What a beautiful sto……
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  • 303 points ThaBrownie

    So fake, Hippos are herbivores

    parent
    248 points HippoBot9000

    HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 844,919,572 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,438 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

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    2 points Select-Belt-ou812

    good bot

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    1 points Limp_Butterscotch633

    Huh?

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    170 points Revan0360

    Hippos are omnivores. There is plenty of videos online showing they eat a random animal.

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    117 points ElDonKaiza

    And as always the term herbivore is a lie. Every herbivore is an opportunistic carnivore. Seen plenty of vids of cows and horses moose eat small animals. Hippos, however, have large mouths so they can feed on larger animals. They have been documented to feed on animal carcasses much more commonly than most other "herbivores".

    To quite Google: Hippos are primarily herbivorous, meaning they eat only plants, but they have been observed to engage in omnivorous behavior.

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    50 points Angel_OfSolitude

    They are however quite aggressive and known to attack people.

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    58 points SnooCats5701

    Hippos kill approximately 500 people every year.

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    15 points Filthy-lucky-ducky

    Each? Blood thirty fuckers.

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    1 points UnfitToTango

    Each

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    119 points JerryBadThings

    It did not eat him, but it did kill him.

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2011/nov/14/pet-hippo-humphrey-kills-owner

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    12 points pigwalk5150

    The guy also tried to domesticate a rhino! Wtf?!

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    10 points zamantukendi

    His next attempt probably would be a polarbear if hippo didn't kill him

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    3 points HippoBot9000

    HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 856,989,731 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,755 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

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    1 points [deleted]

    Good bot

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    31 points [deleted]

    Most traditionally “herbivores” are actually opportunistic meat eaters.

    There is plenty of video of deer eating a squirrel or bird, etc.

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    1 points Compendyum

    Sure would like to see you try that theory live

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    3 points judyhops95

    So are deer who will eat birds and rabbits....

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    1 points DevilLeos

    Hippos actually do eat meat

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    2 points Limp_Butterscotch633

    The Hippo didn't eat him. He just tore him apart. Apparently, his BFF hippo began puberty and began acting aggressively. He began running away and charging anyone he saw. There was one instance where he tree'd a man and his son. The owner kept making excuses for him and told family and friends that because he raised him from a baby, he would never hurt him. The day he died, he went into the water to feed and play with him as family watched. Within a few moments, the hippo dragged him underneath the water and did his thing.

    Hippopotamuses are killing machines.

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  • 244 points inthedrops

    Hippos are herbivores. So unless that man is a stalk of grass, he was not eaten by his friend.
    Chomped and spit out? Maybe.
    Eaten? Nope.

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    5 points DevilLeos

    Wrong hippos eat grass and meat

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    2 points inthedrops

    Nope.

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    5 points DevilLeos

    Do your research about animals before you post a comment about them they eat meat and grass.

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    2 points inthedrops

    Yawn. Herbivore. Will they nibble a carcass if they come across one and they're hungry? Probably. But that doesn't make them predatory carnivores or even omnivores. They're megaherbivores - grass grazers. Move along.

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    8 points DevilLeos

    Incorrect again they do eat corpses they come across and they do hunt animals exactly the same crocodiles do wait and pounce on unsuspecting prey then eat it. So they are in fact predatory aswell

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    191 points DiscontentedMajority

    Hippos are herbivores, but they are also one of the most aggressive and dangerous animals in the world.

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    56 points inthedrops

    Correct. They're also fast AF on land - 20-30 mph - pretty damned fast considering how big they are. And they're territorial. You do NOT want to fuck with a hippo.

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    2 points DevilLeos

    Nope they eat meat and grass whatever comes near they eat.

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    215 points [deleted]

    [deleted]

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    43 points HippoBot9000

    HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 844,585,343 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,426 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

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    17 points zweiboi

    Good bot

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    6 points B0tRank

    Thank you, zweiboi, for voting on HippoBot9000.

    This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. You can view results here.


    Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!

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    2 points DroppedDesert62_YT

    Good bot

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    3 points ShaggysGTI

    Now what?

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    17 points Warden_Flanders16

    Hippos still eat meat. Most other herbivores do as well.

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    9 points [deleted]

    As has been said 1001 times already on this post, most herbivores are opportunistic carnivores.

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    1 points inthedrops

    A hippo will not eat a human. They might attack a human. Trample them. Run them down. Drown them. Chomp them. But they don't eat them.

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    5 points HippoBot9000

    HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 854,643,019 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,708 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

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    3 points inthedrops

    good bot

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  • 98 points [deleted]

    Probably killed him. Hippos don't eat meat

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    44 points HippoBot9000

    HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 842,884,178 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,388 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

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    40 points CaptainFingerling

    Turns out, they do:

    https://www.reddit.com/r/yesyesyesno/comments/16xiu9y/what_a_beautiful_sto/k34if9j/

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    34 points j33ta

    They do on occasion, just like horses, cows, deer, chickens etc..

    Apparently, nobody has told these animals they are supposed to be strictly herbivores.

    But in this specific case, you would be right.

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    -9 points [deleted]

    That's the same logic as eating poisonous mushrooms. On occasion yea. People do. But their bodies aren't good at handling that.

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    15 points [deleted]

    [deleted]

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    1 points pandaolf

    There was this picture on r/natureismetal where a dear was just eating some bones

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    3 points [deleted]

    As has been said 1002 times already on this post, most herbivores are opportunistic carnivores.

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    -5 points [deleted]

    Yea well I don't scroll through every comment and read them all to decide which one I wanna condescend to. That's a you thing. By the way this is old. Move on.

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  • 1 points feisty-frisco87

    He probably wouldn't get off the hippo's back over something, and it snapped.

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  • 17 points MyLinkedOut

    The original Hungry Hippo

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  • 128 points Patient_Yam4747

    To be fair, it's not a real story

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    44 points idol_empty

    Now I don't feel like an asshole for busting out laughing when I read it.

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    6 points koketso2

    I want it to be real

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    11 points Canotic

    Be the hippo you want to see. Drag someone into a river and eat them.

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    6 points HippoBot9000

    HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 844,236,569 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,415 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

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    5 points Canotic

    What the fuck bot?

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    4 points JerryBadThings

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2011/nov/14/pet-hippo-humphrey-kills-owner

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    7 points JerryBadThings

    It is real-ish.

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2011/nov/14/pet-hippo-humphrey-kills-owner

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    8 points pacosaiso

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2011/nov/14/pet-hippo-humphrey-kills-owner

    So the Guardian is lying, what a surprise

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    21 points Sentinell

    Yes it is: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2011/nov/14/pet-hippo-humphrey-kills-owner

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    5 points Patient_Yam4747

    I meant being eaten. Hippos are absolutely deadly.

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    4 points SnooCats5701

    Nice try at saving your mistake. “It’s not a real story” is not the same a “this one detail is in accurate.”

    Just own up to your BS and move on. You will feel better.

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    -6 points Patient_Yam4747

    A false detail makes an entire story false

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    1 points [deleted]

    What? No it does not.

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    6 points JerryBadThings

    It is a real story, but the caption here is wrong.

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2011/nov/14/pet-hippo-humphrey-kills-owner

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  • 62 points Drahcir_notnik

    Hippos are herbivores only very rarely seen eating small birds and rodents. They don't have the physiology to eat a person. Unless that person is small enough to be swallowed whole. Murdered? Yes. Eaten? No.

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    16 points Nitzelplick

    So, in other words, the hippo killed him because it is a wild animal without the capacity to form long term bonded relationships with other species. It wasn’t petty revenge, or a patient calculated act, but just a hippo responding to a possible threat with brute force. A completely mundane event from the hippos perspective.

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    1 points Drahcir_notnik

    Indeed

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    9 points Mysterious_Andy

    Hippos are herbivores only very rarely seen eating small birds and rodents.

    https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/12/151207164343.htm

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    -1 points [deleted]

    [deleted]

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    3 points Mysterious_Andy

    Bad bot.

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    3 points Drahcir_notnik

    Sweet. The article I found must be older. Well, bon apatite, water horse.

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    2 points JWT-80

    Veggie-saurus, Lex, veggie-saurus!

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  • 61 points Overworked_one

    A hippos gotta eat

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  • 37 points Shutterbug927

    They're hungry, hungry hippos!
    They're hungry, hungry hippos!
    They're hungry, hungry hippos!
    It's time to feed your face,
    They're hungry, hungry hippos!
    They're hungry, hungry hippos!
    They're hungry, hungry hippos!
    They're in an eating race!

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  • 61 points [deleted]

    Little fact check helps;

    -Hippo didn’t eat the man at all

    -The guy repeatedly ignored warnings from experts that hippos could not be domesticated

    -He ignored many red flags about the violent nature of the animal that kept killing calves of his partner, chasing people and attacking others

    -Hippos actually kill more people than lions

    So, he pretty much brought it on himself.

    https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2011/nov/14/pet-hippo-humphrey-kills-owner

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    14 points HippoBot9000

    HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 842,551,108 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,375 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

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    4 points BigManLawrence69420

    King Hippo is a funny character.

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    6 points HippoBot9000

    HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 843,408,957 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,399 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

    parent root
    3 points BigManLawrence69420

    To beat King Hippo, you must punch his face when his mouth is open and then punch him repeatedly in the gut.

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    10 points casssinla

    And he didn't rescue the hippo from a flood. He bought the hippo from someone who rescued it from a flood.

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    7 points HippoBot9000

    HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 842,693,684 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,380 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

    parent root
    4 points [deleted]

    For some reason I feel like a hippo would be the last animal needing rescue from a flood.

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    2 points HippoBot9000

    HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 844,726,773 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,432 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

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  • 46 points slowride77

    Dry aged that beef for 6 years. That takes patience.

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  • 7 points Roamingfree1

    Don't play hungry hungry hippo, with a hippo.

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  • 3 points Akaonisama

    Probably because getting ridden on is demeaning

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  • 6 points PincheCharroSuertudo

    Can't wait to see Disney adaptation

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  • 7 points InflnityBlack

    hippos are violent as fuck, pretty sure I heard on some national geographic documentary that they kill more people every year than crocodiles do, by a fair margin too

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  • 1 points sokocanuck

    The Circle of Life

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  • 1 points RalphTheDog

    Holiday Season is coming soon...

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  • 1 points [deleted]

    yay

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  • 6 points SpaceMead

    Ive got a friend in me The hippo probably

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    3 points HippoBot9000

    HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 845,552,392 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,455 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

    parent root
    1 points SpaceMead

    Good bot

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  • 3 points wolf_of_odin_38

    I have to ask as I cannot find a logical reason, what would make anyone think that any wild animal especially a hippo would never hurt them? He treated the thing like it had human feelings and that is probably why he let his guard down around it. But seriously, why would you put yourself in that situation especially with a huge beastie with mood swing issues?!

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    3 points HedgehogCremepuff

    Human arrogance and anthropomorphising

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  • 2 points Hix_687

    Definitely just chewed up, hippos do not eat meat.

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    2 points HippoBot9000

    HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 846,236,064 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,463 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

    parent root
    2 points [deleted]

    As has been said 1003 times already on this post, most herbivores are opportunistic carnivores. Although in hippos, it's rare, and in this instance, specifically, it's untrue the hippo did not eat the guy.

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  • 1 points Muntu010

    I’m a saffer That’s funny AF Hippos are dangerous mofos 🤣

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  • 1 points DeathCabforSquirrel

    Hippo

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  • 1 points BEG-FOR-MY-MERCY

    Oh

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  • 1 points MimesAreGay

    Don't bite the hand that feeds you.

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  • 3 points test_tickles

    But he was such a cuddle bug!! I wonder what this guy did to cause the hippo to attack him?

    ​

    LOL! /s

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    2 points HippoBot9000

    HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 847,026,376 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,484 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

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  • 5 points Caveguy22

    I put more trust in a lion raised from birth than a hippo raised from birth.

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  • 4 points Ok-Figure5546

    I think you're safer raising a grizzly bear than a hippo.

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  • 2 points hippopotma_gandhi

    Fuck yeah

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  • 1 points imthatguyyouknow1

    🎶GUY ON A BUFFAL…. Oh……

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  • 3 points lowcountrylivin

    Who else thought he was gonna fuck the hippo?

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    1 points E-A-G-L-E-S_Eagles

    Why do you think he’s dead?

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  • 1 points reardonlovechild

    Dressing up as a marble for a costume party was probably a bad idea on his part.

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  • 1 points JodkaVodka

    I love hippos (except when they're hungry)

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  • 2 points Nder_Wiggin

    It didn't eat him, but it did gore him to death. The hippo was probably letting him know your time as king of the lake is up and I'm the boss now.

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    1 points HippoBot9000

    HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 854,849,716 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 18,716 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.

    parent root
  • 2 points D3lacrush

    Hippos... nature's middle finger to EVERYones mental health and safety

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  • 1 points DevilLeos

    For those that are ignorant hippos do in fact eat both plants and meat.

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  • 1 points sasanessa

    Rescued it from the river? Lol. You can’t take some animals. Like hippos

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  • 1 points woodguard

    kind of like a girlfriend.

    parent
  • 1 points Pplapoo

    Oh shit

    parent
  • 1 points happi_2b_alive

    https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/world/2011/nov/14/pet-hippo-humphrey-kills-owner?deb=0mobile1gsa&uuld=45.390804,-122.80829

    Wasn't eaten. Body was found in the river. Was killed and the Internet embellished the story.

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  • 1 points Avalanche52349

    ...no good deed goes unpunished. 🤨

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  • 2 points Arend8

    Circle of life

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  • 1 points Laynes_Attic

    This reminds me of that kids game, bloodthirsty bloodthirsty man-killing hippos.

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  • 1 points Heyplaguedoctor

    I’m just here for hippobot

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  • 1 points [deleted]

    Relationships change. I’m sure there was a falling out that lead to that event.

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  • 1 points BoredGamer4lyfe

    Straight up lies, the hippo would just violently murder him in the water. They don't eat humans, never have and never will.

    parent
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