Maybe I'm getting older (in my 30s now), but I realised that a lot of men my age, even if they've educated themselves on skincare and working out, haven't improved their emotional intelligence or their social/cultural intelligence, and I genuinely find it rather repulsive. I know it's a strong word, but it really does feel very offputting that I'd rather be single forever.
I hate feeling like this towards them because I know that not every guy is like that, but why does it feel like every single guy in my age group are?
There was a guy recently who actually literally breathed on me, and that was so gross to me because who likes feeling a stranger's breath on them?! This guy doesn't understand the concept of personal space. I know it's a cultural thing for him, but it's still so offputting that he's lived in this country for many years now, and still hasn't learnt anything about our local culture (yes, personal space is important to us).
He also interprets "no" as a starting point of a negotiation, which I've been told by friends from his country is common for culturally unintelligent people there. I'm not interested in negotiating. No means no!! Why do I have to repeat myself?
He also doesn't follow instructions to organise/tidy things after use and actually throws other people's property into their storage, which could break the item and cause us property damage fees.
He's always trying to grab the seat next to mine, but dude can't understand my literal "no" when I reject his offers/advances and when I explicitly expressed that I've no interest in anything from him, he can't read my facial expression of disgust which I don't bother hiding at all, keeps privately messaging me (everyone's number is in the group chat, which is how he got mine) even though I don't respond at all, constantly interrupting people's conversations midway so that he can get non-urgent answers to what he wants instead of waiting until people finish what they're saying, keeps asking when I'm coming or leaving an event our social group organises so that he can follow me around which is incredibly creepy and needy, etc.
It's such a huge ick. It's not just him, but a lot of other men do similar things as well. He's just the most recent one that's been bothering me for 3 weeks now, despite already telling him plainly no. I'm not trying to be mean or cause drama in our social group, but I really had to air this somewhere. Rant over.
It's not men. It's the weaponized incompetence and boundary-stomping disguised as "cultural difference." You're not repulsed by a gender-you're exhausted by disrespect. Stop explaining. Block him, avoid him, and let your disgust be your compass. You don't owe anyone politeness when they treat your "no" as a suggestion.
I get what you're saying. But in this case, it actually is a cultural thing. He's a foreigner, English isn't his first language, he isn't westernised, and his culture is very well known to take no as a starting point of negotiation. Not everything is weaponised incompetence if they're unable to understand local customs. Some people are just uneducated or unintelligent
Edit: To be clear, he doesn't take the first no from everyone there as well, whether man or woman
I get it, completely. Same boat as you. I feel like the further I go, the more they regress.
Men with gross hygiene are common as well as men who dont know how to interact with women
Join some co-ed clubs and hobbies to meet higher quality men
Funny you say that because this is a co-ed social club where he's at
Find a better one then
Following lol
Your hanging around the wrong people
This is a co-ed social club. I don't choose to hang with him, but my friends. He's just there because it's a club that's open to the public
There's absolutely nothing wrong with being single. I'm not necessarily trying to talk you out of that.
But honestly where are you meeting these guys? I wonder if there's somewhere different where you can meet guys who have values that line up with yours a bit better.
I can't believe that, as a woman, I'm saying this, but not all men are like that.
corny ass reply
This is a co-ed social club. Most people here are fine and easy to get along with. It's just him
Then you're not straight
Nah I’m straight, Tommy boy. I know It’s hard pill to swallow but most of yall are just disgusting, if not physically then mentally, sometimes both!