1. Learn that just because someone asked a question does not mean they are owed an answer.

2. Practice, practice and become comfortable with the discomfort of silence. If you can hold yourself in silence with someone, they will almost always start talking because they can't stand the discomfort.

3. Do not absorb the discomfort caused by others. Women are trained to "make everything better" at the cost to ourselves. Men create pain and women absorb it so he won't feel uncomfortable. Well, fuck that. Hand it back to him. Make a scene when a man gropes you, don't sit silent. Be direct and tell people who are rude that they are rude.

4. If you need or want or must be diplomatic, learn the politician's pivot, and how to direct a conversation. Politicians rarely answer the question that was asked, but find a way to redirect and answer a question they wish they had been asked. They respond with something like: "That's interesting, but did you know blah blah blah" or just ignore the question and say something like: "Oh! I forgot to tell you blah blah blah." If you can talk for a few sentences on your subject, the other person will forget their original subject - especially if you insert something flattering about them, or talk about their interests.

5. Flattery almost always works to make people like you, and indirect flattery is gold. That's when you tell them something complimentary you heard about them from someone else, or you say something complimentary about them to another person (this may or may not get back to them, so don't count on it.) Anyway, saying nice things (that are true) about other people makes you like them better, and be happier yourself. It's fun, a feel good hack.

When someone made a suggestion she did not intend to use in the slightest, my High School drama teacher would say, "That's an idea."

I always politely turn it into a question for them.

Them: why are you not dating?

Me: oh have you gone on some interesting dates lately? Or what interesting date have you and your husband been on lately?

“Wow. I’m surprised you feel comfortable asking me that.”

Give up on being polite.

I’m over being polite, it’s really not a priority for me.

“No.” Is a complete sentence .

One of my favorite lines

Excuse me, did you mean to say that out loud?

Said in a very nice tone. If the answer is any thing other than an apology it’s met with this response. A polite,

“Oh my.” While I give my head a very slight shake and walk away

It usually does the trick for me

For questions it's something along the lines of "I don't discuss that"

"I don't discuss ____ at work" (or other situation)

"That's not a work conversation"

"We can move on from that"

For advice, similar vibes:

"I'm comfortable with where I'm at'

"I am already familiar/aware"

Or one I accidentally spit out the other day "oh good, so I have been doing it the right way all these years"

"Yes, dear." With a very fake smile, without even hearing them, much less giving any weight to their words.

Shuts them up instantly.

My go to phrase is “ I will take your opinion under consideration” whenever I encounter pushy  know it alls who demand certain outcome. Good way to indicate that it’s an opinion and not a rule and that I control whether I follow it or not.  Shuts them right up. 

“No”

“That line of questioning is outside of the scope of this meeting and will not yield this value for this meeting.”

That … or

“F*** off” with a smile…

To be honest? I am not generally polite to people who are rude enough to ask a question that could be considered intrusive. Unwanted advice, either. Other than that, I am what I would consider kind, but I'm not nice.

I’m 50, and IDGAF about random men’s feelings anymore. I realize OP did not specifically say just men, but in my experience…it’s men.

I’ve said, “Wow. That’s a very inappropriate question. I’m surprised you’re comfortable even asking that,” but that’s not always effective because it opens the door to an argument. So now I say, “Why would you ask that?” or, “And what do you mean by that?” and I stop talking. Asking super flatly, basically, “where tf do you get off?” without saying it directly is a lot of fun because making someone explain their own rudeness makes them do Olympic-level mental gymnastics.

Make them awkward

Depends on what it is and the situation. If it’s a friend type situation or party, I have no problem not being polite. If it’s work, that’s a little more delicate. Usually “would you say/ask a man that” works.

Outside of an employment situation where you can’t scream at customers, why do you need to be polite?

I’ll have to think on that.

“I’ll take that into consideration” and then justa do what you want, whatever aligns with your goals. If people are too abrasive or too intrusive you can straight up tell them that you’re choosing not to engage with their questions or engage in listening to their advice. I’d say 90% of the people stop in their tracks when you use the latter.

I just go silent. For anyone who seems to full of themselves, or even a slight attempt of demeaning myself with any sort of question, I just stop engaging. I would respond with one syllable answer, "cool", "great", or "whatever".

“Oh wow! I’ve never heard that perspective before, so interesting.”

Or, “(laugh) goodness! I don’t even know how to answer that!”

And then walk away.

Say "let me make sure I understand you correctly.. then parrot their own statement with inflection that either the question is intrusive/rude.

Usually that works for me. It embarrasses people using their own words against them.

" Did I hear correctly, or can you elaborate on that to make sure I understand."

That shuts most people down with being rude but still showing that you are not allowing their behavior or questions to affect you.

Just kindly laugh it off and/or change the topic.

People can ask whatever rude questions they want, but that doesn’t mean that I have to answer them or make the situation confrontational or negative.

95% of the time, people realize that they made a faux pas and move on as well. Very rarely will they continue to ask, and then I just remove myself from the conversation.

No thank you

No thank you!

First, by simply being unavailable. How do you “be unavailable” when you can’t get away, you ask? By making your attention unavailable.

I have ADHD and I’m introverted, introspective. I have spent a LOT of time watching my own mind work and I know exactly what I do when I’m distracted. So when a stranger is bothering me, I don’t try to avoid getting distracted, and therefore every minor movement in my peripheral vision gets my focus. It’s even easier if I’m actively doing something: I let it distract me from the person I don’t want to talk to. I simply do not have the attention span for their bullshit. What a shame.

They usually kind of wander off after a while. Sometimes they don’t, and that’s when I say something like “I’m so sorry, I really have to focus on this,” or if I’m birding, for example, I might apologetically hold a finger to my lips and gesture in the direction of the birds. Bonus points if they fly away right at that moment, which might be expected depending on the bird.

I’ve never had anybody really push it, but I still spend the time preparing myself to punch them if they try to touch me. Never know when you’re dealing with a POS.

Also, I am a master of the noncommittal “mm.”, including the period when they get pushy. It makes it clear that you heard them, and if they ask “are you listening?” or something like that, I will repeat back to them exactly what they just said. If they push more for a response, they might do it with a statement, in which case they get another noncommittal “mm.” definitely including the period this time, or they ask a question, in which case I say that I can’t think of anything (else) to say.

I like this question, great takes. But I have a question myself….. Ladies who have not mastered the art of being polite, what are their thoughts? For example, I had a coworker try to invite herself and kids on a double, well triple date to a theater & dinner with 6 of us. We were talking about the date & time next month in the train from work. She inserted herself and said, “Uummm, are you going to invite me or just be rude? I like theater, comedy & food too……” The last time, we invited her to a Halloween party and she brought her two teenagers PLUS the 14 year old girl’s best friend. This was an adult party, and ruined the vibe with these kids. She had them young. She brought no dish to pass or alcohol for her to drink, she just sucked off of everyone else. Yeah, how do you teach 32 year old woman to have manners and respect for other people’s time, homes, vibes, and plans?? Help!

For intrusive questions, my 'go-to' response is to ask them,'Oh, why do you want to know '?

If I'm in a snarky mood I say "I don't recall asking for your opinion" and then walk away.

I had one guy in a grocery store that kept talking to me and would't leave me alone so in a loud voice I said "I already told you I don't have any spare change!" He walked away rather quickly.

I love “what an odd thing to say”

Silence. Wait. Then after 15-20 seconds, laugh. “Oh, wait, was that a serious question?”

Give them a chance to backtrack.

If they don’t backtrack, “Do you think that’s an appropriate question? Spoiler alert: it’s not.”