I work with women around intimacy, shame, and body autonomy, and there’s something I keep seeing over and over again — both professionally and personally. Whenever women ask for women-only spaces, the reaction is often the same, that it’s “divisive,” or “avoidant,” or somehow refusing to engage with the real world. But my experience has been the opposite.
In mixed spaces, many of us are constantly doing quiet mental work without anyone noticing.
We’re tracking the way we sound, how much space we’re taking, whether we’re about to be judged, sexualized, corrected, or dismissed. It’s subtle, but it adds up and over time, that kind of self-monitoring keeps the nervous system on edge. In women-only spaces, something shifts as if the volume drops. People pause before speaking, not because they’re afraid, but because they’re actually listening to themselves and to each other. For a lot of women, that’s the first time they’re not explaining or defending their experience in real time. They’re just… processing it.
To me, that doesn’t feel like segregation.
It feels like creating the conditions where healing and clarity can happen before confrontation or debate. I’m genuinely curious how others here experience this, have women-only spaces ever felt grounding or restorative for you or has it been different?
When we're in these spaces, we can take our armour off. Sometimes we don't know how much energy we're using carrying that armour all the time. It's necessary.
I am feeling content more and more women become conscious of exactly this aspect of energy being invested in scanning the environment.
I noticed this on transit. Get on a bus/train where a few women are sitting and you feel relaxed. As soon as men start boarding at the next stops, the atmosphere becomes tense and there is an underlying current of potential violence that most men carry with them. This is more noticeable in enclosed spaces but it happens everwhere.
Washrooms! Unisex washrooms are common now but being able to use a woman only washroom feels like a small oasis.
This is a wonderful example. I had the same feeling last night on the train after my group therapy. It was already dark when I was on the train stop and my mind was profiling men on the bus stop for suspicious behaviour.
A lack of women only spaces is why I refuse to engage with the real world.