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This dude thinks he's proving a point. But maybe, just maybe...none of those people have done such a thing. That dude touches me, my wife, or daughters hair like that, we're gonna have real serious issue.
It took me too long to figure out why this was weird. For some reason people touch my hair and tell me itâs pretty. Itâs not even all that special, just long and wavy. I guess Iâve gotten used to it.
This guy does some funny stuff in a satirical fashion, but this ainât it. He couldâve just as easily asked if he could touch her hair to make his point(I had that happen from white people all through high school when I had dreads). This is the result of alway having to up the ante to drive views and engagement.
As a black person, I have never experienced this. And if someone were to ask to touch my hair, I wouldn't be upset or offended by that. People are curious about things that seem unique to them. That's normal. If someone touches you out of nowhere obviously that's just rude, but going around doing that same rude behavior to demonstrate that nobody enjoys it isn't really making a point.
Worked at a mostly white daycare. I had to have a lesson with my two year olds when the cutest little black girl started in our room. All of them wanted to touch her curls. After a talk and reminders they started asking to touch her hair. By then she was over it and told them no and theyâd then ask her to play. Body autonomy should be taught as soon as possible in life.
I wonder if this isnât a thing of yesteryear that has been âeliminatedâ by access to social media and the internet.
I loved in a major metropolitan city for 40ish years and always thought exactly like you.. this isnât a real thing. This is a TV or movie trope.
Then I moved to the country. I absolutely can see people where I live now acting this way 40 years ago. They might only see a dozen black people in their life.
But thatâs all a lot of words to say.. I donât know.
I'm assuming you mean 3c or 4c hair? I have that already. And I've worn my natural hair in tons of different styles over the years. Sometimes people ask to touch my hair, but nobody has just walked up to me and touched it without permission.
Crazy though, because as a white dude who went to school in a mostly black school, you will possibly get your ass kicked if you just touch a black man or womanâs hair w/o asking.
You are right though, as people are curious, and I genuinely like to learn about people or where they are from, etc.
I just ask where the accent is from, when I notice someone w/it. I like to find out if I m right and detected the right country and how they liked it there in case I would want to go.
Maybe its because I'm an introvert, but I would never touch any stranger's hair or body on purpose. And I would assume that they would not want me to do so even if I did have that desire.
While working as a receptionist my coworker (a 50+ yo black woman) approached and touched our clients new curls (a 20-22 yo black woman) and then said âoops, sorry I just pulled a white woman.âÂ
I was like wtf does that even mean? And then when she explained to me that white women apparently run around touching black peoples hair and I still couldnât fathom walking up and touching a strangers hair.Â
If someone touches me thatâs a call to start screaming.Â
I donât want to touch you, your stuff, or have you touch me or mine if I donât know you. And even if I do know you, ask first.Â
My autism leaves me socially uninterested - I donât suffer more than a handshake.Â
And I will scream.Â
I wash my hands 36x doing the dishes. The thought of a stranger nope.Â
(Hair is dead cells. To me, it is hard to see past it conceptually. It is like if you have ever been put off trying to eat an egg.)
I can see this being a good point for people that the guy sees being weird towards black people or touching them without permission. For example, if someone touches someoneâs hair and is weird about it in front of him? Doing it back to them is acceptable and makes a point.
But doing it to random people for committing the heinous crimes of being white, being female, and having hair? Thereâs no real point made there, itâs not fighting fire with fire. Itâs just going after innocent people in the name of making a point.
He's doing it to white people because y'all constantly do it to us. Just a reminder that y'all still kill people for the crime of them not being white, quit your pearl clutching.
Hereâs the thing though. Doing it to people who arenât doing shit to you or being racist at all only perpetuates the issues. Fighting fire with fire only works for the people who are lighting those fires in the first place.
Look, as a black women who grew up around nearly all white people. This happened to me all the time. It has died down somewhat in the past 10 years after many white folks have FINALLY gotten them memo that itâs extremely weird and uncouth to do.
I do think it is kinda funny to see their reactions cause like SEE HOW FUCKING WEIRD THAT IS? ITâS WEIRD, AINâT IT?! Now you see how invasive it is?! NOW you have a problem with it?!
That was one of the only ways I got white peers to see how strange their behavior towards me was growing up. Was to mimic whatever weird behavior they did towards me and publicly call them out for it.
That being said, doing this to strangers who have not done anything to you is not cool. Touching people without permission is not cool. Especially unwise as a black man to go up to unsuspecting white women and touching them, dangerous even. But also letâs not use the âThis is how you make people racistâ angle. It should not be that easy, what the hell.
Going around doing this to white people who havenât done anything is weird behavior. Invading peopleâs space and touching them nonconsensually is never okay. The way to make more white people understand what it is like is not to violate their boundaries
I'm pretty sure he knows these ladies as they are all smiles once they see who it is. It does go to show the exact conversation that I had to have on the daily when I lived and worked at an ice-cream store in small-town Texas for a while.
And for people saying: "this is how non-racist people become racist" yall are smoking absolute grade A meth. Just say you're needing 13 reasons why to hate other people.
I get it. I really do. But no. This isn't the way.
The way is reacting like the white lady here does initially. Make them feel like the creeps they are. SHAME THEM.
"Neither civilized reason nor Christian love would cause any of those people to treat you as they presumably wanted to be treated; only the fear of your power to retaliate would cause them to do that, or to seem to do it, which was (and is) good enough."
- James Baldwin
Idk if this is the thing that'd "turn someone racist". That's absolutely wild. Idk how that many people agree with you lmao. I'm not even a lefty or anything, but thats the most insane thing to say. Ya'll have to already be racist if thats the thing to "push you to the edge"...
You shouldnât assume I have not read but if you know a book that proves scientifically that racism is natural and itâs not written by a racist in racist times
Please share the name
The Routledge Handbook of Philosophy of the Social Mind (Chapter: The Evolution of Tribalism) â Explores how emotions, stereotypes, and norms shape tribal behavior and ingroup/outgroup distinctions
Encyclopedia of Evolutionary Psychological Science (Entry: InâGroup Versus OutâGroup) â A concise overview of how humans cognitively sort themselves into coalitions of âusâ vs. âthemâ
The Cambridge Handbook of the Psychology of Prejudice â Includes evolutionary approaches to stereotyping and prejudice, showing how tribal instincts manifest in modern biases
Evolution and the Psychology of Intergroup Conflict (The Male Warrior Hypothesis) â A Royal Society publication examining how male coalitions historically drove intergroup conflict and tribal warfare
The Tribal Mind and the Psychology of Collectivism (Joseph P. Forgas, 2024) â A recent book analyzing how tribal narratives distort rationality, influence politics, and shape modern polarization
You asked for books that proof scientifically that racism is natural and I provided 5 examples. I am not the one who is confused. You go read those books first, then get back to me so we can have an actual discussion
I wanted to be clear that I donât agree with you. It would be wrong of me to assume what you are saying rather than be clear before I disagree.
Racism is not natural. Discrimination certainly is but not based upon race.
Nice try though
Back to the point no way to be turned into a racist as a thinking adult because one persons actions doesnât speak for their entire race thatâs irrational. Not even a group of peopleâs actions speak for their entire race.
I wanted to be clear that I donât agree with you. It would be wrong of me to assume what you are saying rather than be clear before I disagree.
Racism is not natural. Discrimination certainly is but not based upon race.
Correlation isn't causation.
Way to not get my point. It's very natural, just not for the same reasons.
Ask yourself this, if it isn't natural why do we do it? What we do automatically MAKES it natural.
Back to the point no way to be turned into a racist as a thinking adult because one persons actions doesnât speak for their entire race thatâs irrational. Not even a group of peopleâs actions speak for their entire race.
And yet we do see it as that, and again that's natural. Ever seen a sexual assault victim react to men? Although you very much know that not ALL men our evil. But we in our brains very much link things together.
And to add to it: we all our racist, EVERYONE of us, to say we are not is not only kidding yourself but it also let's you not fix the racism. Acknowledging it is the first step.
Yeah, that was insane to say. I hate the âYouâre making me into a worse personâ angle. Your morals couldnât have been all the great to start with.
That being said, yeah, this isnât a great approach.
I'd argue most people judge another group of people for the worst examples of the other group, in general.
Happens everywhere and while morals and non-generalisation works against that, internet makes those examples appear everywhere. People think that those bad examples are the norm.
Slippery slope in every way, on every side.
Best era was early Dave Chapelle, while making fun of stereotypicall racism and prejudgements, everyone could laugh about themselves, growing together, overcome the stereotypes together by laughing together. I miss those times.
I donât disagree with that. Itâs just disappointing cause a sensible person should be able to not let poor behavior of some tarnish their views of an entire race. But as we all know, it doesnât work like that.
Not a big a Chapelle fan or particularly nostalgic for him, but I understand your angle.
This doesn't prove anything though? The people who touch people's hair aren't gonna change their minds from this. It just creeped out people who were minding their own business.
You can go ahead and âwithdrawâ yourself from a reddit comment section lol. But you saying âyâall donât like it when the tables are turnedâ sounds like youâre saying all white people do this. Donât act like it doesnât read exactly like that lol.
The problem is that when I clarified, you still continued doubling down. Itâs like you just want to pick a fight. If you keep pressing it instead of accepting that there was a miscommunication then I will block you.
Edit:
You do know Iâm mixed right? Look at my avatar. White and black. I know people can be racist against their own race but this ainât it chief.
Your clarification wasnât clear at all thats why i said â i dont see what your sayingâ and not âno your definitely a racistâ but whatever man lol
I've seen this guy do this before. He's attempting to prove how people react to "reverse racism". He's done it to any white person he sees, not just women. So he's proving racism, while being racist. (And ultra creepy to boot.)
I've seen videos like this before, and it always makes me think of the time I had to go to HR because two Black girls at work wouldn't stop touching my hair "because it's so soft."
Literally would walk up behind me and run their hands through my hair.
This happened to me a lot in high school. I once met a good friend by her playing with my hair while sitting in the back of me in class one day. Apparently my hair looked super soft that day.
This also happened to me a lot in high school! I have really long, thick butt length blonde curly hair and everyone wanted to braid it or play with it. Like please stop touching me haha.
I'll never understand touching someone's hair without asking, in any context. It's weirdo behavior from anyone to anyone.
And my hair is soft! Don't be weird and ask and I'm almost always fine with it. Well, mostly. I'd have made them wash their hands first, we worked in a restaurant. That part made it worse for me.
Black girls used to always touch my buzzcut back in school. Kids are simply ignorant, and looking to expand their schemas. This leads to inappropriate behavior that mostly gets sorted out by adulthood, and in turn discrimination becomes more veiled, nuanced, and thus intentional and malicious. Yes, black people are going to experience this more often as they are normally the minority population throughout America, but this behavior also happens when the majorities are flipped. Thereâs a reason why one of our first major rules is hands and feet to ourselves.
Iâll never understand why people think itâs okay to do something to someone just because they happen to look similar to another person who did it to you.
Donât love this trend because it is just âwell a bad thing happened to me so I will do it to othersâ but the point is very valid and this example was handled well on both sides
It happened more so when I was younger and I don't know if that's better or worse but yes. I've had strangers come and touch my hair. Sometimes they ask first.
Iâm white and attended predominantly black schools growing up. The girls behind me used to always touch and play with my hair without asking. It didnât bother me then but Iâm more aware of dirty hands now so I wouldnât allow it today. Just sayin it goes both ways.
I personally would also be more comfortable if it was some chick coming up and touching my head then some random guy. Like get the fuck away from me, dude.
I disagree with you about your breakdown of assault vs battery torts, but this is a very well researched response.
The woman was made aware of the imminent physical contact by his statement of asking to touch her hair. She did not give consent and had imminent fear of unwanted physical contact. That meets the general elements of assault (intentional act, reasonable apprehension, imminent harm, lack of consent).
When she actually was touched, that would be a second tort of battery. The incident meets the elements for battery but the damages would likely be minimal.
In any event, the distinction between civil vs criminal elements coupled with not knowing the jurisdiction theyâre in means weâll likely never know.
Again, yours was a really good response. No snark.
It's usually older white people who do this, and it usually happens more to black women. But men get it as well. I'm mixed and don't have traditionally "black" hair, so I never experienced it myself, but have been out with relatives and had people walk up and ask to touch their hair.
And the part asking where they're from and saying that they speak a well, I get this a lot because I look "exotic" and people ask what race I am or where I'm from all the time. I get it less now that I live in an area with a large population of of Latino and Indigenous Americans, as I look a lot like them. But when I was growing up in the south, I'd get asked where I was from a lot.
So just because you haven't seen this happen, doesn't mean that it doesn't happen. Because it does. And often enough that it's become a problem talked about often in black culture.
Lmaoo for real right? Hell, I mentioned this post to my husband and he was talking about how when he was younger and had full curls (he's Latino and has VERY curly hair. He used to have it looking a lot like Slash has his), and he would get people asking to touch his hair all the time. And not just fellow teenagers, but adults and elderly people as well. And sometimes people wouldn't even ask.
It's not something you'd normally just notice in public unless it's actually happening to you. I shave my head and have gotten countless bald wipes. Even just last night. It usually doesn't bother me that much.
I've had people come and pet my hair. I had a lady follow me with her hand out stretched, waiting until I stopped moving so she could touch it. Another lady ran behind me and pulled on my hair so she could see if my curls would bounce. Once people think your hair is pretty, you become public property.
Personal space for everyone, please. I've had kinky curly hair all of my life. It is indeed annoying when people in the desk behind me would play with my hair, or girls would beg to straighten it at sleepovers only to give up halfway through because my hair is so thick.
But now that I'm an adult, not a soul has touched my hair, or even asked.
This grown man needs to keep his hands to himself. If you are getting your hair touched, make your point then, whether it's a conversation or an assault charge.
Lucky! I have curly hair that everyone loves. I had a woman run behind me and pull my hair because she wanted to see if my curls would bounce. They do as she happily informed me. This grown woman thought it was completely okay to pull my hair for fun.
Itâs wrong to touch a strangerâs hair. You said it yourself and we all agree. It doesnât matter that the races are reversed in the video âtO mAkE a PoInTâ because like we all agreed on, itâs not ok.
That is the dumbest take I've read in a while. What has that lady done specifically to invite a random person to touch her without permission? Point out the behavior by pointing it out, not by violating someone's space.
And did this lady touch your hair specifically? No? Ok then why does she need to get her hair touched by a random ass person? She didnât even do anything. Take your aggressions out on the people that deserve it but donât blame random people who were minding their own business.
She should press charges for assault and take him to civil court for whatever money he made on that video plus court costs. The depo from the civil suit can help with the criminal case.
At worst, itâs battery. For the love of God, Redditors need to stop calling everything assault when they donât even understand the charge. Not defending what this guy did, but stop blowing shit way out of proportion.
Common law assault is defined as âthe act of threatening or attempting to inflict immediate harmful or offensive physical contact, causing the victim to fear such contact is imminent.â Many jurisdictions combine the two concepts, so either is appropriate.
So you might want to break out Blackâs Law Dictionary before being confidently incorrect on legal stuff.
âAssault and battery is a modern legal term which combines assault with the separate charge of battery. Assault refers to the wrong act of causing someone to reasonably fear imminent harm. This means that the fear must be something a reasonable person would foresee as threatening to them. Battery refers to the actual wrong act of physically harming someone. These are the terms as they historically have been used, but in the modern context, they can mean many different versions of causing harm. For example, the term assault in state statutes can refer to the common law assault, battery, or both simultaneously. Also, assault and battery can refer to a tort charge or a criminal charge, and the factors and definitions of the charges differ depending on the type of charge.
[Last reviewed in March of 2025 by the Wex Definitions Team]â
Yes, the legal definitions of assault and battery can vary depending on the jurisdiction (Texas and Ohio, for example, combines assault and battery into one charge for CRIMINAL cases). However, statutory law takes precedent over common law and most states keep assault and battery as separate charges. Would a reasonable person say these women feared imminent harmful contact? No. At most, they could sue in a civil case claiming battery (unwanted touching)⌠but good luck getting any money from it since there arenât any damages.
So sure, you made some pop culture reference I didnât get. Youâre still wrong about the difference between assault and battery.
On Reddit, you can be racist towards white people and apparently they get so butt hurt. Look at the commentsâŚ. âPress charges and file civil suitâ try being black in America. This is literally something that happens to us a Lot. No one would even care if we tried to call the cops for something like this.
Iâm a white male with curly hair and women are always touching my hair and saying they wish they had natural curls like mine, never bothered me because I donât have a victim mentality, and nobody can tell me they wouldnât at least want to touch Lucasâ hair from Stranger Things, that guys got a touchable barnet if I ever did see one
Glad it never bothered you, but why so hostile towards the people it dies bother?
Itâs not a victim mentality to not want to be touched without permission.
Anybody whoâs got time to complain about something as trivial as their hair being touched want nothing but to be a victim, how does it affect anyone? Iâm not saying folk should go around doing it but itâs not exactly life changing if someone touches your fucking hair is it?
Why are you so set on making this about the victim mentality? You agree that people shouldn't be touched without permission, thats where it should end.
I don't think you're ignorant but this comment chain makes you come off as ignorant and self-centered. You're acting like your opinion is the only opinion that matters and everyone else should conform to your views.
The whole point of the video is to highlight how white people touch black peoples hair like itâs exclusive to them being victims of it, guys a cringy little bitch who needs to grow up
I understand the premise of the video explaining it doesn't answer the question. Did the people in the video that got uncomfortable have victim mentality?
Canât say 100% they donât look comfortable about it but I doubt theyâre going to base their whole identity and create videos about it to prove a point about a potential small issue not exclusive to one race
It was easy to generalize the circumstances before but it isn't now. I'm also a white male with curly hair and I know that women parading around to touch my hair ended when I was about 15, I can also understand the difference between your mom's friends telling you how beautiful your curls are and a stranger coming up to touch your child's hair because "the texture is so different". Your generalization of one circumstance but not the other is what makes you seem ignorant. I hope that the ignorance is bred from you not having been exposed to the harsh reality that your experiences, especially on the other side of the pond, might not be the same experiences other demographics face and not your lack of willingness to try and understand the situation and empathize. But it is weird that you find the interaction wrong when it makes someone uncomfortable on one side of the aisle but it's just fine and a normal thing when it makes someone uncomfortable on the other side of the isle.
I wouldn't necessarily try to get the point across this way, but that also doesn't mean that it's bad to bring light to the situation. Remember just because something doesn't affect you doesn't mean it doesn't affect other people.
This is a real asshole move. What if someone touched his mother/grandmother/little sister. Would he find that amusing? Would the people who watch this shit find that amusing? Probably not? If that is the case, donât do it to others.
To be fair - the skit would work better if it was a black or Asian woman. Itâs generally white woman that do this to mixed, black, or Asian women. And it still happens far too often and is played off as the victim being âangryâ if they appropriately respond negatively to being treated like a doll.
Who? Who walks up to random black people and touches their hair? I understand what a microagression is and how it relates in particular to black hair, but when has any random person touched any random stranger's hair? That is not a thing.
A random European American man crossed the street to touch my daughterâs hair as we were walking and I held her hand. I WAS HOLDING HER HAND!!!! We are not objects. Just because it doesnât happen to you doesnât mean itâs not happening!!! Wtf!?
How can u say itâs not a thing that is so ignorant lol im black with big curly hair and i have had white people do this all time! Im 32 and can say its happened more as an adult than when i was younger. It hasnât happened to you so itâs not real.. great logic
Youâve lived a blessed life. I grew up watching strangers do this to my sister and cousins pretty regularly when we traveled outside of our area (NYC) for vacation. And it would happen to me with acquaintances if I grew my hair out while growing up.
Now itâs rare that I see someone do it to a full grown adult - but I have seen it. Itâs a bullshit whether the person is 15 or 25. You shouldnât be walking up and touching the hair of strangers uninvited.
The whole âwhere are you fromâ happens less to black people than to mixed and Asian people.
There are a lot of people on this sub that seem dedicated to downvoting any confirmation that racism might actually exist outside of saying the n-word with a hard r.
It's rare but it's happened to me on two occasions. I'm a man so I thought it was some kind of weird drive by flirting but in both occasions they had an open mouthed fascinated expression, apologized and left.
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he has another skit where he clutches his purse whenever a white person walks past him. lol đ.
This dude thinks he's proving a point. But maybe, just maybe...none of those people have done such a thing. That dude touches me, my wife, or daughters hair like that, we're gonna have real serious issue.
Two wrongs, my dude. Two wrongs.
It took me too long to figure out why this was weird. For some reason people touch my hair and tell me itâs pretty. Itâs not even all that special, just long and wavy. I guess Iâve gotten used to it.
This guy does some funny stuff in a satirical fashion, but this ainât it. He couldâve just as easily asked if he could touch her hair to make his point(I had that happen from white people all through high school when I had dreads). This is the result of alway having to up the ante to drive views and engagement.
Sexual battery is not cool
I agree itâs rude but how is it sexual?
In what way was this sexual? Get fucking real.
Ya donât say?
As a black person, I have never experienced this. And if someone were to ask to touch my hair, I wouldn't be upset or offended by that. People are curious about things that seem unique to them. That's normal. If someone touches you out of nowhere obviously that's just rude, but going around doing that same rude behavior to demonstrate that nobody enjoys it isn't really making a point.
Worked at a mostly white daycare. I had to have a lesson with my two year olds when the cutest little black girl started in our room. All of them wanted to touch her curls. After a talk and reminders they started asking to touch her hair. By then she was over it and told them no and theyâd then ask her to play. Body autonomy should be taught as soon as possible in life.
Maybe I just live in a white community but my hairs always getting touchedÂ
I wonder if this isnât a thing of yesteryear that has been âeliminatedâ by access to social media and the internet.
I loved in a major metropolitan city for 40ish years and always thought exactly like you.. this isnât a real thing. This is a TV or movie trope.
Then I moved to the country. I absolutely can see people where I live now acting this way 40 years ago. They might only see a dozen black people in their life.
But thatâs all a lot of words to say.. I donât know.
Be a woman with 3 or 4 hair and that will change.
I'm assuming you mean 3c or 4c hair? I have that already. And I've worn my natural hair in tons of different styles over the years. Sometimes people ask to touch my hair, but nobody has just walked up to me and touched it without permission.
I'm a dude and they still do it. One curl is all it takes.
r/asablackman
So you think I'm lying? Lmfao.
Crazy though, because as a white dude who went to school in a mostly black school, you will possibly get your ass kicked if you just touch a black man or womanâs hair w/o asking.
You are right though, as people are curious, and I genuinely like to learn about people or where they are from, etc.
I just ask where the accent is from, when I notice someone w/it. I like to find out if I m right and detected the right country and how they liked it there in case I would want to go.
Some ppl just donât like to be touched tf lol
Maybe its because I'm an introvert, but I would never touch any stranger's hair or body on purpose. And I would assume that they would not want me to do so even if I did have that desire.
While working as a receptionist my coworker (a 50+ yo black woman) approached and touched our clients new curls (a 20-22 yo black woman) and then said âoops, sorry I just pulled a white woman.âÂ
I was like wtf does that even mean? And then when she explained to me that white women apparently run around touching black peoples hair and I still couldnât fathom walking up and touching a strangers hair.Â
If someone touches me thatâs a call to start screaming.Â
I donât want to touch you, your stuff, or have you touch me or mine if I donât know you. And even if I do know you, ask first.Â
My autism leaves me socially uninterested - I donât suffer more than a handshake.Â
And I will scream.Â
I wash my hands 36x doing the dishes. The thought of a stranger nope.Â
(Hair is dead cells. To me, it is hard to see past it conceptually. It is like if you have ever been put off trying to eat an egg.)
[removed]
lol. you're a weirdo.
I remember getting downvoted to oblivion cause I said assuming all Indians were uncivilized is racist?!?! Thought that was common sense at this pointÂ
You just joined em lol
I can see this being a good point for people that the guy sees being weird towards black people or touching them without permission. For example, if someone touches someoneâs hair and is weird about it in front of him? Doing it back to them is acceptable and makes a point.
But doing it to random people for committing the heinous crimes of being white, being female, and having hair? Thereâs no real point made there, itâs not fighting fire with fire. Itâs just going after innocent people in the name of making a point.
He's doing it to white people because y'all constantly do it to us. Just a reminder that y'all still kill people for the crime of them not being white, quit your pearl clutching.
Hereâs the thing though. Doing it to people who arenât doing shit to you or being racist at all only perpetuates the issues. Fighting fire with fire only works for the people who are lighting those fires in the first place.
It's an excuse to harass women in public, which every single woman already has to deal with. Why is it always a man "proving a point" in these videos?
Look, as a black women who grew up around nearly all white people. This happened to me all the time. It has died down somewhat in the past 10 years after many white folks have FINALLY gotten them memo that itâs extremely weird and uncouth to do.
I do think it is kinda funny to see their reactions cause like SEE HOW FUCKING WEIRD THAT IS? ITâS WEIRD, AINâT IT?! Now you see how invasive it is?! NOW you have a problem with it?!
That was one of the only ways I got white peers to see how strange their behavior towards me was growing up. Was to mimic whatever weird behavior they did towards me and publicly call them out for it.
That being said, doing this to strangers who have not done anything to you is not cool. Touching people without permission is not cool. Especially unwise as a black man to go up to unsuspecting white women and touching them, dangerous even. But also letâs not use the âThis is how you make people racistâ angle. It should not be that easy, what the hell.
Perfect way to make the point. This happens without a recording normally to people who are not white.
Itâs hilarious for people who have experienced it to see the outrage of white people when it happens to them.
Going around doing this to white people who havenât done anything is weird behavior. Invading peopleâs space and touching them nonconsensually is never okay. The way to make more white people understand what it is like is not to violate their boundaries
That last sentence is unclear. The way you make more white people understand what it is like is by doing what?
I'm pretty sure he knows these ladies as they are all smiles once they see who it is. It does go to show the exact conversation that I had to have on the daily when I lived and worked at an ice-cream store in small-town Texas for a while.
And for people saying: "this is how non-racist people become racist" yall are smoking absolute grade A meth. Just say you're needing 13 reasons why to hate other people.
I get it. I really do. But no. This isn't the way.
The way is reacting like the white lady here does initially. Make them feel like the creeps they are. SHAME THEM.
"Neither civilized reason nor Christian love would cause any of those people to treat you as they presumably wanted to be treated; only the fear of your power to retaliate would cause them to do that, or to seem to do it, which was (and is) good enough."
- James Baldwin
Youâre right, this isnât the way, but the fact is many people just donât feel shame when they act like this, thatâs the problem.
This is such an effective way of turning non-racist people into racist people. Everyone should stop doing this
Idk if this is the thing that'd "turn someone racist". That's absolutely wild. Idk how that many people agree with you lmao. I'm not even a lefty or anything, but thats the most insane thing to say. Ya'll have to already be racist if thats the thing to "push you to the edge"...
lol you can be turned into a racist when you already are not racist and not a child.
Youâre speaking as if being racist comes from a cause of the people you are racist to doing something to you
Ofcourse you can. We are shaped by our experiences and are heavily emotional beings.
It absolutely can yes. It can also come from how you were raised.
Racism is our natural instincts turned against us.
Can you share with me what natural instinct youâre describing and how it can be natural when race based on color is not natural ?
You should read a book on the evolution of social behaviour before continuing this conversation.
You shouldnât assume I have not read but if you know a book that proves scientifically that racism is natural and itâs not written by a racist in racist times Please share the name
The Routledge Handbook of Philosophy of the Social Mind (Chapter: The Evolution of Tribalism) â Explores how emotions, stereotypes, and norms shape tribal behavior and ingroup/outgroup distinctions
Encyclopedia of Evolutionary Psychological Science (Entry: InâGroup Versus OutâGroup) â A concise overview of how humans cognitively sort themselves into coalitions of âusâ vs. âthemâ
The Cambridge Handbook of the Psychology of Prejudice â Includes evolutionary approaches to stereotyping and prejudice, showing how tribal instincts manifest in modern biases
Evolution and the Psychology of Intergroup Conflict (The Male Warrior Hypothesis) â A Royal Society publication examining how male coalitions historically drove intergroup conflict and tribal warfare
The Tribal Mind and the Psychology of Collectivism (Joseph P. Forgas, 2024) â A recent book analyzing how tribal narratives distort rationality, influence politics, and shape modern polarization
Which of these speaks about race the social constructed idea and how its natural?
You are confusing race based on skin color with tribalism.
You asked for books that proof scientifically that racism is natural and I provided 5 examples. I am not the one who is confused. You go read those books first, then get back to me so we can have an actual discussion
It's in and outgroups and how we bond with each other and view outgroups with suspicion.
Due to historical reasons we are very divided on race and you often aren't equally exposed to white or black or any other color of people.
That's the very short explanation, but you could have thought of this yourself. It isn't very difficult.
I wanted to be clear that I donât agree with you. It would be wrong of me to assume what you are saying rather than be clear before I disagree.
Racism is not natural. Discrimination certainly is but not based upon race.
Nice try though
Back to the point no way to be turned into a racist as a thinking adult because one persons actions doesnât speak for their entire race thatâs irrational. Not even a group of peopleâs actions speak for their entire race.
Correlation isn't causation.
Way to not get my point. It's very natural, just not for the same reasons.
Ask yourself this, if it isn't natural why do we do it? What we do automatically MAKES it natural.
And yet we do see it as that, and again that's natural. Ever seen a sexual assault victim react to men? Although you very much know that not ALL men our evil. But we in our brains very much link things together.
And to add to it: we all our racist, EVERYONE of us, to say we are not is not only kidding yourself but it also let's you not fix the racism. Acknowledging it is the first step.
If this video is the reason to turn racist for some people, they were always certain that there was a reason to be racist. Wild statement actually.
Yeah, that was insane to say. I hate the âYouâre making me into a worse personâ angle. Your morals couldnât have been all the great to start with.
That being said, yeah, this isnât a great approach.
I'd argue most people judge another group of people for the worst examples of the other group, in general.
Happens everywhere and while morals and non-generalisation works against that, internet makes those examples appear everywhere. People think that those bad examples are the norm.
Slippery slope in every way, on every side.
Best era was early Dave Chapelle, while making fun of stereotypicall racism and prejudgements, everyone could laugh about themselves, growing together, overcome the stereotypes together by laughing together. I miss those times.
I donât disagree with that. Itâs just disappointing cause a sensible person should be able to not let poor behavior of some tarnish their views of an entire race. But as we all know, it doesnât work like that.
Not a big a Chapelle fan or particularly nostalgic for him, but I understand your angle.
Iâm here for it
Unsurprisingly hide your history
Ew perv
he really thought he did something hereâŚ.
wtf did I even watch. Heâs an interesting feller
Weird mfâer.
Man can people just stop being weird for like 5 minutes
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This doesn't prove anything though? The people who touch people's hair aren't gonna change their minds from this. It just creeped out people who were minding their own business.
I donât go around touching people, so what the fuck are you going on about?
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Well apparently your not since this guy doesnât piss you off. If you like touching people youâre weird mate. Full stop.
You hang around weird fucking people then.
No Iâve just had a lot of people touch my hair without my permission.
Ok
Your so right lets judge a whole race based on the actions of a few people lmao. your silly
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It still sounds like your just grouping all white people together i dont see what your saying
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But tables have turned how? Are you saying this comment section is full of people who touch strangers hair? Thatâs quite the claim good sir
You can go ahead and âwithdrawâ yourself from a reddit comment section lol. But you saying âyâall donât like it when the tables are turnedâ sounds like youâre saying all white people do this. Donât act like it doesnât read exactly like that lol.
The problem is that when I clarified, you still continued doubling down. Itâs like you just want to pick a fight. If you keep pressing it instead of accepting that there was a miscommunication then I will block you.
Edit: You do know Iâm mixed right? Look at my avatar. White and black. I know people can be racist against their own race but this ainât it chief.
Your clarification wasnât clear at all thats why i said â i dont see what your sayingâ and not âno your definitely a racistâ but whatever man lol
Alright. I wish you the best, have a happy holiday season.
You 2
The old 2 wrongs make a right mentality.
Especially if the person who wronged you isn't the one you are wronging.
Luckily she was smart enough to catch onto what he was doing pretty quickly, but yikes.
So yeah⌠heâs the reason 304s chose the bear
I've seen this guy do this before. He's attempting to prove how people react to "reverse racism". He's done it to any white person he sees, not just women. So he's proving racism, while being racist. (And ultra creepy to boot.)
Probably should do it to the people that do this type shit and not some randos that probably would never.
Exactly what I was thinking.
The girl even seemed to know it was wrong prior to the guy doing it. Like teaching a highschool kid how to tie a shoe.
No shit it's rude, dumbass.
This shit is getting exhausting bro lol
Man touches woman to prove why women choose the bear.
Nothing a little bear spray couldn't fix
I've seen videos like this before, and it always makes me think of the time I had to go to HR because two Black girls at work wouldn't stop touching my hair "because it's so soft."
Literally would walk up behind me and run their hands through my hair.
This happened to me a lot in high school. I once met a good friend by her playing with my hair while sitting in the back of me in class one day. Apparently my hair looked super soft that day.
This also happened to me a lot in high school! I have really long, thick butt length blonde curly hair and everyone wanted to braid it or play with it. Like please stop touching me haha.
I'll never understand touching someone's hair without asking, in any context. It's weirdo behavior from anyone to anyone.
And my hair is soft! Don't be weird and ask and I'm almost always fine with it. Well, mostly. I'd have made them wash their hands first, we worked in a restaurant. That part made it worse for me.
I understand the point, if anyone of any race came up to me and touched my hair I'd be mad asf.
Black girls used to always touch my buzzcut back in school. Kids are simply ignorant, and looking to expand their schemas. This leads to inappropriate behavior that mostly gets sorted out by adulthood, and in turn discrimination becomes more veiled, nuanced, and thus intentional and malicious. Yes, black people are going to experience this more often as they are normally the minority population throughout America, but this behavior also happens when the majorities are flipped. Thereâs a reason why one of our first major rules is hands and feet to ourselves.
Iâll never understand why people think itâs okay to do something to someone just because they happen to look similar to another person who did it to you.
got to fight ignorance with harder ignorance, right guys? right?
Literally, like this guy is probably touching innocent girls just because a white girl somewhere touched his hair
Donât love this trend because it is just âwell a bad thing happened to me so I will do it to othersâ but the point is very valid and this example was handled well on both sides
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Lol wat. Since when is the GOP talking about their trauma.
Like everyday, mind viruses, wokeness, fake news. When they lose an election
It happened more so when I was younger and I don't know if that's better or worse but yes. I've had strangers come and touch my hair. Sometimes they ask first.
Iâm white and attended predominantly black schools growing up. The girls behind me used to always touch and play with my hair without asking. It didnât bother me then but Iâm more aware of dirty hands now so I wouldnât allow it today. Just sayin it goes both ways.
I personally would also be more comfortable if it was some chick coming up and touching my head then some random guy. Like get the fuck away from me, dude.
Sick creep
I disagree with you about your breakdown of assault vs battery torts, but this is a very well researched response.
The woman was made aware of the imminent physical contact by his statement of asking to touch her hair. She did not give consent and had imminent fear of unwanted physical contact. That meets the general elements of assault (intentional act, reasonable apprehension, imminent harm, lack of consent).
When she actually was touched, that would be a second tort of battery. The incident meets the elements for battery but the damages would likely be minimal.
In any event, the distinction between civil vs criminal elements coupled with not knowing the jurisdiction theyâre in means weâll likely never know.
Again, yours was a really good response. No snark.
Who are you talking to?
Argh. I thought I had responded to someoneâs comment but instead it posted as a new comment and I now look like a crazy person yelling at nothing.
Iâve genuinely never seen a white person walk up to a complete stranger and touch their hair like thatâŚ.
It's usually older white people who do this, and it usually happens more to black women. But men get it as well. I'm mixed and don't have traditionally "black" hair, so I never experienced it myself, but have been out with relatives and had people walk up and ask to touch their hair.
And the part asking where they're from and saying that they speak a well, I get this a lot because I look "exotic" and people ask what race I am or where I'm from all the time. I get it less now that I live in an area with a large population of of Latino and Indigenous Americans, as I look a lot like them. But when I was growing up in the south, I'd get asked where I was from a lot.
So just because you haven't seen this happen, doesn't mean that it doesn't happen. Because it does. And often enough that it's become a problem talked about often in black culture.
gets downvoted for telling examples youâve encountered. canât make this shit up lol
Lmaoo for real right? Hell, I mentioned this post to my husband and he was talking about how when he was younger and had full curls (he's Latino and has VERY curly hair. He used to have it looking a lot like Slash has his), and he would get people asking to touch his hair all the time. And not just fellow teenagers, but adults and elderly people as well. And sometimes people wouldn't even ask.
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It happens more often than not? So the majority of times a white person encounters a black person they touch their hair?
Lol somehow I doubt that is the case. I'm white and have never even thought to do this.
It's not something you'd normally just notice in public unless it's actually happening to you. I shave my head and have gotten countless bald wipes. Even just last night. It usually doesn't bother me that much.
Cool you must be white
Not as usual for a complete stranger, but def a co-worker or boss
Happened to me more in school. Never had it happen in my adult life.
Me either but people will say itâs happened to them đ¤ˇ
I've had people come and pet my hair. I had a lady follow me with her hand out stretched, waiting until I stopped moving so she could touch it. Another lady ran behind me and pulled on my hair so she could see if my curls would bounce. Once people think your hair is pretty, you become public property.
I really cannot fathom just TOUCHING people at all without asking them first.
Have some visible tattoos with text, probably once or twice a month I'll randomly have people grabbing my forearm so they can read the jedi code on it
I get the point he's "trying" to make but all I see is a bully.
Personal space for everyone, please. I've had kinky curly hair all of my life. It is indeed annoying when people in the desk behind me would play with my hair, or girls would beg to straighten it at sleepovers only to give up halfway through because my hair is so thick.
But now that I'm an adult, not a soul has touched my hair, or even asked.
This grown man needs to keep his hands to himself. If you are getting your hair touched, make your point then, whether it's a conversation or an assault charge.
Lucky! I have curly hair that everyone loves. I had a woman run behind me and pull my hair because she wanted to see if my curls would bounce. They do as she happily informed me. This grown woman thought it was completely okay to pull my hair for fun.
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Itâs wrong to touch a strangerâs hair. You said it yourself and we all agree. It doesnât matter that the races are reversed in the video âtO mAkE a PoInTâ because like we all agreed on, itâs not ok.
Yes, because two wrongs definitely make a right. No one should touch anyone without permission.
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That is the dumbest take I've read in a while. What has that lady done specifically to invite a random person to touch her without permission? Point out the behavior by pointing it out, not by violating someone's space.
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And did this lady touch your hair specifically? No? Ok then why does she need to get her hair touched by a random ass person? She didnât even do anything. Take your aggressions out on the people that deserve it but donât blame random people who were minding their own business.
She should press charges for assault and take him to civil court for whatever money he made on that video plus court costs. The depo from the civil suit can help with the criminal case.
Pressing charges is extreme my god
I would say that assaulting strangers for money is far more extreme than punching back.
Thatâs assault, brother.
At worst, itâs battery. For the love of God, Redditors need to stop calling everything assault when they donât even understand the charge. Not defending what this guy did, but stop blowing shit way out of proportion.
Itâs a Billy Madison reference.
Common law assault is defined as âthe act of threatening or attempting to inflict immediate harmful or offensive physical contact, causing the victim to fear such contact is imminent.â Many jurisdictions combine the two concepts, so either is appropriate.
So you might want to break out Blackâs Law Dictionary before being confidently incorrect on legal stuff.
âAssault and battery is a modern legal term which combines assault with the separate charge of battery. Assault refers to the wrong act of causing someone to reasonably fear imminent harm. This means that the fear must be something a reasonable person would foresee as threatening to them. Battery refers to the actual wrong act of physically harming someone. These are the terms as they historically have been used, but in the modern context, they can mean many different versions of causing harm. For example, the term assault in state statutes can refer to the common law assault, battery, or both simultaneously. Also, assault and battery can refer to a tort charge or a criminal charge, and the factors and definitions of the charges differ depending on the type of charge.
[Last reviewed in March of 2025 by the Wex Definitions Team]â
Yes, the legal definitions of assault and battery can vary depending on the jurisdiction (Texas and Ohio, for example, combines assault and battery into one charge for CRIMINAL cases). However, statutory law takes precedent over common law and most states keep assault and battery as separate charges. Would a reasonable person say these women feared imminent harmful contact? No. At most, they could sue in a civil case claiming battery (unwanted touching)⌠but good luck getting any money from it since there arenât any damages.
So sure, you made some pop culture reference I didnât get. Youâre still wrong about the difference between assault and battery.
I think that's his point.
The demographics on Reddit vs Instagram, the latter of whom are the intended audience because they understand the purpose, is telling.
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You sound racist
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On Reddit, you can be racist towards white people and apparently they get so butt hurt. Look at the commentsâŚ. âPress charges and file civil suitâ try being black in America. This is literally something that happens to us a Lot. No one would even care if we tried to call the cops for something like this.
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Sadly, a lot of abusers were abused themselves.
You'd think they'd want to spare others from the pain and trauma they experienced.
Iâm a white male with curly hair and women are always touching my hair and saying they wish they had natural curls like mine, never bothered me because I donât have a victim mentality, and nobody can tell me they wouldnât at least want to touch Lucasâ hair from Stranger Things, that guys got a touchable barnet if I ever did see one
Glad it never bothered you, but why so hostile towards the people it dies bother?
Itâs not a victim mentality to not want to be touched without permission.
Anybody whoâs got time to complain about something as trivial as their hair being touched want nothing but to be a victim, how does it affect anyone? Iâm not saying folk should go around doing it but itâs not exactly life changing if someone touches your fucking hair is it?
Why are you so set on making this about the victim mentality? You agree that people shouldn't be touched without permission, thats where it should end.
I don't think you're ignorant but this comment chain makes you come off as ignorant and self-centered. You're acting like your opinion is the only opinion that matters and everyone else should conform to your views.
Explain to me what you think the video is about exactly?
Do the people in the video being touched all have victim mentality?
The whole point of the video is to highlight how white people touch black peoples hair like itâs exclusive to them being victims of it, guys a cringy little bitch who needs to grow up
I understand the premise of the video explaining it doesn't answer the question. Did the people in the video that got uncomfortable have victim mentality?
Canât say 100% they donât look comfortable about it but I doubt theyâre going to base their whole identity and create videos about it to prove a point about a potential small issue not exclusive to one race
It was easy to generalize the circumstances before but it isn't now. I'm also a white male with curly hair and I know that women parading around to touch my hair ended when I was about 15, I can also understand the difference between your mom's friends telling you how beautiful your curls are and a stranger coming up to touch your child's hair because "the texture is so different". Your generalization of one circumstance but not the other is what makes you seem ignorant. I hope that the ignorance is bred from you not having been exposed to the harsh reality that your experiences, especially on the other side of the pond, might not be the same experiences other demographics face and not your lack of willingness to try and understand the situation and empathize. But it is weird that you find the interaction wrong when it makes someone uncomfortable on one side of the aisle but it's just fine and a normal thing when it makes someone uncomfortable on the other side of the isle.
I wouldn't necessarily try to get the point across this way, but that also doesn't mean that it's bad to bring light to the situation. Remember just because something doesn't affect you doesn't mean it doesn't affect other people.
Bro in trumps america, you do not want to do this with melanin.
This was the guy checking ID in the appartement.
He dresses like a homeless guy
This is a real asshole move. What if someone touched his mother/grandmother/little sister. Would he find that amusing? Would the people who watch this shit find that amusing? Probably not? If that is the case, donât do it to others.
Exactly his point. European Americans tend to do this to poc.
Where?
Up your ass clearly đ
I think that was more common 20 years ago. That sort of thing doesnât happen as much in most places in America now.
Heâs a man touching a womanâs hair without her consent, and that would make most women feel unsafe.
To be fair - the skit would work better if it was a black or Asian woman. Itâs generally white woman that do this to mixed, black, or Asian women. And it still happens far too often and is played off as the victim being âangryâ if they appropriately respond negatively to being treated like a doll.
Who? Who walks up to random black people and touches their hair? I understand what a microagression is and how it relates in particular to black hair, but when has any random person touched any random stranger's hair? That is not a thing.
A random European American man crossed the street to touch my daughterâs hair as we were walking and I held her hand. I WAS HOLDING HER HAND!!!! We are not objects. Just because it doesnât happen to you doesnât mean itâs not happening!!! Wtf!?
How can u say itâs not a thing that is so ignorant lol im black with big curly hair and i have had white people do this all time! Im 32 and can say its happened more as an adult than when i was younger. It hasnât happened to you so itâs not real.. great logic
Youâve lived a blessed life. I grew up watching strangers do this to my sister and cousins pretty regularly when we traveled outside of our area (NYC) for vacation. And it would happen to me with acquaintances if I grew my hair out while growing up.
Now itâs rare that I see someone do it to a full grown adult - but I have seen it. Itâs a bullshit whether the person is 15 or 25. You shouldnât be walking up and touching the hair of strangers uninvited.
The whole âwhere are you fromâ happens less to black people than to mixed and Asian people.
It actually happens a lot, even here in the UK
Its wild that youre being down voted because its absolutely a thing that happens
Hit dogs holler đ
Yup, it happened to me a lot as a kid/teen. Less as an adult but it still did.
People who've never experienced it seem obsessed with pretending it doesn't happen. We wouldn't complain about it if it didn't fucking happen?
There are a lot of people on this sub that seem dedicated to downvoting any confirmation that racism might actually exist outside of saying the n-word with a hard r.
It's rare but it's happened to me on two occasions. I'm a man so I thought it was some kind of weird drive by flirting but in both occasions they had an open mouthed fascinated expression, apologized and left.
Not defending him but I think you might have just explained the principal of the video.
Ah yes, the old "let's hit kids to teach them not to hit people" philosophy.
White women get so offended when I tell them not to touch my hair. I love this so much đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Ł
Some of you are outraged. Now imagine this wasn't a joke but another person's reality.
When it happens to them, you dont care at all. Maybe it's even funny to you.
When it happens to you or someone that looks like YOU it's vile. Rules for thee, not we.
You will never understand, but you will always complain.