What sort of critique are you seeking...? I would suggest that it is not currently ready to be critiqued. It currently feels more like a jotting down of ideas. That might be the style you've chosen for this piece, but if so then we need more to go on. Good luck.
To be honest, im only posting here to spread my unuverse, and so if i get a critique that'd be fine, but im not focused on them.
What sort of critique are you seeking...?
I would suggest that it is not currently ready to be critiqued. It currently feels more like a jotting down of ideas. That might be the style you've chosen for this piece, but if so then we need more to go on. Good luck.
To be honest, im only posting here to spread my unuverse, and so if i get a critique that'd be fine, but im not focused on them.