I remember a boy at school wanted to buy one of these but didn’t have enough money and he asked another lad to go halves on the basis you can “wash it out”
He has an instagram where he makes a bunch of these gag fleshlights. He hasn’t posted in a hot min (or moved accounts maybe?? idk i rarely use socials) but the most recent one was a pie.
Edit: Nvm he’s still active im just stupid and don’t understand instagram’s interface anymore lol. Hes still active. He even made a labubu one lmao
Man this just reminded me of the dude that was going around reddit a while back and posting his fleshlight collection on non sexual subs.
Pretty sure he had a shame kink cause it was always totally off topic of the subreddits he posted to and people dragged the hell out of him before moss would remove the post. Ended up blocking him but checked his profile before I did and man I didn’t realize people could make a hobby out of fleshlight reviews but he sure did.
Huh, now i got reminded of the fleshlight dude who brought his fave fleshlight (Cupcake i believe he call it) everywhere, on like hikes and dates or w/e. I wonder if it's the same guy bc i can't figure why on earth i would know about him otherwise. He also did a bunch of reviews, comparing everything to Cupcake
I'm sure there's a secretive international cabal of lepidopteran irrumationists at the highest levels of world government trying to keep their twisted lifestyle out of the public eye. Or something.
Take it out of the hard case, fill it up, and then you can give Heimlich the Heimlich.
Honestly though, the Flik clit-tickler that came in the box set was peak. Way more rare, but the best way to Flik the bean. When my girl says she wants to “Net-Fliks and chill”, or “watch a Bug’s Life” together, I know we’re in for a good time.
It's really not, lol. All imma say is that opening is as large as or larger than several women I've known. The actual introitus of the vagina isn't very large, gang.
Edit: dang, looks like some of you folks in the atbge post about the Heimlich Fleshlight don't have a very firm grasp on human anatomy, but do have opinions on it lmao
It is meant as a compliment. As in, you actually show awareness of woman’s anatomy, which the people who end up being posted on that sub clearly do not. The commenters on that sub tend to though as they are mocking whenever posted the bad woman’s anatomy.
Someone know the username of that one guy who fucked and ranked all the different pastas in a fleshlight. I feel like he'd be the perfect buyer for this
I hate this… but I do love the “Mandela effect” or “alt universe” nostalgia props.
I saw one guy make an “officially released and licensed” Charizard Flamthrower that was released with the Pokemon movie. The tail is constantly on fire and you squeeze his belly and he belches out napalm.
The dude had very official looking packaging including little play doh like tubs of napalm refill… lmao
Another was the Toy Story gun. It was just a gun. A straight up 38 special with Toy Story packaging and a toy holster setup as if it was sold and marketed to kids as the ultimate Accessory for Woody… even though he has an empty holster. Lmao
I love this kind of stuff… but not this one. I hate it it. Burn it with fire! Burn it with officially licensed Charizard napalm, only available at Toys-R-Us for a limited time. Comes with two coupons for half off movie tickets for the Pokemon movie at participating AMC theaters.
“Gently used”
Genitally used
Gentlemenally used 😎
Generationally used
Geriatrically used
He has the goddamn common curtesy to give it a reach-around after using it
“Don’t sleep on that bad boy”… I don’t think it’s for sleeping 😂
Some might want to snuggle with it
"light wear"
So gross, anyone want my gently used sex toys? Yuck
With or without the tickler?
Yeah, I want em used HARD.
"I'm a beautiful butterfl-oough-obble-globfft... "
I hate that I’m hearing this in my head.
Apologies, but I couldn't be the only one
I'm right there with ya
I about choked when I read that
So did Heimlich
I'm going to hell for laughing as long as I did. And re-reading. It's just funny.
You've won the Internet today. But at what cost?
🧈🪰
The ticklers are often misused, huh?
The testicklers?
I was hoping he'd have said something about flipping Heimlich over to achieve this.
"from being shoved... misused" he did
I remember a boy at school wanted to buy one of these but didn’t have enough money and he asked another lad to go halves on the basis you can “wash it out”
Missed out on a nice collectible. This is now a mantle piece in some homes
Another fabulous day on Reddit to have eyes
The site gives so many treasures like the coconut, broken arms, jolly ranchers, the poop knife
I only know what half of these references mean and I’m fine with that.
Can't forget about the spider and cockroach children
I've never heard of that one, is it worse than the ones I referenced?
About as terrifying as the ones above. If you wanna know go to r/TIFU and sort by top of all time cuz I'm not going back there again to find them
I'll skip out on it then. It really sounds disturbing from those few words alone. Thanks!
Also the Doritos.
And nice ones like today you, Tomorrow me.
Wait this is a real historical product and not a contemporary joke?
Did you not have commercials for this in your region?
Not just can, you absolutely should.
Sounds fair to me
This is bullshit. They didn't demonstrate that it's functional. If you're going to make something like this, you need to go all the way.
He has an instagram where he makes a bunch of these gag fleshlights. He hasn’t posted in a hot min (or moved accounts maybe?? idk i rarely use socials) but the most recent one was a pie.
Edit: Nvm he’s still active im just stupid and don’t understand instagram’s interface anymore lol. Hes still active. He even made a labubu one lmao
I need to find more of his stuff cause the first one was the KFC Flesh Light (Kentucky Fried Coochie) a little too crispy for me.
Keep scrolling there’s more lol
Man this just reminded me of the dude that was going around reddit a while back and posting his fleshlight collection on non sexual subs.
Pretty sure he had a shame kink cause it was always totally off topic of the subreddits he posted to and people dragged the hell out of him before moss would remove the post. Ended up blocking him but checked his profile before I did and man I didn’t realize people could make a hobby out of fleshlight reviews but he sure did.
Huh, now i got reminded of the fleshlight dude who brought his fave fleshlight (Cupcake i believe he call it) everywhere, on like hikes and dates or w/e. I wonder if it's the same guy bc i can't figure why on earth i would know about him otherwise. He also did a bunch of reviews, comparing everything to Cupcake
[deleted]
Weirdly, as far as I know there's no law against violently facefucking a caterpillar
Thank god!
r/brandnewsentence
...batman!
Why not?
I'm sure there's a secretive international cabal of lepidopteran irrumationists at the highest levels of world government trying to keep their twisted lifestyle out of the public eye. Or something.
Well that would fall under one of those "i cannot believe we had to make a law about that"
[deleted]
It is an insect.
[deleted]
Does that mean Shrek isn't allowed either?
I wanna stick it in the holes of his head dongles.
What if I wanna facefuck Lord Farquaad? Or Fiona, since you seem like the kind of puritanical weirdo who might want bisexuality outlawed too?
I know the person who makes these and I assure he’s not a danger to anyone
"Oh my God it's nothing but CAD files for silicone molds and Dwarf Fortress saves"
That’s escalated quickly.
Fleshlight Jr
Yup lol
You know...
It's my fault for having eyes.
This really is on you. Don't got nobody to blame but yourself. Maybe try to do better next time /j
This is some foul shit, and I’m here for it. I wish this sub would get more videos of peoples’ exquisitely made, yet horrifying creations
Yeah, I'm bored with the trashy tattoos, give me more unfathomable horrors crafted with skilled hands
Exactly! The tattoos are magnificent but getting stale. The people demand depth
NOOOOO, NOT HEIMLICH!!!!!!
R34
At least he knows the manoeuvre when something gets stuck in his throat...
used to practise the heimlich thrust
Yep, checks out. Only 90's babies would would grow up degenerate enough to create something like this.
Take it out of the hard case, fill it up, and then you can give Heimlich the Heimlich.
Honestly though, the Flik clit-tickler that came in the box set was peak. Way more rare, but the best way to Flik the bean. When my girl says she wants to “Net-Fliks and chill”, or “watch a Bug’s Life” together, I know we’re in for a good time.
This is not what I think it is is it? Coz that opening looks tiny af to manufacture this
Platinum-cure silicone is stretchy as all get out. For this...use case...you actually want a small opening.
But that mouth is way too tiny. My mind just not accepting that even if they take the sleeve out and use. It still seems too tiny
Like, you know that the adult human vaginal opening is less than 1.5cm across on average when at rest, yeah?
It's really not, lol. All imma say is that opening is as large as or larger than several women I've known. The actual introitus of the vagina isn't very large, gang.
Edit: dang, looks like some of you folks in the atbge post about the Heimlich Fleshlight don't have a very firm grasp on human anatomy, but do have opinions on it lmao
Your comment is the kind of educational information you find from commenters over at the bad woman’s anatomy sub.
I don't know whether or not that's complimentary, if I'm being honest
Do you mean the people commenting on the post, or in the post?
It is meant as a compliment. As in, you actually show awareness of woman’s anatomy, which the people who end up being posted on that sub clearly do not. The commenters on that sub tend to though as they are mocking whenever posted the bad woman’s anatomy.
They are saying you're talking very confidently and also straight out of your ass
Except he's not. My asshole is watertight enough to waddle to the toilet when I have food poisoning, but it can also fit a turd the size of a Mag-lite
Well that was an ironic thing to say, but thanks for outing yourself.
Not “A Bug’s Light”
This guys has a bunch of other weird and hilarious ones on YouTube. Like the shrek ear that you pull the ear wax candle out of and go to town on it.
Oh shit it's the Mater-bater! AND THE TREADS AREN'T EVEN WORN do not sleep
Should be in /r/holup
I can’t believe you’ve done this.
What the cinnamon toast fuck is this?
What is this thing?
If you don't know, then don't worry about it. Just go about your day and enjoy your ignorance!
It's the caterpillar from a bugs life. He becomes a butterfly when you finish.....when you finish the movie of course 👀
Well that’s fucking horrible on so many different levels.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought the Heimlich maneuver was supposed to dislodge foreign objects from the throat 🤔
A man who knows his craft. An expert in the fleshlite
Stop lol
Oh good it has the ticklers, thank god
Joe Ranft didn’t die for this shit
This is great taste wym
A more innocent time.
I want to put something I don't have in it
"Often times the ticklers will have fallen off, or, you know... Been misused."
What a terrible day to not be Helen Keller.
Commentary like its Antiques Roadshow.
A bugs life caterpillar
Don't Sleep!
.... Hmmm.... I... Mmm. NO!
/r/theyknew
Link to purchase?
[clears throat]
Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he's created here on earth?
Why is the mouth so big?
Mlazari is awesome.
That thing was not “gently used” ever…🤣😂
Just so we are on the same page... That's a flashlight, right? Flash. With an "A", right...? RIGHT???
I don’t like this.
I didn't realize the sub, I thought it was a children's toy.
Forbidden Fleshlight
Limited edition Pixar collaboration, a bugs life fleshlight
This dude's collection is astounding. True expert in his field.
Nah cause why you face fucking him though?
The homie malek!
Mouth is too small on this fleshlight model...
Just gotta woller it out a lil bit, and break it in.
Someone know the username of that one guy who fucked and ranked all the different pastas in a fleshlight. I feel like he'd be the perfect buyer for this
How would you get a small cylinder unstuck from one of these?
"Have been misused" got me good
I hate this… but I do love the “Mandela effect” or “alt universe” nostalgia props.
I saw one guy make an “officially released and licensed” Charizard Flamthrower that was released with the Pokemon movie. The tail is constantly on fire and you squeeze his belly and he belches out napalm. The dude had very official looking packaging including little play doh like tubs of napalm refill… lmao
Another was the Toy Story gun. It was just a gun. A straight up 38 special with Toy Story packaging and a toy holster setup as if it was sold and marketed to kids as the ultimate Accessory for Woody… even though he has an empty holster. Lmao
I love this kind of stuff… but not this one. I hate it it. Burn it with fire! Burn it with officially licensed Charizard napalm, only available at Toys-R-Us for a limited time. Comes with two coupons for half off movie tickets for the Pokemon movie at participating AMC theaters.
Yes I remember bug pussy
was anyone else confused and thought they were in the /r/nostalgia subreddit?
was thinking this was one of those poorly thought out disney toys like the tarzan toy that jerks off.
"Look at me, I'm a Beautiful Butter....glorb glorb"
A Bug's Life and the Fleshlight came out in the same year, 1998.
Must have been a joint venture to help get the name out there.
Pixar is all about boosting small businesses.
“Or so sleep on it, no shame “
Aww... don't do Heimlich dirty like that. A terrible memorial for a talented artist - the late Joe Ranft was an incredible animator and writer.
What do we even call this monstrosity? The Heim-light? The Flesh-lich?
His mouth doesn't open tho
“From the movie bugs life”
Welp, I know what im throwing in my works dirty santa.
yes very funny but what is it actually meant to be for? just a cute thingie?
The Heimlussy
Gently used, light wear....
I'm in my 40's and never seen this in my life. Looks like something from Thomas The Tank Engine.
Saw another video of a KFC version....
Kentucky Fried Coochie baby :)
Tarzan
If you know, you know.
That’s a fleshlight damn it!
THAT'S what this cursed thing is?! 😳