So I still had an amazing time, this past Saturday I got married to the love of my life and my best friend...but looking back we both agree that our photographer kinda monopolized and guided the flow of our wedding to his whim. Here's kind of a rundown (idk if this is normal, everyone i talk to seemed to be taken aback by it).
So ceremony and stuff leading up to it went well. Photographer even checked in with me to see how im feeling/take pictures with the Mariners Moose that I hired to be at wedding.
Then, he took the Moose to the brides changing room i obv wasn't there cuz it was before the ceremony but apparently he took like 20 minutes of the Moose time (he was only there for 30 min) taking like an excessive amount of pictures (having each combination of bridesmaids kiss the Moose cheeks, bride and bridesmaids do the same, then everyone etc etc. I learned this after the fact the bride told me, I was like what he only then had like 5 min to mingle with everyone else (lots of people had kids and loved the Mariners).
Main thing was after ceremony so ceremony ended we walked down the aisle side by side, then we had to sign marriage license. We had to hold on to sign it (while the pen was already touching the paper) and shift around so "the lighting could be just right" for some photos. This ended up making our officiant goof and sign his name twice in same box (easy fix, auditor just white out extra signature but still photographer was too involved).
This next part pissed us off the most we were taking pictures with family, best men and bridesmaids for what seemed like 90 minutes after marriage certificate signing and before our grand entrance into reception hall. The food was there delivered and getting cold about 20 min in (brides mom was tasked with distributing people to go get food but she was with us with photographer). So I had to step away, ignore the photographer, and tell our MC to tell people to go get some food table by table. Seemed like a long time to have bride and groom missing, and their food was bordering on being cold.
Then, add in 30 more minutes we took some pictures that were by a nearby trail (wooded area, like 29 feet away, paved, super nice) but some of the poses were dumb/creepy? Like one was me the groom putting one of my legs up on the Bannister with my hands in my pockets (think like those black cowboy silhouettes you sometimes see in yards) and then one was me crossing my legs at my anklesand looking at the bride. Also during the group photos he took like 20 pictures of me having a big smile and looking into the yees of my best man (weird).
And then final pose on trail was we had to walk like 50 straight feet my bride and me looking smiling i mean probably good pictures but I was over it at that point.
By the time we finally sat down at the sweetheart, we got some food (it was ice cold), and theb because he took like 2 hrs for a photo session, the whole agenda was cramped so we had to rush through cake cutting, dances.
AND THEN. His shift was up at 6p (we had venue till 12a) so he made the announcement to do the grand exit (tunnel with bubbles outside) and im like what now after that announcement but people were already getting up to do that. So we did that but then once people were outside, then the natural thing to do is then leave. Me and the bride were just starting to mingle with people.
Idk if I am overreacting but we felt like he monopolized the whole day. And we should have said something, but didnt even get a chance to with all of his directions and demands, and we just wanted to get it done....but didn't know itd take the whole damn time.
Oh, come now. You're adults, you could have spoken up. Was there no list of pictures you were going to get? I'm confused on how you didn't know the estimated time this was going to take, or why no one left when it was time to go greet your guests and eat.
We gave him a guideline but he did whatever he wanted to do...we'll kept telling him no we want thrse certain ones and just went with whatever he wanted to do
Leave a very bad review. That usually helps.
Leave a bad review after you get your photos. But honestly, nothing was stopping you from walking away from him and just enjoying the party.
It’s unfortunate that dinner was not timed right and the photographer was not booked for long enough to catch everything you guys wanted without causing issue. You always have the option to say “no, we’re done” and ignore.
(Retired) professional photographer here, and I’ve done a fair amount of weddings and events, so here’s my take:
Without that information I will have to assume a fair amount in my take…. Since you didn’t say what you paid, I’m going to assume this was a lower price/less experienced photographer. Also, your comment about them taking 90-120 mins for the bridal party/family photos is a huge tell on their experience level.
My point is “You get what you pay for”.
Two photographers ensure quality, and efficiency. Unlike other events, there are no do overs for weddings.
It’s an extremely difficult job to be everywhere and do everything in a timely manner, when you are shooting solo. It just literally cannot be done in a timely manner, or done well imo. You will end up taking too long, missing shots, and just overall be unable to do a good job. The bigger the wedding, the more apparent this issue becomes.
Think about working a job, where you have to nonstop be available to what is going on, and things happening in multiple locations, and this is required for a non-stop 6-8 hour window — and yet you are not a robot and must do things like use the bathroom and eat or drink.
Next to impossible to do, or do well, when solo.
My point? Hire a photographer team, or a solo photographer’s work you like, that can ensure you that they will have a second shooter with them for the day.
I never shot a wedding or any event during my time where I wasn’t in lock step ahead of time with the planner ( whether that means a bride, day of coordinator, or some sort of organizer).
What this means, is that when someone booked me they were receiving a multitude of information and requests from me far ahead of the booked event.
This is to ensure any and all expectations are being laid out, discussed, and detailed far ahead of time. Not the day of, or not at all (as is what appears to be the case here).
Sounds like ESH in your story, bc you spent $$ on having some mascot there and without any mention of communication to the photographer you kind of throw him under the bus here bc he took the creative liberty to spend time capturing as many images as possible with the very thing you spent money on to be there a short amount of time the day of. He probably thought you’d be thrilled, but you’re pissed. Again… massive lack of communication.
Think how this could’ve gone either way from his perspective! He focuses on you and the bride and totally only gets one picture with the mascot then you come to Reddit and blast him for “not enough” mascot photos.
Simply put, without communication and a written shot list YOU are allowing the photographer to take full creative control and liberty.
I’ve never needed more than about 30-45 minutes depending on size of bridal party and the venue location for shooting.
45 mins was when I had a wedding with a bridal party total of 25 individuals I kid you not.
Simply put, a more expensive photographer denotes more experience. Someone that knows their equipment, lighting, and posing and can knock it out fast, without compromising quality.
You wanted those photos done —at least that’s how I take it— yet you didn’t want to pay for the extra time of the photographer being there (an extra 3 hours) to take them in “real time” so the photographer did what anyone being paid for their time would do…
He staged it for you, so you could save money. Yet you come on here blasting him? Hello???? Are you serious???
Yes, it would seem odd to those guests that this is being staged and indicative of the end of the event. That’s why you should have made a choice:
Or
TLDR: ESH couple only hired one photographer (likely for a small fee) then upset when lack of experience plays out in real time, including no one communicating and having everything planned out ahead of time BEFORE the day of (including a shot list for the photographer).
That couple then decides to blame photographer for the whole day and anything said photographer did, or delays caused bc the couple didn’t communicate to the photographer or hire a set of photographers to ensure a smooth day with a shot list and itinerary.
We had 1 photographer and 100 guests…but we did communicate extensively in advance. We looked at pics they had done at the same church and for other weddings and although we didn’t create a “list” we agreed on things that were and were not going to be shot. The photographer also communicated, telling us how much time they needed before the ceremony with the groom/groomsmen and with the bride/bridesmaids (separated), and how much after the ceremony for full bridal party pics, family pics and the ones with hubby and I together. We knew our eta at the reception venue based on that 2-way interaction and added a buffer to our mealtime plan. Appetizers and soda/water/beer/wine and cash bar were available to guests till we arrived so they didn’t starve. The photographer only did a couple shots at the reception (us arriving, us by the cake pretending to cut it, the head table seated) then she left. We had disposable cameras on every table, and two groomsmen tasked with making sure there was at least one photo of every guest table. That saved the photographer’s time (our $) and we got everything we wanted. If the “exit shot” had been our requirement, I am quite sure she would’ve told us in advance that we could stage it (like the cake cutting) or she could stay till the end and increase our costs. 2-way communication and planning was at fault here. If the wedding party did clear 1-way communication (doesn’t sound like it given the moose scenario) and got no expectations back from the photographer, then they chose the wrong guy and it should’ve been a red flag.
This is exactly it. It’s communication. It’s knowing your flow (as a photographer) and being able to explain and quantify the time you need for each task or situation the wedding couple wishes to capture.
Without that, you get the exact scenario the OP posted about.
And yes, a single shooter can do a wedding solo. I’ve done them solo, but the bigger the wedding (and venue) the harder it gets… even with a ton of experience, bc you’re human and can only move so fast.
But that single shooter, if they are a true pro and not faking it, knows exactly how long those things take and conveys that to set expectations and elate any worries or fears about day of.
This story tells so much more if you read between the lines. Wedding couple were just as much at fault for their issues as the photographer was.
I just confirmed with a couple other photographer friends you would make a terrible photographer, and your rude af and make a bunch of stupid assumptions. My guy who is an actual professional photographer said if you acted like any of that at a wedding he'd fire your ass 😅🤣
Perhaps you should have hired one of your many professional photographer friends rather than the one you chose.
They lived out of state and weren't available 😢
And I am the queen of Sheba
Hi queen!! I love that you assume I'm lying!
Also, seems my assumptions have struck a chord, which would only happen if they are true.
Thing is, I only have to deal with you for a little bit, just like that poor photographer you hired. You have to deal with your self the rest of your life.
I give your marriage 3 years
According to another post. They didn’t even last that long. Lol
For real??? lol!!😂
Your friend couldn’t afford me lol so I’m not worried
Then why didn’t you hire that guy if you’re so well connected to photographers?
Because the other photographer i know was out of state at the time. I said that in another reply.
I appreciate your perspective but we told him the combo list that we wanted, he didn't really listen what that combo list was (we emailed and talked on phone multiple times before wedding on the set list). We didn't talk about any other poses we wanted like the weird me crossing my legs i just went along with it.
And he wasn't cheap, idk the typical price but he was like 2500 and was referred by my groom (who did not have this experience at all). I get we did communicate that we did not wanna do a first look, but still him taking nearly 2 hours to do shots seemed excessive.
And it's not like we told him when his shift was up, we paid a flat rate plus an extra fee for additional time (he listed it as unlimited) but theb said he had to go to another event so that's why he staged the grand entrance. A far more professional approach he could have taken was to not basically take over the Mc role, have people leave the venu without checking in with us first...he should have consulted us first (thats his lack of communication, not ours).
Per the mascot, I get getting pictures but I told him we only got the Moose for 30 min (I said that before wedding...I want pics of that but he's only there for short time). It was inevitablely his choice to monopolize the moose time and take him away from our guests.
So I dint wanna argue and I get some of your points, but some assumptions you made were off base. Theres some things I could habe communicated better to photographer, but also he did monopolize the wedding (even when we tried to speak up, he ignored us and went for our next pose...and me and the bride are inherently non confrontational people and I did not want any bad vibes in my wedding so we just went with it).
You say the photographer was “referred by my groom”, and also “me and the bride.” You’re apparently a karma farmer and bad at it!
Oh sorry I meant referred by my best man lol. Idc if you believe me or not this happened
It was still a 2-way fail. It sounds like you communicated w the photog exclusively via phone and email. At a single in-person visit (or zoom call) you guys could’ve seen his work at your ceremony location and talked specifics. If he had no examples from your location then he didn’t know shot angles, light, shot composition, etc at the location and would be slower than a photog w experience at that location. If he had examples showing the weird shots you didn’t want you could’ve clarified then, and followed up by refusing politely to model them.
Not discussing time allotted after the ceremony for pics at all seems like you both made different assumptions you didn’t share. 90 minutes could have been reasonable or not depending on number of family configurations and locations (nave, church garden, etc), but assuming 20 minutes was crazily unrealistic and doomed to fail regardless of the photographer. Beverages and appetizers before the wedding party arrive is a smart buffer most weddings use and would’ve made a world of different here.
You communicated there was 30 minutes for the moose but it seems you didn’t tell him 5 minutes for moose pics then the moose circulates. It’s reasonable that he assumed the whole time was for pics.
When you picked a wedding cake I am assuming you were specific about times (too early and the location might not be able to receive it, too late is a different problem). Communicating about time allocations for the moose and time after the ceremony with the photog should’ve been a given too.
A flat fee for an unlimited time event is very odd, and with the duration for pics after being a little high (but not insane), I expect the photog was inexperienced and trying to ensure you got “perfect” pics. Without direction from you (I don’t want that shot, let’s move to the pic of …..) he guessed incorrectly. And I repeat that allowing just 20 minutes before food was served is a recipe for disaster unless you just wanted a couple quick snaps with someone’s phone camera.
Yeah i can totally see all that in retrospect. Thank you for laying it out like that (unlike soem guy on here who guessed my marriage will fail in 3 years).
Yeah ill be honest I had no idea what I was doing i thought I went in with a plan (printed off an action plan/texted a bunch of people involved before) but it was day of stuff i didn't anticipate or think about.
I still had a blast at my wedding and I do understand that I could have communicated better to the photographer. Oh well at least I dont have to go thru that again lol
$2500 is on the lower end for professional photographers and for wedding photos. The fact that didn't stay the full 8-12 hours is weird. What kind of contract did y'all set up? Are you sure your friend was giving you good advice?
Also you and your spouse should have used your words. People can't read minds.
Appreciate the downvotes for giving my view 🥰
And we appreciate you bud
Clowns are always entertaining
And this way we dont even need to pay for a circus ticket
Oh wow you sound so cool 🥴🙄
Also I appreciate all of the biased assumptions and condescending nature because you're in the same field. Makes you seem totally mature and not ignorant.
If you feel offended by any of my remarks, which none at all were pointed nor out of line, then perhaps instead of lashing out at me, you take some time to self reflect and also take some accountability in the situation.
Based on your few replies, my guess is that you will not. Seems for you, that it is much easier to just go through life pointing fingers and being the victim. Reflection and accountability take more work, emotional maturity, and time.
Did you have a timeline/ shot list with your photographer? It sounds like he wanted to make sure you got all the important shots maybe you didn’t plan around the time it takes to take pics. You’re allowed to say I don’t want to do that. Especially to awkward poses and the exit. Family photos take time and so do couples photos. There’s usually a cocktail hour between the ceremony and reception for this reason
Nah man, you let him monopolize the wedding. It’s your wedding. You’re paying them. You politely say “I think that’s enough.” “No thanks, we need to move on.”
That's fair
I’ll just comment on the mascot. If I were the photographer I would have assumed he was there for photos with the wedding party, and not with the guests. Unless you told him “we want to make sure the Moose mingles with the guests, I understand why he didn’t know that. I bet the photos with him turn out great. What a fun idea!
We had a similar experience with our photographer. We were already very overwhelmed as we are not people who like being in the spotlight, and our photographer had a big personality. If I were to do it again, I’d have a day-of coordinator with an even bigger personality to defend the schedule and us from the photographer!!
You should have been assertive
People who lack assertiveness make me uncomfortable as someone with a big personality. How am I supposed to know you don't like what I'm doing if you don't say anything? I've had people be like "yep that's fine" when I ask because they don't like confrontation but then they do shit like this after and complain to people/leave bad reviews.
From a photographer’s perspective:
I understand your annoyance- I really do. This was 100% a mismatch of timeline and expectations. To me, he actually sounds like a pretty diligent photographer- it is way easier for him to step back, stand next to a wall and snipe a few photos and call it a day. He seemed to be pretty engaged and invested in taking the best shots in the best lighting he could given the timeline. That there was no first look means that family, bridal party, and couples photos had to happen after the ceremony- there is no way around that. Depending on your groupings and how much time it takes to herd them or even how much “fun” you want to look like you are having, it does takes time to get people into position or the mood. Usually in my calls before the wedding, I try to budget throughout the day at minimum 30 minutes for the couple, 30 for wedding party, up to 40 depending on number and size of family groupings- it could be less, but ideally even more to have room for some creativity.
His fault was taking the timeline as a mission and not reading the room. This is where speaking up would have helped guide him. “We would really like to spend time with family now- based on these past few hours, we are happy with what we got and won’t miss what we won’t.” Or “nah, we don’t want to do the grand exit early just for photos.”
Regardless of your bad experience, I hope you get great photos!
So, you didn't have a shot list, you didn't speak up when you didn't want particular photos done, you didn't allow time for photos after the ceremony and before the food would be delivered (this is what a cocktail hour is for, BTW), you only hired the photographer until 6 PM so you forced a faked grand exit (assuming you wanted photos of that moment), and you want to blame all this on the photographer?
Check the mirror, sir.
This is why we didn't have a photographer. We wanted to have fun and party and not spend time on photos. We wanted to enjoy the moment and day and not worry too much about memories. Ultimately we have lots of memories and less perfect photos. Still lots of imperfect photos that we love just the same.
Would love to see the post from your wife on here “my new husband didn’t show any back bone and let a photographer monopolise our whole ceremony”.
Oh yeah I would love to see that too.
If you didn't give the photog a list and expectations, he was trying to give you what you paid for. I would say that you could have easily said something.
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Well, don’t say anything to him or the company until after you get your pictures back! In the end, you might some really great pictures which will last a lifetime and it’s unfortunate that the experience wasn’t great, but in all honesty the poses and such seem to be very detailed and thorough, so the end result may be worth the agony so to speak.
I hope you at least got paid well for being in this photoshoot.
Lol that would have been nice
I'm stuck on hired a mascot for the wedding. Like I get it you like the mariners but holy crap as big of a football fan as I am and having the connections that I do I would NEVER dream to ask my wife on her day to let me have the Razorback mascot show up for a photo op.. but to each his own I guess. Seemed like more of a flex than necessity and if your photographer is thinking like me he likely thought this was the super important photo prop you wanted and you neglected to tell him the purpose of the mascot being there which is still odd to me.