This happened about 45 minutes ago and I am currently eating my Pad Thai in the dark because I am too ashamed to look at the windows. For context, I (23F) had a brutally long day at work. I came home, ordered my favorite comfort food, and decided to hop in the shower while waiting. The app said the driver was 20 minutes away, so I figured I had plenty of time to scrub off the day and get into pajamas before he arrived. I was wrong. I was mid-conditioner when my phone started buzzing on the counter. "Driver is approaching." Panic mode engaged. I rinsed off in record time, jumped out, and realized I hadn't brought fresh clothes into the bathroom. I heard the knock on the front door. I didn't want to make him wait, so I grabbed my large bath towel and did the classic "tuck and roll" maneuver. I looked in the mirror and thought, "Okay, this is secure. I’ll just wrap the towel tight, grab the bag, and close the door. 5 seconds max." I marched to the door with unearned confidence. I opened it, and there he was. He was a older guy, maybe 30-40, which made this infinitely worse. I smiled, said "Hi!", and reached out my right arm to grab the heavy bag of food. Physics was not on my side today. I guess lifting my arm created some sort of structural failure in the towel knot. It didn't fall completely to the floor, but the top corner (the crucial part covering my chest) just... gave up. It flopped completely down. I wasn't wearing anything underneath. Time froze. He saw. I saw him see. My nipples were definitely making an appearance. I frantically used my other hand to slap the towel back up against my chest, but the damage was done. He didn't even blink. He just stared for a split second, handed me the bag, and said "Enjoy your meal" in a super low, strained voice. He practically sprinted back to his Honda Civic. I locked the door and slid down to the floor. I immediately opened the app and tipped him $15 on a $20 order out of pure guilt and hush money. So, to the driver if you see this: I am so sorry. Please enjoy the tip, and please don't report me for harassment 😂
TL;DR: Tried to answer the door in a towel to get my dinner. Reached for the food and the towel knot betrayed me. Flashed the poor delivery driver, who ran away in terror. I paid a $15 "please forget my boobs" tax.
“He was an older guy, 30-40.”
☠️
Someone come shoot me because if 30 - 40 is older me being 55 must make me geriatric
I'm 60 and just found out that I helped build the pyramids. Apparently.
I've seen it put.. we were born in the 1900's
Went to school in the late 1900s
That is the absolute worst way to say that, and you should feel ashamed for making others aware that it can be said that way. Traitorous.
have you noticed when we get carded, it doesnt take nearly as long as it used to? yeah... they see our birth year starts with 19 and dont look any further. learned that a few years ago.
I’ve noticed I almost never get carded any more.
I have a 23 year old and went out with friends for one of their 45 birthdays over the weekend, she carded the whole table. I just laughed at the absurdity.
I am in the ides of thirty and my husband didn’t believe I got carded the other day 😭 it happened again yesterday but the kid said, “can I see an id real quick-just to scan” bruhh 😭🤣
I'm so old that I don't even buy anything that someone would need to ask for ID from me any more.
They're not checking our ID when we're getting carded. They're checking that we have ID with us, and likely got told "card everyone, even your own grandparents, or you're fired."
I've been legal since last century, and both of my kids are old enough to drink. On a good day I might look mid 40s instead of late 40s but it's clear that I am old enough.
How long do you have to scroll now to get your birth year when you fill out forms?
Yeah, just say “before the turn of the century”. FTFY.
Went to school in the early 90’s
Graduated in the early '90s
That was just yesterday and it fucking triggered me
I'm 55 and my kid (17) said this the other day. He's grounded for six months lol.
I feel ya, my back just got better from building Stonehenge.
WTF?!? You guys are getting better?!?
I thought I'd get better after putting Easter Island together,.... but it's been a while & my pain is only ever getting worse, never better 😢
my older sister's bruise is finally healing after she slipped and broke pangea.
Makes sense, what with all that newfangled ice age stuff going on around that time.
I invented the wheel. You're welcome
I waitressed at the last supper
And don't get me started about the dinosaurs!!
Adam and Eve were shit neighbours!
[deleted]
I’m a 62 yo whipper snapper
l discovered fire.
Prometheus: "Hot take" Greek gods: "Prometheus, no!"
And I, the wheel!
I planted the hanging gardens of Babylon.
My ex is Eve
I helped god build the universe.
I'm 70.
Evidently I was present when dinosaurs roamed the planet.
I wouldn't worry about it, the ancient Romans had a hand in rocket booster design.
(boils down to the size of rail, tracks, tunnels and roads being standardised by them - thus, eventually the booster having to be designed with those limitations in mind for transport).
U started it, I finished it
Certainly by 60 you’ve see a lot of nipples and delivered a lot of pad Thai. Nothing to see here.
I mean 60 is definitely “early old”, you’re old dude lol
Look, there's a bit of an argument you can help with. How did you do it?
I tried to comment but at 52 I'm unable to figure out this app doohickey thingamajig and now I'm cranky and need strained peas.
Can we be honest? NOBODY needs strained peas….
Better strained peas than strained pees.
I'm close to joining your geriatric ranks, my friend. We will be glorious geriatric.
Join us, on the other side of the hill, 😎 we have cookies, & crazy life experiences to share!!
I'm waiting for my hover rocking chair set, and some production level sound system, (so all my young neighbours get to experience Real music) It will be awesome 🎶🤘
-------my positive view
~~~~~~~
My more serious take on 'getting old'
(- getting old is a privilege, that so many young, good, innocent ppl don't get....
Every wrinkle, every grey hair, a reminder of how freaking lucky we are & how freaking grateful we should be - to just to be here, right now, hold on- to loved ones, etc...)
The whole family gets on me about how I spoil my (freaking awesome) grand daughter. I just tell everyone, "When ya'll choose my nursing home... she'll be watching".
Never considered how much nail polish remover I'd be needing though...
https://preview.redd.it/gw9izxx96g6g1.jpeg?width=892&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a8d7fc024045577f16e734b49b758b7cfbcf23cf
If you're pregnant at the age of 35, it's considered a geriatric pregnancy. There's a high risk pregnancy doctor whose job is to call 35 year old pregnant women geriatric to their faces. That's gotta be the world's most dangerous job.
Been there. I think the words ‘exfuckingcuseme’ left my mouth before she explain ‘that’s just to term for pregnancy over 35 yo.’ Still feel she should have flipped that script and started there.
Well, have you tried just not being so OLD?!? (I am on my way to 40 myself, so I'm just being facetious)
Joke's on you. I've felt like I was 1 day away from retirement since I was 15.
I retired this past August. Many people asked how long I had been thinking about / planning on retiring... "Since 1989."
"Before you were born" is one less syllables to say.
Got to save time where you can at some point.
I know someone who was called that at age 22…
Quiet now old timer, let's get you back to bed.
Gen X party in the comments.
I turn 56 in two weeks. Which dinosaur did you ride?
Didn't know they let you use Reddit at the retirement house.
Well… unless you think you’re living to 110 years old, you’re past middle aged now my dude! ( Don’t get mad, I’m much older than you).
At 62 I consider myself a late bloomer. So theoretically I'm only 30 somethin.
My grandparents were protozoan.
She just has to be 29 or younger for 30 to be older.
Based on her writing style I'm gonna say 23. You can always tell.
Was watching family feud earlier, the top answer to "When does middle age start?" Was 30. Was expecting to be 40
If middle age starts at 30 that means I have wasted my youth and I'm definitely not ready to process that line of thinking.
Youth is wasted on the young.
It is definitely late 40s bruh..
40-60 is the usual definition.
Yeah, that makes me sad.
And it's more embarrassing when older guys see you naked!
Got to see 20-something-year-old titties and got a $20 tip? As a fellow 30 to 40-year-old that honestly would have made my night.
Three tips on one job! My luck must be changing!
Yeah, the only negative part of this situation for the delivery man is that he got called old on the internet afterwards.
That's how you know this story is horse shit
2 nips plus a tip sounds like a good night.
I'm reading this from my nursing home.
I mean older than 23 is older lol
42 almost 43 here.. Apparently I need to book the place in the geriatric facility...
I turned 31 today, ruined my day that did 🤣
Older as in older than OP
I got torched by my ex girlfriend for saying this about a woman in her 40s once when this was all that I meant. Older than us.
I didnt even realize! Im old!
Older than OP not necessarily old
I see this all the time on reddit.. older =/= old. I read it as the guy is older than OP is.
I'm 28 and I would say my partner is older because he's 40, not because I'm classifying him as "old"
:')
I just turned 40 and this hit me hard 😂
Ya, shots were fired and here for the fight…
I see this all the time on reddit.. older =/= old. I read it as the guy is older than OP is.
I'm 28 and I would say my partner is older because he's 40, not because I'm classifying him as "old"
:')
As long as OP refers to themselves as “older” when they hit that age, I’ve got no issue with it.
Any bets on whether that’s going to be the case?
As a 38 year old, this hit hard. I'm barely still an old guy.
That hurt.
Later, that dude says something along the lines of: I had the craziest order. This young lady gave me the breast tip, er, the best tit, er,..gah, she got me udderly flummoxed. Great tip. Almost enough to throw in the towel.
Breast day of his life
It's among his very best mammaries.
Tits going to be a story he’ll tell people for years and years
The tit was the tip.
These TITalating puns are the Breast read I have had all day.
Good day at work. Some lady paid me extra to look at her boobs today.
The weather was a tit bit nipply...
If I had money, I would have given this reply an award.
Just flash them your boobs
In a deleted version of this post she says it's an Uber eats driver and here it's DoorDash.
A keen eye to note the make and model of his car in those few seconds amongst all the embarrassment.
And to reiterate that she didn't have clothes on, after setting all that up for way too long in the beginning. And... her talking about the towl knot sounds like a 30-40 y/o engineer sitting at his desk.
Edit: OP is probably a delivery driver (30-40 y/o) typing out his fantasy that will never come true.
I didn't have anything on under my towel. Well if you did you'd be a fucking psycho so kudos.
They're just a nevernude.
There are dozens of us, DOZENS!
And he thinks he is old!
As an engineer, I was offended. Worst use of “structural failure” coverup.
So there my naked breasts were, so naked, like….bags of…sand
Or ai
Every man here is too busy drooling over the mention of boobs in a story they can't see how unbelievably stupid they would have to be (and are) to buy the "tip to forget my boobs" horse shit this story is.
Nah, I spotted this AI slop before I even read it.
Honestly they are starting to get obvious from line 1 nowadays. I can't put my finger on exactly what it is, but they all have an extremely similar style and tend to way over-describe ordinary things
It's a story set at night where she's eating her pad Thai in the dark cause she's too embarrassed to look out the windows. That doesn't make any fucking sense.
They’re all accounts that are one month old that spam all of their posts within a couple hours of each other
It's the overuse of adjectives and descriptive language... The plot and structure setup are all carefully calculated... Not to mention the overall "edginess" that is just... too much. It's really obvious now, even without em dashes as a telltale sign.
Not to mention that on doordash, you can have the driver just leave it at the door. No need to rush downstairs at all
Every one of OPs posts is just sexy engagement bait
The funny part here is more engagement came from "older man 30-40" than from boobies.
its just an reversed attention grab story trying to cash in on the door dash girl insanity thingy that's been going viral .
The entire account is ai written enf fetish erotica, there’s no 23 year old girl here flashing delivery drivers and walking around her new office with hard nipples
Every delivery driver has a story about a time a customer flashed them. What you don't hear is that, half the time, it was a dude (this is my example), 90% of the rest of the time it's a woman, she's not someone you'd be excited to see naked, and the rest of the remaining time, it's just one story that actually happened to a driver that every other driver at that place claims happened to them instead.
Someone should be fired for this blunder
It also reads like ai
I've seen this movie! I thought your acting was sub-par but the plot was excellent and I found the pizza delivery man very relatable.
“I learned that from the pizza man.”
“Perhaps she did something wrong…”
Ai, look at the author's post history. Nothing, then a bunch of titillation bait posts today.
Maybe I'm just cynical, but yeah, this whole story sounded so made up. All of the turns of phrase and unique phrases make it seem like a creative writing project. Also, if you are that mortified that you flashed someone, the detail in how they walk away, the fact that the car is a Honda Civic... its just too much detail for your typical human to have gathered while claiming they were in a heightened emotional state.
I was out the moment OP was allegedly a young woman who didn’t select ‘leave at door.’ No way.
I’m (apparently) older, and I refuse to have contact with deliveries if I can help it.
It was this part:
Panic mode engaged. I rinsed off in record time, jumped out, and realized I hadn't brought fresh clothes into the bathroom. I heard the knock on the front door. I didn't want to make him wait, so I grabbed my large bath towel and did the classic "tuck and roll" maneuver. I looked in the mirror and thought, "Okay, this is secure. I’ll just wrap the towel tight, grab the bag, and close the door. 5 seconds max."
I’m offended you think 30-40 is an older guy. 😩
the fact today is my 37th birthday and being classified as an older guy makes me sad as well.
My 38th was yesterday, happy birthday!
Ha you old geezers. I’m a young spring chicken at 35
It's coming for you, I can hear your knees and your back from here.
i'm also 37 and i swear to god in my head i'm still 20,
As a 44 year old guy, yes, despite what you wish, 37 is closer to middle aged than your 20s. By a lot.
But that’s cool, being middle aged is actually awesome outside of the youngins look better.
At my 36th bday dinner the other month my 7 year old daughter asked "Dad were you cool when you were young?"
I laughed it off but in truth I died. I'm now an old uncool ghost of my former self.
I mean someone who is 10-20 years older than you is, by definition an older guy. Lmao
not old, older, as in relatively speaking. she is not in her 30s, so someone who is in 30-40 is older
She’s 23. When I was 23 30 was old to me, since I only really plan out ten years into the future. So 30s would be at the end of my current plans with the exception of retirement goals.
I’m 40 now, so I don’t even remember what I thought like at 23 🤣
If you were a guy, you likely weren't thinking. Your dick was.
If you are a woman. Your stomach was making the decisions. Feels like we all just planned our days around getting our next meal.
She's 23, 30-40 is factually older
What would you label yourself as?
From the other side of 40, I'd be happy to be confused for an older guy of 30-40.
there's a whole category of porn about this. :D
On the plus side that was probably more than enough of a tip to make him happy 🤣 and he got a real tip on top of it.
He was already happy.
I bet his tip was happy.
I left that wide open, just like her towel.
Damn he got two rewards
Ah I see ChatGPT is finally allowing spicy content.
Why are so many of these posts just walls of text now?
I find myself wanting to read so many of them until I click into the post
Does doordash not have a leave order at door option? I use Uber and just wait till they leave food at the door and then grab it once they leave
I was gonna say, I don't think I've ever had a hand to hand transaction with a doordash order.
If anything I'm usually hiding in shame and wait until they drive away to quickly scoop my order off the porch.
Unfortunately I have an apartment building with a security door and a building that is apparently “difficult to find” even though it’s right on a fairly large street. So I can’t do this but I also don’t order DoorDash and then jump in the shower or make up stories for Reddit.
They do, and in my experience most people use it. There's "Leave at door", and "contactless" as two separate options.
Now, if the user frequently claims missing deliveries or missed steps, DD will flag their account and force them to use a handoff delivery with a code. You can also manually select that option if you have shitty neighbors.
FYI, if you select contactless delivery, it's physically contactless, but the app forces the driver to press the call button and speak with the customer to drop off the order.
Technically the driver can press the call button, but not let the call go through, but it's Doordash policy that a call is made.
AI slop farm post. “He practically sprinted back to his Honda Civic” is peak ChatGPT.
Anybody else having trouble believing accounts that are a month old?
Feels like an add for DoorDash!
A recruitment ad for Doordash drivers
https://preview.redd.it/qhe62h15ub6g1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=9e74392bfb35bed1ccc889b64f993b23b7fcda07
Make up your mind was it DoorDash or UberEats. This post seemed a little too familiar and now I know why.
It's a karma farming attempt before they start making their posts for selling content.
i love how everyone’s offended by her calling the guy older… but he IS older than her! she didn’t say old! oldER. if they were dating, it would be acceptable to say she’s dating an older guy. how come in this context it isn’t? 😭 ay yi yi
Just pick leave at door.
So he saw your boobs and you tipped him? Damn
I didn't get past that the 30 or 40 year male was an "older guy"
The driver saw boobies and got a percentage of the tip you sent him (Doordash almost certainly are taking a cut. He's not geting all $15 of that tip.) so from his perspective, it was a great transaction. You accidentally made this dude's day. A fuck up on your part because of your needless embarrassment (you did nothing wrong, after all), but a good day for him.
Customers can leave a tip when they check out or soon, after the delivery is completed. 100% of tips are yours on top of base pay and promotions. The amount DoorDash pays will never vary based on the tip amount. For example, for two identical deliveries where one customer leaves a $3 tip and another customer leaves a $6 tip, one Dasher will earn $3 more than the other.
They don't touch your tips.
I don’t think you can pay a guy to forget your boobs. He’s just going to remember them harder.
You’re now the woman that flashed him and tipped 75%. That has to be a good day for a dasher. Next time you whip them out at a gig worker, tip a normal amount.
Girl… this was so preventable on so many levels
At the very least... don't tuck the towel in, get the two sides flush and then roll them down together a few times. Do it right and that thing isn't going anywhere.
The absolutely terrible, overly descriptive creative writing assignment style was also preventable but here we are.
Dear Penthouse Forum,
r/fuckimold
That high tip is going to make him assume there is more to this.
I think I've seen this movie, but it had a different ending
He treated it politely and awkwardly, you apologized, leaving a tip, and life went on as usual
I'm cringing more at the fact you think 30-40 is "older"
Don't worry. He's probably seen boobs before.
This is probably the first time he has been paid to see them though.
I feel so bad for that poor delivery guy. She showed him her boobs and paid him extra. How will he ever recover.
How is, potentially, 7 years above you an "older guy"?
Flashed the dude, then gave him $15. Made his week.
Even if the guy is gay and female repulsed, it's a way better interaction than a lot of deliveries he's had.
You were not verbally abusive, you tipped, he was able to find your house, you didn't 1-star him, you didn't make him late, you are young, you did not sexually harass him...
And if he is attracted to females and not mortified, that is one more boob that has entered his mental library.
A good interaction overall.
Tits and a tip. That dude had a good day.
This didn't end the way these stories usually end based on my literary experience.
I think seeing your boobs was his tip
“structural failure of the towel”, someone took a junior college creative writing course.
Gravititty...
You didn't need to tip him.. Really..
Just be glad he's not Olivia Henderson.
Free tits and a big tip. What a lucky guy. Probably made his day. Nothing to be embarrassed about.
I'd say he got the tip at the door.