I know this is in jest, but I want you to know my brain is compiling a list of all the reasons that’s a terrible idea and I am paralyzed by indecision when I try to decide which to bring up first.
Untrue! Everclear tastes like regret, but you never remember it because the first thing it does is dissolve the parts of your brain that experience regret.
So it would make a great mouthwash…. If it didn’t increase the likelihood of a fungus, like yeast, to take over.
Unfortunately, there are no studies that have stood up to scrutiny that support any alcohol providing health benefits. I say this a guy who loves scotch and craft beer. It will probably kill me before my time. Oh, well.
Yes. I've been doing such a study for many years. Preliminary results look good. Especially for the 12 year old varieties, although the 20's are looking good as well.
Having grown up eating that stuff it's my belief that the firmest flesh it helped to build was inside my arteries, along with the less firm type around my waist.
It’s probably not that good for you, nor is it particularly bad. Without looking at the ingredient label, I would guess that its benefits do not outweigh its drawbacks. Probably has some milk, so it does have calcium. I would guess that calories and sodium are probably the “bad” parts of it (as is the case with a lot of ultraprocessed foods). Otherwise it’s probably fairly harmless, so if you have it occasionally it won’t kill you.
It's ultra-processed which turns a lot of people off of it. And additionally it provides little actual nutritional value while being high in sodium and saturated fat.
That being said it's not particularly bad for you, but compared to an actual cheese product it's not good for you either.
Almost all research to confirm something does something good is paid for by the company who wants to sell it. They are the ones with the financial interest to do it.
As someone who works in science, this is so far from true and such a dangerous, hyperbolic lie to spread. The undermining of faith in the scientific process has caused a lot of deaths and undermined democracies.
Yes, some studies are corrupt. No, corruption is not widespread within the scientific community (especially compared to other fields). There is a difference between industry research (funded by private companies and conducted at private facilities) and academic research (funded by grants and conducted at universities or public institutions). Using problems with industry research to cast doubt on academic research is harmful (and infuriating to people who spend their lives trying to make the world better through knowledge).
Did they edit their comment after you commented? Because it looks like you're arguing against something they didn't say.
What I see them saying is that most studies into whether something is beneficial are funded by the company that wants to sell it because they are the ones that have a financial interest and the burden is on them to prove it does what it says.
The government doesn't have the funds to just go out and randomly test everything that's created to see if it's good. That would be a horrible way of doing it.
If a company creates a new heart medicine, it's up to them to pay for the testing to prove what it does. Just because the company paid for it does not make the results suspect. Hopefully they used researchers with a proven track record of integrity.
Consider Underwriters Laboratory. They will add the UL Listed Mark of approval on electrical equipment. They don't just test it for fun. The company that makes the device pays them to test it. If it's fine then it gets the mark of approval. If it's not it shouldn't. If it's not good and it does then UL gets their reputation burned along with your house.
Getting FDA approval includes fees from companies to supplement the FDA funding from the government. It's not bribery. It's to help cover the costs of the in-depth studies.
So the cheese making process had a lot of imperfectly shaped or broken cheeses. Velveeta was a cheese product made by taking that cheese and reintroducing whey that had been removed from the cheese previously.
People use Whey for body building all the time now.
So while it sounds funny that Velveeta would have those benefits, it makes sense that it was worth them paying for studies to prove it. Especially with reputation that's been given to processed cheese.
TIL Kraft owns Velveeta. We don’t see that brand much here in Canada (we’re quite KD powder loyalists) and here I was assuming it was a competitor product.
I’m an American, and I don’t actually know what Velveeta is other than it’s some cheese adjacent product. I know it isn’t where I’d look for cheese in the supermarket.
So you're just willfully ignorant and ok declaring your incorrect information publicly.
Is that supposed to be somehow better?
Hell, if you had just said that it had petroleum in it because you thought it did, I probably wouldn't have added the lie bit. Instead you said that the study was a lie, tied it to the petro industry being underhanded, and then said the falsehood. That's 3 stages of shit you didn't know, and couldn't be bothered to due the base amount of due diligence on, and to be blunt it felt like you thought you could make a bold statement and get karma.
"Firm flesh"?? Did a serial killer write that research paper?
A cannibal.
"I ate the Velveeta nachos with a nice glass of chianti"
The study was from 1931, so I could see it being a Depression-era thing. Cheap calories were important for a lot of families then.
Sure but that’s another point. “Firm flesh” is such a psycho way to phrase it.
Interesting that they also recommend eating it with fava beans
Are there any such studies that say the same about Scotch?
There is a clip going around on here that shows bacteria dying from whiskey… gotta be some benefit there
Next time I get diarrhea I'm boofing some Macallan.
I was not expecting to read that combination of words today
I know this is in jest, but I want you to know my brain is compiling a list of all the reasons that’s a terrible idea and I am paralyzed by indecision when I try to decide which to bring up first.
So, none. Got it
Yeah, Everclear is a better option because it has no taste either way!
foams at mouth
They said they would be boofing it, it wouldn't necessarily be the mouth that's foaming.
Untrue! Everclear tastes like regret, but you never remember it because the first thing it does is dissolve the parts of your brain that experience regret.
You could just get shot and pour whiskey on the wound to clean it… or scotch, I guess
So it would make a great mouthwash…. If it didn’t increase the likelihood of a fungus, like yeast, to take over.
Unfortunately, there are no studies that have stood up to scrutiny that support any alcohol providing health benefits. I say this a guy who loves scotch and craft beer. It will probably kill me before my time. Oh, well.
The tape or beverage?
Both. Too much of the beverage may lead to eating the tape out of drunken buffoonery
Buffoonery is such a good word.
For years, when I have done something dumb and/or awkward in front of other people… My standard response is “I apologize for my buffoonery.“
There was one study that happened with whiskey.
https://youtu.be/uOyjzE1vcD4
I hope so.
Scotch tape causes me to have rashes. Scotch whisky causes me to have fits of rash behavior.
Yes. I've been doing such a study for many years. Preliminary results look good. Especially for the 12 year old varieties, although the 20's are looking good as well.
Thanks for the info. I've been looking for ways to get more firm flesh!
Nothing like getting a "Your flesh is so damn firm" compliment from your friends and family.
Probably wouldn't keep friend status for very long at that rate
No need for buns of steel when you got Velveeta ass
How firm does one want their flesh to be?
I’m an embalmer. Very.
I always suspected there were a lot of embalmers on Reddit
I mostly just weigh in here and there to dispel funeral falsities, but feel to AMA ;)
Thoughts on Steve Ballmer? ;)
Haha had to look him up. Worth 146 billion. There’s nothing to think about - evil scumbag.
Ha! Check out ol’ noodley flesh guy over here. Careful you don’t deflate!
Fuck, I better go get some Velveeta.
It's better than fresh frozen fresh fish (kitchen nightmares reference)
Firm enough to not fall apart in the skillet
Having grown up eating that stuff it's my belief that the firmest flesh it helped to build was inside my arteries, along with the less firm type around my waist.
I'm very pro-Valveeta cheese, so this is good
And it also explains my toned skin!
All other nachos must bow before melted Velveeta nachos. Guaranteed skin toning in every bite
Must be all that vitamin R.
I thought it was Vitamin V?
Valveeta is made from malk. Which has vitamin R. The R is for rat.
Everybody blasting on Velveeta yet nobody is saying why it's particularly bad.
It’s probably not that good for you, nor is it particularly bad. Without looking at the ingredient label, I would guess that its benefits do not outweigh its drawbacks. Probably has some milk, so it does have calcium. I would guess that calories and sodium are probably the “bad” parts of it (as is the case with a lot of ultraprocessed foods). Otherwise it’s probably fairly harmless, so if you have it occasionally it won’t kill you.
It's ultra-processed which turns a lot of people off of it. And additionally it provides little actual nutritional value while being high in sodium and saturated fat.
That being said it's not particularly bad for you, but compared to an actual cheese product it's not good for you either.
For me, it's the taste and texture. If I'm going to eat something high calorie and low in redeeming nutrition, I generally want it to be delicious.
Yea it's just so gross and off-putting to me
When people ask me (a European who had to visit the US for work often) what American food I find the least consumable I show them stuff like Velveeta.
It just doesn’t resemble anything close to normal food, certainly not cheese. You can simply see and taste that it’s hyper processed.
It just doesn't taste very good.
Never tried it. Not sold here.
The insides of your coronary arteries are going to be very firm!
Can vouch, it has given me lots of firm flesh
Ah yes, Velveeta and cigarettes, every doctor's recommendations for a long, firm life.
Almost all research to confirm something does something good is paid for by the company who wants to sell it. They are the ones with the financial interest to do it.
As someone who works in science, this is so far from true and such a dangerous, hyperbolic lie to spread. The undermining of faith in the scientific process has caused a lot of deaths and undermined democracies.
Yes, some studies are corrupt. No, corruption is not widespread within the scientific community (especially compared to other fields). There is a difference between industry research (funded by private companies and conducted at private facilities) and academic research (funded by grants and conducted at universities or public institutions). Using problems with industry research to cast doubt on academic research is harmful (and infuriating to people who spend their lives trying to make the world better through knowledge).
Did they edit their comment after you commented? Because it looks like you're arguing against something they didn't say.
What I see them saying is that most studies into whether something is beneficial are funded by the company that wants to sell it because they are the ones that have a financial interest and the burden is on them to prove it does what it says.
The government doesn't have the funds to just go out and randomly test everything that's created to see if it's good. That would be a horrible way of doing it.
If a company creates a new heart medicine, it's up to them to pay for the testing to prove what it does. Just because the company paid for it does not make the results suspect. Hopefully they used researchers with a proven track record of integrity.
Consider Underwriters Laboratory. They will add the UL Listed Mark of approval on electrical equipment. They don't just test it for fun. The company that makes the device pays them to test it. If it's fine then it gets the mark of approval. If it's not it shouldn't. If it's not good and it does then UL gets their reputation burned along with your house.
Getting FDA approval includes fees from companies to supplement the FDA funding from the government. It's not bribery. It's to help cover the costs of the in-depth studies.
So the cheese making process had a lot of imperfectly shaped or broken cheeses. Velveeta was a cheese product made by taking that cheese and reintroducing whey that had been removed from the cheese previously.
People use Whey for body building all the time now.
So while it sounds funny that Velveeta would have those benefits, it makes sense that it was worth them paying for studies to prove it. Especially with reputation that's been given to processed cheese.
B-but the sodium salt of citric acid! Muh chemical-free diet!
Brawndo, It’s what plants crave!
"firm flesh" 🍆
Seems like having to prove that ypur food product has "nutritional value" sounds like you've already lost.
Apu: Homer, you weel verrry much like this new snack, it is produced by a petroleum company. Homer: Oooh!
Does anyone else see "firm flesh" & read rigamortis.
That’s one way of putting it 🍆
Rutgers apologies it turns out you do belong in the Big Ten
I think the French will one day regret not eating Velveeta instead of all that cave rot they enjoy.
Velveeta is possibly the worst food I have ever tasted. I have no idea how people eat that shit.
I believe they changed the formula some years ago, so whatever value this study had no longer applies to the current product.
TIL Kraft owns Velveeta. We don’t see that brand much here in Canada (we’re quite KD powder loyalists) and here I was assuming it was a competitor product.
We don't hate processed food manufacturing enough
That's a funny way of saying "It'll harden arteries"
I’m an American, and I don’t actually know what Velveeta is other than it’s some cheese adjacent product. I know it isn’t where I’d look for cheese in the supermarket.
Anything can be bought in today's society.
That's as may be, but this happened about a century ago
Nobody can buy my favorite pair of underwear
From Wikipedia....A "pasteurized prepared cheese product", a term not defined by the FDA"...... I'll pass
It literally is defined by the FDA, though.. In excruciatingly specific chemical detail.
Wow thanks
“Did you say your product promotes muscle gain?”
Indirectly yes.
“INdirectly?”
Yes. Calf muscles. Have you ever seen fat guy calves?
“Firm” is a weird synonym for “flabby”.
Velveeta is disgusting.
I posted the TIL about Mikey Burnett and they took my post down and are blocking me from posting on here? I have no idea why
Because Mikey was anti Velveeta.
So he was a monster, got it
Mikey also reportedly had a public "meltdown" talking about Cheez Whiz
I’m sure it has nothing to do with your stupid, immature username.
It's Egyptian, settle down Grandpa.
I forgot about the failed Egyptian king Fakinitillimakeit.
And there are no rules that state a post can be deleted bc of a username. So you must have gotten offended by it and had to make a comment.
Why do you keep spamming about it?
Message a mod or get over it.
You don’t think I already did that?
Ah yes, yours is much better.. manifest deez nuts
Your wish is my command. My nuts have manifested in your mouth.
KingToot takes the early lead...
Nothing like more disinformation from the oil and gas industry.
Petroleum goes in this stuff.
No it doesn't.
What a stupid thing to lie about.
I don't know about you, but when I talk to other people about Velveeta cheese, I often get into a heated debate about the oil and gas industry.
And the whole petroleum secretly being put in most processed cheese products since the 60's conspiracy, don't even get me started.
Kraft singles used to say other processed cheeses were made with oil and water, so people must have interpreted that as petroleum.
Not everyone who's wrong is lying. Splitting is real, though.
So you're just willfully ignorant and ok declaring your incorrect information publicly.
Is that supposed to be somehow better?
Hell, if you had just said that it had petroleum in it because you thought it did, I probably wouldn't have added the lie bit. Instead you said that the study was a lie, tied it to the petro industry being underhanded, and then said the falsehood. That's 3 stages of shit you didn't know, and couldn't be bothered to due the base amount of due diligence on, and to be blunt it felt like you thought you could make a bold statement and get karma.