It really is wild. When you are inside these massive casinos you would never know you are sitting over the water. They drive the piles deep in the ground under the water and that eventually becomes the sturdy base for everything else to be built upon. It’s funny because here in Louisiana, we have a law about not allowing casinos on land……they used to have these big paddle boat casinos and that was their original loop hole but then one of them finally decided to just build an entire building just over the water and they allowed that. Money talks. Sure this house was quite expensive to build also.
Yea, even in Louisiana thy are starting to change the laws also. Still needs to be near water but they are a lot more lenient. The ones in Lake Charles (where I’m from) were built before those laws were changed though.
We had a few floating restaurants and clubs in Cincinnati where they were basically built on barges with the walkway having the ability to rise and lower with the changes in river level. Maintenance was always the biggest issue with them and a primary reason they closed.
I honestly miss having the really big casino boats. They would actually take the boats out into the lake at night and sail around it for like 2-3 hours and then dock again. I only got to do that one time but it was a cool idea.
Have you ever seen a ship to shore crane? They’re much heavier than a house, and they’re built on lightweight (usually floatable) concrete docks at ports. This is also a big boathouse, so probably the bottom level is boathouse, which isn’t very heavy, with the top being the bedrooms and bathrooms.
“Everyone said I was daft to build a castle in a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show them. It sank I to the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank in to the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up.”
Little known fact: This is why so many people in Texas have a framed picture of the Ten Commandments hanging somewhere in their house. Prayer-based insurance requirement.
My partner’s retired dad has a beachfront condo (vacation place, not primary residence) & I swear insurance is his only topic of conversation. Not just his insurance but everyone’s. We know what every person in the building pays, what they paid 3 renewals ago, how it differs by floor, which assessments were funded vs. unfunded & probably what Neptune himself is charging for flood coverage. I did not consent to this knowledge, yet here we are.
This is also the sole topic when the condo owners get together for their weekly 3pm dinner date. If someone’s premium goes up even a dollar, it’s breaking news & alerts are issued. We are informed immediately despite the fact we live 4 hours away & give zero shits. It’s basically their version of discussing age-related health issues, but with spreadsheets, so we just humor him by repeating ooohhh, ahhhh & omgggg.
All of that is to say, yes, that was my first thought too. I need to send this listing to my FIL because he & the condo gang could milk this for months of discussion.
ETA, because this is a funny story if you care: While we were there over Thanksgiving, my FIL casually drops that the married 80 something yr old condo president got caught having an affair with the new handyman & was promptly removed from her position.
My nosey ass immediately snapped to attention. Like oh?? NOW we’re talking. Please, sir, circle back & give me names, timelines, dramatic confrontations in the lobby. I want it allllll! But no, he brushed it off like it was nothing noteworthy & went straight back to...you guessed it...insurance.
I sat there, absolutely deflated, wondering how this bombshell didn’t even crack the top 5 most interesting things happening in this building. Because if an octogenarian condo president/handyman scandal isn’t noteworthy, then what unholy things are these grandparents doing behind our back? (Don't answer that.)
That's where his condo is & roughly what the ground floor is paying. It is cheaper the higher the level. His is on the 8th floor & he pays ~$7k/quarter. It it higher now because the assessment isn't funded (it got wiped clean a couple of years ago after that condo in FL collapsed & new building codes & inspections were put into place state wide).
I used to be in the insurance business and A friend of mine from then took a job with an insurance broker that specialized in high income individuals in the north east. Many of these people have properties in Florida and throughout the country, but one in particular had just built a New house in Naples. Anyway, he finally got the underwriters everything they needed and when the premium came back, it was $30,000 a month for this home.
He told me property owners decided to just self insure, they owned the property outright so just rolling the dice.
Just in the last 10 years, the insurance situation in Florida has changed drastically. Problem is your property and casualty carriers cannot offload some of that risk to reinsurance due to those companies, pulling out. The company I had a contract with, stopped selling any property insurance east of I 95 down the east coast about seven years ago. I think it started at North Carolina and ended in Florida.
I'll dig into it more at Christmas. My partner is indifferent to this kind of stuff but my stepdaughter's dad is coming to our house for dinner & he's nosey like me (he's the 1st person I texted when FIL casually dropped the affair bomb). FIL is a whore for a captive audience so I think between the 2 of us we'll be able to tag team it & drag some drama out of him. 😂
Yes, he's her ex husband & they've been divorced a few years. He's a nice guy & we have all made it a point to be friends. fter he got over the initial shock of me being a woman, he's never been nothing but nice to me. He's never tried to cause any problems, is a great dad & we're working together towards the common goal of creating a happy teenager. We have him over frequently & he house/dog sits for us when we travel. It works for us & is very low key.
My own daughter got to benefit from this 3 parent relationship when her dad (my ex) accepted my then partner, who I was with from when she was 6-adulthood, into his life so I wanted to work hard on being able to give my stepdaughter that village as well. Fortunately her dad wanted the same thing & has made it easy. We have similar personalities & senses of humor, which are the polar opposite than my partner's uptight & formal family, so it's always more fun having him at family gatherings & I'm always the 1st to suggest we invite him so I'm not the only weirdo (but their standards) there.
Sorry, I just woke up & I'm not clear headed yet so hopefully this makes sense.
Thank you! We live in the Bible Belt so everyone outside our circle of people are uncomfortable with this arrangement. I guess they want us all hating each other & fighting because that's what divorced people are suppose to do? Because that's healthy for kids, right? 🙄
He works in a man's man type of field & the guys at work really gave him hell for it at first. They made fun of him saying he should be embarrassed or emasculated that she "left him for a woman" or "couldn't keep his woman satisfied" & other bullshit remarks like that. (For the record, we didn't meet until long after they were divorced, but facts don't matter to small minded assholes.)
He was really bothered by it at first but finally told them it takes a real man to do what's best for the kids & not care about their fragile ego. Our little motley crew family is happy so that's what matters.
After most of the first paragraph, I started skimming for numbers, then jumped down to your comment which, frankly, gave me more pertinent information than the parent comment.
While chatting it up on the beach with the resident gossip the next day, I was able to learn that the handyman is also a condo owner but recently accepted the role to make ends meet after he retired early & then gambled away his savings. He is around 47 years old, was part of their little snowbird dinners & friends with the president's husband.
Husband is semi-wealthy & there's a prenup in place with a clause for an affair but handyman didn't know this so he thought he would be able to steal the wife & her part of the money. I think the last part is pure speculation on their part but does seem plausible due to the age difference. As an avid true crime connoisseur, I was just glad he didn't try to off the guy but maybe that would have been step 2 had they not been caught. 🤷♀️😂
Most men do not know how to gossip and it’s infuriating. Way to bury the lead my guy, you’re sitting on a perfectly brewed pot of tea but all you offer is lukewarm tap water. Godspeed
I love retirement drama. My dad tells me all about a lady in his community that’s universally loathed. At last year’s white elephant party, rules were that once an item had been stolen 3 times, that person gets to keep it. I guess she was the second person to steal a hot ticket item, so someone else could still steal from her. Well, she got up and tucked that present under her arm and left early so no one could take it from her. People were big mad and she wasn’t invited this year. She also went to a high tea and demanded coffee, which my dad found appalling. I don’t think they discuss insurance, but I know snow removal is a hot topic.
Ohhh that's juicy! I don't blame them being mad. I love that she didn't get invited this year. That's a level of pettiness I can get behind.
The details about your dad being appalled over the coffee order describes exactly the person my FIL is. He is a man of principles & tradition so he takes any deviation from that as a personal insult. Last summer, a fellow church parishioner had the nerve to wear a baby blue suit coat to mass & we have had to hear about it almost daily ever since. His pants were black & that is always a detail to the story. I can't tell what relevance it has though but he definitely didn't approve. You can imagine how it went over when my partner came out of the closet a few years ago but after his initial come-apart, he's actually shocked with how accepting he has been to me.
I'm intrigued by this snow removal & can see how it would be a hot discussion. Is there drama over it, like someone blowing it into someone else's yard or someone not pulling their weight? Or are they just discussing the cost?
I don't know how to link to a comment I just made above, so here is what I know:
While chatting it up on the beach with the resident gossip the next day, I was able to learn that the handyman is also a condo owner but recently accepted the role to make ends meet after he retired early & then gambled away his savings. He is around 47 years old, was part of their little snowbird dinners & friends with the president's husband.
Husband is semi-wealthy & there's a prenup in place with a clause for an affair but handyman didn't know this so he thought he would be able to steal the wife & her part of the money. I think the last part is pure speculation on their part but does seem plausible due to the age difference. As an avid true crime connoisseur, I was just glad he didn't try to off the guy but maybe that would have been step 2 had they not been caught. 🤷♀️😂
Hahaha this so funny to me. I bartended on Amelia Island (East coast of Florida) and the cute lil old couples would come up and drink their martinis. And sure as rain start bitching about their insurance. Or HOA. And even worse when they themselves were the HOA.
I got so invested in that story and now I’m disappointed by proxy! How old was the handyman?????? Did she pay him extra, you know, under the table? With the HOA fees????
He's around 47. I did ask the gossipy lady about that, which is when she told me how the affair was discovered through emails. Evidently the president told the board the price the handyman quoted for a particular job outside his typical scope of responsibilities. The board felt like it was too high & asked her for a quote breakdown to review. She promised to have it at the next meeting.
They had some family stuff going on at the time & she was going to be running late to the meeting so the husband thought he was doing her a favor by logging into her email to print out the quote. That's when he discovered the affair.
The handyman was new to the job so she didn't have the opportunity to overpay him yet because it was discovered so soon. Had the affair continued she likely could have tried to funnel HOA money to him but it's unlikely she would have been successful since the board keeps a tight handle on the books. The books are their hobby & lifeblood so she probably couldn't have spent $20 without being questioned.
I do know that she did give the handyman a substantial amount of money (rumor is around $75-$100k) from her & her husbands joint personal accounts. They have fuck you money so he didn't notice it missing at the time. He only saw it after he discovered the affair & went to digging into their finances in detail with his lawyer & accountant.
He's no longer a handyman but as of Thanksgiving, he still did live there. If he's as broke as the rumors say, he'll likey end up losing that place pretty quickly.
Timeline: Approximately 4 months before they got caught. The husband found emails between them when he went into her account to find the quote handyman had given on landscaping or something like that.
Proof: No, thank you. I love the gossip but I don't want to see pictures of this shit so I'm not asking for that.
You gotta figure that an insurance company would assume the home won’t survive the length of a 30-year mortgage.
Texas is also one of the four or five most expensive states for homeowners insurance.
I’m going to do a rough calculation here…
But it looks like the average premium in Texas is ~$4,500 and the average home in Texas is around $350,000.
That’s obviously mostly calculated on normal homes not on the coast, let alone ON the water.
So you roughly multiply that by 10 to start and you’re looking at around $45k for a $3.5mm home.
Add on the fact that it’s not just waterfront, but for all intents and purposes an island with a roof, you gotta figure to properly insure the place you’re looking around $100k a year. I can’t imagine it being any cheaper.
So all-in, you’re basically paying the full value of the home in insurance over that 30 year mortgage term.
$11mm+++ for a home that likely won’t survive the length of the mortgage.
I’d say they’re going to have trouble selling it, but there’s a lot of morons in Texas…
This is all assuming the insurance isn’t drastically more than a hundy K a year and you’d even get insured in the first place.
It also assumes your property taxes won’t skyrocket when Texas needs to save itself from insolvency in a decade and that insurance won’t double or triple in 10 or 20 years.
So I guess best case is you have a 30 year rental home on the water for $11.2 Million.
Oh, also all the local high school you’d be sending your kid to if you go public is ranked 11,394 in the nation.
And that is why kids in the Netherlands (loads of water everywhere and very little fencing) have to swim in clothing (with shoes on) to pass their swimming tests. The initial level is just long sleeve shirt, pants, and shoes. In the higher level, you have to swim with your coat on too.
I see in movies and video games (RPGs where you've got 30 tons of crap in your backpack, especially) all the time, people are just straight up swim racing while their boots are full of water and their poofy winter coat are drenched.
It’s taught in schools in the US too (I am an aquatics PE teacher) but it varies by state due to state funding and proximity to water. With that being said I have not seen swimming in clothes or a coat so I may bring that up as something we should consider adding to our program, thank you!
We had swimming classes in middle school since we had a pool. One of the things we learned was how to swim with clothing on. They made us bring in pants and a long sleeve button up shirt. We learned how to take them both off and turn them into flotation devices.
Have them wear life vests from getting up to getting in bed. And teach them how to blow the attached emergency whistle. Tell them not to feed the piranhas or alligators, and to call you if they see sharks or anacondas swimming nearby.
Okay, so it was built in 2005. First listed for sale 2009. Over the years it's been repeatedly listed for sale, only to have the listing removed. I wonder what the story is there...
Yes, I've heard from people who live on houseboats how cold they always are. For us humans, temps a bit above freezing combined with high humidity are the most miserable. The cold creeps into your bones. 🥶
The concrete bulkhead and floating dock themselves are expensive as well. It’s just that the resale value isn’t there because most people who can afford those kinds of improvements aren’t looking for this type of property for personal use.
I'm certain no one is allowed to have fun on that lake. There are series of "concerned neibhors" always watching out their window just ready to complain about something.
A relative of mine had private beach access, which we had to use. Within 5 minutes some "beach security" probably a concerned neibhor started drilling us on who we are and how we got here. We told them who and what house and he stormed off and said well we will see about that. The last time we went and took a walk again we spotted two of the houses someone was staring at us through binoculars.
I can only imagine those gated communities or anywhere nice are more like little prisons. HOA rules, everyone has a ring door bell. Everyone narcing on eachother over petty bullshit like parking spaces, or dogs pooping in eachothers lawn.
Bigger concern for someone driving their jetski or motor boat into your house. Not like there’s any lanes or roads, and one distracted drunk driver is all it takes.
I'm dying to know what the foundation setup looks like, I'm assuming they have a pier and beam setup but I've never seen them done in the water for a residential property
these people must have a shitload of fuck you money
Houseboats are a common thing out here in Seattle, I had a similar question and a guy I knew explained it pretty plainly- flexible pipe. That’s it. That’s the whole fix pretty much.
Wow. That's incredibly re... diculous. Side note, can someone point me to the nearest planet where housing is treated as a means of shelter and not an investment opportunity. Thanks.
My parents have a floating house like this. It’s a vacation property. The lake they are on has hundreds of floating houses and the marinas are all large buildings on floating platforms, too. It floats on a platform supported by encapsulated styrofoam. It can handle waves and does not flood, it rises and falls with water levels. The plumbing is similar to a boat with marine toilets and a holding tank. Power is connected to shore via underwater cables. They have advanced water filtration that enables them to get drinkable water directly from the lake. Mortgages and insurance can be tricky, but in places where these houses are common there are some community banks and small insurance companies that will underwrite you. It’s super cool and definitely isn’t weird once you see it irl!
Are they often this big as well? How would a sprawling house float and not start to accumulate a bunch of stress fractures? On this particular house we can see a space between the structure and the water, so I'm skeptical. But the only floating properties (all commercial) I’ve seen exist on a barge like structure. What does the base look like on the ones you've seen?
This one is bigger than any of the houses I’ve been to, but it’s smaller than the marina buildings on the lake, which often have full offices and restaurants! My parents house is a 3 bed, 2 bath with a large living room and kitchen, plus a second story loft, maybe 1800 square feet of living space if I had to guess. I’m not really sure how there aren’t stress fractures honestly, but the construction is built for this purpose. The interior is finished with drywall and there are no cracks! The platform the house is on is basically a big wooden dock (the marina buildings often have concrete platforms) and then each of the floats are about 3 feet by five feet in size and spaced a foot or so apart, under the whole house. It basically results in the house floating 6-24” above water. My dad likes ours to float a little higher so he added extra floats underneath when they bought it. I don’t wanna dox myself but here’s a pic where you can see the float system, our house sitting higher than what I’d say is average height above the water for other houses near them.
Surprisingly, it's in a minimal flood zone. Tyler is midway between Dallas and Shreveport, not along the gulf. But, still, no, this is not a good idea.
i'm confused. is this a boathouse? the ad refers to a stone retaining wall, and says build a house or live in the boathouse. so are the photos of the boathouse?????
EDIT: and if the house is the boathouse, why does it sit so low? it looks like the floor level is inches from the water. One boat speeding by, or a windy day, and the lake will be in your house!
It looks like that’s the only house currently, but the property has 9.5 acres on land so you can build another house if you for some reason prefer to not be flooded out of bed every time an asshole in a speedboat goes by.
From what I can tell, there's this big boathouse, and then there's a 3-car garage on land, and that's it. There appears to be a big cleared space on the property to build a large main residence, but it's like all the resources went into the boathouse instead.
That just seems like a stupid waste of money. You could have built that 100 feet away on the shore and not had to deal with the inevitable issues that this will experience.
Nah this is on Lake Tyler in Texas which is a man-made lake acting as a water reservoir. There's a dam so they would control the max height of the water and anything more goes into a spillway, that's why they can build there like that.
I see. But it’s still counting on a lot of things to work properly and there’s no guarantee that the army corps or whoever manages it won’t raise the water level in an emergency flooding situation.
"The estate includes a 5,811 sq ft under roof high-end boathouse designed for luxurious living and entertaining—featuring covered porches and balcony, an outdoor spa, 3 boat garages, a floating dock, and upscale finishes throughout. Plus, enjoy a 1,760 sq ft heated and cooled 3-car garage and workshop with ADA-compliant guest quarters—totaling 7,470 sq ft under roof perfect for guests or income."
I know who built this house, the original owner and I have stayed there before. It’s beautiful. It was meant to be a lake house with a bigger house built on the land behind.
Lakeside? That is lake-on.
I'm not sure I understand. I didn't realize you could float an entire mansion on a dock.
It says it's on a slab. I don't understand how.
It's not hard. Build a coffer dam. Pump out the water inside the dam. Fill the dam with concrete. remove the coffer dam.
Ancient Romans were using this technology, and many of their structures still stand.
“It’s not hard” then proceeds to describe insane engineering that humans have perfected over a millennia
Durability had/has a lot to do with the concrete formula (see, e.g. https://news.mit.edu/2023/roman-concrete-durability-lime-casts-0106)
Its a slab of plastic?
If it's not load bearing, it's styrofoam?
More than likely there are piles driven into the lakebed under the house with a slab of concrete on top.
We have entire casinos/resorts floating on water in Louisiana! Sure a house is way easier.
😳 I had no idea, that's wild.
It really is wild. When you are inside these massive casinos you would never know you are sitting over the water. They drive the piles deep in the ground under the water and that eventually becomes the sturdy base for everything else to be built upon. It’s funny because here in Louisiana, we have a law about not allowing casinos on land……they used to have these big paddle boat casinos and that was their original loop hole but then one of them finally decided to just build an entire building just over the water and they allowed that. Money talks. Sure this house was quite expensive to build also.
Mississippi used to have that law until hurricane Katrina destroyed every casino on the coast. Now they can build up to 1000 feet inland.
Yea, even in Louisiana thy are starting to change the laws also. Still needs to be near water but they are a lot more lenient. The ones in Lake Charles (where I’m from) were built before those laws were changed though.
Very Venetian
We had a few floating restaurants and clubs in Cincinnati where they were basically built on barges with the walkway having the ability to rise and lower with the changes in river level. Maintenance was always the biggest issue with them and a primary reason they closed.
I honestly miss having the really big casino boats. They would actually take the boats out into the lake at night and sail around it for like 2-3 hours and then dock again. I only got to do that one time but it was a cool idea.
Have you ever seen a ship to shore crane? They’re much heavier than a house, and they’re built on lightweight (usually floatable) concrete docks at ports. This is also a big boathouse, so probably the bottom level is boathouse, which isn’t very heavy, with the top being the bedrooms and bathrooms.
One rough storm and it’s gonna be lake-in.
I'm thinking the wake from the speed boat will send water right inside!
It’s a boathouse that’s been there for 20 years. The bottom story is built to accommodate water levels rising.
Houseboat
“Everyone said I was daft to build a castle in a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show them. It sank I to the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank in to the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up.”
Wild Mitch comment!
It used to be on the water. It still is, but it used to be too.
How many bedrooms does it have?
This bedroom is in that guys house. Sir are you aware you have one of my bedrooms?
Don't decorate it
Top is a side.
r/unexpectedmitch
I hear there use to be a basement
RIP Mitch
there are 6 ducks outside and they all want sun chips.
What do you think the insurance is like?
it's prayer based insurance
Little known fact: This is why so many people in Texas have a framed picture of the Ten Commandments hanging somewhere in their house. Prayer-based insurance requirement.
also why we got a church every .5 miles, it’s a public service
My partner’s retired dad has a beachfront condo (vacation place, not primary residence) & I swear insurance is his only topic of conversation. Not just his insurance but everyone’s. We know what every person in the building pays, what they paid 3 renewals ago, how it differs by floor, which assessments were funded vs. unfunded & probably what Neptune himself is charging for flood coverage. I did not consent to this knowledge, yet here we are.
This is also the sole topic when the condo owners get together for their weekly 3pm dinner date. If someone’s premium goes up even a dollar, it’s breaking news & alerts are issued. We are informed immediately despite the fact we live 4 hours away & give zero shits. It’s basically their version of discussing age-related health issues, but with spreadsheets, so we just humor him by repeating ooohhh, ahhhh & omgggg.
All of that is to say, yes, that was my first thought too. I need to send this listing to my FIL because he & the condo gang could milk this for months of discussion.
ETA, because this is a funny story if you care: While we were there over Thanksgiving, my FIL casually drops that the married 80 something yr old condo president got caught having an affair with the new handyman & was promptly removed from her position.
My nosey ass immediately snapped to attention. Like oh?? NOW we’re talking. Please, sir, circle back & give me names, timelines, dramatic confrontations in the lobby. I want it allllll! But no, he brushed it off like it was nothing noteworthy & went straight back to...you guessed it...insurance.
I sat there, absolutely deflated, wondering how this bombshell didn’t even crack the top 5 most interesting things happening in this building. Because if an octogenarian condo president/handyman scandal isn’t noteworthy, then what unholy things are these grandparents doing behind our back? (Don't answer that.)
All that and 0 information about how much the insurance actually costs. Infuriating.
I had family on the gulf down in Florida and theirs was like 70k/year 🤯
Edit: specifically their flood insurance
That's where his condo is & roughly what the ground floor is paying. It is cheaper the higher the level. His is on the 8th floor & he pays ~$7k/quarter. It it higher now because the assessment isn't funded (it got wiped clean a couple of years ago after that condo in FL collapsed & new building codes & inspections were put into place state wide).
Holy shit, I live on FL east coast 4 mi from the atlantic as the crow flies, 2.7k/yr. Most people who are paying outrageous premiums are on the gulf.
That sounds like fire insurance here in CA
I used to be in the insurance business and A friend of mine from then took a job with an insurance broker that specialized in high income individuals in the north east. Many of these people have properties in Florida and throughout the country, but one in particular had just built a New house in Naples. Anyway, he finally got the underwriters everything they needed and when the premium came back, it was $30,000 a month for this home. He told me property owners decided to just self insure, they owned the property outright so just rolling the dice.
Just in the last 10 years, the insurance situation in Florida has changed drastically. Problem is your property and casualty carriers cannot offload some of that risk to reinsurance due to those companies, pulling out. The company I had a contract with, stopped selling any property insurance east of I 95 down the east coast about seven years ago. I think it started at North Carolina and ended in Florida.
😂 My apologies. TLDR: Fuck if I know but probably a lot.
Never apologise, it was hilarious and frankly I also need to know the details now. Tell your FIL that the public must know!
I'll dig into it more at Christmas. My partner is indifferent to this kind of stuff but my stepdaughter's dad is coming to our house for dinner & he's nosey like me (he's the 1st person I texted when FIL casually dropped the affair bomb). FIL is a whore for a captive audience so I think between the 2 of us we'll be able to tag team it & drag some drama out of him. 😂
Does that make him your partner’s ex-partner? If so, I love you even more for all of this. (This would be me, too lol)
Yes, he's her ex husband & they've been divorced a few years. He's a nice guy & we have all made it a point to be friends. fter he got over the initial shock of me being a woman, he's never been nothing but nice to me. He's never tried to cause any problems, is a great dad & we're working together towards the common goal of creating a happy teenager. We have him over frequently & he house/dog sits for us when we travel. It works for us & is very low key.
My own daughter got to benefit from this 3 parent relationship when her dad (my ex) accepted my then partner, who I was with from when she was 6-adulthood, into his life so I wanted to work hard on being able to give my stepdaughter that village as well. Fortunately her dad wanted the same thing & has made it easy. We have similar personalities & senses of humor, which are the polar opposite than my partner's uptight & formal family, so it's always more fun having him at family gatherings & I'm always the 1st to suggest we invite him so I'm not the only weirdo (but their standards) there.
Sorry, I just woke up & I'm not clear headed yet so hopefully this makes sense.
That’s genuinely heartwarming.
Thank you! We live in the Bible Belt so everyone outside our circle of people are uncomfortable with this arrangement. I guess they want us all hating each other & fighting because that's what divorced people are suppose to do? Because that's healthy for kids, right? 🙄
He works in a man's man type of field & the guys at work really gave him hell for it at first. They made fun of him saying he should be embarrassed or emasculated that she "left him for a woman" or "couldn't keep his woman satisfied" & other bullshit remarks like that. (For the record, we didn't meet until long after they were divorced, but facts don't matter to small minded assholes.)
He was really bothered by it at first but finally told them it takes a real man to do what's best for the kids & not care about their fragile ego. Our little motley crew family is happy so that's what matters.
It really is! This sounds like an awesome family
This is perfect, vicarious gossip is exactly the kind of low stakes drama I need at Christmas!
Typical Reddit
After most of the first paragraph, I started skimming for numbers, then jumped down to your comment which, frankly, gave me more pertinent information than the parent comment.
The handyman story has got to be interesting- I’m with you- suspicious that it rated barely a mention……
While chatting it up on the beach with the resident gossip the next day, I was able to learn that the handyman is also a condo owner but recently accepted the role to make ends meet after he retired early & then gambled away his savings. He is around 47 years old, was part of their little snowbird dinners & friends with the president's husband.
Husband is semi-wealthy & there's a prenup in place with a clause for an affair but handyman didn't know this so he thought he would be able to steal the wife & her part of the money. I think the last part is pure speculation on their part but does seem plausible due to the age difference. As an avid true crime connoisseur, I was just glad he didn't try to off the guy but maybe that would have been step 2 had they not been caught. 🤷♀️😂
I obviously don't know these people, but I am hooked. Give me 12 seasons of this show.
Coming from a grandparent, old is not dead. Swingers happen way more than you want to think. And at 80 no hardon goes to waste.
I’m going to put “No Hardon Goes to Waste” in my signature block in Microsoft Outlook.
It will probably get you a lot more appraising looks from women, and some men.
If you add the second line- Send request for consideration to be added to my priority speed dial settings- it might even get you more sex.
Most men do not know how to gossip and it’s infuriating. Way to bury the lead my guy, you’re sitting on a perfectly brewed pot of tea but all you offer is lukewarm tap water. Godspeed
Just FYI, not that I give a fuck, but some useful information: https://www.merriam-webster.com/wordplay/bury-the-lede-versus-lead
I love retirement drama. My dad tells me all about a lady in his community that’s universally loathed. At last year’s white elephant party, rules were that once an item had been stolen 3 times, that person gets to keep it. I guess she was the second person to steal a hot ticket item, so someone else could still steal from her. Well, she got up and tucked that present under her arm and left early so no one could take it from her. People were big mad and she wasn’t invited this year. She also went to a high tea and demanded coffee, which my dad found appalling. I don’t think they discuss insurance, but I know snow removal is a hot topic.
Ohhh that's juicy! I don't blame them being mad. I love that she didn't get invited this year. That's a level of pettiness I can get behind.
The details about your dad being appalled over the coffee order describes exactly the person my FIL is. He is a man of principles & tradition so he takes any deviation from that as a personal insult. Last summer, a fellow church parishioner had the nerve to wear a baby blue suit coat to mass & we have had to hear about it almost daily ever since. His pants were black & that is always a detail to the story. I can't tell what relevance it has though but he definitely didn't approve. You can imagine how it went over when my partner came out of the closet a few years ago but after his initial come-apart, he's actually shocked with how accepting he has been to me.
I'm intrigued by this snow removal & can see how it would be a hot discussion. Is there drama over it, like someone blowing it into someone else's yard or someone not pulling their weight? Or are they just discussing the cost?
I also want deets on the 80 yr old. How old is the handyman? Who made the first move?
I don't know how to link to a comment I just made above, so here is what I know:
While chatting it up on the beach with the resident gossip the next day, I was able to learn that the handyman is also a condo owner but recently accepted the role to make ends meet after he retired early & then gambled away his savings. He is around 47 years old, was part of their little snowbird dinners & friends with the president's husband.
Husband is semi-wealthy & there's a prenup in place with a clause for an affair but handyman didn't know this so he thought he would be able to steal the wife & her part of the money. I think the last part is pure speculation on their part but does seem plausible due to the age difference. As an avid true crime connoisseur, I was just glad he didn't try to off the guy but maybe that would have been step 2 had they not been caught. 🤷♀️😂
Juicy
“Juicy” is not one of the words I would use to describe that situation.
https://preview.redd.it/7ufh7br38p8g1.jpeg?width=2352&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=44961b507351a84c7b07e990063357399d19a2ae
Hahaha this so funny to me. I bartended on Amelia Island (East coast of Florida) and the cute lil old couples would come up and drink their martinis. And sure as rain start bitching about their insurance. Or HOA. And even worse when they themselves were the HOA.
have you, by chance, ever listened to the podcast normal gossip? if not, i think you’d like it.
I have not but I think you might have nailed this suggestion. I'll be firing that up on the way to work in the morning. Thanks!
I'm assuming Florida where all major insurance companies have either pulled out or raised rates to absurd 'only a dumbass would pay this' rates.
Damn that is early dinner must be a beach thing
That’s life conforming to the early bird special.
It's a beach town so during peak months, they like to eat before the masses overtake the restaurants.
I got so invested in that story and now I’m disappointed by proxy! How old was the handyman?????? Did she pay him extra, you know, under the table? With the HOA fees????
He's around 47. I did ask the gossipy lady about that, which is when she told me how the affair was discovered through emails. Evidently the president told the board the price the handyman quoted for a particular job outside his typical scope of responsibilities. The board felt like it was too high & asked her for a quote breakdown to review. She promised to have it at the next meeting.
They had some family stuff going on at the time & she was going to be running late to the meeting so the husband thought he was doing her a favor by logging into her email to print out the quote. That's when he discovered the affair.
The handyman was new to the job so she didn't have the opportunity to overpay him yet because it was discovered so soon. Had the affair continued she likely could have tried to funnel HOA money to him but it's unlikely she would have been successful since the board keeps a tight handle on the books. The books are their hobby & lifeblood so she probably couldn't have spent $20 without being questioned.
I do know that she did give the handyman a substantial amount of money (rumor is around $75-$100k) from her & her husbands joint personal accounts. They have fuck you money so he didn't notice it missing at the time. He only saw it after he discovered the affair & went to digging into their finances in detail with his lawyer & accountant.
But they kept the handyman? Inquiring minds...
He's no longer a handyman but as of Thanksgiving, he still did live there. If he's as broke as the rumors say, he'll likey end up losing that place pretty quickly.
We need receipts! Proof! Timelines!
Timeline: Approximately 4 months before they got caught. The husband found emails between them when he went into her account to find the quote handyman had given on landscaping or something like that.
Proof: No, thank you. I love the gossip but I don't want to see pictures of this shit so I'm not asking for that.
Screenshots! Fucking everything!
This was an entertaining read. Thank you.
You gotta figure that an insurance company would assume the home won’t survive the length of a 30-year mortgage.
Texas is also one of the four or five most expensive states for homeowners insurance.
I’m going to do a rough calculation here…
But it looks like the average premium in Texas is ~$4,500 and the average home in Texas is around $350,000.
That’s obviously mostly calculated on normal homes not on the coast, let alone ON the water.
So you roughly multiply that by 10 to start and you’re looking at around $45k for a $3.5mm home.
Add on the fact that it’s not just waterfront, but for all intents and purposes an island with a roof, you gotta figure to properly insure the place you’re looking around $100k a year. I can’t imagine it being any cheaper.
So all-in, you’re basically paying the full value of the home in insurance over that 30 year mortgage term.
Assuming you get the house for $3.5mm…
Your property taxes are $43,575 a year (LOL)
If your homeowners is $100,000 a year…
If you put 10% down and finance the remaining $3.15mm…
Your monthly payment is $32,122.44.
You’re paying a total of $11,207,078.41 for the house including insurance and interest and property tax…
$11mm+++ for a home that likely won’t survive the length of the mortgage.
I’d say they’re going to have trouble selling it, but there’s a lot of morons in Texas…
This is all assuming the insurance isn’t drastically more than a hundy K a year and you’d even get insured in the first place.
It also assumes your property taxes won’t skyrocket when Texas needs to save itself from insolvency in a decade and that insurance won’t double or triple in 10 or 20 years.
So I guess best case is you have a 30 year rental home on the water for $11.2 Million.
Oh, also all the local high school you’d be sending your kid to if you go public is ranked 11,394 in the nation.
Everything truly is bigger in Texas.
It's already been up for over 20.
Your completely making this multiplier up
The property taxes are on the Zillow link. And again, you've multiplied them by over 10 based on vibes.
More vibes based multiplication, but this time vaguely in the future so not counted as part of the "math"
Who upvotes this shit?? Is there a r/theydidntdothemath for OP to go to?
That's what I'm trying to figure out
Most people this rich are self insured
7/10 Too much water!
Low fire insurance 🤷🏼♂️
Anyone with young kids would never know a moments peace.
And that is why kids in the Netherlands (loads of water everywhere and very little fencing) have to swim in clothing (with shoes on) to pass their swimming tests. The initial level is just long sleeve shirt, pants, and shoes. In the higher level, you have to swim with your coat on too.
That's actually really cool!
I see in movies and video games (RPGs where you've got 30 tons of crap in your backpack, especially) all the time, people are just straight up swim racing while their boots are full of water and their poofy winter coat are drenched.
It’s taught in schools in the US too (I am an aquatics PE teacher) but it varies by state due to state funding and proximity to water. With that being said I have not seen swimming in clothes or a coat so I may bring that up as something we should consider adding to our program, thank you!
We had swimming classes in middle school since we had a pool. One of the things we learned was how to swim with clothing on. They made us bring in pants and a long sleeve button up shirt. We learned how to take them both off and turn them into flotation devices.
Have them wear life vests from getting up to getting in bed. And teach them how to blow the attached emergency whistle. Tell them not to feed the piranhas or alligators, and to call you if they see sharks or anacondas swimming nearby.
Okay, so it was built in 2005. First listed for sale 2009. Over the years it's been repeatedly listed for sale, only to have the listing removed. I wonder what the story is there...
There are multiple houses like this near me, and I bet they are so cold, among all the other issues people have listed here.
Yes, I've heard from people who live on houseboats how cold they always are. For us humans, temps a bit above freezing combined with high humidity are the most miserable. The cold creeps into your bones. 🥶
Water conducts heat 20x as efficiently as air!
I'll take cold over hot any day. Considering this is in Texas, this sounds like a plus to me!
They are asking too much! It’s been on and off the market for years. Really the most valuable part is the 6ish waterfront acres it comes with.
The concrete bulkhead and floating dock themselves are expensive as well. It’s just that the resale value isn’t there because most people who can afford those kinds of improvements aren’t looking for this type of property for personal use.
Maybe it's listing.
Someone drives by in a speedboat and you've got a window open and you room.gets full of water
That's too close to the lake. No privacy at all
One drunk boater falls out and they are in your living room. I love the water but fuck that
One drunk homeowner stumbles off their porch…
Beautiful, but how can that possibly be to code? It would be terrifying staying there with a toddler.
Texas.
I guess it would be terrifying staying there with a texas too
Toddler, dog, adult with allergies….its a complete nightmare all around to me
Imagine the Murdaugh family living around this house. Yikes!
I'd be worry about the wildlife inviting themselves to dinner too. Ducks and geese flying in, mosquitoes swarms nonstop.
I'm certain no one is allowed to have fun on that lake. There are series of "concerned neibhors" always watching out their window just ready to complain about something.
A relative of mine had private beach access, which we had to use. Within 5 minutes some "beach security" probably a concerned neibhor started drilling us on who we are and how we got here. We told them who and what house and he stormed off and said well we will see about that. The last time we went and took a walk again we spotted two of the houses someone was staring at us through binoculars.
I can only imagine those gated communities or anywhere nice are more like little prisons. HOA rules, everyone has a ring door bell. Everyone narcing on eachother over petty bullshit like parking spaces, or dogs pooping in eachothers lawn.
Well, how else would you entertain yourself if you lived in a quiet lake with only a handful of neighbors with nothing else to do?
When you put it that way it’s give voyeur vibes lol
At least the plumbing is straightforward.
Bigger concern for someone driving their jetski or motor boat into your house. Not like there’s any lanes or roads, and one distracted drunk driver is all it takes.
how is the sewer system functioning, or do I even want to know ?
I'm dying to know what the foundation setup looks like, I'm assuming they have a pier and beam setup but I've never seen them done in the water for a residential property
these people must have a shitload of fuck you money
Houseboats are a common thing out here in Seattle, I had a similar question and a guy I knew explained it pretty plainly- flexible pipe. That’s it. That’s the whole fix pretty much.
Probably a septic tank rather than public sewer, although not sure where it would be. Underwater storage seems like a disaster waiting to happen.
Waste water is pumped to the septic tank on land. I live in that area and there are a few homes set up like this on the lake.
There's no way I don't just go to the veranda and pee every morning.
I wonder if they are underwater on their mortgage.
Hey just doing anything they can to stay afloat
3.5 million and they couldn’t afford any dry land!
the history is a joke
https://preview.redd.it/xe7vwrl62o8g1.png?width=1151&format=png&auto=webp&s=ccba7a83ccbbe3c8b19607da2ace141cb40521a9
Wow. That's incredibly re... diculous. Side note, can someone point me to the nearest planet where housing is treated as a means of shelter and not an investment opportunity. Thanks.
assessed at 1.4 lol
up for 1.2 in 2015-2016 then 2 months later at 2m
me thinks they cant afford it and air bnb it out and probably do drugs based on the listing history
it just doesn't add up, like 3.9 to 3.5 in three months
I know for a fact since this house was built or last updated in 2005, that its for sure not a fully sealed house. It's a black mold paradise.
Or at least get a fucking yacht or big boat and live on it, I am not a big fan of a boat but not very mobile.
In the listing it is mentioned as a boathouse. I think they never got around to building the main house
My parents have a floating house like this. It’s a vacation property. The lake they are on has hundreds of floating houses and the marinas are all large buildings on floating platforms, too. It floats on a platform supported by encapsulated styrofoam. It can handle waves and does not flood, it rises and falls with water levels. The plumbing is similar to a boat with marine toilets and a holding tank. Power is connected to shore via underwater cables. They have advanced water filtration that enables them to get drinkable water directly from the lake. Mortgages and insurance can be tricky, but in places where these houses are common there are some community banks and small insurance companies that will underwrite you. It’s super cool and definitely isn’t weird once you see it irl!
Are they often this big as well? How would a sprawling house float and not start to accumulate a bunch of stress fractures? On this particular house we can see a space between the structure and the water, so I'm skeptical. But the only floating properties (all commercial) I’ve seen exist on a barge like structure. What does the base look like on the ones you've seen?
This one is bigger than any of the houses I’ve been to, but it’s smaller than the marina buildings on the lake, which often have full offices and restaurants! My parents house is a 3 bed, 2 bath with a large living room and kitchen, plus a second story loft, maybe 1800 square feet of living space if I had to guess. I’m not really sure how there aren’t stress fractures honestly, but the construction is built for this purpose. The interior is finished with drywall and there are no cracks! The platform the house is on is basically a big wooden dock (the marina buildings often have concrete platforms) and then each of the floats are about 3 feet by five feet in size and spaced a foot or so apart, under the whole house. It basically results in the house floating 6-24” above water. My dad likes ours to float a little higher so he added extra floats underneath when they bought it. I don’t wanna dox myself but here’s a pic where you can see the float system, our house sitting higher than what I’d say is average height above the water for other houses near them.
https://preview.redd.it/5u20mtbskr8g1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef41b055ba64f32b2fa1c3f15918a977df182b95
Nothing like having your house on the lake directly in front of all your neighbors’ properties, with tons of windows…
this stresses me out
You can’t park there…literally
It has a detached 3-car garage on the land, including a work shop and guest apartment, with a walkway between the garage and house.
But how do you have to walk from your car to the house? Such an inconvenience.
Especially when your house is sinking and you need to get your shit out fast!
Use a golf cart like all of us.
They parked the jetskis just fine.
certain seasons it becomes a 1 1/2 story house
There's a reason the home theatre/electronics are on the upper story
More like a 1 1/2 story drop from the front door. Knowing how empty Lake Travis in Austin can get, idk how this can exist when the lakes are dry
What's the flood insurance policies looking like?
Might not be bad if it’s floating
The walkway to it does look like it is hinged, so it's probably floating. I guess power and water come in along that walkway?
Surprisingly, it's in a minimal flood zone. Tyler is midway between Dallas and Shreveport, not along the gulf. But, still, no, this is not a good idea.
i'm confused. is this a boathouse? the ad refers to a stone retaining wall, and says build a house or live in the boathouse. so are the photos of the boathouse?????
EDIT: and if the house is the boathouse, why does it sit so low? it looks like the floor level is inches from the water. One boat speeding by, or a windy day, and the lake will be in your house!
It looks like that’s the only house currently, but the property has 9.5 acres on land so you can build another house if you for some reason prefer to not be flooded out of bed every time an asshole in a speedboat goes by.
Thank god, I thought this is nuts paying 3.5 mil for a boat house, one has to be really crazy.
From what I can tell, there's this big boathouse, and then there's a 3-car garage on land, and that's it. There appears to be a big cleared space on the property to build a large main residence, but it's like all the resources went into the boathouse instead.
strange. definitely qualifies for zillowgonewild!
Dude really said, "I don't EVER want to have to cut the grass again," and made it happen.
He's gonna have new problems, but he doesn't have to cut the grass.
I didn't see this angle but I'm starting to see the appeal.
https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/15996-Eastside-Rd-Tyler-TX-75707/52293204_zpid/?utm_campaign=androidappmessage&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=txtshare
As a parent of two toddlers this gives me hives
That just seems like a stupid waste of money. You could have built that 100 feet away on the shore and not had to deal with the inevitable issues that this will experience.
Waterfront, back, side property.
I would never get a good nights sleep there 😂
Nice post op. That is wild.
Thanks I was so happy when I found it!
I hope that building is on a pontoon system of some sort. Otherwise it one heavy rain away from destruction.
Nah this is on Lake Tyler in Texas which is a man-made lake acting as a water reservoir. There's a dam so they would control the max height of the water and anything more goes into a spillway, that's why they can build there like that.
I see. But it’s still counting on a lot of things to work properly and there’s no guarantee that the army corps or whoever manages it won’t raise the water level in an emergency flooding situation.
Also I feel like the invention of wake boats while a bad thing in general, is particularly bad for this house and others like it.
How do you side it?
Who has this kind of money in Tyler? Local counsel patent lawyers?
Tyler isn’t that far from DFW and Austin. That’s why it’s just a garage and a fancy boathouse. This was some rich person’s fishing spot
This is in TX, the annual property tax is almost $20k.
I don't trust like that
Some shit I would build in Minecraft lol
No shots of the basement?
Gotta book an in person tour, serious buyers only
Insurance Company: Your monthly quote is $140,000
Homeowner: Wait, what? Did you mean $14,000?
Insurance Company: No
https://preview.redd.it/uz9p6e6axo8g1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=95e5908b97706004a54ceca7821b396cf65d2f20
The house isn’t even built on the property…
Lovely in theory, terrible in practice. Plus the constant lake water smell……no.
The bugs! Good lord could you imagine how bad they’d be on a still summer night
Not waterfront. Its literally in the water.
Gotta love creativity like this though. That’d be such a fun Airbnb weekend getaway
This is wild- so many questions
Someone took boathouse a little too literally.
This is an absurd nightmare. I wouldn’t have anything but patio furniture inside, just in case of boat wakes, storm waves, or God knows what else.
3.9 mill and no seawall in TX lmao
I wish they'd show the engineering that went into this type of project so many questions.
Venice wasn't built in a day
Finally a mansion where I don’t have to mow my fucking lawn.
"The estate includes a 5,811 sq ft under roof high-end boathouse designed for luxurious living and entertaining—featuring covered porches and balcony, an outdoor spa, 3 boat garages, a floating dock, and upscale finishes throughout. Plus, enjoy a 1,760 sq ft heated and cooled 3-car garage and workshop with ADA-compliant guest quarters—totaling 7,470 sq ft under roof perfect for guests or income."
a 7.5k sq ft boathouse you guys
This thing gives me the heebie jeebies
Landscaping budget is near zero. /s
Ooh, the constant damp, the mildew. How could I resist?
There's always a horrifically decorated "home theater "
Wow. They absolutely ruined that beach view.
I wouldn't have even included that picture in the listing. Four sad chairs staring out in to the water being blocked by this dumb house.
I genuinely thought this was a picture of flood damage. Took me a second to figure out this was intentionally built that way.
I know who built this house, the original owner and I have stayed there before. It’s beautiful. It was meant to be a lake house with a bigger house built on the land behind.
As I see posts similar to this, I think large portions of Texas are just Florida West.
I wonder what that smells like