I am not in danger. I am the danger.
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  • 608 points Biggu5Dicku5

    "I need an adult..."

    - The Snake

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    47 points PopPop6279

    made me lol ty

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    12 points Biggu5Dicku5

    You're welcome buddy... :)

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    3 points Other_Vanilla_5100

    TFS?

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    1 points Biggu5Dicku5

    Yup, Team Four Star... :)

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    1 points Hannibal_Bonnaprte

    Yea Team Foundation Server is relevant here.

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  • 407 points Prior_Patient_4148

    What an amazing story!

    My aunt got bitten by a horned viper a few years ago, she survived and the viper died. But that aunt was a very toxic b*tch, so no one in the family was surprised

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    72 points simontempher1

    Happened to my mil was in Australia was camping when bitten by a eastern brown. Snake immediately withdraws, eyes roll back into head and dies. To date theirs no anti-anti venom

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    36 points joshgi

    Are we supposed to believe there's no venom? or are you taking a piss saying there's not antidote to your MIL 🤣

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    14 points simontempher1

    🎯🎯🎯🎯

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    1 points gingergamer94

    Mil?

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    4 points LupusVir

    Mother in law

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    1 points gingergamer94

    Ah gotcha

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    7 points WingsArisen

    Nice

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  • 111 points DaWhiteSingh

    She must be Australian.

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    72 points STANDARD_P0TAT0

    Image is right side up, so I'm guessing she's from Florida

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    1 points Naive-Art286

    Just Florida things.

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    8 points Big_Pin_9265

    r/beatmetoit

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  • 74 points rikorii

    https://sea.mashable.com/life/21132/2-year-old-girl-gets-bitten-by-snake-then-bites-it-back-and-kills-it-in-revenge

    It's true. Neat.

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    10 points uhmhi

    It’s kinda creepy how the hands in the headline image lines up with the body of the snake…

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    3 points Th3_D0ct0r23

    HAH. I didn't know wot u meant until I clicked the link and now I cant unsee it 😭

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    1 points _TheWolfOfReddit_

    the snake is trying to grab her from the afterlife to get revenge

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  • 100 points KratosHulk77

    Baby Hercules

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    14 points josevaldesv

    Chelsea Norris?

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    1 points Famous-Register-2814

    Pythagoras reincarnate

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  • 32 points floznstn

    r/humansarespaceorcs writing prompt, right here…

    Alien: Your offspring can kill venomous predators with their teeth?

    Proud human parent: Yep, 2 year olds are known to bite

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  • 21 points rawysocki

    "None of you seem to understand. I'm not locked in here with you... you're locked in here with me."

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  • 10 points Instantkiwi33

    That's some Chuck Norris shit right there

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  • 9 points [deleted]

    Non venomous snakes are surprisingly no bug deal.

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  • 40 points VanillaGorilla-420

    My daughter was a biter at that age, and I assure you it’s no joke! She took a chunk out of a kids face at school!!! A snake had no chance 🫡

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    11 points [deleted]

    Nice, get her a Hannibal Lecter mask for Christmas! 😂

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    1 points WhoTheFuck8MyBaby

    Ah yes all the two year old kids in school...

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  • 12 points overwhoop

    Most 2 yr old story ever lol

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  • 6 points Unfiltered_Tool

    Hardcore legend.

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  • 5 points Affectionate-Reach33

    guys does she now become queen?

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  • 5 points rezistence

    Call an ambulance! But not for me!

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  • 5 points [deleted]

    [deleted]

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    2 points Red_Clay_Scholar

    It belonged to the pitbull she ate last week!

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  • 4 points 5043090

    You think I’m locked in here with you, but you’re locked in here with me!

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  • 6 points Realistic_Degree_773

    That is straight-up toddler energy. I remember watching my kid when she was a toddler playing with a toy and when it wouldn't stand right or she struggled to do something with it she would either bite it or slam it against the ground in frustration.

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  • 8 points battlin_jack295

    Thats one badass kid

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  • 4 points Content_Ambition_764

    Good girl!

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    2 points PeacherPreacher

    Stone cold!

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  • 2 points mangotheduck

    Was the snake poisonous? Is the kid ok?

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  • 2 points hushpolocaps69

    xD!

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  • 2 points Friendly-Rabbit5588

    Good for her

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  • 2 points Dramatic_Carob_1060

    I've never seen a girl beat the snake before

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  • 2 points urson_black

    Australian?

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  • 2 points MadMac619

    Reminds me of this classic

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bUT9eQ90EvM

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  • 2 points ComplexNo8986

    Let this be a reminder, we may not have claws or fangs nor exoskeleton, thick hides, or shells. We don’t have toxins and we don’t have camouflage. But we humans are still as dangerous as any animal, we are persistence hunters that exhaust our prey. We have some of the nastiest bacteria in our mouths and when adrenaline kicks in we can bite down just as hard as any other animal. We’ve survived this long and we aren’t going anywhere.

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  • 2 points too_nasty

    2 year olds will eat anything 😆

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  • 2 points Chribbio

    She clearly has read Nietzsche

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  • 2 points vergil718

    "How do you like that huh? Hurts like hell right? So don't do it to other people then"

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  • 2 points RadagastDaGreen

    I always said kids are full of fucking germs

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  • 2 points valhallaswyrdo

    I'm confused, is she poisonous or venomous?

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  • 2 points Mindless-Antelope-25

    That’s actually a real knee-jerk reaction. Good for her!

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  • 2 points Cold-Pop-2893

    The most toddler shit I’ve ever seen

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  • 2 points Fabiodemon88

    If we went back almost 20 years we would see chuck norris memes rn

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  • 2 points [deleted]

    She really said I don’t fear fear, fear fears me 😭🙏🙏

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  • 2 points OkStudent8107

    This 1time my lil cousin tried to claw my eye out, you don't realise how strong these fuckers are ,untill they try to rip your tendons off

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  • 2 points AP126274

    The real doomslayer

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  • 1 points Rengoku_07

    Voh stree hai, kuch bhi kr skti h

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  • 1 points BeachedPandaBear

    If anyone can get a hold of nate bargatze he’d like some advice on this.

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  • 1 points DrN0Face

    Herculean

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  • 1 points ashamedseesaw

    Justin Gaethje type arc

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  • 1 points Impalmator

    Van Damme’s kid

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  • 1 points simontempher1

    Snake: sheesh you’re aggressive

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  • 1 points Ok_Charge9676

    Baby naked Walter

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  • 1 points Three_legged_fish12

    Boss baby….

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  • 1 points Chelsea1827

    I came into the comments to see if anybody mentioned about the 'hand' in the photo...

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  • 1 points SKRyanrr

    That kid is proof of human evolution

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  • 1 points [deleted]

    Don’t trouble the trouble if you trouble the trouble, trouble troubles you. I’m not the trouble…I’m the truth.

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  • 1 points BulbaFriend2000

    This is some Hercules shit

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  • 1 points Logical_slayer1977

    I am sure she is related to chuck norris

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  • 1 points notaspecialuser

    A toddler opens her door and gets bitten, and you think that of me? No. I am the one who knocks.

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  • 1 points MakateyD

    Weird hand

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  • 1 points PurebloodChicken

    Hercules:

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  • 1 points Travesty97

    Yasss Queen!

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  • 1 points SPDHurricane

    Honey Badgers don't give a fuck

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  • 1 points [deleted]

    An eye for an eye

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  • 1 points MagnusBrickson

    Isn't something like this part of the Hercules myth?

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  • 1 points Francy088

    Story seems to be true, but unfortunately there's no info on what type of snake it was. It would've been an interesting piece of information to know how big of a snake a 2-year-old can bite to death.

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  • 1 points Harsh_Madnani

    Whats the moral of the story? Bitches be crazy?

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  • 1 points May_May_222

    Sounds like Hercules in mythology

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  • 1 points Fireball061701

    Are we sure this kid isn’t Heracles???

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  • 1 points tsimen

    Kids are still close to monke, unfortunately we lose that connection when we become old and neurotic 😔

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  • 1 points ScarletKing42

    “I am the one who bites!”- this 2-year-old.

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  • 1 points zepizza85

    Chuck Norris’ grand daughter

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  • 1 points Geolib1453

    After 5 days of agonizing pain... The cobra died.

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  • 1 points Fultium

    Kids, just no limits! lol

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  • 1 points Expensive-Bullfrog76

    Chuck Norris daughter?

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  • 0 points WTF-Idk-boom

    …now show me what it means to change …🎶

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