Thank you! I don't understand why anyone would think it is gross, it is literally what they were made for! I honestly don't understand why many countries are so weird about beasts. It's odd to me. Males can display their breasts, why is it weird for females if the need arises?
Babies deserve to eat with their families, not in a fucking toilet stall. Anyone who says they should feed in the bathroom is crazy. If men feel the need that women should hide while breastfeeding, the least they can do is institute a law where every restaurant must build breastfeeding rooms. A nice, cozy lounge room for women and their feeding babies.
I bet the same men would then complain about how it’s not fair for businesses to have to spend this money on women who ChOoSe to have babies and bring them out… Won’t complain when the kid is old enough to exploit order off the menu, though.
Fortunately we had no such foolishness happen. I have to wonder how much of the acceptance was due to it being a Mexican restaurant. Also, we were white and white privilege is a thing. Also, my niece was pretty discreet about it and kept everything covered to the point where a casual glance might not have been enough to tell the baby was breastfeeding.
TLDR;
12 yo breastfeeding at my job, legal confusion of right to feed and CP. manager offered towel baby spit up on his crotch. Grown man standing in front of topless 12 yo with white liquid dripping from his groin, no winners.
Worked at a YMCA as a life guard, there was a girl in a Jr. high t-shirt breast feeding on the deck with both breasts out albeit with the baby on one. The issue was her age confirmed to be (cough) 12, now you can’t ask women to cover when breastfeeding in our state, but the issue of her age and CP as there were adults about. Now it’s not just guys but women that could be charged for looking at topless 12 year olds. City lawyer was called, said offer her something to cover herself but don’t push the point. Manger walked over with towel. The girl reached out for the towel. Baby popped off, spit up milk on managers crotch area. 30 yo manager now standing in public in front of topless 12 yo with white liquid dripping from his groin.
What makes me sad is all this stuff America is suddenly relitigating now, thanks to the whack job right wing government; abortion is now fucked. Civil Rights are being stomped, especially if you happen to have any skin color darker than lily white. Racism is now not just rampant but openly encouraged. Fascism is no longer what we fought a World War against but now it's the new economic order....
a restaurant owner in my hometown kicked a woman out for breastfeeding her baby and she was completely covered. dude has a history of being an asshole to staff and customers but consistently gets away with it due to it being privately owned.
Put him and the restaurant on blast across the entire state for that bullshit and management will understand that obeying the law is required for a successful business model.
they blasted him on facebook for it and over half the comments were on his side saying they didn't want to see someone breast feeding while they were eating 🙄
The only time I ever had an issue with someone breastfeeding in a restaurant was when I went to a local sushi place with a friend of mine and we were seated right next to a family with a school aged kid and a baby. At one point the mother stood up from their table, walked over to ours, sat at our table right next to my friend and still without saying a word, whipped her whole breast out and started nursing the baby. We were so flabbergasted, we were speechless. Thankfully we had already finished our meals, so we just stood up awkwardly, went to the server to pay and left.
Breast-feeding in public is completely legal. There are actually protections in all 50 states! If someone has a problem with it at a place like a restaurant, they are the one that has to be moved. You cannot legally ask a mother to cover up, leave, or move away from someone.
This comment blew up and I've been get responses that describe a whole range of people's reactions. A few talk about being kicked out of restaurants and such. It appears that there are still people stuck in the Neanderthal Era on this subject, thankfully they are few and far between.
Always feels awkward when I'm taking an order and midway through realize she's feeding a baby under her clothing and we've been maintaining eye contact and having a conversation.
Like I'm definitely not complaining, but do wonder if they feel uncomfortable interacting with a stranger during. Either way props for the discretion because I notice a ton of details around me.
Well now I feel worse because I definitely get awkward when I realize what's taking place. Again, it's not that I have a problem with it. I'm just fucking awkward. lol
While I have no issue interacting with a woman nursing it feels respectful to avert my eyes. Plus I don't want to glance down and have her think I'm trying to see part of her body.
Typing this all out I'm definitely overthinking it.
As long as you didn’t say anything about it, you did fine. We’re used to stares of disapproval and awkwardness. Awkwardness can be chalked up to inexperience.
If you're having a conversation, keep eye contact through the conversation. Its not strange. Just dont stare at her boobs. Honestly it was strange when people talking to me wouldn't meet my eyes just because I was breast feeding. It's not a private thing that needs ignoring. But it doesn't need to be called out. Just treat it like a big obvious birthmark or mole on someone.
Many years ago when I was living in NYC, a friend and I were walking around Tribeca. I noticed a woman with a cute baby and saw she was sitting on a bench breastfeeding. I thought, “good for her” since this whole debate about breastfeeding in public was raging even back then. I had sun glasses on but realized the mom was looking at me as it was just her, her husband and baby, and my friend and I were the only other people.
It was only then that I realized it was Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Saarsgard. Immediately, I wanted to blurt out I was just looking at you feeding your baby, didn’t realize you were famous.
Thank GOD I managed to stop myself since that would have been so much creepier and worse! I just quickly picked up the pace to explain to my friend what happened, since he’d be distracted by his phone.
This is now one of those intrusive memories that randomly make me feel like dying from embarrassment or keep me up at night lol.
Nah, it's okay BECAUSE they're famous. They must be used to people being temporarily star-struck when meeting them. Better than being caught staring by a random woman breast-feeding.
It’s something natural, a baby needs to eat, it’s the whole purpose of breasts. It’s the whole stigma around it, but feeding from the breast is the same as feeding from a bottle. In my mind, if you’re looking away when a baby is getting the breast, you should also look away when they’re getting the bottle. For the mother it’s the same, they’re feeding the baby.
But honestly, I’d rather have someone look away and be respectful about it, than that someone is giving a disgusting face and commenting on it.
I don’t have kids yet, and I’m a woman, but even I feel awkward, and I think women should be able to breast feed wherever they feel most comfortable. It’s just not common to see it, and you know they’re exposed even when covered, so it catches you by surprise and you don’t know where to look.
People averting their eyes and refusing to even look at me while I was talking made me feel absolutely awful and less than human. Like a boob is just a boob and it was more bothersome that I was just a boob to a man, and not a mom feeding a baby.
Seriously. My thought is that if they are comfortable enough to breastfeed in front of me, then I’m comfortable enough to talk to them. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t.
I’m not attacking you, but I’m genuinely curious about your thought processes regarding why you imagine a woman might feel uncomfortable conversing with someone at a place she chose to be at, interact with others, & to feed her baby?
I mean, the purpose of human breasts is, first & foremost, feeding lil’ humans. That’s been the unchanged for a gazillion years. Obviously breasts are more natural than a bottle, & I can only imagine you wouldn’t wonder if a woman felt awkward making eye contact & conversing with you while she held a bottle to her baby’s mouth...
Well ignorance mostly. I have no idea what breastfeeding is like. You're fairly vulnerable during, which can make certain interactions awkward or anxiety inducing.
Say I'm taking a piss and someone starts talking to me and maintaining eye contact the entire time. That's not a situation I necessarily want to have happen.
Obviously breasts are more natural than a bottle, & I can only imagine you wouldn’t wonder if a woman felt awkward making eye contact & conversing with you while she held a bottle to her baby’s mouth...
Yea, her having part of her body exposed is the main reason I'm considering her feelings. The baby consuming food is not part of it at all. lol
Yeah, it's a terrible comparison. I compare breast feeding to a large obvious mole or birth mark. Its natural, it's not inappropriate, it's just something slightly different that you dont see all the time. So dont stare at it, and dont bring it up. Just talk to the person normally or go about your day without saying a word.
I didn't mean to compare the two acts. Just they're both situations where you're slightly vulnerable.
Your comment reads as if you think I was saying looking at a woman breastfeeding is akin to watching someone take a piss, which isn't what I said at all.
As a mother who has breast fed two children. Personally, it is not a vulnerable act. The only reason one could feel vulnerable is because society makes women feel like the act of breast feeding is not welcome. Is it vulnerable to feed a baby a bottle? The bottle is just attached to a breast feeding woman. Yes, if a woman is uncomfortable breast feeding in public, it's a vulnerable act. But our society made it that way. So the more people that treat breast feeding like the completely natural action that it is and not something that should be hidden away, the less women will feel vulnerable while doing it.
But all in all, if you encounter a woman openly breast feeding in public, it is reasonable to assume she does not feel vulnerable doing it. So just treat her normally.
Personally I feel vulnerable any time I'm in public and unable to take action in an instant. Even holding a small baby I'd feel slightly vulnerable because moving very quickly, like in an emergency, I'd have to prioritize the safety of the child.
Maybe this is a me thing as I'm an anxious personality.
Also I think you and I were talking about different types of vulnerability.
I really wasn't comparing the acts. I was comparing the state of physical vulnerability you put yourself in doing either. Reading comprehension is tough, I know.
Because we “live in a society”. Women shouldn’t feel embarrassed to feed their baby in public. But, she can still feel shame because she’s been shamed. Women are humans, not magic creatures who can turn off the negative emotions (I know you know, I’m just being silly!). I can “fuck it, I’m wearing what I want!” but still be embarrassed about my body. And feeding a baby isn’t as free of a choice as choosing an outfit. She might be embarrassed about breastfeeding in public, but the bathroom smells so awful she wants to puke in there, etc.
I used to also feel awkward talking to someone breastfeeding, just because it's not normalized in my society. But then I had a baby and breastfed them and realized that for mothers of babies, it ends up feeling no more private or taboo than feeding them with a spoon. With newborns they have to feed literally every 2 hours so at home you often constantly have the baby attached to you, and you end up having to do a lot of stuff while it's happening, including talking to any friends or family that come to visit.
After a while boobs no longer feel sexual or "exposing" to you...they feel like a basic tool for your baby like a bib or a swaddle. Having your boobs out starts to feel normal really fast at home, and when you're in public you forget that it's even happening and will just be chatting away and then remember that some people still live in "boobs are scandalous sex beacons" world and you ask yourself how that ever felt normal to you. Almost like the way other people see them is now way more foreign to you.
Millions and billions of dollars paid by nestle ensure that Americans don’t get maternal leave , so that mom goes back to work and has to buy formula instead of breastfeeding. Of course we don’t have leave.
I remember reading about a woman who gave birth on Friday and was back at work on Monday smh
If people sometimes need a week off for a cold in what world would 2 days be enough after fucking giving birth? I don’t want kids but that shit annoys me tf
Absolutely not uncomfortable feeding a helpless baby the way nature allows us to. We see animals nursing from their mothers and go AWEEEEEE!!
If I’m uncomfortable I can leave. If you’re uncomfortable you can leave.
Also, I think many people especially men don’t realize how often a baby nurses or feeds. Some babies nurse for a few minutes, some and many nurse for up to 40+ minutes, factor in that babies of different ages feed every couple-few hours. The baby is on that breast just as much as it’s off the breast, she likely doesn’t even realize she’s feeding and having a conversation anymore.
It got to the point I’d walk around my house with my breast pump on, and it does not look pretty. Sometimes I forgot had full on conversations while my nips were getting reefed by air suction. When something is so frequent throughout your day it becomes a new normal.
The only person who likely noticed in that interaction was you. The eye contact part is weird. Should she turn her head in shame for feeding a baby? Would that have seemed more normal? Bodies are bodies, boobs are meant for feeding babies, and serve as an erogenous zone - just like our other baby making parts. (Biologically, we’d be less likely to have babies if those same parts didn’t cause pleasure. It’s only sexual because people can’t compartmentalize or have nuanced thinking. (This mentality is deeply ingrained because of patriarchy and lasting social effects of religious doctrine).
I understand this from a server perspective, and being taken off-guard by it happening when you don’t realize it. Honestly doesn’t bother me, but I get “that” moment when you realize it’s happening lol
as a guy i never understood this. a baby's gotta go eat too, why make them eat in a bathroom? you don't make anyone else do that. never seen anyone insist that tyler eat his pizza rolls while sitting on a toilet.
yeah man, you gotta quit it with the 'totino's and toilets' thing. it's not at all the same thing as cars and coffee no matter how much you try to convince us.
Literally! I don't get it. Like take the most base, gross, male approach to it. Baby eats and you get to see some tiddy as along as you are cool and don't stare. WHO IS BEING HURT BY ANY OF THIS?!?!?
Honestly, I promise don't have a fetish. These guys are just making things unnecessarily tougher on everyone.
This is the type of thing that can only be spouted by people who haven't lived anywhere else for long enough. The average person in the US is way better off than the vast majority of the world by every metric and on par with most of Europe for most metrics. Even the worst off in the U.S. have it better than a very large chunk of people in the world. Your (and many other people's takes) that the U.S. sucks to live in is a view that completely lacks perspective. The U.S. definitely has its problems but, in a comparative sense, it doesn't "fucking suck" to live in.
My wife breastfed 3 kids in public in Indiana and never had an issue. Nobody ever said a word. Anecdotal, I know, but thought I would give my perspective.
I attempted to breastfeed my kids in public (completely covered up with those horrible modesty covers) in Indiana and always had an issue. People were incredibly vocal, though it was usually snorts or harrumphs :/
Not many places around the world have different places for different school subjects instead of all taking place in the same classroom.
Also, if you see some dumb or weird shit on here, chances are it's either USA or India, so it's a good guess saying USA and at worse it will be like that Simpson's meme.
It probably is the US because of the use of the word "bathroom", but nevertheless...
Not many places around the world have different places for different school subjects instead of all taking place in the same classroom.
Many (maybe even all?) countries in Europe do this, at least for their schools for (roughly) age 11 onwards. There are single classrooms for young children in primary/elementary schools, but not later years. Montessori or Steiner schools are more likely to have "homeroom" classrooms, but they are very uncommon, except maybe Austria.
Yea in Norway we had all of our classes in the same classroom from 1st to 13th grade. Only exceptions were more specialized classes that you picked yourself (I.e., language, arts, music, higher level chem/bio/math classes). The gen eds were all taught in our “home classroom”
When baby formula became widely available it was almost a status symbol for women. Formula companies for years pushed hospitals and doctors offices to unload their starter formula kits on parents. It was a great moneymaker and society with working Mom's moved to formula. It wasn't until more recently that a push was made to allow nursing moms to take pumping breaks so they could continue nursing after returning to work.
In a nutshell, it is the Big Formula that that made natures perfect first food uncomfortable for society.
Even now in America, I can take a pumping break, but I have to make up the time later. So ridiculous. So I have longer days because I have to pump and have a baby 🙃
Hi, was a teacher for 5 years, boys/men tend to like boobs.
This was a college history class? So they aren't boys, they are young men/teenagers - who are even more likely to like boobs.
Even if they didn't they wouldn't care unless they were religious with some kind of socialization behind the disgust i.e nudity bad.
When I was in college, a classmate did a project for our sociology class where she breastfed her baby in various locations in the mall to see what kind of response she got. The best was when she was standing in front of a Victoria’s Secret window and some guy yelled at her to cover up because there were children around.
A sudden insight, an apprehension of a perspective so different from one's own viewpoint, may not hold the truth, but undoubtedly provides better triangulation to it.
If I say "that's what happens when you stay in the sun all day" in response to a burn it doesn't mean I'm claiming all burns are an indications of staying in the sun all day.
A lady asked me if she could use our store’s fitting room to breastfeed her baby and you would think she was asking me where the nuclear codes were. She couldn’t stop thanking me for the simple gesture of saying yes and letting her through. Not even a true public setting and she was still conditioned to feel dirty about it.
We want women to have lots of babies and take pride in creating life but then we treat them like they’re streaking through a church when it comes time to do the most natural thing that all animals do, and that’s feed their young.
I’m from a country where it’s uncommon to cover to breastfeed (was literally told to remove my covering by family members, as they insisted it was not necessary here). Yet where I currently live (the US), I can’t even breastfeed at my in-laws house without a cover, which sucks when it’s too hot or when you have a very curious baby that refuses to stay under the cover
My baby hated any sort of cover and would scream. Fortunately that made people more cool with me not using one (at the end of the day they preferred a quiet boob over listening to a screaming baby I guess lol).
I don’t like being around that mostly cause I don’t want to make the woman feel uncomfortable. Few years ago we were watching a movie and my aunt was breastfeeding her baby. I stayed and didn’t look or move because obviously she was fine with me (a guy) and the others being around her during that moment so I was fine with it 🤷.
I can say as someone who was recently breastfeeding that it actually makes me feel super relaxed when a guy just continues talking to me or continues with whatever he was doing. When you have to feed a baby every two hours, doing it while talking to people just starts to feel normal (almost like talking to people while drinking a beer or doing a puzzle) and so the only time I was uncomfortable was when other people acted like I was doing something really inappropriate.
Fortunately for me a lot of guy family members and friends had kids and knew the deal so they would just talk to me the same as they always would while it was happening. Sometimes I would forget that I was even doing it because it felt so chill and casual.
That makes me a bit glad I did the right thing. Yeah we were just watching a movie. I was younger so I was like trying not to stare but did leave after like 10 minutes that and cause the movie was boring. But again I was younger and wasn’t sure what to do. At least now I know what to do.
At one of my trivia nights I was hosting, a mom breastfed her baby right there at the table. She had a covering, but I wouldn't have cared if she didnt.
No one said a word to her about it and I was so proud.
Also while she was feeding, she wanted some of her water but couldnt reach it so her husband went and got her a straw and held the cup for her so she could get some water.
The “no breastfeeding in a restaurant” crowd are crazy. Babies deserve to eat with their families, not in a fucking toilet stall. Anyone who says they should feed in the bathroom is crazy. If men feel the need that women should hide while breastfeeding, the least they can do is institute a law where every restaurant must build breastfeeding rooms. A nice, cozy lounge room for women and their feeding babies.
I bet the same men would then complain about how it’s not fair for businesses to have to spend this money on women who ChOoSe to have babies and bring them out… Won’t complain when the kid is old enough to exploit order off the menu, though.
Never mind that babies are kids so your point is silly right from the start. Taking rights away from mothers because it makes others "uncomfortable" is an absolute dog-shit, backwards take. Don't make it sexual to the kids and they won't grow up thinking it's sexual.
It’s definitely fine. Hell if people wanna be naked at breakfast I say let them! It’s natural! If they wanna start some shit it up same goes. Society really just needs to pick a fucking lane.
I never saw the issue? Cause like most women already use like swaddling cloths to cover as much as possible. And for those that don’t it’s just fuckin boobs man what’s the biggie? I suck on those things at 23 who am I to tell a baby not to?
Weird for this to be a history class debate. Should just be a biology or sex ed topic: feeding babies is natural and normal, don't be a weirdo about it.
I 100% agree with this comment, most men sexualize women in the most disgusting ways. For that reason specifically I think there should be more public private rooms for mothers to go to breast feed because some sick guys are going to get off on seeing that.
The person that made the statement wasn't the teacher. Nothing about the teacher was mentioned in this story. I doubt the teacher would "rarely talk in" the class they're teaching.
First of all, tears. Also, people spit in public literally all the time. Finally, the big difference is those other fluids aren't being used to keep another, entirely dependant living being alive.
Thank you. I can’t believe that a baby eating has been somehow equated to some one pissing in public. And the point about blood or bleeding in public is ridiculous. If someone is bleeding in public, I think the normal response is concern for their health. If he’s talking menstruation, does he want menstrating women to remain in hiding at home for 1 out of 4 weeks?
does he want menstrating women to remain in hiding at home for 1 out of 4 weeks
There are some religious nuts who think that - women needing to go away while they are impure/unclean. Which is one of the usually many reasons they are nuts.
It's the baby's food though
I can view where you're coming from, but if you're able to reframe it and understand it is a mother feeding her child, it's not gross, it's nature. It's not just 'fluid', it's food.
Yes, having someone spit on you is gross, it's meant for helping to break down food and keep your mouth and throat moist. So if it's doing anything other than that yes, it can seem gross.
Blood, supposed to be inside your body, helps bring nutrients and oxygen to where it needs to go. Period blood can be gross, as it's shedding the uterine lining, it's supposed to be waste at that point, so yes that can be gross if it touches you and it's not yours.
Urine, purely an excretory fluid, meant to take the waste out of your body. Yes if it gets on you that's gross.
Breast milk, meant to feed a newborn baby, if it gets on you that can be gross if it's not your child that's wanting to drink it. But seeing someone else feed their baby? Not gross, if you don't like it, don't look. But it's doing exactly as nature has intended, it's going exactly where it needs to go.
It's not waste or accidental like your previous examples.
People regularly ask for spit cups at bars when they have a lip in. That shit is gross but if you're not spilling or otherwise making it my problem I don't care at all.
You piss in public, in the appropriate setting and 'equipment' called a toilet. You eat and drink in public almost everywhere. So why shouldn't breastfeeding also use that logic?
To people who justify shaming or insisting that parents should conceal or privately go breastfeed their child because someone *might* sexualize a boob or that it's weird to express bodily fluid, here's my input. *Every* bodily fluid has subsect of people who sexualize or fetishize it, that is absolutely no reason to justify shaming those bodily fluids into expressing them somewhere outside of where it is already acceptable. I don't cave to perverts and I don't think they should be dictating norms in our society. Let me correct you on some normal bodily fluids that are regularly expressed in public.
Sweat is definitely one of those perfectly normal expressed bodily fluids despite what capitalistic society is trying to convince us of. Gyms, sports, manual labor, puberty, saunas, under stress, summer, public transit. No one really shames each other for sweating (unless they don't wipe their down gym equipment) or tells them to "go sweat somewhere else."
While I'm not personally fond of it, spitting is a regular occurrence in sports, at the dentist, out the car window and outside in general, for good luck and well wishes in some cultures, for curses and to show disdain in some cultures, and even indoors in some Asian countries I'm told. I personally don't like mouths and would prefer all people to spit into tissues, I can understand why culturally it's inappropriate to blanket shame this particular bodily fluid and I also recognize, sometime you just need to emergently expel mouth fluids and a barrier simply isn't available.
People cry, sneeze, and blow their noses. All perfectly acceptable bodily fluids to "express" in public. We just make sure to teach children to use their arm, hand, tissue, handkerchief, mask etc. to act as a barrier and protect each other from illnesses when appropriate. It's hardly something to be ashamed of either to cry in public. Homo Sapiens need connection and we often grieve or share tears of joy in solidarity.
Expelling waste (urine, vomit, feces) is so normal, we make publicly available places to do it in "private." Some of us even bring our friends along with us to keep each other company. Many of us are care givers and have to help others with their toileting. No shame, because it is so human. We make really fancy places to expel waste. There's shows, blogs, and entire industries surrounding maintaining these rooms.
Blood is a totally normal thing that you may one day see in public. Usually, when that happens, other human beings show concern instead of shame and try to help the bleeding person. We take those bleeding people, when appropriate, to a hospital (without shame lol) for assistance. Blood is so vital, we even developed techniques to share it! So many careers deal with blood on a daily basis. Some people even have to deal with their own blood frequently (sometimes even in public *gasp). Shout out to all my diabetic homies. No shame, because sometimes people just need to bleed.
Breastfeeding is so essential, that 1 of the around 107 classes in the Animal Kingdom- Mammalia- spanning about 6,500 species have developed modified sweat glands to feed their offspring. Another totally normal human (almost universal to all life) thing we need to do is eat. We created fire, tools and skills, cultivated billions of dollars of industries, destroyed ecosystems, developed agriculture, domesticated and endangered entire species of animals, invented social media, and restaurants all in the pursuit of enjoying life-sustaining food together.
Babies, despite being so much smaller, surprisingly require eating 2-10x more frequently than adults. So, parents, because they are human beings (who can't just drop off the face of the earth until their children eats only solids) will end up feeding their offspring in public, often AT THE SAME TIME as they are eating. How isolating and inconvenient it is for two members of the family to have to go find somewhere private, set up and get comfortable and wait for a let-down in this new location, all with a crying screaming infant, only for just the mom to not be able . So, why, on *earth* would anyone find it appropriate to ask a parent to go somewhere where people expel waste to feed their child?
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Epic slam dunk!
Last night my niece breast fed her baby. At a restaurant. In public. At the table. No one said a word.
As it should be.
Did she get charged a corkage fee?
That baby should have been.
Don’t give greedy restaurants ideas…
"Sorry ma'am, no outside food or drink"
Quiet babies are worth whatever they get paid.
BYOBoob
The hunger of a baby should easily outweigh anyone having feelings about what that looks like.
Every. Damned. Time.
Love this being the top comment and the one under it is me, a server, trying to ensure I'm not making the mother uncomfortable as she feeds her baby.
The rest of the family is about to eat, why shouldn't the little one? Plus they'll be quiet after.
And once baby was fed, he got handed off so mom could eat her shredded chicken in molé sauce in peace.
Thank goodness. It’s feeding a baby. What the hell is wrong with people? (White man, 57 years old here, if it matters)
58 for me, and I have worked most of my life in food service. I have told numerous guys to shut up about a woman doing what they do.
Ladies, feed those babies, it's what they need.
Thank you! I don't understand why anyone would think it is gross, it is literally what they were made for! I honestly don't understand why many countries are so weird about beasts. It's odd to me. Males can display their breasts, why is it weird for females if the need arises?
I fully identify with this comment!
Then the restaurant kicked that baby out cause they have a strict "no outside food or drink" policy.
I was looking for this comment! Was thinking of the exact same joke
Babies deserve to eat with their families, not in a fucking toilet stall. Anyone who says they should feed in the bathroom is crazy. If men feel the need that women should hide while breastfeeding, the least they can do is institute a law where every restaurant must build breastfeeding rooms. A nice, cozy lounge room for women and their feeding babies.
I bet the same men would then complain about how it’s not fair for businesses to have to spend this money on women who ChOoSe to have babies and bring them out… Won’t complain when the kid is old enough to
exploitorder off the menu, though.Fortunately we had no such foolishness happen. I have to wonder how much of the acceptance was due to it being a Mexican restaurant. Also, we were white and white privilege is a thing. Also, my niece was pretty discreet about it and kept everything covered to the point where a casual glance might not have been enough to tell the baby was breastfeeding.
TLDR; 12 yo breastfeeding at my job, legal confusion of right to feed and CP. manager offered towel baby spit up on his crotch. Grown man standing in front of topless 12 yo with white liquid dripping from his groin, no winners.
Worked at a YMCA as a life guard, there was a girl in a Jr. high t-shirt breast feeding on the deck with both breasts out albeit with the baby on one. The issue was her age confirmed to be (cough) 12, now you can’t ask women to cover when breastfeeding in our state, but the issue of her age and CP as there were adults about. Now it’s not just guys but women that could be charged for looking at topless 12 year olds. City lawyer was called, said offer her something to cover herself but don’t push the point. Manger walked over with towel. The girl reached out for the towel. Baby popped off, spit up milk on managers crotch area. 30 yo manager now standing in public in front of topless 12 yo with white liquid dripping from his groin.
That sounds like a bad day at work and the manager has my sympathies.
America's laws are designed to screw people, not protect us.
I hate how many anectdotes are out there about 12yo moms.
😰
tbf the og post is old enough to have its own reddit account by now
What makes me sad is all this stuff America is suddenly relitigating now, thanks to the whack job right wing government; abortion is now fucked. Civil Rights are being stomped, especially if you happen to have any skin color darker than lily white. Racism is now not just rampant but openly encouraged. Fascism is no longer what we fought a World War against but now it's the new economic order....
What the actual fuck, America?!
a restaurant owner in my hometown kicked a woman out for breastfeeding her baby and she was completely covered. dude has a history of being an asshole to staff and customers but consistently gets away with it due to it being privately owned.
Put him and the restaurant on blast across the entire state for that bullshit and management will understand that obeying the law is required for a successful business model.
they blasted him on facebook for it and over half the comments were on his side saying they didn't want to see someone breast feeding while they were eating 🙄
Doesn't matter. The law is the law.
A female pool manager in a 2 piece swimsuit yelled at me for nursing my baby at a table by the pool.
The only time I ever had an issue with someone breastfeeding in a restaurant was when I went to a local sushi place with a friend of mine and we were seated right next to a family with a school aged kid and a baby. At one point the mother stood up from their table, walked over to ours, sat at our table right next to my friend and still without saying a word, whipped her whole breast out and started nursing the baby. We were so flabbergasted, we were speechless. Thankfully we had already finished our meals, so we just stood up awkwardly, went to the server to pay and left.
Well that's invading your space; it had little to do with nursing a baby.
Breast-feeding in public is completely legal. There are actually protections in all 50 states! If someone has a problem with it at a place like a restaurant, they are the one that has to be moved. You cannot legally ask a mother to cover up, leave, or move away from someone.
This comment blew up and I've been get responses that describe a whole range of people's reactions. A few talk about being kicked out of restaurants and such. It appears that there are still people stuck in the Neanderthal Era on this subject, thankfully they are few and far between.
Always feels awkward when I'm taking an order and midway through realize she's feeding a baby under her clothing and we've been maintaining eye contact and having a conversation.
Like I'm definitely not complaining, but do wonder if they feel uncomfortable interacting with a stranger during. Either way props for the discretion because I notice a ton of details around me.
We don’t. And we have mad respect for people who can take it in stride.
Well now I feel worse because I definitely get awkward when I realize what's taking place. Again, it's not that I have a problem with it. I'm just fucking awkward. lol
While I have no issue interacting with a woman nursing it feels respectful to avert my eyes. Plus I don't want to glance down and have her think I'm trying to see part of her body.
Typing this all out I'm definitely overthinking it.
As long as you didn’t say anything about it, you did fine. We’re used to stares of disapproval and awkwardness. Awkwardness can be chalked up to inexperience.
I appreciate the insight. Have trouble with both social queues and what is a proper amount of eye contact.
Sorry something so natural becomes a point of debate.
If you're having a conversation, keep eye contact through the conversation. Its not strange. Just dont stare at her boobs. Honestly it was strange when people talking to me wouldn't meet my eyes just because I was breast feeding. It's not a private thing that needs ignoring. But it doesn't need to be called out. Just treat it like a big obvious birthmark or mole on someone.
Always the first thing I think of 😂
Many years ago when I was living in NYC, a friend and I were walking around Tribeca. I noticed a woman with a cute baby and saw she was sitting on a bench breastfeeding. I thought, “good for her” since this whole debate about breastfeeding in public was raging even back then. I had sun glasses on but realized the mom was looking at me as it was just her, her husband and baby, and my friend and I were the only other people.
It was only then that I realized it was Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Saarsgard. Immediately, I wanted to blurt out I was just looking at you feeding your baby, didn’t realize you were famous.
Thank GOD I managed to stop myself since that would have been so much creepier and worse! I just quickly picked up the pace to explain to my friend what happened, since he’d be distracted by his phone.
This is now one of those intrusive memories that randomly make me feel like dying from embarrassment or keep me up at night lol.
Nah, it's okay BECAUSE they're famous. They must be used to people being temporarily star-struck when meeting them. Better than being caught staring by a random woman breast-feeding.
At least you’re not making a big thing about it!
It’s something natural, a baby needs to eat, it’s the whole purpose of breasts. It’s the whole stigma around it, but feeding from the breast is the same as feeding from a bottle. In my mind, if you’re looking away when a baby is getting the breast, you should also look away when they’re getting the bottle. For the mother it’s the same, they’re feeding the baby.
But honestly, I’d rather have someone look away and be respectful about it, than that someone is giving a disgusting face and commenting on it.
Normalization of stuff like this takes time. Just keep doing your best
I don’t have kids yet, and I’m a woman, but even I feel awkward, and I think women should be able to breast feed wherever they feel most comfortable. It’s just not common to see it, and you know they’re exposed even when covered, so it catches you by surprise and you don’t know where to look.
People averting their eyes and refusing to even look at me while I was talking made me feel absolutely awful and less than human. Like a boob is just a boob and it was more bothersome that I was just a boob to a man, and not a mom feeding a baby.
Seriously. My thought is that if they are comfortable enough to breastfeed in front of me, then I’m comfortable enough to talk to them. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t.
I’m not attacking you, but I’m genuinely curious about your thought processes regarding why you imagine a woman might feel uncomfortable conversing with someone at a place she chose to be at, interact with others, & to feed her baby?
I mean, the purpose of human breasts is, first & foremost, feeding lil’ humans. That’s been the unchanged for a gazillion years. Obviously breasts are more natural than a bottle, & I can only imagine you wouldn’t wonder if a woman felt awkward making eye contact & conversing with you while she held a bottle to her baby’s mouth...
???
Well ignorance mostly. I have no idea what breastfeeding is like. You're fairly vulnerable during, which can make certain interactions awkward or anxiety inducing.
Say I'm taking a piss and someone starts talking to me and maintaining eye contact the entire time. That's not a situation I necessarily want to have happen.
Yea, her having part of her body exposed is the main reason I'm considering her feelings. The baby consuming food is not part of it at all. lol
Please do not compare taking a piss with breastfeeding.
Yeah, it's a terrible comparison. I compare breast feeding to a large obvious mole or birth mark. Its natural, it's not inappropriate, it's just something slightly different that you dont see all the time. So dont stare at it, and dont bring it up. Just talk to the person normally or go about your day without saying a word.
I didn't mean to compare the two acts. Just they're both situations where you're slightly vulnerable.
Your comment reads as if you think I was saying looking at a woman breastfeeding is akin to watching someone take a piss, which isn't what I said at all.
u/mental-clerk
As a mother who has breast fed two children. Personally, it is not a vulnerable act. The only reason one could feel vulnerable is because society makes women feel like the act of breast feeding is not welcome. Is it vulnerable to feed a baby a bottle? The bottle is just attached to a breast feeding woman. Yes, if a woman is uncomfortable breast feeding in public, it's a vulnerable act. But our society made it that way. So the more people that treat breast feeding like the completely natural action that it is and not something that should be hidden away, the less women will feel vulnerable while doing it.
But all in all, if you encounter a woman openly breast feeding in public, it is reasonable to assume she does not feel vulnerable doing it. So just treat her normally.
Personally I feel vulnerable any time I'm in public and unable to take action in an instant. Even holding a small baby I'd feel slightly vulnerable because moving very quickly, like in an emergency, I'd have to prioritize the safety of the child.
Maybe this is a me thing as I'm an anxious personality.
Also I think you and I were talking about different types of vulnerability.
Whether you meant to or not, you did.
I really wasn't comparing the acts. I was comparing the state of physical vulnerability you put yourself in doing either. Reading comprehension is tough, I know.
I think I understand you. But anytime you’re holding a baby, you’re basically vulnerable in the same way.
Because we “live in a society”. Women shouldn’t feel embarrassed to feed their baby in public. But, she can still feel shame because she’s been shamed. Women are humans, not magic creatures who can turn off the negative emotions (I know you know, I’m just being silly!). I can “fuck it, I’m wearing what I want!” but still be embarrassed about my body. And feeding a baby isn’t as free of a choice as choosing an outfit. She might be embarrassed about breastfeeding in public, but the bathroom smells so awful she wants to puke in there, etc.
I used to also feel awkward talking to someone breastfeeding, just because it's not normalized in my society. But then I had a baby and breastfed them and realized that for mothers of babies, it ends up feeling no more private or taboo than feeding them with a spoon. With newborns they have to feed literally every 2 hours so at home you often constantly have the baby attached to you, and you end up having to do a lot of stuff while it's happening, including talking to any friends or family that come to visit.
After a while boobs no longer feel sexual or "exposing" to you...they feel like a basic tool for your baby like a bib or a swaddle. Having your boobs out starts to feel normal really fast at home, and when you're in public you forget that it's even happening and will just be chatting away and then remember that some people still live in "boobs are scandalous sex beacons" world and you ask yourself how that ever felt normal to you. Almost like the way other people see them is now way more foreign to you.
Wtf, does your country not have parental leave when you have a baby?
Millions and billions of dollars paid by nestle ensure that Americans don’t get maternal leave , so that mom goes back to work and has to buy formula instead of breastfeeding. Of course we don’t have leave.
😭
I had to go back to work 2 days later.
It…it was not a great experience.
Oh wtf. That's just fucking inhumane. I'm pissed off just reading that. I'm sorry you had to experience this.
I remember reading about a woman who gave birth on Friday and was back at work on Monday smh
If people sometimes need a week off for a cold in what world would 2 days be enough after fucking giving birth? I don’t want kids but that shit annoys me tf
I'm the server and they are guests dining in.
Absolutely not uncomfortable feeding a helpless baby the way nature allows us to. We see animals nursing from their mothers and go AWEEEEEE!!
If I’m uncomfortable I can leave. If you’re uncomfortable you can leave.
Also, I think many people especially men don’t realize how often a baby nurses or feeds. Some babies nurse for a few minutes, some and many nurse for up to 40+ minutes, factor in that babies of different ages feed every couple-few hours. The baby is on that breast just as much as it’s off the breast, she likely doesn’t even realize she’s feeding and having a conversation anymore.
It got to the point I’d walk around my house with my breast pump on, and it does not look pretty. Sometimes I forgot had full on conversations while my nips were getting reefed by air suction. When something is so frequent throughout your day it becomes a new normal.
The only person who likely noticed in that interaction was you. The eye contact part is weird. Should she turn her head in shame for feeding a baby? Would that have seemed more normal? Bodies are bodies, boobs are meant for feeding babies, and serve as an erogenous zone - just like our other baby making parts. (Biologically, we’d be less likely to have babies if those same parts didn’t cause pleasure. It’s only sexual because people can’t compartmentalize or have nuanced thinking. (This mentality is deeply ingrained because of patriarchy and lasting social effects of religious doctrine).
I understand this from a server perspective, and being taken off-guard by it happening when you don’t realize it. Honestly doesn’t bother me, but I get “that” moment when you realize it’s happening lol
as a guy i never understood this. a baby's gotta go eat too, why make them eat in a bathroom? you don't make anyone else do that. never seen anyone insist that tyler eat his pizza rolls while sitting on a toilet.
Of course, if Tyler does want to eat his pizza rolls while sitting on a toilet, he should have every right to do so.
honestly, tyler probably does this anyway in between rounds of flinging racial slurs at people on call of duty lol.
Catching strays out here wtf
Maybe get your shit together and we'd leave you alone.
yeah man, you gotta quit it with the 'totino's and toilets' thing. it's not at all the same thing as cars and coffee no matter how much you try to convince us.
Temu Dungeons and Dragons.
Literally! I don't get it. Like take the most base, gross, male approach to it. Baby eats and you get to see some tiddy as along as you are cool and don't stare. WHO IS BEING HURT BY ANY OF THIS?!?!?
Honestly, I promise don't have a fetish. These guys are just making things unnecessarily tougher on everyone.
America, you got a severe issue.
No we don’t.
We have many severe issues! Winning!
I hate it here.
We're number one! We have the most severe issues.
YEAAHH…. wwaiiittt a minute…
We're the only global superpower, yet we fucking suck to live in at the same time. It's sort of impressive in a way.
This is the type of thing that can only be spouted by people who haven't lived anywhere else for long enough. The average person in the US is way better off than the vast majority of the world by every metric and on par with most of Europe for most metrics. Even the worst off in the U.S. have it better than a very large chunk of people in the world. Your (and many other people's takes) that the U.S. sucks to live in is a view that completely lacks perspective. The U.S. definitely has its problems but, in a comparative sense, it doesn't "fucking suck" to live in.
“No, I haven’t got a problem. I’ve got problems. Plural!”
My wife breastfed 3 kids in public in Indiana and never had an issue. Nobody ever said a word. Anecdotal, I know, but thought I would give my perspective.
I attempted to breastfeed my kids in public (completely covered up with those horrible modesty covers) in Indiana and always had an issue. People were incredibly vocal, though it was usually snorts or harrumphs :/
What in the post indicates that this took place in America?
Not many places around the world have different places for different school subjects instead of all taking place in the same classroom.
Also, if you see some dumb or weird shit on here, chances are it's either USA or India, so it's a good guess saying USA and at worse it will be like that Simpson's meme.
https://preview.redd.it/r85j3uyv717g1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=07dc9f4e4cd27e6a97f7bf6c7bbdf9f2a159fb63
It probably is the US because of the use of the word "bathroom", but nevertheless...
Many (maybe even all?) countries in Europe do this, at least for their schools for (roughly) age 11 onwards. There are single classrooms for young children in primary/elementary schools, but not later years. Montessori or Steiner schools are more likely to have "homeroom" classrooms, but they are very uncommon, except maybe Austria.
Yea in Norway we had all of our classes in the same classroom from 1st to 13th grade. Only exceptions were more specialized classes that you picked yourself (I.e., language, arts, music, higher level chem/bio/math classes). The gen eds were all taught in our “home classroom”
When baby formula became widely available it was almost a status symbol for women. Formula companies for years pushed hospitals and doctors offices to unload their starter formula kits on parents. It was a great moneymaker and society with working Mom's moved to formula. It wasn't until more recently that a push was made to allow nursing moms to take pumping breaks so they could continue nursing after returning to work.
In a nutshell, it is the Big Formula that that made natures perfect first food uncomfortable for society.
Nestle did a fine job of killing and permanently disabling a ton of kids in the process too.
r/FuckNestle
Even now in America, I can take a pumping break, but I have to make up the time later. So ridiculous. So I have longer days because I have to pump and have a baby 🙃
I wish we lived in a country that cared for and protected its citizens, damn it.
Jokes on them, my breast fed beast of a baby boy could absolutely handle those formula babies
AND EVERYBODY CLAPPED
Yeah, it's a great response, but they probably thought of it in the shower that night lol.
The point is valid, but this reads like something out of a highschool anime
I'm confused by how this post fits the sub at all??
This sub has no theme. People post anything they want and make up some title so that it “fits”
Oh no, breasts being used for their intended purpose! The horror.
This is a very r/thathappened kind of post.. I bet all the women in the building stood up and clapped too.
Yup immediately thought this
yea, I don’t think this happened at all. I doubt any young men have issues with breast feeding.
you'd be surprised, i guess.
i mean maybe, but i doubt a bunch of middle/high school boys got into a debate about breast feeding during history class.
Did you know there are history classes in college?
i do, did you know usually when you use the term “boys” your referring to someone younger then college age.
Hi, was a teacher for 5 years, boys/men tend to like boobs.
This was a college history class? So they aren't boys, they are young men/teenagers - who are even more likely to like boobs. Even if they didn't they wouldn't care unless they were religious with some kind of socialization behind the disgust i.e nudity bad.
When I was in college, a classmate did a project for our sociology class where she breastfed her baby in various locations in the mall to see what kind of response she got. The best was when she was standing in front of a Victoria’s Secret window and some guy yelled at her to cover up because there were children around.
Thats what happens when you say the offending truth lol
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I wasnt generalising to that extent, what op said has some truth to it tho
A sudden insight, an apprehension of a perspective so different from one's own viewpoint, may not hold the truth, but undoubtedly provides better triangulation to it.
Good thing that wasn't the claim.
If I say "that's what happens when you stay in the sun all day" in response to a burn it doesn't mean I'm claiming all burns are an indications of staying in the sun all day.
A lady asked me if she could use our store’s fitting room to breastfeed her baby and you would think she was asking me where the nuclear codes were. She couldn’t stop thanking me for the simple gesture of saying yes and letting her through. Not even a true public setting and she was still conditioned to feel dirty about it.
We want women to have lots of babies and take pride in creating life but then we treat them like they’re streaking through a church when it comes time to do the most natural thing that all animals do, and that’s feed their young.
I've been in this conversation before. It's so frustrating.
And then everyone clapped
This feels like an "and then everybody clapped" kind of story.
Then everyone clapped!
r/thathappened
I'm a dude. The answer to should it be allowed anywhere is yes.
[PERVERTED COMMENT SEXUALIZING BREAST FEEDING SAYING THAT I WOULDN'T MIND IF MY COWORKER BREASTFED IN FRONT OF ME]
This never happened.
And then everyone clapped!
I’m from a country where it’s uncommon to cover to breastfeed (was literally told to remove my covering by family members, as they insisted it was not necessary here). Yet where I currently live (the US), I can’t even breastfeed at my in-laws house without a cover, which sucks when it’s too hot or when you have a very curious baby that refuses to stay under the cover
My baby hated any sort of cover and would scream. Fortunately that made people more cool with me not using one (at the end of the day they preferred a quiet boob over listening to a screaming baby I guess lol).
R/thatHappened
I don’t like being around that mostly cause I don’t want to make the woman feel uncomfortable. Few years ago we were watching a movie and my aunt was breastfeeding her baby. I stayed and didn’t look or move because obviously she was fine with me (a guy) and the others being around her during that moment so I was fine with it 🤷.
I can say as someone who was recently breastfeeding that it actually makes me feel super relaxed when a guy just continues talking to me or continues with whatever he was doing. When you have to feed a baby every two hours, doing it while talking to people just starts to feel normal (almost like talking to people while drinking a beer or doing a puzzle) and so the only time I was uncomfortable was when other people acted like I was doing something really inappropriate.
Fortunately for me a lot of guy family members and friends had kids and knew the deal so they would just talk to me the same as they always would while it was happening. Sometimes I would forget that I was even doing it because it felt so chill and casual.
That makes me a bit glad I did the right thing. Yeah we were just watching a movie. I was younger so I was like trying not to stare but did leave after like 10 minutes that and cause the movie was boring. But again I was younger and wasn’t sure what to do. At least now I know what to do.
Probably an imaginary situation
Censorship: "Breasts are not for children!"
Biology: "Uh actually breasts are literally for children."
While he probably didn’t say it still correct
Fucking genuinely 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
I mean as long as we all collectively agree to keep our pants on in public I‘m fine with pretty much everything.
At one of my trivia nights I was hosting, a mom breastfed her baby right there at the table. She had a covering, but I wouldn't have cared if she didnt.
No one said a word to her about it and I was so proud.
Also while she was feeding, she wanted some of her water but couldnt reach it so her husband went and got her a straw and held the cup for her so she could get some water.
Just a 10/10 from everyone involved.
The “no breastfeeding in a restaurant” crowd are crazy. Babies deserve to eat with their families, not in a fucking toilet stall. Anyone who says they should feed in the bathroom is crazy. If men feel the need that women should hide while breastfeeding, the least they can do is institute a law where every restaurant must build breastfeeding rooms. A nice, cozy lounge room for women and their feeding babies.
I bet the same men would then complain about how it’s not fair for businesses to have to spend this money on women who ChOoSe to have babies and bring them out… Won’t complain when the kid is old enough to
exploitorder off the menu, though.Why are Americans so scared of boobs?
r/thathappened
Wait. Did they open their mouths or shut them?
https://media.tenor.com/lqwGZfFVv6EAAAAM/fire-fly-uh.gif
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Kissing is more sexual than breast-feeding.
Never mind that babies are kids so your point is silly right from the start. Taking rights away from mothers because it makes others "uncomfortable" is an absolute dog-shit, backwards take. Don't make it sexual to the kids and they won't grow up thinking it's sexual.
I feel like this is an accurate statement but also very much a r/thathappened kind of situation.
It's just using a different interpretation of "and then everyone clapped"
It’s literally THE most natural thing in the world
It’s definitely fine. Hell if people wanna be naked at breakfast I say let them! It’s natural! If they wanna start some shit it up same goes. Society really just needs to pick a fucking lane.
Agree with the sentiment but this is the fakest shit I’ve ever seen.
Things that didn't happen.
Oh yeah. Spot on girl.
I’ll take things that never happened for $1000 alex
Cool story bro
And then everyone clapped.
Ah yes, the bathroom, where everyone enjoys their meals.
Ĺlp0
I never saw the issue? Cause like most women already use like swaddling cloths to cover as much as possible. And for those that don’t it’s just fuckin boobs man what’s the biggie? I suck on those things at 23 who am I to tell a baby not to?
Tell the guys to go eat their food in the bathroom if they wanna make a baby do it.
🙄
Weird for this to be a history class debate. Should just be a biology or sex ed topic: feeding babies is natural and normal, don't be a weirdo about it.
shiit give me a turn
Men think the display of a womans body is fun until they see her as a mother.Nothing wrong with that its the natural reflex of protecting mothers.
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Weird, ive never been called that. Must be more of a behavioral thing that makes people say that
I 100% agree with this comment, most men sexualize women in the most disgusting ways. For that reason specifically I think there should be more public private rooms for mothers to go to breast feed because some sick guys are going to get off on seeing that.
OOP forgot “and all the female students clapped while the female teacher wept with joy” 🙄
How would this "debate " come up in a history class?
Women's rights and the legislation passed around it.
Historic art depicting a nursing mother?
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The person that made the statement wasn't the teacher. Nothing about the teacher was mentioned in this story. I doubt the teacher would "rarely talk in" the class they're teaching.
Plus the fact this is most likely made up, I’m assuming everyone started clapping and lifted her on their shoulders after her mic drop of a statement
Well duh
I personally dont think its a gender thing, its the expression of body fluids in public.
Please correct me if im wrong, but is there another instance where the having liquid come out of you is ok? Spit, blood, urine...
First of all, tears. Also, people spit in public literally all the time. Finally, the big difference is those other fluids aren't being used to keep another, entirely dependant living being alive.
you’re not seriously comparing breast milk, which is meant to feed a baby, to those things, are you?
So the liquid coming out of a woman that KEEPS A BABY ALIVE is gross??? As gross as spit and urine (frankly I don’t think blood should be “gross”)?
That’s unhinged. It’s milk. Like cow’s milk or goat’s milk or any other milk people drink out of cups in public.
Thank you. I can’t believe that a baby eating has been somehow equated to some one pissing in public. And the point about blood or bleeding in public is ridiculous. If someone is bleeding in public, I think the normal response is concern for their health. If he’s talking menstruation, does he want menstrating women to remain in hiding at home for 1 out of 4 weeks?
Smdh
There are some religious nuts who think that - women needing to go away while they are impure/unclean. Which is one of the usually many reasons they are nuts.
Nobody is "expressing body fluids" on your food. If your argument is that they COULD, that's true for talking and eating too (and far more likely).
It's the baby's food though I can view where you're coming from, but if you're able to reframe it and understand it is a mother feeding her child, it's not gross, it's nature. It's not just 'fluid', it's food.
Yes, having someone spit on you is gross, it's meant for helping to break down food and keep your mouth and throat moist. So if it's doing anything other than that yes, it can seem gross.
Blood, supposed to be inside your body, helps bring nutrients and oxygen to where it needs to go. Period blood can be gross, as it's shedding the uterine lining, it's supposed to be waste at that point, so yes that can be gross if it touches you and it's not yours.
Urine, purely an excretory fluid, meant to take the waste out of your body. Yes if it gets on you that's gross.
Breast milk, meant to feed a newborn baby, if it gets on you that can be gross if it's not your child that's wanting to drink it. But seeing someone else feed their baby? Not gross, if you don't like it, don't look. But it's doing exactly as nature has intended, it's going exactly where it needs to go. It's not waste or accidental like your previous examples.
have you ever tried keeping urine in? its not a good thing
What an incredibly stupid comparison. Are spit, blood and urine food?
um... sports? like constantly.
also shut up, men pee in public all the time and they're all fine with that.
A good chunk of the population has blood coming out of their vaginas for 3-7 days every month. Are you not okay with these people being in public?
People regularly ask for spit cups at bars when they have a lip in. That shit is gross but if you're not spilling or otherwise making it my problem I don't care at all.
Thats kinda how I feel. Live and let live.
A spit cup at a bar is kinda gross though. Maybe if it was outside and the spit cup is adequately marked so as to avoid mistskes.
You piss in public, in the appropriate setting and 'equipment' called a toilet. You eat and drink in public almost everywhere. So why shouldn't breastfeeding also use that logic?
To people who justify shaming or insisting that parents should conceal or privately go breastfeed their child because someone *might* sexualize a boob or that it's weird to express bodily fluid, here's my input. *Every* bodily fluid has subsect of people who sexualize or fetishize it, that is absolutely no reason to justify shaming those bodily fluids into expressing them somewhere outside of where it is already acceptable. I don't cave to perverts and I don't think they should be dictating norms in our society. Let me correct you on some normal bodily fluids that are regularly expressed in public.
Sweat is definitely one of those perfectly normal expressed bodily fluids despite what capitalistic society is trying to convince us of. Gyms, sports, manual labor, puberty, saunas, under stress, summer, public transit. No one really shames each other for sweating (unless they don't wipe their down gym equipment) or tells them to "go sweat somewhere else."
While I'm not personally fond of it, spitting is a regular occurrence in sports, at the dentist, out the car window and outside in general, for good luck and well wishes in some cultures, for curses and to show disdain in some cultures, and even indoors in some Asian countries I'm told. I personally don't like mouths and would prefer all people to spit into tissues, I can understand why culturally it's inappropriate to blanket shame this particular bodily fluid and I also recognize, sometime you just need to emergently expel mouth fluids and a barrier simply isn't available.
People cry, sneeze, and blow their noses. All perfectly acceptable bodily fluids to "express" in public. We just make sure to teach children to use their arm, hand, tissue, handkerchief, mask etc. to act as a barrier and protect each other from illnesses when appropriate. It's hardly something to be ashamed of either to cry in public. Homo Sapiens need connection and we often grieve or share tears of joy in solidarity.
Expelling waste (urine, vomit, feces) is so normal, we make publicly available places to do it in "private." Some of us even bring our friends along with us to keep each other company. Many of us are care givers and have to help others with their toileting. No shame, because it is so human. We make really fancy places to expel waste. There's shows, blogs, and entire industries surrounding maintaining these rooms.
Blood is a totally normal thing that you may one day see in public. Usually, when that happens, other human beings show concern instead of shame and try to help the bleeding person. We take those bleeding people, when appropriate, to a hospital (without shame lol) for assistance. Blood is so vital, we even developed techniques to share it! So many careers deal with blood on a daily basis. Some people even have to deal with their own blood frequently (sometimes even in public *gasp). Shout out to all my diabetic homies. No shame, because sometimes people just need to bleed.
Breastfeeding is so essential, that 1 of the around 107 classes in the Animal Kingdom- Mammalia- spanning about 6,500 species have developed modified sweat glands to feed their offspring. Another totally normal human (almost universal to all life) thing we need to do is eat. We created fire, tools and skills, cultivated billions of dollars of industries, destroyed ecosystems, developed agriculture, domesticated and endangered entire species of animals, invented social media, and restaurants all in the pursuit of enjoying life-sustaining food together.
Babies, despite being so much smaller, surprisingly require eating 2-10x more frequently than adults. So, parents, because they are human beings (who can't just drop off the face of the earth until their children eats only solids) will end up feeding their offspring in public, often AT THE SAME TIME as they are eating. How isolating and inconvenient it is for two members of the family to have to go find somewhere private, set up and get comfortable and wait for a let-down in this new location, all with a crying screaming infant, only for just the mom to not be able . So, why, on *earth* would anyone find it appropriate to ask a parent to go somewhere where people expel waste to feed their child?