This actually happened two days ago and I’m still dealing with the consequences. I was texting my friend, complaining about how a coworker keeps scheduling “urgent” meetings that are never actually urgent. You know the type. The kind of person who sends a calendar invite at 8pm and then shows up late to their own meeting.
So I typed out this whole message to my friend saying something like “If he schedules one more fake emergency meeting I’m going to throw my laptop out the window.” Nothing too wild, just regular workplace frustration.
Except I didn’t send it to my friend.
I sent it to the coworker.
The coworker who schedules the meetings.
I realized the moment my phone buzzed with his name at the top of the screen. My soul genuinely tried to exit through my ears. I opened the chat and there it was. My entire rant sitting proudly in our work conversation like a confession letter.
He replies with “Noted.”
That’s it. Just “Noted.”
And then he cancels our next meeting. And the one after that. Then he stops messaging me altogether and starts sending entire paragraphs of updates through the project manager as if we suddenly need a mediator.
I tried apologizing but he left me on seen, which somehow feels worse than if he yelled.
Now the entire vibe at work is weird. My boss asked if everything was ok between us and I had to pretend we were totally fine while silently praying my coworker wouldn’t walk past my desk.
I’ve never wished harder for a time machine.
TLDR: Meant to complain about a coworker to my friend, accidentally sent the rant to the coworker himself, he responded with a cold “Noted” and now avoids me like I’m a health hazard.
I would have mentioned it to the boss, sounds like a classic time waster with poor planning. You did accidentally vent/rant to the wrong person, but they turned it into a hostile workspace.
Exactly. OP screwed up, but he's not wrong. Coworker should definitely call OP out to his face for being a blunt idiot, but doing the cold shoulder at work is horseshit.
fr fr you thought you were just venting and accidentally unlocked the “hostile work environment” DLC
The way he escalated it made everything ten times weirder. A simple “hey, my bad” moment somehow turned into full workplace Cold War.
Totally get that. Venting to the wrong person can backfire, but it sounds like the bigger issue was how it was handled.
yeah fr, the mess up happened but his silent treatment vibes make it way more awkward than it needed to be
I would be honest with your coworker.
“Hey, I’m really sorry I sent that message. It wasn’t appropriate, and I feel awful. I was feeling frustrated because when you schedule emergency meetings and then don’t show up on time, it feels like you don’t value my time. That’s really the root of my frustration.
I’d love to find a way for us to move forward in a way that works for everyone.”
This is the only correct response if done in person.
Stop running away from your problems and go apologize in person.
Sounds like you got what you wanted. If you really want to make up it will have to be in person
Honestly, maybe I did want fewer meetings, just not like this. You’re probably right though. If I want this to stop being weird, I’ll have to talk to them face to face and just clear the air.
Mention it to HR if you might face bigger issues over this. But ultimately try to sort it out with the aggrieved party.
I know you're getting a lot of advice to go sort it out with that person but as someone who has been in similar situations I would personally talk to someone like your boss or HR. Still be honest and go in with the mindset of wanting to mend things but at this point you want things on record otherwise it's going to turn into a battle of who said what and your coworker is the one with the screenshot of you complaining/instigating. It could very easily end very poorly for you. It could go poorly in either scenario regardless of who you speak with of course but I think the risk is lessened by going to someone else first. That is entirely dependent on who your HR/boss is. You'll know better than us if they're chill/reasonable. It's always better to have a third-party mediator/witness in these situations imo
You've gotta go into it with an "I fucked up" framing though. That has to be up front and clear, you don't want to be seen as shifting the blame.
As a manager, I agree with the above comment. Follow this advice. It makes it easier on everyone involved and will give your bosses more insight on how the mediation needs to go. Everyone appreciates when someone owns up to a mistake and wants to work towards a solution.
I did something similar as a contractor, got sacked for gross misconduct, could be worse 😅
I got in the habit of drafting emails first before adding recipients. Let's just say lessons were learned.
Why? Why don't you just tell your boss that your coworker is taking up valuable time by scheduling unnecessary meetings? You messed up with the message but your coworker messed up first by not knowing how to prioritize and that's the only mess-up your boss should care about. Just tell him.
I mean it’s too late for that the bigger issue is now the message rather than the meetings
honestly this is why i draft rants in notes app first. sending the real talk to the wrong tab is modern day horror.
You’ll have to confront this in person now. It’s difficult but the only way.
AI slop.
OP made a mistake, but coworker is escalating to hostile workplace via immaturity and nonprofessionalism. Go to your boss and explain.
Ai
What? You mean the “I never wished harder for a time machine” isn’t a perfectly normal, natural closing statement to such a mundane story?!
Every AI post their soul wants to leave through some orifice
They also don't know how to build tension without sounding like a camp counselor telling a ghost story, or Chef John from Food Wishes.
They switch to terse, short sentences any time they build to a twist.
Just like I'm doing now.
And it often obeys rule of threes.
And then they do... this. The ellipses. It just... happens.
He's gonna be passive aggressive because he got his middle management feelings hurt. Ya did good. Go back to your boss and just explain it if it makes you feel better, or at the very least document it in case he tries to get back at you somehow. Maybe, just maybe, you got one of the few who's gonna take it to heart and stop micromanaging though.
Edit: realized it was just a coworker. Forget about it. From the info youve given theyre on the same level as you and you dont owe them anything else at this point
OP it gave me flashbacks on what I happened to my work previously. I have a coworker who I don't like very much because her work output kinda suck and I had to deal with the mess.
We were having a webex call with three coworkers, lets call them Mike (the one Im close to) and Avery, the one who I don't like. I enabled screenshare real quick to show something, and proceeded to forget to turn it off. As the call progresses, there was some downtime, and I proceeded to chat Mike and rant about how useless Avery is, and how her work is never right. Suddenly, Avery talks and asks "what do you mean my work is bad". God, I froze, I couldn't say anything. Mike kinda just laughed it off, and tried to defuse the tension, but I felt so cold during the whole ordeal.
I know what you feel OP.
Screen shot that conversation before your wok message system deletes it. You’ll want documentation of what you did and didn’t say if this ever blows up.
He sounds like John from The Phoenix Project
At least it's your coworker and not your manager. I don't mix work applications and personal applications for this reason. I don't trust myself. Lol
Why wouldn't you explain the situation to your boss? Yes you sent an accidental message, but now he's creating a hostile work environment.
Everyone is saying go apologize to him first but I would 100% first talk to your boss or somebody, before approaching the guy in case he handles it even more poorly.
I mean, op has let a lot of Time elapse at this point. They should have apologized in person asap..
I'd have a direct talk with coworker and hash out differences. And if it doesn't work, actually talk with boss.
I mean.... sounds like it worked out perfectly?
Around these parts, we call that a "win". Enjoy your hard fought lack of meetings... you earned it!
Ouch, that’s peak accidental self-destruct. 😭 You apologized, that’s all you can do. Just give it time, the awkwardness will smooth out.
you accidentally sent your coworker the “i’m gonna yeet my laptop” rant and he hit you with the coldest “noted” in corporate history 😭 lowkey the most lethal two-word execution ever, you still breathing at work or already updating your resume fr??