The kid read the room, and he was spot on. Dad walks by and says "I'm glad we got that out of the way.” They were all thinking it, and he was the one who said it. Nothing inappropriate about saying what everybody's feeling.
There’s a psychological concept called the identified patient. This is a person in a family that feels the anxieties, fears, and neuroses that live within that family, then go on to manifest those feelings in specific actions. This kid is feeling these feelings from everyone and is expressing what everyone else won’t.
That could end up with the kid being “othered” by the family in one way or another; becoming a golden child or a black sheep. You can kind of see it happening already when the mom says “he’s my spirit child,” implying he’s of a higher caliber than the other kids.
Just wanted to point out that there is a reason for something like this to happen to specific children.
Looking into this concept has actually helped me a lot, you should do some research on it if you identify with it. I’ve struggled with people pleasing tendencies my whole life and identifying that aspect of my childhood has helped me understand why.
Yeah. I'm generally a people pleaser too. It's so incredibly hard and jarring to be rude because I imagine everything that could be felt by my actions
I currently avoid all contact with my family. I could talk to a few family members, but they inevitably try to get me to apologize to the people who gaslight me about my childhood. They're controlling alcoholics, so it's impossible to have a logical argument. They'll say I remember things wrong because I was young, or that I'm making things up that they can't remember at all. Makes me feel absolutely nuts.
I always wonder how much easier my life could be if I was capable of regularly being a jerk.
Wow, I feel like we lived very similar childhoods 😩
I have that same thought too, what would my life be like if I only focused on myself. I actually don’t think I’d be any happier because I do get joy out of helping other people, I just need to learn to do that and not overextend myself
Naw. I think just avoiding unpleasantness over speaking truth becoming normalized is wrong. Less children should be taught this "behaviour".
Kid and Mom are spot on
I mean look at the mom's initial reaction. Sure she was strong and bounced back. But I'm general, teaching your kid to avoid topics that might hurt other people will help them in the long run. E.g. kid shouldnt call people fat and ugly even though it might be true
Well yea... but they learn through being corrected. You can tell a very big difference between polite kids and kids whose parents don't even try to teach any manners
So I know the mother of Henry. The pregnant woman is actually Henry’s Aunt. And I’m happy to report she just had the baby and it’s doing well. And Henry continues to unironically make the family laugh
I have a more random story about this, so I had seen this video on Reddit back in October. My friend and I went to her hometown and I was having dinner with her childhood friends. The childhood friend starts telling me a story about how her son had recently gone viral, as soon as she said my son said “I hope it doesn’t die this time” I was wheezing laughing. She goes on to tell stories about all of the hilarious things Henry says and we now keep in touch over IG. The world is small man
How precious this family is. To understand the way her nephew (I assume) was just stating facts, feelings and hopes. She could have crumbled on hearing that but instead felt the raw love and expressed it back.
I’m not one for giving ‘thoughts and prayers’, but I totally wish these guys well x
Kids really just speak so plainly and I think it’s a shame sometimes that we kind of curb that as adults and step around the things that people actually probably desperately need someone to discuss these challenging topics with. Losing a child in any capacity is an unquestionable tragedy and that Mom handled this moment so perfectly with love.
My daughter passed away a couple weeks ago. She was medically fragile and we spent a lot of time driving back and forth from the hospital where she spent 17mo. The drive is 2hrs. When I told my oldest, who is 6, that his sister passed away, one of the first things he said was “at least we don’t have to go to the hospital anymore!” It really broke my heart because it showed me how much everything really affected him. We have grief therapy set up for us next week.
it's rough on the other kid(s) when one is super sick, so much so there's even a term for them - glass children, because they feel invisible. sorry about your daughter </3
I was a glass child, but it was technically my choice in the matter. I realized at a young age that my older brother was quite a challenge for my single mom (but that's another story.) I made the rather poor choice to stay in my room pretty much 24/7, only coming out to eat, bathe, and go to school. I only found out in high-school (close to a decade ago) how much it negatively effected my relationship with my mom and brother. We're still working through it all together and we are all in therapy for this among other reasons.
If you took the time to read, thank you.
TLDR, I was a glass child by my own poor choice, but I'm doing better.
Looking for a positive in awful situations is something that isn't always appreciated and sometimes can be misunderstood.
I'm glad you understood your 6 yo. It's anxiety, it's sadness and it's probably not even something conscious. Looking for a good thing in the midst of the bad is just how some of us cope and can live trough the next moments.
I'm so sorry you're all going through this though. I really hope your heart can carry your daughter with you and leave the pain behind day by day.
It seemed pretty obvious that the kid was just saying his true thoughts. Ya know, kids say the darndest things. He seemed a bit surprised at people's reactions, he didn't expect it to get a laugh.
Hahaha yeah, I remember saying after my 5th surgery at 7 years old that I would rather die then go back to a doctor again for another vivisection (not my words at the time but the context is correct). My parents laughed and forced another 8 surgeries on me including cosmetic surgery before the age of 13.
I found out in my early 20s that my mother had a miscarriage from a myopic birth that had worse genetic issues than me.
Funny how now that I'm older and believe in antinatalism, specifically because of my families lack of support after knowing I would be fucked up for life before pregnancy.
Once I found out about the basically harlequin baby my mother had before me .. well I had some very choice words for her creating life that is nothing but pain.... ....
I'm an artist so I still try and see the beauty in life/death. I have found a better "family" that actually gives a shit about me. So things are better. And on the plus side when you're in constant pain it eventually kinda goes numb, as your new baseline.
I would like to switch bodies with someone who is In peak health just so that I could compare what is normal and not. Like I once stepped on a nail that went all the way through my foot. Had to get tetanus etc etc.. the nail in my foot didn't hurt. Seeing the needles they used to numb my foot cause a vegal vegus responce and I had a seizure.
Been on this planet for 40 years, and hopefully another 40.
I do know chronic pain quite well, doubt anywhere near as much as you, but I still wear a low dose bupe patch (10mcg/hr) now that I've... Broken the joint in. Now it's time for it to break down, haha. Also had a major seizure from the meds at the time. Weird parallels, in type if not degree
Ok nowhere even fuckin near you given the nail thing. Even so, I can sympathize somewhat and once knew the feeling of being pain (and opioid free.)
The difference is... Well it's not something easy to put into words. I wish I could, but there's little point in trying to stuff subjective feeling into words. It wouldn't be all that subjective otherwise, all things considered.
It's like comparing a new mazda to a poorly maintained ford. Both get you around, but only one is shaking itself apart
No filter is one really strong route into comedy, look at Dave Atell, Anthony Jeselnik, Sara Silverman, and Dave Chappel. It sure as hell beats dysfunctional emotionally abusive family as the entry point.
I've seen this a few times and am impressed by the dynamic every time. I'm sure that hurt the mom but at the same time, what a clearly very loving family. That kid said that because he grew up in a safe space not having to worry about being in trouble for saying the wrong thing by accident.
You can see how much it hurt in her expression just before she turns around—and traces of it when she goes to comfort him. That is an emotionally strong woman right there, who has a lot of love for Henry.
As someone who had four pregnancy losses, he put into words what she has been thinking since day one. Whether he "should have" said those words out loud or not is up for debate, but for me, it got to the point where I was taking bets with my friends to "see how long this one lasts" sigh
This is the first time I’ve seen the whole clip and I feel like it was handled perfectly by everyone involved. The kid is cracking wise but you can tell that whatever happened before (miscarriage, I assume) affected him and he’s actually being sincere. Great job by the adults to recognize that and show love instead of scolding him.
As weird as it sounds, I have a funny miscarriage story.
My third pregnancy, I went to my twelve-week midwife appointment and the midwife couldn't hear the baby's heartbeat. She assured me that it might just be a positioning thing, but recommended I go for a scan just to see. Obviously I was worried. I called my husband and he brought the kids and rushed us all to the ultrasound place.
It might seem weird to bring the kids, but we didn't really have anywhere to drop them at short notice, and we'd always been very open with them about the pregnancy. We briefed them in the car and prayed - they were a little concerned, but not really upset, small children being callous creatures.
We had the scan, and it was a trainee technician on her first day. I remember feeling bad for her, having to deal with that situation. She scanned me, there was no heartbeat, she gave me the news, I started crying.
Whereupon my curly-headed two-year-old son said "Is the baby dead, Mummy?"
I said "Yes, sweetie, the baby died."
And he said sympathetically "Oh. Did somebody shot him?"
... Anyway, the miscarriage was pretty traumatic and I ended up in therapy and still cry about it sometimes, but seeing the poor newbie technician trying to maintain a look of respectful, compassionate professionalism was hilarious.
When my son was born he had to be on oxigen for 24 hrs to give his lungs a little boost. While now I can tell it wasn't a big deal, as first time parents I've never been more scared. My niece of 6 came up to the hospital with her mom to see him and looking down at my son said: " I hope he doesn't die". Her mom was mortified and I looked at my niece and said: "Thanks you! I hope the same." While morbid she was just passing her well wishes in the fashion of a 6yr old.
(I'm the oldest of 3) My mom had like 5 miscarriages as I was growing up and she never let me see the pain it caused her, so growing up I thought they were super common and not a not a big deal. It want until I was an adult and a friend had one that I realized they're super traumatic.
And what sucks is that the kids obviously didn’t realise that what he said and the way he said it might not be super appropriate or that it might hurt her feelings. He probably said that because he genuinely wanted it to happen and thought that it was the ‘right’ thing to say.
Cringey funny in the shocking ‘did that really just happen’ way, esp for the older brother’s reaction, but that’s a super mom for handling it like a pro.
I kinda was guessing by 'spirit child' at the end maybe the boys are the nephews of the pregnant lady? The kids of the lady in red the camera pans to at the end, perhaps?
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Mom handled it super well. Acknowledging, not getting upset at the kid, then comforting the kid, letting him know that it's ok.
Yeah, handled it extremely well
Unlike her last baby.
Holy shit, this made me spill out my breakfast milk
My dinner milk spilled too!
You're a comedic relief
True, but I hope at a later time she explained to him why it wasn't appropriate to say
The kid read the room, and he was spot on. Dad walks by and says "I'm glad we got that out of the way.” They were all thinking it, and he was the one who said it. Nothing inappropriate about saying what everybody's feeling.
No, kids are just dumb, he didn’t “read the room”
Shoot, I’m still dumb and I’m 36
If anything I think I just keep getting dumber as I get older
i dont think thats what happened dude
If everyone is thinking it, it doesn't need to be said.
Kids famously think logically and are adept at navigating complex social environments.
What are you talking about? They watched someone hit an inflatable clown and then decided hitting people was okay.
My guy, that comment was entirely satire making fun of the guy they were replying to.
You can tell because we all know that kids aren't logical and they all have a hard time navigating complex social situations. That's why it's funny.
Well I'm just an idiot and thanks for clarifying!
🙂
Thanks!
There’s a psychological concept called the identified patient. This is a person in a family that feels the anxieties, fears, and neuroses that live within that family, then go on to manifest those feelings in specific actions. This kid is feeling these feelings from everyone and is expressing what everyone else won’t.
That could end up with the kid being “othered” by the family in one way or another; becoming a golden child or a black sheep. You can kind of see it happening already when the mom says “he’s my spirit child,” implying he’s of a higher caliber than the other kids.
Just wanted to point out that there is a reason for something like this to happen to specific children.
Wow that sounds like me growing. I was the golden child and now the black sheep.
Looking into this concept has actually helped me a lot, you should do some research on it if you identify with it. I’ve struggled with people pleasing tendencies my whole life and identifying that aspect of my childhood has helped me understand why.
Yeah. I'm generally a people pleaser too. It's so incredibly hard and jarring to be rude because I imagine everything that could be felt by my actions
I currently avoid all contact with my family. I could talk to a few family members, but they inevitably try to get me to apologize to the people who gaslight me about my childhood. They're controlling alcoholics, so it's impossible to have a logical argument. They'll say I remember things wrong because I was young, or that I'm making things up that they can't remember at all. Makes me feel absolutely nuts.
I always wonder how much easier my life could be if I was capable of regularly being a jerk.
Wow, I feel like we lived very similar childhoods 😩
I have that same thought too, what would my life be like if I only focused on myself. I actually don’t think I’d be any happier because I do get joy out of helping other people, I just need to learn to do that and not overextend myself
Yeah... Bottle that shit up and shove it down as deep as you can! /s
Naw. I think just avoiding unpleasantness over speaking truth becoming normalized is wrong. Less children should be taught this "behaviour". Kid and Mom are spot on
I mean look at the mom's initial reaction. Sure she was strong and bounced back. But I'm general, teaching your kid to avoid topics that might hurt other people will help them in the long run. E.g. kid shouldnt call people fat and ugly even though it might be true
He’s still so little. Honesty first then discretion.
Discretion without a foundation of honestly is scary because you don’t know what’s going on.
Have you met a kid. Up until they are about 8, It just word vomit. It’s helpful buuuut also kids man.
Well yea... but they learn through being corrected. You can tell a very big difference between polite kids and kids whose parents don't even try to teach any manners
There's a difference between necessary unpleasant conversations and joking about someone's miscarriage.
Do you tend to talk about other people's rapes to them casually? Or is there a less edgy take like learn how to understand nuance and tact?
So I know the mother of Henry. The pregnant woman is actually Henry’s Aunt. And I’m happy to report she just had the baby and it’s doing well. And Henry continues to unironically make the family laugh
aww that's nice
Weird to see op receiving and update about a random family they posted from someone who actually knows them.
I have a more random story about this, so I had seen this video on Reddit back in October. My friend and I went to her hometown and I was having dinner with her childhood friends. The childhood friend starts telling me a story about how her son had recently gone viral, as soon as she said my son said “I hope it doesn’t die this time” I was wheezing laughing. She goes on to tell stories about all of the hilarious things Henry says and we now keep in touch over IG. The world is small man
It's nice of you to expand on this persons lore for the masses.
well i never claimed the video is OC, i saw it and thought it belonged in this sub
YAY!!!!!!
Is Henry a Sagittarius?
The more times I watch it the, the more I am just awed at how gracefully she dealt with that situation.
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They literally used his name in the original TikTok?
Did you watch the video?
It was muted, I am a fool lol
I remember seeing this video but it was cut the moment she turned around.
Glad to know it wasn't the child triggering some ptsd episode after the last miscarriage.
How precious this family is. To understand the way her nephew (I assume) was just stating facts, feelings and hopes. She could have crumbled on hearing that but instead felt the raw love and expressed it back.
I’m not one for giving ‘thoughts and prayers’, but I totally wish these guys well x
Kids really just speak so plainly and I think it’s a shame sometimes that we kind of curb that as adults and step around the things that people actually probably desperately need someone to discuss these challenging topics with. Losing a child in any capacity is an unquestionable tragedy and that Mom handled this moment so perfectly with love.
[deleted]
No it’s her nephew. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8UPSfdF/
Older brothers reaction is killing me lmao
I suspect this is not comedy.
Kid was probably very affected by the death of a prior pregnancy and his immediate reaction is honesty triggered by anxiety.
My daughter passed away a couple weeks ago. She was medically fragile and we spent a lot of time driving back and forth from the hospital where she spent 17mo. The drive is 2hrs. When I told my oldest, who is 6, that his sister passed away, one of the first things he said was “at least we don’t have to go to the hospital anymore!” It really broke my heart because it showed me how much everything really affected him. We have grief therapy set up for us next week.
I am sorry for your loss. All the strength to you family
I’m sorry for your loss.
May you and your family be able to find some peace in a such a difficult time. Much love from a reddit stranger.
Giant internet hug coming your way.
Sending you love.
it's rough on the other kid(s) when one is super sick, so much so there's even a term for them - glass children, because they feel invisible. sorry about your daughter </3
I was a glass child, but it was technically my choice in the matter. I realized at a young age that my older brother was quite a challenge for my single mom (but that's another story.) I made the rather poor choice to stay in my room pretty much 24/7, only coming out to eat, bathe, and go to school. I only found out in high-school (close to a decade ago) how much it negatively effected my relationship with my mom and brother. We're still working through it all together and we are all in therapy for this among other reasons.
If you took the time to read, thank you.
TLDR, I was a glass child by my own poor choice, but I'm doing better.
You are an awesome parent
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your family can find peace.
Wow, this hit me like a ton of bricks. Take care of him, take care of yourself. Love and strength
Looking for a positive in awful situations is something that isn't always appreciated and sometimes can be misunderstood.
I'm glad you understood your 6 yo. It's anxiety, it's sadness and it's probably not even something conscious. Looking for a good thing in the midst of the bad is just how some of us cope and can live trough the next moments.
I'm so sorry you're all going through this though. I really hope your heart can carry your daughter with you and leave the pain behind day by day.
It seemed pretty obvious that the kid was just saying his true thoughts. Ya know, kids say the darndest things. He seemed a bit surprised at people's reactions, he didn't expect it to get a laugh.
Hahaha yeah, I remember saying after my 5th surgery at 7 years old that I would rather die then go back to a doctor again for another vivisection (not my words at the time but the context is correct). My parents laughed and forced another 8 surgeries on me including cosmetic surgery before the age of 13.
I found out in my early 20s that my mother had a miscarriage from a myopic birth that had worse genetic issues than me.
Funny how now that I'm older and believe in antinatalism, specifically because of my families lack of support after knowing I would be fucked up for life before pregnancy.
Once I found out about the basically harlequin baby my mother had before me .. well I had some very choice words for her creating life that is nothing but pain.... ....
Fml.
Jesus Christ buddy. That was... A rough read.
Hope things improve
I also support a quasi anti-natalist view. Not sure what the exact term would be, but nonetheless, it's close enough
Thanks brother/sister.
Life is a bitch, then you die.
I'm an artist so I still try and see the beauty in life/death. I have found a better "family" that actually gives a shit about me. So things are better. And on the plus side when you're in constant pain it eventually kinda goes numb, as your new baseline.
I would like to switch bodies with someone who is In peak health just so that I could compare what is normal and not. Like I once stepped on a nail that went all the way through my foot. Had to get tetanus etc etc.. the nail in my foot didn't hurt. Seeing the needles they used to numb my foot cause a vegal vegus responce and I had a seizure.
Been on this planet for 40 years, and hopefully another 40.
I do know chronic pain quite well, doubt anywhere near as much as you, but I still wear a low dose bupe patch (10mcg/hr) now that I've... Broken the joint in. Now it's time for it to break down, haha. Also had a major seizure from the meds at the time. Weird parallels, in type if not degree
Ok nowhere even fuckin near you given the nail thing. Even so, I can sympathize somewhat and once knew the feeling of being pain (and opioid free.)
The difference is... Well it's not something easy to put into words. I wish I could, but there's little point in trying to stuff subjective feeling into words. It wouldn't be all that subjective otherwise, all things considered.
It's like comparing a new mazda to a poorly maintained ford. Both get you around, but only one is shaking itself apart
Or, it could be, he's just a no filters comedian.
Growing up (and still today) I was always the comedian--pushing limits constantly.
He's just honest, like kids are. Expressing his emotions without filters.
Kids really do say the darndest things.
No filter is one really strong route into comedy, look at Dave Atell, Anthony Jeselnik, Sara Silverman, and Dave Chappel. It sure as hell beats dysfunctional emotionally abusive family as the entry point.
So many great comics today are finally escaping political correctness and letting it fly! Jeselnik is one of my favorites.
One of my "fans" gave me a coffee mug. "Of all the pricks I've known, you are the cactus!"
They aren't "escaping political correctness" they are just funny.
Or they escape it because they are funny ? I don't know
I think that's true. You can attack taboos and cross lines others can't when you do it in a truly funny and creative way.
I've seen this a few times and am impressed by the dynamic every time. I'm sure that hurt the mom but at the same time, what a clearly very loving family. That kid said that because he grew up in a safe space not having to worry about being in trouble for saying the wrong thing by accident.
You can see how much it hurt in her expression just before she turns around—and traces of it when she goes to comfort him. That is an emotionally strong woman right there, who has a lot of love for Henry.
As someone who had four pregnancy losses, he put into words what she has been thinking since day one. Whether he "should have" said those words out loud or not is up for debate, but for me, it got to the point where I was taking bets with my friends to "see how long this one lasts" sigh
This is the first time I’ve seen the whole clip and I feel like it was handled perfectly by everyone involved. The kid is cracking wise but you can tell that whatever happened before (miscarriage, I assume) affected him and he’s actually being sincere. Great job by the adults to recognize that and show love instead of scolding him.
Glad it was the whole clip and not the edited down version
As weird as it sounds, I have a funny miscarriage story.
My third pregnancy, I went to my twelve-week midwife appointment and the midwife couldn't hear the baby's heartbeat. She assured me that it might just be a positioning thing, but recommended I go for a scan just to see. Obviously I was worried. I called my husband and he brought the kids and rushed us all to the ultrasound place.
It might seem weird to bring the kids, but we didn't really have anywhere to drop them at short notice, and we'd always been very open with them about the pregnancy. We briefed them in the car and prayed - they were a little concerned, but not really upset, small children being callous creatures.
We had the scan, and it was a trainee technician on her first day. I remember feeling bad for her, having to deal with that situation. She scanned me, there was no heartbeat, she gave me the news, I started crying.
Whereupon my curly-headed two-year-old son said "Is the baby dead, Mummy?"
I said "Yes, sweetie, the baby died."
And he said sympathetically "Oh. Did somebody shot him?"
... Anyway, the miscarriage was pretty traumatic and I ended up in therapy and still cry about it sometimes, but seeing the poor newbie technician trying to maintain a look of respectful, compassionate professionalism was hilarious.
I am so sorry about your miscarriage, but congratulations on your son's future as a comedian.
When my son was born he had to be on oxigen for 24 hrs to give his lungs a little boost. While now I can tell it wasn't a big deal, as first time parents I've never been more scared. My niece of 6 came up to the hospital with her mom to see him and looking down at my son said: " I hope he doesn't die". Her mom was mortified and I looked at my niece and said: "Thanks you! I hope the same." While morbid she was just passing her well wishes in the fashion of a 6yr old.
I mean, he cant be the only person who had that thought. He just said it out loud.
He's having all the appropriate feelings about a traumatic event and wishes for it to not happen again.
All the gears and cogs are working and in the correct place, the only one he's missing is tact and that'll happen over time.
And I think that this is why no one was mad at him for saying what he said.
(I'm the oldest of 3) My mom had like 5 miscarriages as I was growing up and she never let me see the pain it caused her, so growing up I thought they were super common and not a not a big deal. It want until I was an adult and a friend had one that I realized they're super traumatic.
It’s common though, from 25-33 percent of first trimester pregnancies end in a miscarriage.
But even if common, it’s still painful for the women.
I love how the mom doesn’t shame him, but embraces him and his unfiltered nature.
This feels super Mormon
And what sucks is that the kids obviously didn’t realise that what he said and the way he said it might not be super appropriate or that it might hurt her feelings. He probably said that because he genuinely wanted it to happen and thought that it was the ‘right’ thing to say.
It's always the middle child..
I think he might be hoping that he keeps that position.
He is right.
Real talk
great reaction from the family!
This is the exact type of blunt response you can expect from a kid trying to understand a tragedy. This is leagues better than them burying it.
Big bro looked about to rain death on lil bro until mom smiled again.
If the baby is gonna be another Henry you might want it to.
Real
Damn, I would've got the shoe for saying that.
Cringey funny in the shocking ‘did that really just happen’ way, esp for the older brother’s reaction, but that’s a super mom for handling it like a pro.
I don’t think he’s the spirit child, ya know.
Damn, your humor is darker than Henry's lmao
Spirit child?
Seems like a good sentiment
I mean, the sentiment is not a bad one.
I like how he cut through all of the bull shit and said what everyone else was thinking.
"Got that out of the way." 🤣🤣
I know it’s a sensitive subject but that was hilarious.
How many kids do you need? These MFrs earn too much.
I kinda was guessing by 'spirit child' at the end maybe the boys are the nephews of the pregnant lady? The kids of the lady in red the camera pans to at the end, perhaps?