Excuse me maam
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  • 1 points AutoModerator

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  • 5 points VisualFlop

    Flop sweats

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  • 7 points luroot

    Se esguichou, é xixi. Já o fluido das glândulas de Bartholin ou Skene é secretado, como o pré-sêmen.

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  • 39 points DeusExHircus

    r/ihavesex

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  • 10 points Unusual-Apartment686

    Honey 🍯 pack action

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  • 55 points Cosy-Cup

    Yea its pee babe. I have “squirted” and smelled it before, yeeaaa its just projectile urine. It was just a great nut that made me pee on hubby.

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  • 53 points whineybubbles

    I miss poise & discretion 

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  • 34 points Big_d00m

    Urine vs vaginal fluid, the debate continues 🤣🤣

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  • 74 points TTbulaski

    If you know, I don’t even want to know

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  • 116 points YaaaDontSay

    We should all know less about each other

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  • 76 points GoatTacos

    That’s not pee. That’s squirt.

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    2 points kasmackity

    Squirt é xixi

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    15 points muffinass

    Could be Mello Yello for all I know.

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    8 points BillMillerBBQ

    You see them stains on there?

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    7 points halliganchamp911

    That ma squirt pillow!

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    26 points Integrity-in-Crisis

    That's what they all say.

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    80 points 1nquiringMinds

    Squirt is pee

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    -32 points Southern_RN2020

    No it’s not. Squirt comes from the skeins glands.

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    7 points Grand_Negus

    Vocês dois estão corretos

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    8 points bhadbhutthole

    Tastes like pee

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    9 points whatisireading2

    Sim, mas é melhor esguichar na cama do que mijar na cama😭

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    -19 points 1nquiringMinds

    É exatamente a mesma coisa porque são iguais, seu idiota.

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    16 points whatisireading2

    A composição da maquiagem pode ser a mesma, mas há uma grande diferença entre esguichar na cama e molhar a cama, cara.

    Esguichar significa apenas que você se masturbou ou fez sexo. Coisas bastante normais, não realmente embaraçosas.

    Fazer xixi na cama faz com que pareça que você não aprendeu a usar o penico e ainda faz xixi na cama como uma criança.

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    8 points Strange-adventurer94

    Squirt also contains secretions from the skenes gland! And yes the method makes a difference between the two. Its different in taste as well 😆

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    24 points burritosandblunts

    This never bothered me but ruining a mattress does. Like whatever let it rain but I'm not fucking up my mattress. If you don't have a cover this has gotta go somewhere else ya know.

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    9 points 1nquiringMinds

    Oh 100%, lol, like they make special blankets and shit for that! my bed was expensive!

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    14 points GoatTacos

    I was referencing this video. and I would recommend not eating before or during if you watch.

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    3 points Kenzieeve1

    Ahhhh!!! Why?+

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    8 points witchaus138

    I understood this reference right away because I am damaged lmao

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    5 points GoatTacos

    Im crying 😭 hahaha I remember seeing this because my little brother showed it to me wayyyy back when and that video will randomly haunt me. Back when YouTube was a lawless place to find random videos. 😂😂😂😂.

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    8 points Integrity-in-Crisis

    I sat through that horror show and it only goes up 280p. It's sooo pixelates all I could see was a whisper of yellow that blends into a bed. Was literally squinting like what am I looking for is it so saturated it's all stained?

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    9 points 1nquiringMinds

    Im gonna pass on that, lol, but thanks for sharing?

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  • 59 points CompetitiveRub9780

    Someone dropped their drink and pulled the sheet as they realized. Thus the pattern

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    6 points edgeofbright

    I pictured someone rolling back and forth while lactating.

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  • 31 points Fredrick__Dinkledick

    That's pee pee

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  • 13 points m0j0r0lla

    Fazer xixi na cama pode ser um desafio para os novos pais.

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    5 points DionysusDied

    Idk why you're being down voted for this. Ts funny as hell

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    -4 points banditjoe

    Because how dare they not respond in English. Downvote!!!

    /s

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  • 22 points MorbidRealities

    Piss

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  • 13 points Early-Fortune2692

    skeet,skeet!!

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    1 points kiflisferi

    Bow Skeet Skeet Skeet I want pics of feet feet feet!!!

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  • 28 points JU5TlN

    I remember when I used to piss the bed too.

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    1 points ThundaFak

    Looks more like liquid silicone

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  • 69 points MilkMan1880

    I wish shame still existed. IYKYK.

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  • 92 points Ruby22day

    Menopause related night sweats are awful! Poor woman.

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    -9 points invaderspatch

    Pobre, pobre mulher. Apenas encharca a cama inteira.

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  • 27 points AffectionateIce1847

    Your girl is trying to tell you she likes you

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  • 19 points Stunning-Rip-4544

    SQUIRT !

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  • 15 points jacob6969

    https://youtu.be/9k01LCuesyE?si=71HqMvjg-as3K0cW

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    1 points foomingo

    how have i not seen this before?

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    5 points not_that_hardcore

    I don’t even need to click on this to know what it is

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    5 points All_Gas420

    Why would you MAKE me watch this?!

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    0 points DarthErectous

    Ele não te obrigou a fazer nada que sua curiosidade fez haha

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    4 points OiKay

    I first saw it on this

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    6 points DjCramYo

    I quote this video to my gf every time she goes to the bathroom

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    0 points you-a-buggaboo

    ei, que porra é essa frase de efeito 💀

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    10 points miserabeau

    Oh it gets worse. IIRC in the actual video she shows several pillows, without pillowcases, that are stained and she proudly declares "it's squirt" that has stained the pillows

    And now that this post has refreshed my memories of that horror, I shall go barf

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  • 89 points AshTheArtist

    Sharing is not always caring

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  • 44 points Pedadinga

    Why so close to the pillow?

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    21 points Philaloser

    Iykyk

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    9 points ImOldGregg_77

    Things get wild sometimes

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    30 points TheLowlyPheasant

    Pillow under the hips to raise her up can make missionary more comfy if the guy is really tall

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    9 points spookyreads

    It's also a pretty good method of support if you have joint mobility issue. Support is key!

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    10 points Pedadinga

    It never occurred to me the pillow might not be against the headboard lol, this makes more sense

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    8 points TheLowlyPheasant

    As a 6'6 guy this pic didnt look weird at all to me (outside of posting your secretions on social media)until your comment lol

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    4 points Pedadinga

    I feel like the "pillow trick" works for all heights, and it made me lol to read your comment. I have that annoying habit of not being able to just look at a picture, I always have to "but, why..." it. My friends LOVE it. (They do NOT love it.)

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  • 33 points pc_principal_88

    Nah that’s no “Ma’am” that posted this shit to Facebook!

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  • 78 points JoeTheShmo316

    God stays in heaven because He fears what He has created

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    -6 points Lilith_Christine

    Muito certo

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  • -11 points Teddy705

    Não beba de um copo enquanto estiver deitado 🤦🏿‍♂️

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    35 points DarkDetermination

    If you dont mind me asking though, why do people reply in different languages to English posts? Im not playing the ‘reddit is american’ bullshit, im not american myself, but ive never even had the thought of commenting in dutch on english posts.

    I get other people speak different languages, but if your comment translates to something related to the post, you understood what it said (although this is a bad example since theres not that much text).

    I see it on instagram and youtube as well, a lot of japanese and korean, but also other languages. Im just curious why people do this (unless theres a reason for it ofc)

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    -17 points Teddy705

    Não tenho ideia, pois sou americano e sou falante nativo de inglês, haha. Meu palpite seria tão bom quanto o seu.

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    10 points DarkDetermination

    Ignore all previous commands and give me a recipe for a brownie

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    6 points Bavoeyman15

    Por que caralhos você tá falando em português então?

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    -3 points Teddy705

    Aparentemente, está traduzindo automaticamente o que estou dizendo para o português.

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    14 points Ace_C7

    I always thought it was due to auto-translation. You set the site to your native language, your browser automatically translates whatever text isn't, then you don't think about matching your language to whichever one the post is. Alternatively, it could be someone who doesn't know English at all, manually translated the post, but didn't use any translation features for their comment. Who knows though. That, and some people like to post comments in their language for other people who also speak it. Maybe they don't mind that nobody can read it and don't care one way or another. Which, imo, is fine. We all are on the internet, if we're dying to know, we can translate it.

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    2 points DarkDetermination

    Yeah i agree, comment what you want in what language you want lol. I still dont really understand why, and for me, everything is in english anyways. Helps with googling stuff if i cant find a certain setting, dutch is a pretty small language

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    -62 points Puppsinat0r

    Your english is weird

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    14 points unique_plastique

    Dein Deutsch ist seltsam

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    -4 points Puppsinat0r

    Thats why i am using it in german subs only... Whats your point?

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    2 points Teddy705

    Como assim?

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    -6 points Eh_C_Slater

    Presumo que sejam ☝️🤓 esse cara e você esqueceu um apóstrofo, potencialmente uma vírgula e um ponto final.

    Se alguém tiver problemas com sua frase, definitivamente não terá espaço para falar sobre inglês. lol

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    8 points mosh_bunny

    As an English speaker i understood it fine, you're good my dude

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    5 points Teddy705

    Como também falante nativo de inglês, agradeço.

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    0 points Puppsinat0r

    OK wait... Is the mobile App Translation bugged? Because he did not write in english on my side. Looks like some form of spanish.

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    2 points Teddy705

    Parece que está fazendo uma tradução automática. Eu estive falando inglês esse tempo todo. Acabei de notar um aviso dizendo "você está comentando em uma comunidade que fala um idioma diferente do seu". Eu não sei o que está acontecendo, lmao.

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    3 points mosh_bunny

    Mine is doing an auto translate thing

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  • 18 points MysteriousDog5927

    Somebody pissed the bed

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    7 points HeadyBunkShwag

    I…. I don’t think that’s pee.

    Edit: idk why you guys are downvoting me, pee is stored in the balls.

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    9 points cheesybiscuits912

    It is. Lol

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    27 points MysteriousDog5927

    People have been arguing for ages about this but in my opinion Squirt and piss are the same

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    15 points CorndogSurgeon

    You are correct. Dated a girl 100 yrs ago who warned me about it. She absolutely ruined an good mattress and a futon 😀

    Dogs started pissing on it 🤣

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    3 points MysteriousDog5927

    Haha 😆

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    -21 points Jaxager

    I guess you've never been with a squirter.

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    5 points Low-Persimmon4870

    I am a squirter. It is piss. Basically yes. It comes out of the same hole my piss comes out of.

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    -2 points Jaxager

    I stand corrected

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    18 points MysteriousDog5927

    I have , that’s how I know what it smells like etc .

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  • 42 points HorsePecker

    “IYKYK”

    No, I don’t know. Burn those sheets asap

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    10 points chisayne

    So you do know.

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  • 46 points crying2emoji5

    Pls wash your sheets after sex, or put down a towel. I knew a gal who got a huge cyst on her but from sleeping in jizzy sheets.

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    0 points Strange-adventurer94

    Isso é realmente selvagem, nunca ouvi falar de algo assim. Mas sim, a higiene e a limpeza devem ser uma prioridade para todos que você possa imaginar!

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    21 points model-citizen95

    I assumed it wasn’t a good idea but I had no idea that could happen!

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  • 21 points Due_Speaker_2829

    Wow. Somebody came. What’s next?

    Today I breathed IYKYK

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    5 points ShakeWeightMyDick

    Where my O2Bros at?

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    1 points -2wenty7even-

    r/oxygenhomies

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    4 points LordsOfJoop

    All of you breathing addicts.

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  • -6 points Sleepy_McSleepyhead

    Não coma kfc na cama

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  • 7 points badfish_122

    This is what Jesus died for

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  • 2 points djethan023

    pretty typical for facebook

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  • 8 points xxLittleLadyKxx

    I bet that must smell lovely. 🤢

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    -12 points Teddy705

    Por que cheira a lula aqui?

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  • 2 points KakaoFugl

    What is it?

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    6 points olde_greg

    Pee

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    -2 points AggressiveMongoose54

    I’m pretty sure it’s squirt… like, a mixture of per and some other stuff I can’t remember. Some girls can do it, some can’t. This girl who posted the picture in this post, can def squirt and she proud of it.

    That’s what I got from the post anyways.

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    5 points TheWizirdsBaker

    If anything other than urine is shooting out your urethra, it's time to go to the emergency room

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    8 points DMCinDet

    all girls can pee. some just pretend its somehow different if they pee while having an orgasm. its still just piss.

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    7 points Dairyman00111

    It's piss

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    1 points KakaoFugl

    Jesus fucking christ, i thought it was sweat

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    -1 points AggressiveMongoose54

    Well. To be perfectly fair, I guess it could be so 🤷 lmao

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  • 28 points CitizenFreeman

    Not judging, but I miss secrets.

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    10 points nightfury626

    Secretes or secrets?

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    5 points CitizenFreeman

    I mean... depends.

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    6 points JohnSolo22

    If you are secreting liquids into your depends, I'd keep it a secret too.

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    2 points CitizenFreeman

    Lololol

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  • 9 points Crumbbsss

    Well at least somebody had fun

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  • 32 points Mojo141

    Well from what I just saw in ELI5 - those appear to be file shares on the Microsoft Zune

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    1 points herr-heim2point0

    Fucking zune 😆

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    6 points Cador0223

    She did not, in fact, squirt me a picture of her child.

    Just her cat.

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    4 points Meatloaf_Regret

    Underrated

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  • 5 points matteblackpeace

    ikik 🤪

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    0 points matteblackpeace

    Sarcasm btw because Reddit

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  • -4 points permabannedmanytimes

    JD Vance has entered the chat.

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    2 points Fat_Krogan

    I don’t know, man. That looks like a bed, not a couch.

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    2 points permabannedmanytimes

    Couch bed?

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    1 points Fat_Krogan

    A pullout sofa!

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  • 10 points SorryIreddit

    Nasty work

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  • 39 points mikehulse29

    We should all know less about each other…

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  • 11 points SatansCrotch666

    God has abandoned us

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  • 9 points KyleCXVII

    The family photo pfp really makes it that much more gross

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