The Giants from my world aren't so chill. And no, I don't know how they got here. All that I know is that they, sometimes, take people up into the clouds, and they're never seen again. Not all the Giants do this, though. Some of them are just destructive. Y'know, typical giant monster stuff, easy to take care of, we just evacuate and direct people away from their path. But, the smaller monsters on the ground... Those are the ones we really have to worry about.
Damn that sucks have you reached out to the wizard council for help? We at the warlock alliance would help you. You'd have to come to meeting to make your case.
What could the Council do? What are they supposed to do against a cartoon cat that bends physics like rubber, cricket-like humanoids that disguise themselves as sleepwalking patients, or even a large fetal humanoid that sneaks into your house without making a sound? There's barely even anything we can do.
There once was a council of mages who whined,
They argued on rules no one read or could find.
With motions and votes,
And very long notes,
They stamped little forms while they tantrum declined.
The gnomes faced the knights on a sorrowed plain,
Where banners were soaked through with grief and with rain.
Small hands clutched the ground,
As tall helms lay unbound,
And no song rose again from that battlefield’s pain.
The gods hurled their spite from the heights of the sky,
Slights far too small for a star to pass by.
For titles and thrones,
And whose name came in stones,
They shattered the stars just to prove the other was wrong.
/uw Was this a reply to my comment? Reddit must've split it off again. Anyway, it's good to have you back. A lot has happened since you were here last.
Uh, let’s see, we had the war with the fighters guild and that Leothric putz. Then I think there were some issues with undead, but that seemed to quiet down while I was gone.
Oh stars, it's been a while. Well, we had this being called the Queen of Shattered Stars show up and we had to go to the Moon to save the realms. Then an ancient pyromancer lord named Atrax the Ashen tried to destroy order in the realms. After that, there was this evil dark elf named Morgalith who hunted down Possum and had him executed for some reason, which we traced back to a secret cult of shadow cultists in the Council. When the Pact tried to make them confront their corruption, they turned on us and there was a war. Opal (one of the Bismuth Lord's servants) took over the Pact and turned into a tyrant, so we had to stop her.
After that, people stopped really caring about the Council's authority and it got infested with gods meddling in mortal affairs. We ended up reforming the Pact as the EON Compact to serve as an alternative government, and that's worked so far. Then there was a guy called the God-Slaver who started handing out power to people if they'd help him conquer the universe (we killed him). Then a bunch of evil folks put together something called the Cabal and made life a headache for a while, but they're gone now. An avatar of extinction rose and fell or something, planar forces invaded, then most of the gods and magical celebrities got smote from existence by the Fundamentals (banned for unethical bullshit). The God-Slaver came back, and died for real this time.
The main threats nowadays are the Maggot Host of the Nurglite champion Tamurkhan, the servants of Tiamat, the cult of Xel'lotath (an eldritch goddess of insanity), whatever inhuman bullshit the scientists of the Iron Chain crank out this week, and my own colleagues in EON being baby imperialists.
Dude I have no idea and I've been here for it, best I've been able to do is trying to throw rocks at this one demon killer looking guy to verify if he even exists, apparently his friend can summon castles? It's trippy
The state of things?! It's all bose-einstein condensates now. At least that's what the science wizards tell me. I miss the days when matter only had three states. Four states, if you count Alabama.
Look, no one was around to run the wizard tower hoa after you left, and things... escalated quickly. Some thing may have... gotten out of hand. We washed most of the exploded frogs off your tower though. You're welcome.
Theres a post on here about the Eternal Worm, it's sience been banished to The Womb, but in the process it ate all of Botswana, Northern Ireland, half of all Russian women, Sol IIIa, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania (last 3 are American realms.)
Unfortunately due to the metal scars such a banishment has cast upon me I have not been able to keep up with the affairs of the entirety planet 3.103639e258300820.5273963, but I know that due to the removal of a large part of serfs in the realm America they have been under a new aristocratic regime like the olden days.
I don't tend to interact with the earthen world, but for what I know some asshole decided to cloudkill the entire planet and sent mankind into shelter for quite a while.
Also, orbs are now sentient and everything on them seems to have been affected by an arcane mirage. They can take the form of your dreams. Or make an argument as to why you should nuke your vessel. Or both at the same time.
Madness, political unrest, old gods breaking free of their prisons, testicles still being torsioned...
So you know, the usual.
[Mokarith] Oh you know; reality threatening beings, daemonic invasions, the usual pretty much.
/unwiz: it depends on how long you've been gone.
...Do not ask me. I literally have no clue what is going on.
/uw Hey, I remember you! Long time no see!
Something along the lines of several apocalyptic events, invasions, and incompetence of various degrees. Nothing particularly new, really
Are you talking about all the giant dimensional beings wondering around? Bro thier chill, thier not a problem.
The Giants from my world aren't so chill. And no, I don't know how they got here. All that I know is that they, sometimes, take people up into the clouds, and they're never seen again. Not all the Giants do this, though. Some of them are just destructive. Y'know, typical giant monster stuff, easy to take care of, we just evacuate and direct people away from their path. But, the smaller monsters on the ground... Those are the ones we really have to worry about.
Damn that sucks have you reached out to the wizard council for help? We at the warlock alliance would help you. You'd have to come to meeting to make your case.
What could the Council do? What are they supposed to do against a cartoon cat that bends physics like rubber, cricket-like humanoids that disguise themselves as sleepwalking patients, or even a large fetal humanoid that sneaks into your house without making a sound? There's barely even anything we can do.
They gave the hairless apes fire and free will, do not recommend.
There once was a council of mages who whined,
They argued on rules no one read or could find.
With motions and votes,
And very long notes,
They stamped little forms while they tantrum declined.
The gnomes faced the knights on a sorrowed plain,
Where banners were soaked through with grief and with rain.
Small hands clutched the ground,
As tall helms lay unbound,
And no song rose again from that battlefield’s pain.
The gods hurled their spite from the heights of the sky,
Slights far too small for a star to pass by.
For titles and thrones,
And whose name came in stones,
They shattered the stars just to prove the other was wrong.
No
https://preview.redd.it/mqcbwtpcq87g1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5b54acf324fe20ef84706ee9ce32b1f53e0ab810
/uw Yup, was starting to miss me big boi and thought I’d poke my head in
/uw Was this a reply to my comment? Reddit must've split it off again. Anyway, it's good to have you back. A lot has happened since you were here last.
/uw Oh yeah, that’s weird. Well, at least you found it anyway.
/uw you know, i had a similar reason for coming back here.
I've been looking for you. Got something I've suppose to deliver - your hands only.
Three gremlins walk up behind you*
“Can I touch i-“
“NO VOROMIR! TIS FOR THE HANDS OF THE CLOAKED ONE ALONE!”
“Sorry, brother.”
The gremlins backflip away*
Ho there, old friend, it's been a second. Looks like some of the old guard is waking up.
Maybe Possum's ghost will make an appearance?
Oh, now I'm sad.
Drink?
Well, I suppose it can’t hurt…but I still expect some answers, damnit!
Kaelis racks his brain.
Alright Cormac, what was the last newsworthy event before you went on vacation?
Uh, let’s see, we had the war with the fighters guild and that Leothric putz. Then I think there were some issues with undead, but that seemed to quiet down while I was gone.
Oh stars, it's been a while. Well, we had this being called the Queen of Shattered Stars show up and we had to go to the Moon to save the realms. Then an ancient pyromancer lord named Atrax the Ashen tried to destroy order in the realms. After that, there was this evil dark elf named Morgalith who hunted down Possum and had him executed for some reason, which we traced back to a secret cult of shadow cultists in the Council. When the Pact tried to make them confront their corruption, they turned on us and there was a war. Opal (one of the Bismuth Lord's servants) took over the Pact and turned into a tyrant, so we had to stop her.
After that, people stopped really caring about the Council's authority and it got infested with gods meddling in mortal affairs. We ended up reforming the Pact as the EON Compact to serve as an alternative government, and that's worked so far. Then there was a guy called the God-Slaver who started handing out power to people if they'd help him conquer the universe (we killed him). Then a bunch of evil folks put together something called the Cabal and made life a headache for a while, but they're gone now. An avatar of extinction rose and fell or something, planar forces invaded, then most of the gods and magical celebrities got smote from existence by the Fundamentals (banned for unethical bullshit). The God-Slaver came back, and died for real this time.
The main threats nowadays are the Maggot Host of the Nurglite champion Tamurkhan, the servants of Tiamat, the cult of Xel'lotath (an eldritch goddess of insanity), whatever inhuman bullshit the scientists of the Iron Chain crank out this week, and my own colleagues in EON being baby imperialists.
In other words, business as usual.
Yeah, that seems like everything... wait, wasn't there a fish plague?
I remember a fish plague that turned people into fish...
Yes, almost forgot the fish plague. And the Council's shapeshifting zombies, but honestly that was a speedbump as far as these things go.
Ugh, I regret asking. I’m just gonna get back to my bog, make sure a gateway to hell hasn’t opened there.
We did make sure to seal all of those, so hopefully there won't be.
Don't look at me, I'm blind and live in a cave!
Shit’s bad. Like, real bad.
No.
Dude I have no idea and I've been here for it, best I've been able to do is trying to throw rocks at this one demon killer looking guy to verify if he even exists, apparently his friend can summon castles? It's trippy
Well... global warming is now called climate change
The state of things?! It's all bose-einstein condensates now. At least that's what the science wizards tell me. I miss the days when matter only had three states. Four states, if you count Alabama.
The wise green man of the lake died…
Oh yeah and the humans are killing everything! Including themselves, I’m pretty sure.
But they did invent planes! That’s pretty sick.
You got me, pal. I'm just an occasional visitor too. Sometimes this little 'bold gets scared.
Look, no one was around to run the wizard tower hoa after you left, and things... escalated quickly. Some thing may have... gotten out of hand. We washed most of the exploded frogs off your tower though. You're welcome.
I sell one armorbeast and suddenly the world-ending threat is MY FAULT somehow.
He was gonna do it anwyay guys! Lay off!
Theres a post on here about the Eternal Worm, it's sience been banished to The Womb, but in the process it ate all of Botswana, Northern Ireland, half of all Russian women, Sol IIIa, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania (last 3 are American realms.)
Unfortunately due to the metal scars such a banishment has cast upon me I have not been able to keep up with the affairs of the entirety planet 3.103639e258300820.5273963, but I know that due to the removal of a large part of serfs in the realm America they have been under a new aristocratic regime like the olden days.
"...are you in a hurry, because you might have missed a lot?"
I don't tend to interact with the earthen world, but for what I know some asshole decided to cloudkill the entire planet and sent mankind into shelter for quite a while.
Also, orbs are now sentient and everything on them seems to have been affected by an arcane mirage. They can take the form of your dreams. Or make an argument as to why you should nuke your vessel. Or both at the same time.
Sweats in Appalachian!
Well, for starters, you're standing in a minefield.
Is that the Fresno Nightcrawler? Or Bigfoot crouching?
Some asshole on the council decided that fireballs should be considered forbidden magic. We’re revolting.
What?
Something that not even I can heal.
Why you asking me? I'm just a cute little hawk familiar. Caw. Caw.