John Wilkes Booth
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  • 1319 points raysofdavies

    Booth was later killed by a man who had castrated himself earlier in life, survived the brutal Confederate POW jail where disease ran wild and was just generally insane. The Union army had cornered Booth in a barn and were waiting him out, wanting him alive to interrogate, but good old Boston Corbett spied him through a hole and shot. The military were furious and wanted to discipline him, but he was a hero and they had to let it go.

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    665 points the_RiverQuest

    I think everyone can learn a valuable lesson from this story;

    don't hide in a barn after shooting the president with a fucking musket or they'll shoot you

    ...or something like that

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    190 points toomanymarbles83

    Lincoln was shot with a Derringer.

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    189 points the_RiverQuest

    I think I can learn a valuable lesson from this:

    Do not use a stronger than you parody as a source of factual information

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    45 points acfcrystal

    Thank you. I’ve never seen that and now I will never forget it.

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    22 points the_RiverQuest

    it gets better

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    19 points BloodredHanded

    There’s a whole slew of them. There’s a Stalin one, I think there’s ones for JFK and Lee Harvey Oswald.

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    9 points Flashlight_Inspector

    Bro used the tutorial gun from the Midnight Mugger mini-game

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    2 points manicpossumdreamgirl

    me in fortnite

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    116 points ShepPawnch

    Don’t forget to include the fact that we don’t know what happened to Boston Corbett. He just sort of disappeared one day.

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    53 points raysofdavies

    He really was a living myth.

    Anyone reading this who doesn’t know more about him: you must listen to this podcast.

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    26 points Rocketboy1313

    Didn't he disappear after escaping an asylum?

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    32 points CaptainXplosionz

    Apparently he visited a friend after escaping and told him he was going to Mexico, but that was the last anybody saw him.

    Edit: afterward > after.

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    1 points [deleted]

    [deleted]

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    6 points CaptainXplosionz

    Uh... what? I don't understand how that's relevant to my comment... or even what you're trying to say. Fuck ICE and the Trump administration though.

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    0 points Rocketboy1313

    Wrong thread.

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    57 points CommunicationKind301

    Was he a hero though? Booth could have had more conspirators, somebody could have hired him, he may have been blackmailed, etc. There are hundreds of questions which could have been revealed in questioning which we'll never have answers to because some ball-less soldier shot before he could think

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    57 points raysofdavies

    I mean he was seen as one.

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    45 points PianoMittens

    There were several conspirators. It was a coordinated, simultaneous attack. I forget who all of the targets were, but Sec of State Seward had his throat slashed (and survived).

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    20 points MasonP2002

    The third target was Vice President Johnson, but the conspirator who was supposed to attack him just went drinking instead.

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    25 points sickagail

    There was a huge trial. Four convicted conspirators were hanged. Several others were pardoned by Andrew Johnson (imagine that).

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    24 points protein_factory

    Conspirators? You mean the fashion industry? That's what Lincoln gets for messing with cotton.

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    24 points PM_ME_GOOD_SUBS

    But why male models?

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    8 points JeanRalfio

    There was a fun segment on the old Unsolved Mysteries that they shot the wrong guy in the barn and just claimed it was Booth.

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    6 points ismasbi

    Also don't forget the guy straight-up said God told him to shoot.

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  • 341 points MelonTheSprigatito

    https://i.redd.it/cz1yanrl26cg1.gif

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    84 points Roader7204

    What is this from????

    This is amazing!

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    108 points MelonTheSprigatito

    It's from the theme song of The Naked Gun TV series

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    41 points TimeStorm113

    THERE IS A TV SERIES?

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    65 points shadowscale1229

    it's called Police Squad and it aged like fine wine. i watched the whole thing last year, lots of word play and stupid humor

    it might be hard to find streaming, but i bought the dvd from amazon for like $5. you could probably set sail (and conquer) to find it as well

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    19 points No_Lingonberry1201

    That show is so dense with jokes and visual gags that you have to pause and rewind to see all of them. Sad that there were only six episodes.

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    8 points SaddestFlute23

    It’s survived as a beloved film franchise for almost 40(!) years and counting

    So I’d call that vindication

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    4 points No_Lingonberry1201

    Most deffo!

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    1 points shadowscale1229

    the new movie is so fucking funny

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    2 points SaddestFlute23

    I love the fact that Liam Neeson and Leslie Nielsen just happen to have the exact same initials

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    1 points shadowscale1229

    i want to see more comedies staring Liam Neeson. he was hysterical

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    14 points PurpleGuy04

    Came First, thats why From the Files of the Police Squad is a subtittle

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  • 261 points DubstepJuggalo69

    My friend pointed out an example I find funnier: it’s like if Casey Affleck killed the President and said “how do you like THEM apples?”

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    64 points NoNameIdea_Seriously

    Indeed very funny but that’s not Affleck’s line… should he say “mah boy’s wicked smaaht”?

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    37 points CrunchAndRoll

    Omg, he shoots Trump in the head and then shouts that.

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  • 803 points Gemmabeta

    Don't forget a bit later when Edwin Booth (John Wilkes's brother) saved Todd Lincoln (Abraham Lincoln's son) from getting run over by a train.

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    223 points jatt135

    I think that was before the shot iirc?

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    83 points Codeviper828

    I've always heard it told that it was before

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    5 points jami_veret118

    Wikipedia says likely 1893 or 1894

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    19 points SpacemanSpleef

    1863 or 4

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  • 114 points zyum

    Apollo, put down that dodgeball! Apollo! We don’t need this particular gift of prophecy! Down!

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    25 points Electronic_Skirt_475

    Girl have you seen American politics today

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    22 points zyum

    ??? Yes but that’s not what the tumblr post was about?

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    11 points Electronic_Skirt_475

    Damn you right, I wasn't paying attention apparently. Sorry

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  • 74 points Councillor_Troy

    You say this but “presidential assassin Jane Fonda” is not that that far out a counterfactual.

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  • 52 points Totally_not_Zool

    Liam has a chance to do the funniest thing ever.

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    15 points flightguy07

    What, kill the Australian PM?

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    12 points Totally_not_Zool

    Also yes.

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  • 25 points anonsharksfan

    And then he got shot by a religious fanatic who cut off his own balls with a pair of scissors

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  • 24 points TFJ

    Semper Fidelis Tyrannosaurus!

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  • 13 points AlphaKamots313

    I love this post, I’m glad I’m seeing it again

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  • 8 points riotlancer

    I don't care enough to fact check this but it's a hilarious bit I share every chance I get

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    21 points tsabin_naberrie

    It's at least decently accurate. The Booth family were actually major for theatre in America at the time, with many of them noteworthy actors, and if I recall correctly, were pioneers in theatre management as we know it now.

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  • 9 points SemperFun62

    Don't forget jumping off the balcony, breaking his leg, and limping off stage

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  • 5 points whooper1

    That’s certainly a point of view

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  • 1 points buttrnut

    Who is Liam hempsworth?

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