My ex is truly a piece of work. she leaves bloody pads all over the place, leaves food and soda cans until they evaporate/liquify/turn viscous, has been physically violent with me as well as verbally abusive. I’m not looking to do anything illegal or cause physical harm, but I do want some sort of revenge. Bonus points if it’s something I could do that she wouldn’t notice until months later!
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Put her on some mailing lists, like scientology.
My favorite prank ever was to sign up my very rude old man coworker for emails from the opposite of his beliefs. I signed him up for Bernie sanders, Muslim students association, ACLU... Everything he hates. Hes also in his 70s so he doesn't know you can just click unsubscribe. Every morning he would rant about how come Bernie keeps emailing him?! Every morning I'd hold back my laughter. He never figured out it was me
Send in those cards asking for info from the military. Every branch.
That's genius, I totally dig it!
Mormons, JWs, Renewal By Anderson, etc
The ULINE catalogs never stop coming even when you call them and they’re big and annoying!! -us postal employee
Don’t forget solar companies that install with no cost to you.
They. Never. Stop. COMING!!!
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin'
I can't do that to my mail carrier, all my old punk friends are mailmen and Uline catalogs leave them in pain for days!
As a bonus, ULINE is run by right wing dicks, so you can cost them money as well.
I love that you list two massive religious cults and then Renewal by Anderson. lol. But what is WITH that company? Does their weird marketing actually work?
A RBA guy knocked on my door a few months ago. He was like the 5th one that month. I was so pissed. He could see it on my face. I work from home and don’t have time for their door to door bullshit. I flung the door open and just glared at him, didn’t even say anything. He sighed and said “do you want me to just leave?”
I felt bad for the kid because he was just doing his job and I know how hard sales is. But I was incapable of smiling when I opened that door.
Nothing obligates you to answer your door
I do know that. But when I’m on a work call and they keep knocking just to be rude (because they can see me with the window being right there) and my dogs are barking I do have to make it stop. My office is right next to my front door. They’re such assholes.
Honestly I love the video doorbell for this- telling them to go away without having to open the door has been a huge upgrade to working from home.
And they are horribly expensive as well! We called them in to get a quote on replacing a patio door with a French door, standard size. Quoted us 18k . I asked if that was including all the windows in the house. Got the job done thru Home Depot with a builders grade door- which is what I wanted anyways, as it’s a rental. With install and delivery it was $1400.
I love your response to that ridiculous joke of a quote. I’ve gotten a few quotes (not from them) which have caused me to burst out laughing. I’m willing to pay well, but I do not want to be treated like a mark, and scammed. It makes me angry (or I just laugh).
Apparently they massively overcharge but then offer discounts if you complain about the price. I imagine they get a lot of suckers that don’t get multiple quotes, which probably covers the costs of marketing.
RBA victim here 😭 we saw them at our state fair and gave us a free quote when they came by our house. We had to finance ($20k) and I felt really pressured by the whole thing and caved because we really did need new windows. Our house is from the 60s and had aluminum frame windows that would not open. Our new windows are nice, but I'd never go through them again
What is up with that?? Back in the day they were a good company with an excellent product… and now they feel like scammers?
The windows themselves are still good AFAIK. Just buy them from another source.
Hey wait a second. I get an obnoxious amount of mail from Renewal By Anderson. I just thought they were trying hard to get business in my neighborhood. So they’re commonly known for being as obnoxious as Mormon’s? They have sent people to show up at my door.
The Mormons and JWs here respect by no soliciting sign but Renewal by Anderson never has lol
LOL Renewal by Anderson
Go to a local bookstore and they always have a magazine section. Go there and you can find all kinds of neat stuff about farming or animals or bulls and semen all kinds of fun stuff. You're not buying the magazine. I just take the free thing to get a subscription from it. I sent about 20 or so to my late husband's ex. She blamed it on our stepson 🤣🤣🤣
I’ve done that!
Sister!!
Donate $10 in her name and with her info to Habitat for Humanity. I saw a post yesterday where a redditor was complaining about being put on a $h!+-ton of mailing lists after donating. And you're doing a good deed! :-)
Sign her up for like 10 cleaning companies
All branches of the armed services, including ICE.
Catalogs like J Jill have many others included in their database, so it’s not just one store that will send them.
Temu!!!
You can also get free samples of things sent to people in their name . My. Favorites were depends, anal lube, a million different cat foods (the person hated cats) etc. also the comparison websites, ED or charities Will not leave people alone
I signed this racist homophobic asshole I used to know up for queer hookup websites. A LOT of them.
Definitely Scientology, they mailed my grandma for seven years until we moved. We thought that was the end of it but about 2 years later they started mailing her again. They found our new address, pretty resilient
Does anyone know if there’s a way to trace this back to you? I’d love to sign someone up that I hate for some emails but I don’t want it to come back to bite me in the ass
There's always the old shrimp in the curtain rod trick.
Or the tuna and milk paste painted on to skirting boards.
Whoa, that's a whole other level of evil!
r/foundsatan
r/calmdownsatan
Haha I did this to an ex. Hid them in his bed and under the floorboards
Wow, do you know if he ever found them/ figured out what reeked?
No idea hahaha! This was 20 odd years ago I blocked him after he dumped me via text
"I'm sorry, I can't. Don't hate me"
Take the labels off every single can of food.
Take the ice cream out of the freezer and let it melt. Then put it back in the freezer.
Tilt one corner of every picture frame down 1/4 of an inch.
Here’s one thing I did to a former roommate who stole from me and lied about it to the front office.
Sugar dissolved in water in a spray bottle.
Spray absolutely everything so it’s damp but not soaked. Carpets, furniture, under her bed, curtains, everywhere. The sugar will stay in cloth for a long time
So. Many. Bugs.
You can also do this with milk and everything in the place smells like baby vomit.
Someone did it to an ex-colleague of mine, sprayed his entire office as revenge for shafting him in a work situation.
The off milk is so hard to remove and absolutely vile.
Ok what about dissolving sugar in milk to attract bugs and keep the baby vomit smell?
Are you related to Satan? We might be cousins 😂
If you use baby formula instead, you'll never get the smell out of your nose. Ever. Just waiting for a flash of memory and bam. Stank.
Yeah but formula is sooooooo expensive. I don’t believe in wasting lots of money on revenge unless they cost me the same amount or more.
I mean you could check local buy nothing groups for expired formula etc. People with reborn baby dolls get expired formula for their dolls. You could also check local food pantries and mother-baby help centers and ask if they have any expired formula or formula samples? Also keep in mind that pre-mixed formula exists so you could find that out of date and make use of it as well. Can confirm tho, baby formula is a horrifying smell while its still good, let alone if it were to go bad
What about evaporated milk and powdered sugar? Too thick?
working smarter, not harder!
Make sure not to add too much sugar so it preserves the milk.
Even just imagining the smell is making me cringe.
Spray it under chairs, on the backside of curtains and in her underwear drawer.
I once had a container of milk leak in the trunk of my car. I cleaned it up and thought I was good, forgot about the spare tire compartment. A few days later the smell in my car was rancid. I had to get it professionally cleaned to get rid of it.
r/foundsatan
I also had a roommate that stole money from me while I was in the hospital. When confronted she threw me out. So what I did was to take peanut butter and cheese like Velveeta, mix it together, and then spread it around the apartment in places she was likely not to notice like baseboards, the underside of cabinets, on top of the refrigerator, around door and window frames, etc. We had those old jalousie windows that didn't crank all the way shut anymore. We had covered them with plastic. I ripped all the plastic down and put the spread on the window frames. I also poured milk in her car, moved some things on the bottom of the closet and poured milk on the floor and then put the items back, pulled her mattress off the bed, poured milk in the box springs, and put the mattress back. Mutual friends said that within a week the place stunk so bad they stopped going over there. She had terrible insect and mice infestations until she moved out. She wasn't able to eradicate them.
This is actually genius because how do you even start cleaning that
Ive also "heard" that cress seeds strewn EVERYWHERE with a good misting of water can be devastating... either thrown directly onto the mattress and carpets or simply posted through a letterbox with a cup of water :)
Alternatively, bits of chopped fresh fish dropped around the attic or placed inside an air-conditioning machine/fan, or sprinkled on top of kitchen cupboards is also an effective solution.
(I used to squat empty buildings and we had one squat that was abit more long term but in a very dilapidated building. We had this one guy who was a top notch twat, and he refused to move out/join a new crew, so when he went abroad to visit friends/family for two weeks we cressed his entire room. After 2 weeks with the door shut and an electric heater on in there, it looked like an art installation or an album cover or something - everything was carpeted in thick green cress sprouts. They'd gotten into the mattress, the duvet, even in between the skirting boards. Dickhead came back and left for good within the same day.)
That's pro revenge, that's not petty anymore
This, but with milk.
Okay this is the real r/foundsatan
The smell 😭 Absolutely sickening to imagine!
Oof, remind me to never get on your bad side. Dealing with an ant infestation and a hatched spider nest, both gave me nightmares. And everything would feel somewhat sticky. Blegh.
It's not illegal to order 100 live crickets
THAT is dastardly. I won't even give my bearded dragon crickets anymore because she just isn't a good enough huntress and is apparently willing to make them her roommates sometimes. The chirping drove me insane.
When I was in high school my boyfriend had a lizard that adored eating live crickets. Being the klutz that I am, I once tripped with a container of 50 live crickets in his mom's living room. We caught as many as we could, but his poor mom kept hearing chirping for over a month. The poor woman was a great sport about it, but I still felt terrible for her living with the chirps for so long!!
The mental image this gave me 😂
Roaches are worse. We used to feed wood roaches to my frogs and bearded dragons. They can squeeze between the glass doors and now I have an infestation in my bedroom 😩 and I can’t even spray or I will kill my animals.
Trap/lure and relocate. ☹🤗🐦
My buddy and I released 100 live crickets in the bathrooms on the last day of high school.
It worked as intended. Then the school phoned the pet shop to see if they wanted some live crickets...which my friend worked at and where the crickets had been sourced.
you can also order live roaches.....
You can buy them at Petco for around 15-20¢ each. Just go to the register and ask for the large live crickets. Ask for the egg crate and cricket gel in the bag to help keep them alive if you can’t “deliver”them the same day
Or fruit flies…..
Shrimp in the curtain rods. Liquid ass in the filter for the AC unit. Or better yet, record her getting violent and press charges against her.
I came here to say RAW shrimp in the curtain rods, too.
What does the shrimp do? Just cause flies?
Stinks like hell
First the smell. And where it's coming from. You'd never think to look in a curtain rod, would you? You might even tear the house apart trying to figure out where the smell is coming from.
Just be sure to take all the toilet paper and literally anything that can be used as toilet paper. EXCEPT for one or two small squares left on the roll on the holder!
And then put it back facing the wrong direction.
Yes it's the little details that will make it even more frustrating lmao
Turn the tv to a sports channel then accidentally pack the remote control with you...
Add a parental lock code for her favorite channels.
What if she likes sports?
C-SPAN
Truly evil
I see your sports and stealing the remote. And I raise you a "take ALL the batteries in the house with you." Leave the remote, take the batteries. Take the spare batteries out of the drawer too.
They could just turn it off lol that would be annoying for all of 5 seconds
Tuna juice in her shampoo and body wash.
🤢
Leave without a word and without a trace. It will bother her more than anything else you can do. Starve her of the attention she clearly craves.
That's what I was thinking, sounds like she'll get her comeuppance from her own nastiness sooner or later.
Chicken milk bomb. Take a few baby bottles and put a raw strip of chicken in each one, half fill with milk, fatter is better as it slows the process. Put it in a few hidden places. They will eventually explode, in the winter it could take months, in the summer with the heat it goes down to a few weeks, and the smell is next level.
Hahahahaha💀 I'm LOVING this!!!
Try r/unethicallifeprotips
Lots of unethical tips there.
When there, search for "piss discs" 😉
OP this is the place to ask
Take all the batteries. Every single one. Including taking them out of the remote and anything else you can think of.
If it has a lid torque that bitch down like Satan himself is in the mayonnaise
Swap out her moisturizer for mayo
😂
If the utilities are in your name, have them cut off electricity/internet/water on Friday afternoon. Bonus points if it that following Monday is a holiday.
Take all the spoons out the silverware. You can hide them somewhere they won’t think to look.
Take the salt and pepper shakers when you go. Or break/loosen the tops so when they go to season their food it dumps salt/pepper all over their meal.
Poke a small hole in the bottom of all their shoes. One you can’t really see it, but it will let water in when it rains so they’re stuck wearing wet socks and maybe get foot fungus.
Leave the fridge and freezer door cracked when you go.
If they have pantry goods, break the seal on some jars and close them back up. You can also tighten some so much that it’s nearly impossible to open.
Swap the contents of the salt and sugar containers. Salty iced tea is horrifying!
If she is staying in the place you are leaving, I have a list of things you could do. Some of these are suggestions I've seen on Reddit, over the years.
If you have hollow curtain rods, take them down, stuff tuna fish inside of the hollow rods, and then put them back as they were.
You could also take her bloody pads and stick them between the mattress and box spring, deep in the middle of the bed, so they're not easily noticeable, even when changing the bedding.
There's also removing the batteries from every device that needs them.
Replace all of her spices with other spices, so nothing inside is what the label says it should be.
Remove every label from every canned good, so she has no idea what it is without opening it.
Adjust the hinges of every door, so they no longer sit properly, and as such, will not close correctly/the same.
If you have a smart thermostat that allows you to set schedules, you can set it to be super hot or cold, at random points in the day/night. She can manually change it, in the moment, but because it is programmed within the thermostat's schedule to change as you told it to, it will eventually override her adjustments in the moment, and go back to your programmed schedule.
There's removing the plates off of every socket and light switch in the house, or at the very least, every screw that holds them on.
Reset any and all of her passwords for everything.
If she has any subscriptions to anything (Spotify, Netflix, Hulu), you can completely delete and remake her profiles, or like a bunch of things you know she hates, to destroy her perfectly cultivated algorithms.
Hide tuna fish in the vents.
Duct tape raw bacon or cheese slices to the undersides of things, like drawers, because no one looks at the undersides of them. Could also do this to the underneath of dressers, night stands, etc.
Put small piles of sugar in various hidden locations around the house, to attract ants.
Adjust the water flow to faucets and toilets, by turning the water line knobs closer to closed.
Congratulations on getting yourself out of that relationship and I wish you nothing but the best, from here on out!!
(Edited to add more. 😁)
Diabolical! I like the way you think.
😂 Thank you!! I've read/heard MANY revenge stories, as well as, lived through some crazy times with roommates and family drama, so I've gathered loads of ways to tactfully and legally stick it to those who deserve it.
If there are curtains, the rods that hold them up are likely hollow.
Buy a can of sardines, and put a few sardines in one of the curtain rods before fastening them back in place.
Do it like two days before you move out.
Do it in every room with curtains.
Put a dead fish wrapped in newspaper in a remote drawer, or back of a closet in a suitcase
See, but that looks like you did it with intent. If you just spill like some milk in a weird spot, it could be totally “accidental” and still very problematic.
… even better, if it’s something sugary, you might also get a bug infestation
Someone once told me their new house was filled with a horrible stench, like rotten meat. No matter what they did there was no way of getting rid of it. They were desperate until one day they dismantled one of the kitchen cabinets for some unrelated reason and found a whole, putrid steak lodged between the cabinet and the wall.
I'm not saying you can or should do that, but I'm not saying you shouldn't o can't either.
This is some Magnus Archives The Man Upstairs shit. That guy had a Real Obsession with attaching meat to all possible surfaces of his apartment
Spraying milk on every cloth surface would stink more and be less obvious.
You could also use fish juice from your local supermarket.
I’m a big fan of “confuse, don’t abuse” for these things. Take the silverware divider with you. That’s a very annoying one. And take the round tray thing out of the microwave and put it on top of the cabinets - you didn’t steal it, but they will never find it.
Ghost her completely. Leave one day with zero warning and block everywhere and become a ghost
Separate all her pairs of socks, and dip half of each pair in water, return it to the drawer afterwards.
Unscrew all the tops of her nail polish and beauty products.
Diabolical… 😂
Red kool-aid powder on the carpet.
What does that do? I'm assuming it attracts bugs?
No. It stays hidden until it gets wet.
Then it turns bright red. The more water you add the more it spreads.
Diabolical. I like the way you think!
Toilet lid up, every single time. Even put it up after you sit on it.
Hide all the batteries, especially the ones for her vibrator. If she's got one that plugs into the wall, get a tiny padlock to put on the hole in one of the prongs on the plug.
An annoy-a-tron. One of the little things that randomly chirp like a cricket that you can hide somewhere.
That chirpy thing! I just saw a 10 pack on Amazon or something.
Upper decker
Buy a can of surstromming and swap the labels with something she eats.
Upper decker in the toilet
Get an old pair of headphone cut the cord so it just the jack and put it in the tv (assuming your not taking it)
Chnage the wifi name/password
Small peice of electrical tape over the end of remote transmitters or mouse laser
Slightly fray some fabric in the end of 1 of every pair of socks (not enough to make a hole but so one will develop after a few wears/washes)
Any dvds or cds or anything like that swap the discs and cases
Take all the batteries fromnall remotes if the electrical tape thing wont work
You have clearly done this before. Great answers.
Go online and ask for insurance quotes.
Diabolical
Living well is the best revenge. Just step away and don't let your mind fall prey to vindictive or negative thoughts. Congratulations- you are free.
I’d want her to know it was me!
Glitter mailer!!!!!!!
Take all the spices, any batteries in remotes or devices, unscrew all the lids on her makeup/nail polish/ect., empty only her conditioner- leave the shampoo bottle untouched and check for extra conditioner bottles in case, buy foundation the same brand as her current but the closest orange shade, hide all hair brushes, unplug everything, unscrew the lightbulbs half way, put her used pads in either her winter or summer clothes pockets whichever is the opposite of your current season, sign her up for every church/store/mom/email or phone list you can find, put a chirp machine in all the cabinets.
Take a few frozen shrimp, cut in quarter sized pieces, tuck into the toilet paper holder, the part that goes inside the roll. And put some inside the curtain rods. One or two in every heating/ac vent.
"Accidentally" lock the bathroom door when you leave it.
Move all furniture a few inches one way or another.
Slightly cock-eye all pictures and things on the wall.
If she has a pitcher of water in the fridge, poor a little vinegar into it.
Rub her toothbrush on your armpits.
Put all of the dishes upside down in the cabinets.
Slightly angle the TV, not much just enough to make everything different.
Unscrew the top of the salt shaker, so when she puts in on her food, the lid will fall off and she'll get a tone of salt on her plate.
The absolute best revenge is success.
Move out, show her you're better off without her, and go no contact.
Any petty revenge will just validate her shittiness in her own eyes.
Liquid Ass. In the vents, on the carpet, under the bed. DO it.
So many of these things will just punish the property owner. Not that I'm pro big landlord, but foisting pest control, new flooring, new HVAC systems, new ductwork when she moves out due to a stench or pests is not punishing her, just a 3rd party that had nothing to do with his relationship. The best revenge is moving on and living well.
Good point. I didn’t even consider that.
r/UnethicalLifeProTips This is our jam.
Remove the sol out of a couple of her shoes.. but only one.. not both..
If she wears heals sand some of the heal of one of the shoe so its shorter than the other.
unscrew one of the door handles so it will slowly come off after a while.
Mess with the float thing in the toilet so it will constant run.. most people don't know how to fix it. Also turn down the water to the toilet.
Something in air tire valve of the car.. only one tire
Remove every label from every can of food she has. Take a padlock and lock her wooden spoon to a napkin holder. Cut off the toe of every left sock she has
Get a really good job. Make something of yourself, live a good life. Get married and have kids. Then 15 years from now look her up and send her a Christmas card with your wonderful family in front of your amazing house.
I’m not endorsing this but years ago a disgruntled military member put a raw fish up in the drop ceiling. The stench of that decaying fish with the maggots in a tropical climate was devastating. No one ☝️ thought to to check the ceiling until someone said it’s coming form the top like in the Aliens 👽 movie! He was right. The fish was swarming with maggots and the smell was ungodly.
Couldn’t prove the guy had did it but we knew.
The account @whattheish in Instagram is a whole series of 'Revenge ideas from a lawyer.that won't get you atrested'. Some of them are very creative.
Just don't. Don't become her. Get yourself to somewhere emotionally safe and stable, and take your revenge by having a better life than she does.
Best revenge for me was to move on.
Been married for almost 20 years now, while my ex has been in relationships no longer than 6 months, alienated by his family and friends, and the last time I saw him, he was homeless.
Dump an ungodly amount of perfume on a carpet, or into an air vent.
Car insurance lists, health insurance lists, cruise lists… all of those have been persistent and multiple calls a day, as well as fliers and email.
As an April Fools joke one year, a “friend” of mine created a local classifieds ad that said something like, “My loss is your gain, my company issued me a work phone and I no longer need my personal phone. 2 month old iPhone (newest model)”.
Listed at a ridiculously low price. The classifieds company only had an email address for support. Couldn’t get them to take the listing down. My phone was blowing up from 4am till almost noon.
The only reason it stopped was because I had narrowed the culprit down to a couple of friends and I left a voicemail message saying my phone was dead and to call my desk phone and gave my friends desk ph#. He finally pulled the listing. 50/50 chance. Glad I picked the right “friend” first try.
An entire WEEK later, I received a follow up email to my emergency support requests asking if I still needed help and that they couldn’t find the listing. Ugh.
Put a couple of potatoes deep in a cabinet where one would not normally look. It will take a couple months. It will smell like rotting death.
Edit: Cut the potatoes before placing. Speeds up the process. It will turn to black sludge.
Kool-aid drink powder is white until it comes in contact with water. Run a bit dry clothing...
I saw online once that someone said to take the glass disc out of the microwave because then they'd really just have to get a new microwave
In the years to come, probably not the first few years but only later on, you will be much MUCH prouder of yourself when you do not take revenge. Keeping yourself to standards is a sure way to grow happily old and wise. It is a form of self respect. Not judging you for wanting revenge, but speaking from experience and wanting the best for you too. Good luck.
*When they go low, we kick them in the face. There! Fixed it for ya! 😉
Haha, I remember a website every time someone mentions this… crabrevenge.com from 16 years ago. They HAD a disclaimer that it was a novelty item and to be careful with usage. Disclaimer was for legal liability reasons.
Website has been gone for a while now, but [here’s proof from The Online Clinic in the UK about it.
Put fish in the vents or behind the walls.
I had been gifted prank stink packs. When you break them, they release a chemical that stinks really bad. I broke one in every room with carpet. They gave them to me, so I figured I would just return them. It said it can wash out of fabric so technically I didn't destroy anything. I have always wondered how many carpet shampoos it took to get the smell out. Oh and it was a duplex, so he was stuck smelling it too lol
Edit: You could also do the old "frozen fish in the vent" style prank. Bonus if it is next to their closet or dresser so it soaks into their clothes. Frozen matters, because it will take hours to start stinking and you can be long gone lol
Unscrew that caps off the curtain rods (if you have any). Insert shrimp. Replace the caps.
She will never find the source of the smell.
Or if that’s too close to actual chemical warfare for your tastes, take all the batteries and toilet roll with you.
Open tuna cans and leave them under the sinks and closets
Car insurance quotes!! Plug in her info into a multi-company Car insurance quotes site.
I just did mine last night because I was curious. Thought I’d just receive emails. Nope.
I feel like I’m in a lake with piranhas nibbling at me. No less than 50 calls/texts emails by this morning.
Crikey.
from the sound of it .. letting her alone with her own filth should do it.
when it starts smelling like human decomp, call that in.
You could have some very attractive happy people help you move out while she watches. Ghost. Block.
Take all the light bulbs out of all the fixtures thats my two cents
Take all the clothing hangers when you leave.
The best revenge is just forget about her and move on. Write a letter and leave it somewhere it will take a while for her to find. I’m a big believer in karma. You’ll be dragged to her level and who knows how she could retaliate. There’s always someone out there crazier than you are.
Nair in her shampoo bottle
Do you have a ceiling fan? Glitter on the ceiling fan is dormant until you turn on the fan.
Please don't forget to sign them up with the Scientologists
Sardines in curtain poles (or a variation)
Whatever you do, don't get an Oyster Mushroom growing kit because you can never get rid of the spores!
Put shrimp inside the empty curtain rods.
Take the tv remote batteries
The best revenge is living well. Get therapy and let her be jealous of you for decades.
Don't do it, take the high road. What's the saying? Living well is the best revenge?
put raw shrimp in the curtain rods, or behind light switch plates.
Take all the caps to her makers, permanent markers, pens, basically any writing utensil.
When my ex moved out I took one boot from his brand new pair. Pretty proud of that one.
You’re being abused. Do you have photos of bruises from her hitting you? Do you have a recording of her verbal abuse?
Yes to bruises, including a black eye, no recording of verbal
Viking Cruises sends out a tree’s worth of catalogs every week.
Sprays milk everywhere Powdered mashed potatoes in her garden (welcome rain) Hair removal cream in her shampoo Razor blade in her car door Glitter everywhere Sands her bathtub
Evil.
For stank, get doe estrus from a hunting store. Catfish bait is bad too.
But just putting her information out there for mailing lists & scammers will last a while.
More long-term & involved... Get old keys, not to anything, and put a tag with her name & phone on them. "Lose" them one by one, wherever you travel. People will be calling her for a long time, trying to helpfully return her lost keys.
Hid shrimp shells and open eggs around her place before you move out. Inside the curtain rods and vents
Leave small chunks of meat in warm hidden areas. Flies and maggots galore.
This is more immediate but easy and very annoying. Take all the extra toilet paper, garbage bags, and every random light bulb that you can find in closets, outside, table lamps, ovens, plus replacement lamps. Places that won't be immediately obvious. Change the Wi-Fi password. Put a hold on her mail. Unplug everything.
Not sure if anyone suggested this yet but go to the local pet store, buy a bunch of crickets. Release them when you’re ready to move out
Take them out for a farewell dinner; make it go as late as you can. Hire someone to apparently deep-clean the place while they're out. When they come back and have no idea where they are, until they go to bed and discover all the garbage there.
Hide some shrimp tails in the curtain rods. No curtain rods stick it somewhere in the couch. After a bit they will stink.
Take the panel off the side of the bath. Place a large fish as far in there as you can, out of plain signt. Put the panel back.
Put the disgusting things back in her room, use tongs. Leave you nasty stuff around..
Block access to anything you pay for, like WIFI.
Is there any way to get out faster?
Write her phone number on every bathroom stall in town with a note that says “for a good time call…”
Steal the toilet plunger. When it’s needed, only then she will notice.
Give her foot cream and tell her it was lotion and give her some calteen bars and tell her that it will make her lose weight but really it’s full of calories and get Aaron Matthew’s to break up with her.