stupid customer...or any of the nonsense you just posted

    This video just reminded me of the McDonald's lawsuit

    That was it.....!

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    11 points Cantusemynme

    Not sure what you're going on about since I didn't reply to you. I replied to the person who said, "defending the actions of the stupid."

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    -20 points ozarkfireworks

    🤦‍♂️ corporations are always the bad guy. No matter what. I don’t agree sorry.

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    20 points Cantusemynme

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    -17 points ozarkfireworks

    Seriously. So if someone disagrees with your opinion? You are very good at proving my point here.

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    18 points Cantusemynme

    It's not my opinion. McD's was found to be 100% at fault. The coffee was at a temp that exceeded what any reasonable person would assume. They then, knowing that they fucked up, started pushing the narrative that the lady was an idiot and just looking for a cash grab, when originally all she asked for was her medical bills to be covered. But do go on about how the corporations need defending from redditors calling them out.

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    -7 points ozarkfireworks

    Ironically there are many in the US that disagree with the opinion of those 12. All I know is there is a common dislike for corporations. They are guilty by association.

    Also when I make coffee out of a bunn it is absolutely over 195 degrees. I am also more intelligent than that, to put ANY hot beverage in a flexible cup between my frigging legs!

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    15 points Cantusemynme

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    -4 points JONYLOCO

    Reddit is known for reading into people's minds

    I was only saying this video reminded me of the McDonald's lawsuit

    Nothing more...nothing about the customer being stupid or assigning fault

    I remembered having to read and take a side in that lawsuit when I was taking a business law class in college

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    5 points ProductAny2629

    then why did you put hot in quotation marks in your first comment? genuinely asking. you said "hot" coffee

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  • -48 points ottofrosch

    I can't think of anything funny rn, but I'll steal being the first comment from someone who can.

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    23 points SeaPotatoSalad

    Who burned your balls?

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