You felt like a shadow
Always there but not at the same time
You were suppose to be everything for me
But u didn't...I wondered why?
Thought that you would change
But years went by,you remained the same.
You never did anything to be called 'FATHER'
You were a worker, not a father bringing money, never love.
Not enough money though..So u sucked at it too..
Well,u weren't good at that aswell.
It was all my mom struggling for a living with some cents.
I wish I could have got a father,not some shadow.
You didn't ask me how my day was
Or what am I doing
What u want to be?
Never.
Even if I said my problems,you never cared and brushed it away.
I felt bad and jealous while others have supportive loving fathers
What wrong did I do,that I never deserved a better one.
You had one job,and you failed at it
Atleast try to own it up,or correct it but u stayed and remained the same.
You piled up anger like mountain
And erupted like a volcano one day
All i could hear was screams and shatters of glass,just laying on the floor
As mom picked it up.
You don't know how to communicate
You were a unbothered guest,who came and ate.
I never recieved any validation or a pat on my head for all the achievements I got
As if I was some other kid and not yours..
Felt like a glass shattering like the years you never held together.
I wished I didn't have you.
I wish u could have helped me do what i wanted to.
I wish you could have bought more to the table
But I guess I'm too selfish
Yes,you had trauma that your parents silenced you.
But I believe that anyone can change over the years,if they try.
The day i was born,you weren't there at the hospital.
Now,you were there but absent at the same time.
Felt like i was with a ghost,just existing but unable to talk to
So,it meant that I was never yours.Just another burden.