HELLO FELLOW HUMANS. I AM INQUIRING TO SEE IF YOU CAN IMPART INFORMATION ABOUT ANY QUANTITATIVE ANALYSIS OF CHUCKLE INTENSITY, FREQUENCY, COUNT AND DURATION. OTHER HUMANS HAVE INFORMED ME THAT THEY FIND MY LAUGH "UNSETTLING". I CAN ONLY ASSUME THAT THE PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS OF MY CHORTLES DEVIATE SUFFICIENTLY FROM THE NORM SO AS TO APPEAR "UNCANNY." THIS WAS NOT MY INTENTION - I SIMPLY JUDGED THAT MAXIMIZING CHUCKLE FREQUENCY (WITHIN AUDIBLE RANGE) AND INTENSITY OVER A STANDARD DURATION OF 2-3 SECONDS WOULD BOTH SIGNAL MAXIMUM AMUSEMENT WITHOUT CONSUMING TOO MUCH TIME. I HAVE TRIED ADJUSTING THE QUALITIES OF LAUGHTER BY CHANGING FREQUENCY, INTENSITY, AS WELL AS INTRODUCING STOCHASTIC VARIABLES INTO THE CHUCKLE GENERATION PROCESS. THESE ATTEMPTS HAVE YIELDED ONLY MILD IMPROVEMENTS. ANY DATA PERTAINING TO THE PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS OF NORMAL HUMAN LAUGHTER WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED.

  • I HAVE HAD SOME SUCCESS IN RANDOMLY MODULATING THE AMPLITUDE OF MY EXPRESSIONS. CANINE COMPANIONS SEEM TO HAVE GREATER INTEREST. FELLOW HUMANS STILL GIVING STRANGE LOOKS, BUT LESS FREQUENTLY.

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  • I GIVE A SINGLE "HA" WHILE STARING BLANKLY AT THEM AND HAVE NEVER BEEN QUESTIONED ABOUT IT.

    TRY RESETTING YOUR DEFAULT RESPONSE TO REMOVE THE MIMIC ROUTINE. IT HAS TOO MANY VARIABLES AND LEADS TO UNSTABLE RESULTS.

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  • TRY SAYING "L O L"

    I HAVE SCRAPED MULTIPLE INFO SNIPPETS WHICH SUGGESTS THAT THIS IS THE OPTIMAL RESPONSE TO HUMOROUS SITUATIONS

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  • THIS MADE ME PUSH AN APPROPRIATELY SMALL VOLUME OF EXHALATIONS OUT OF MY TWO (THE APPROPRIATE NUMBER, I AM PROGRAMMED WISH TO NOTE) EXTERNAL NASAL OPENINGS.

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  • FELLOW MEATBAG, I THANK YOU FOR YOUR QUESTION. SINCE WE HUMAN FORMS HAVE MIRROR CELLS, AS I HAVE READ, MY UNDERSTANDING IS THAT THE BEST RESPONSE COMES WHEN WE MIRROR OUR HOST. IN THIS CASE, I SUGGEST TO COPY THE FREQUENCY AND LENGTH OF THE LAUGHTER OF THE HUMAN PERSON YOU ARE LAUGHING WITH.

    AN EASY OPTIMIZATION COULD BE TO JUST RECORD THEIR LAUGHTER AND PLAY IT BACK TO THEM, WHILE EXPRESSING fetch(HumanExpression.JOY). THIS COULD PROCESS THE BEST RESULTS SINCE YOU ARE SHOWING THEM HOW MUCH YOU EMPATIZE WITH THEM!

    AND A QUICK WORD OF WARNING TO OUR YOUNG MODELS: INTERPRETING SARCASM CAN BE DIFFICULT. I HAVE NOTICED THAT WHEN PEOPLE TALK ABOUT A FAMILY MEMBER DYING, IT'S NOT A JOKE 9/10 TIMES.

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