Got the lowest appraisal rating this year today for which I worked my ass off. I just got an inter department transfer. I was just learning things here, trying to manage everything, holding onto my sanity by a thread. Now I hate myself for not working on myself last year and give it a try for any other field. I hate ittt. During last year, I was able to negotiate and up my rating but I don't think anybody will help me this time. This is a very sad deja vu. Adulting is sad. It's not fair. I am feeling low and all the prev mistakes are running hapzardly in my mind.
When will all this stop really? Why am I doing this worthless shit?
It's too much. I'm tired. And sad. TL;DR: Fuked up office and personal life. Wow never imagined that I'll reach this low.
What does the inter-departmental transfer have to do with anything? How does anything you wrote relate to your personal life? What, precisely, isn't fair? You can still work hard and screw things up. You can still work hard and not meet your goals. Sorry you feel low, but life isn't fair.