Although..... Given that he came back to life, maybe we would worship the holy thread and knitting needles Dr Frankenstein used to sew his head back on. Wait a minute, the monster is Jesus.
Better idea with modern tech
...
Put Jesus in the electric chair... Fry the fucker... Then have God send a lightning bolt to bring him back to life right there in the chair. American Jesus smells like bacon.
Best estimates are Jesus was born in the summer but the early church decided December 25 to squat on Saturnalia, an existing pagan celebration of the solstice. Same way Easter just happens to be on the feast day of the goddess Eostre. 🙄
Nah Easter was based on the Jewish festival of Passover, and is about the right time of year from the events in the Bible. In Romance languages, the name for the Easter holiday is similar to passover. In Germanic languages it's based on Eostre and did have crossover of traditions.
Or the interesting fact that at that of the year December, i.e. winter, the stables/barns are packed full of animals to protect them from winter, so the manger is sort of seriously in use. Facts ... meh.
Christianity was invented by Mary to excuse her sudden pregnancy despite being a virgin as far as everybody was aware. That's my favorite conspiracy theory.
Well it became a symbol of remembrance for the sacrifice he gave for sin, that sacrifice being torture and death on the cross.
It's weird when you think about it as "it's how he was tortured and killed" and not what his torture and death was for and what the cross therefore symbolizes
What's really weird is how many focus on his torture and death rather than his teachings and how he lived. Lots of talk about sacrifice, not a word about the Beatitudes.
Why didn't they just nail the baby Jesus to the cross? Did they need carpenters that bad? Sounds terribly inefficient for a sacrificial economy. It's not like big G had a problem killing babies...
found 4 guys named Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John to work the deep fryer, man the cash register.. work the drive through and handle cleaning at Bethlehem Fried Chicken
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Pretty pale
Every one knows white jesus is best jesus
/s
Just how everyone knows Jesus was the greatest American who ever lived
/S
Jesus wrote the Bible in English because America is the chosen land.
/S
https://i.redd.it/uuwszlhcg17g1.gif
Korean Jesus better
https://i.redd.it/v0wg4xbvm17g1.gif
Jesus was Jewish.
That's the whitest middle eastern Jewish kid I've ever seen.
Has been in the sun yet. It's night out.
https://preview.redd.it/lt29yurz117g1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=749afb36a549e961c4c9aadb61fa8c31870ecf72
Id be more impressed if he came back from that for sure.
Maybe it would've been only a talking head.
brutal.
Heads in baskets.
Although..... Given that he came back to life, maybe we would worship the holy thread and knitting needles Dr Frankenstein used to sew his head back on. Wait a minute, the monster is Jesus.
Better idea with modern tech ... Put Jesus in the electric chair... Fry the fucker... Then have God send a lightning bolt to bring him back to life right there in the chair. American Jesus smells like bacon.
Yeah...an image of how he would eventually be tortured to death. Religious people have some...issues.
That’s quite literally the point of remembering the cross though, they want to remember his sacrifice by enduring that horrible death
On Easter it makes sense, Christmas?
All my babies have electric chairs on their blankies
Best estimates are Jesus was born in the summer but the early church decided December 25 to squat on Saturnalia, an existing pagan celebration of the solstice. Same way Easter just happens to be on the feast day of the goddess Eostre. 🙄
Or the great flood in the Epic of Gilgamesh and how it parallels that of Noah's arc seemlessly.
Nah Easter was based on the Jewish festival of Passover, and is about the right time of year from the events in the Bible. In Romance languages, the name for the Easter holiday is similar to passover. In Germanic languages it's based on Eostre and did have crossover of traditions.
Is passover celebrated with eggs, rabbits, chicks and other springtime symbols of new life?
Or the interesting fact that at that of the year December, i.e. winter, the stables/barns are packed full of animals to protect them from winter, so the manger is sort of seriously in use. Facts ... meh.
December 25th is Summer here. Jesus was secretly Australian.
There are no estimates of jesus birthrate because there's no real evidence he even existedÂ
There is no historical evidence for your claim
Next your going to tell me he died BC
God damn it!
https://preview.redd.it/ocuagbbl717g1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c61805d304f7797212afb8f6c931beed6828dcc
Christianity was invented by Mary to excuse her sudden pregnancy despite being a virgin as far as everybody was aware. That's my favorite conspiracy theory.
JFK had a Rifle on his.
So did Charlie
Fucking hell mate too soon. I waited 62 years to do the JFK joke.
Nah. Not too soon.
-the late great Bill Hicks
Bobby Flay was born in a manger?
I don’t wanna come across as sacrilegious but if Mary had had an abortion would Christian’s worship a coat hanger?
https://preview.redd.it/08yy6sfva17g1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=06433384ea154cf394df32cd6f159ac36bd641a8
You need a metal one for anything past the 12th trimester.Â
Did Mary embroidered a cross figure on baby Jesus blankie? And, why?
Probably given as a gift from his mother who most Christians believe was Christian herself lol
Like on reality shows where they go to surprise someone at their house and the next shot from.thebinside of the house when they go to answer the door
I was having this thought yesterday (and countless other days before that):
Does anyone else think it’s super weird to make a method of torture and death a religious symbol?
I remember a Bill Hicks skit that is basically: do you think when Jesus comes back he’s going to want to see another fuckin’ cross?
Well it became a symbol of remembrance for the sacrifice he gave for sin, that sacrifice being torture and death on the cross.
It's weird when you think about it as "it's how he was tortured and killed" and not what his torture and death was for and what the cross therefore symbolizes
What's really weird is how many focus on his torture and death rather than his teachings and how he lived. Lots of talk about sacrifice, not a word about the Beatitudes.
Aww look, he's white.
..and teething, by the looks of things as well..
Dark to put the method of his death right there on his blanket.
News alert!!!!! Baby Jesus is missing from nativity scenes everywhere…. Looks like ICE was there
Why would painfully white Jesus have a cross blanket?
Who’s white baby is that?
Funny how one lady lies about her extramarital affair, and now we can’t have Chick-fil-A on Sunday.
And you thought it sucked because you knew you had to take over the family laundromat!
I like poor brown humble Jesus and not MAGAT Jesus…
Excellent foreshadowing with the cross on the blanket
Not as brown as he should be “christians”.
They really obsess over his torture.
Who’s white baby is that
Why is Jesus white here?
https://preview.redd.it/ur03s101g47g1.png?width=552&format=png&auto=webp&s=6d1b46c7cbf5c8ff6b97d0b0b2ae328852b891a4
Why didn't they just nail the baby Jesus to the cross? Did they need carpenters that bad? Sounds terribly inefficient for a sacrificial economy. It's not like big G had a problem killing babies...
It's as if his parents were born-again phony Christrian trash.
Marked for death
Why TF is there a cross on the blanket?!?!
IDF air strike incoming
If English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me.
“Someone is gonna nail you to one of these later”
Colonial Jesus lived in the Middle East and found 4 guys named Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.
Mmmmmmm.......love me some good ol BFC.
Ghost rape spawn