Avian rizz
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  • 1 points qualityvote2

    u/Limp_Squash_4116, there weren't enough votes to determine the quality of your post...

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  • 304 points PointFirm6919

    Of course, they're gonna know what intercourse is by the time they hit fourth grade they've got the Discovery Channel, don't they?

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    123 points CommunistOrgy

    You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals...

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    49 points NefariousnessNo2062

    Well some of us are cannibals...

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    38 points DARKSIED125790

    who cut other people open like cantaloupes

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    21 points ItsImNotAnonymous

    But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes

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    17 points Great-Pay-3429

    Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope

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    17 points TrojanVP

    But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote

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    13 points bzzzzzt_69

    Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes!!!

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    10 points DARKSIED125790

    I'm slim shady, yes I'm the real shady. All you other slim shadys are just imitating

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    9 points ItsImNotAnonymous

    So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up.

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  • 143 points Zagmut

    Shit, next he's going to want to learn to dance! Hide your daughters, y'all

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    83 points KingTiger76mm

    The hair, dance combo with a bright green shirt, bright blue jacket, bright yellow pants and bright red shoes and he’ll be UNSTOPPABLE

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    32 points Unicycleterrorist

    He's going to single-handedly revive disco

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    11 points imahuman3445

    Ah heck ladies! He's jumping from side to side while holding his arms out at a wide angle! Hide your daughters

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    22 points superbusyrn

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  • 61 points gym__addict

    Well birds got the biggest rizz in the whole animal kingdom

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  • 54 points Luna_thesommer

    Imagine getting rejected because a 6yo did a better mating dance

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  • 34 points Some-Refrigerator453

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  • 19 points Zealousideal_Leg213

    Animal Planet could probably more accurately be called Fucking Animal Planet. 

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    6 points ItsImNotAnonymous

    F.A.P

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  • 14 points Lev_Kovacs

    To be fair, some of them birds do have mad game

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  • 7 points EvenSpoonier

    Parents, talk to your kids about Lemme Smash. Or somebody else will.

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  • 5 points Rarazan

    lmao, be happy it's not capuchin bs, or he would piss and spread it all over them females

    that would totally harsh the vibes around him

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  • 3 points Pleasant-Theory-7594

    this is actually hilarious

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  • 7 points m1r4nd4k

    That never happened.

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    5 points CompactAvocado

    made up shit on social media?

    impossible.

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    7 points HappyKrud

    r/nothingeverhappens

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    2 points TheRoyalSniper

    Who gives a shit, it's way more fun to pretend it did.

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  • 2 points MaxInIrving

    🎶Birds do it! Bees do it! Even educated fleas do it.....🎶

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  • 2 points justsomedude322

    I didn't know where else to bring this up, but I just realized that rizz is probably derived from charisma or charizzma as the kids spell it.

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  • 2 points XROOR

    When my Muscovy drakes get randy during breeding season, a ridge of feathers on their head looks like an 60yr old guy with way too dark hair dye!

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  • 2 points sultryGhost

    Genuine question tho. What on Earth do you even do if your kid got exposed to some alpha male shit?

    A 6 yo is probably fine but it would be too late if it was a 16 yo right?

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    10 points Shinonomenanorulez

    If 16 were too late i'd be 6 feet under not with a stable j*b

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    13 points Ok-Week-2293

    How is 16 “too late”? Tons of adults change their minds about things after highschool. 

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    9 points Unicycleterrorist

    16 year olds can change quite easily, people change a lot, and sometimes on a whim, between like 12-20.

    As for what to do...I mean if there was a conclusive answer I don't think it'd be as big a problem as it is but...my first impulse would be to make sure they get out and encounter some of "the females" in the "wild" so they get a more realistic view of it and realize people are just people.

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    5 points SunderedValley

    You ask yourself "why does he feel smothered and afraid to the point he ended up taking refuge in such a thing?"

    It should trigger strong soul searching.

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    6 points JazzlikePromotion618

    16 isn't too late. It's arguably the "best" time for a kid to learn that shit. We all do stupid shit when we're teens that we later look back on as stupid. Better to associate that garbage with that period than any other time of life.

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    -3 points Bitter_Position791

    Lobotomy

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    -4 points Shinonomenanorulez

    Yeah yeah, we know what the alpha male shit does, but we looking for a solution here

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    -1 points OfficialMika

    Its just a phase. Let them be. Its like when kids got emo or anything else that was embarrassing at that age.

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  • 1 points IDontNoWatIAm

    Birdmaxxing

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  • 1 points Rainy_Wavey

    NGL this is goated advice tho

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  • 1 points HyperWhiteChocolate

    Now to be completely fair I'm attracted to dyed hair and tattoos so I am also not immune to the bird brain

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  • 1 points Ok-Manner-9626

    Next he needs to birdmaxx by wearing colorful clothing and learning to dance

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  • 1 points Chance-Yellow7442

    Are we complaining?

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  • 1 points SunderedValley

    The real takeaway is that this person lets their six year old have unrestricted Internet access.

    Like this shouldn't have ever been a worry in the first place.

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    0 points EvenSpoonier

    I mean, I had Charlie Brown's Cyclopedia as a kid, and I certainly was interested in the process of "artracting a mate" (as those books called it) despite having no clue what that actually meant or what the ramifications were. I can believe a six-year-old might get an off-the-wall idea or two.

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    1 points SunderedValley

    Did Charlie Brown's encyclopedia connect to the internet? Why are you being obtuse about this?

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