I firmly believe that the "Christians" who are the loudest in news, politics, and social media all have a persecution fetish. That's why they all start frothing at the mouth around this time of year, the holidays are a great time to pretend like they're being oppressed.
If that doesn't do the trick, then they have to resort to stories like this.
Dude accidentally shared his number one search term, "black lesbians", and then tried to act like he was indifferent to their actions while he recounted them with a fair amount of extra details.
Those are called hookers and only fans ads my guy.
(I know this just didnāt happen but itās funny to imagine this guy getting dm requests from girls ālooking to chatā and thinking they actually like him. I also doubt this guy can bench 135. And why is he telling these ladies how much gas he wants? Are these āBLACK GIRLSā supposed to be the cashiers who got so hot and bothered by his masculinity they couldnāt resist making out with each other mid shift?)
If he's a trucker then he might have actually been approached by some particularly aggressive sex workers. At the same time there seems to be some mental illness so everything is amped up.
"I'm NOT a virgin because girls don't like me, I'm a virgin because I don't like THEM! Even though I can't even do something as simple as pay for gas without imagining lesbian scenarios..."
Tell me you've never watched a porno without subtitles while muted by just describing your fantasy that you wouldn't even entertain because you need gasoline. I'm surprised they didn't fight over who got to fill him up.
Trying to decode this one. Best I can come up with is we have a guy that nobody is showing any sexual interest in. He wants to portray that as a virtue, so he made up a story to get all the kudos from his Christian facebook friends (who probably only added him because he attends the same church and they couldnāt turn him down without fear of consequences from him.)
Buuuutttā¦. He doesnāt want to risk looking gay by condemning all women as salacious strumpets, so he basically whines that the only women who show any interest in him are the black bisexual women who haunt the gas station looking for prime dick? I can only imagine heās hoping someone will take pity on him and say: āIām a racist white person too! Let me introduce you to my granddaughter.ā
Whatever the hell is going on, he has definitely been socialized extremely poorly. Iām getting small-town vibes and tons of parental neglect. Also betting that heās unattractive and heās always been ignored. Seems like heās desperate for any kind of validation, so heās counting on racists, Christian nationalists and homophobes to hit the ālikeā button out of a vague sense of solidarity.
I started off looking down on this guy but now I just feel fucking sad for him.
Yes, every now and then, youāll find erotica that turns into a morality lesson instead. Itās kinda bizarre. Itās like some people need to inject religion into everything they do.
Sometimes you encounter like this in person and it gets so awkward. Sometimes it is fun to encourage people like this to see what else they come up with.
Most memorable one was a man who was basically tight with all world leaders. It was so nice that they always sought how council when making any big decisions. And the things he saw when he was having dinner at the Buckingham Palace with the Queen of England, King of Saudi Arabia and the US president.
Well, he's right that there aren't any women out there for him. Nobody wants to be with a racist, religious idiot who posts his ridiculous sexual fantasies online.
āā¦and then they started doing 69 on the hood of my car! And I couldnāt just drive away, that wouldnāt be Christian. So I had to stand there and watch for an hour as they made sweaty, lesbian, black love on the hood of my car.ā
Should I
a) get quite a lot of therapy and other mental health interventions
Or
b) Invent an unbelievable scenario before ranting about Christ on the internet
š¤
I firmly believe that the "Christians" who are the loudest in news, politics, and social media all have a persecution fetish. That's why they all start frothing at the mouth around this time of year, the holidays are a great time to pretend like they're being oppressed.
If that doesn't do the trick, then they have to resort to stories like this.
Persecution is baked into their dogma.
"Sir, this is a wendy's."
That's just how Wendy's be now that Dave Thomas is dead.
It's a nicer wendys and they have ham
Yeah, but the chocolate and vanilla Frostys cohabitate, in direct violation of god's laws.
LOL
Worse, it's Mobil.
BLACK GIRLS did a homosexual act in front of him?!
This is what MAGA nightmares are. Poor thing, someone should set up a Go Fund Me for him.
Dude accidentally shared his number one search term, "black lesbians", and then tried to act like he was indifferent to their actions while he recounted them with a fair amount of extra details.
āOther kinds of womenā was so gross and telling.
Those are called hookers and only fans ads my guy.
(I know this just didnāt happen but itās funny to imagine this guy getting dm requests from girls ālooking to chatā and thinking they actually like him. I also doubt this guy can bench 135. And why is he telling these ladies how much gas he wants? Are these āBLACK GIRLSā supposed to be the cashiers who got so hot and bothered by his masculinity they couldnāt resist making out with each other mid shift?)
If he's a trucker then he might have actually been approached by some particularly aggressive sex workers. At the same time there seems to be some mental illness so everything is amped up.
Yup, this was the girl.
And him.
No, I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
Hanging out the passenger side of his best friend's ride
Trying to holla at me
In the name of the Lord, I REBUKE THEE, scrub
They were the original lyrics.
This made me laugh at work š¤£
Why is he trying to buy diesel at his local brothel?
I was absolutely picturing this in a dark club somewhere. That was one hell of a twist.
"I'm NOT a virgin because girls don't like me, I'm a virgin because I don't like THEM! Even though I can't even do something as simple as pay for gas without imagining lesbian scenarios..."
He's not ready for the "not liking girls" conversation yet
OOP. I searched pr0nhub for reasons to rebuke satan ā¦ and youāll never guess what happened next.
Donald Trump After Hours
Office hours, even.
Tell me you've never watched a porno without subtitles while muted by just describing your fantasy that you wouldn't even entertain because you need gasoline. I'm surprised they didn't fight over who got to fill him up.
https://i.redd.it/uxsmrx2zo76g1.gif
Take out all the fully capitalized words (aside from self reference) and you'll see the poor sap's truth.
I today the tried my soul and I I want sex I want multiple women in my bed
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh
[removed]
Holy shit, someone has not learned about joking on the internet.
Bro no - we write the erotic fantasy before jerking off to get dirty, not after to clean our conscience. Keep up.
[deleted]
This is real; I know because I was Pump 7.
What a weird way to come out of the closet to your friends.
Trying to decode this one. Best I can come up with is we have a guy that nobody is showing any sexual interest in. He wants to portray that as a virtue, so he made up a story to get all the kudos from his Christian facebook friends (who probably only added him because he attends the same church and they couldnāt turn him down without fear of consequences from him.)
Buuuutttā¦. He doesnāt want to risk looking gay by condemning all women as salacious strumpets, so he basically whines that the only women who show any interest in him are the black bisexual women who haunt the gas station looking for prime dick? I can only imagine heās hoping someone will take pity on him and say: āIām a racist white person too! Let me introduce you to my granddaughter.ā
Whatever the hell is going on, he has definitely been socialized extremely poorly. Iām getting small-town vibes and tons of parental neglect. Also betting that heās unattractive and heās always been ignored. Seems like heās desperate for any kind of validation, so heās counting on racists, Christian nationalists and homophobes to hit the ālikeā button out of a vague sense of solidarity.
I started off looking down on this guy but now I just feel fucking sad for him.
This reminds me of the guy who went THE BLOOD OF CHEESUS THE BLOOD OF CHEESUS in that Silent Hill 3 prank call
These people who make up stories and say they turn to the lord just feel like edgy teenagers talking about a life they wish for
Even in his fantasy he seems to protest too much.
Hey, whatever he's got to tell himself to sleep alone at night š¤·š¾āāļø
Yes, every now and then, youāll find erotica that turns into a morality lesson instead. Itās kinda bizarre. Itās like some people need to inject religion into everything they do.
Sometimes you encounter like this in person and it gets so awkward. Sometimes it is fun to encourage people like this to see what else they come up with.
Most memorable one was a man who was basically tight with all world leaders. It was so nice that they always sought how council when making any big decisions. And the things he saw when he was having dinner at the Buckingham Palace with the Queen of England, King of Saudi Arabia and the US president.
Why are random words capitalized, but others arenāt š
Loser.
I stopped at āBLACK GIRLSā
The devil doth protest too much, me thinks
This story is just a long-winded way for this guy to deny he wants to suck a dick.
Well, he's right that there aren't any women out there for him. Nobody wants to be with a racist, religious idiot who posts his ridiculous sexual fantasies online.
It reads like he pasted another story after the first one.Ā
āā¦and then they started doing 69 on the hood of my car! And I couldnāt just drive away, that wouldnāt be Christian. So I had to stand there and watch for an hour as they made sweaty, lesbian, black love on the hood of my car.ā
āThereās nothing out here for men like meā
Sounds like your God is either weak or has abandoned youā¦
Not today Satan š¼!
Type of guy who likes 2 jerk off in the mirror.
Oh this is so strange
"I don't want to have sex with *no one else*" implies he wants to have sex with Jesus (or Satan)?
Some men die of thirst while other men drown