I told my client the usual before the depo: “Answer only what’s asked. Don’t volunteer. Less is more.” Simple enough.
About an hour in, he’s giving the defense attorney a full autobiography. One sentence questions turned into ten-minute monologues. At one point I stopped the depo, looked him dead in the eye, and said: “Are you out of your mind? He asked you one question, not for a Netflix special. We’ll be here until midnight at this pace.”
He finally got the message at least for the rest of that depo.
Anyone else have a “client who wouldn’t shut up” story?
“Do you know what time it is?”
“It’s 12:30.”
“Stop doing that. Stop answering with more information than was asked. Do you know what time it is?”
“Yes”
The West Wing! Oliver was advising Abby.
I’ve been deposed twice in the past 15 years and each time I ran that quote through my head.
Thanks for remembering.
Ha! Guess I need to brush up on my West Wing. Might start using that line in prep sessions.
I used it in prep sessions. It was gold. It's simple and they get it. .
CJ.
Pretty sure this was when he grills CJ, but close!
I think he might have been advising CJ? No, wait, you’re right, I think it was Abby.
I raised my kids with this advice. It backfired one evening when my 12 yo. daughter finished doing the dishes in record time. ME: "I thought I told you to wash the dishes..." HER: "I did wash the dishes..."(imagine the smuggest of smug looks that only a 12 yo. daughter can wield). I go into the kitchen to find a sink full of soapy washed dishes. Not rinsed, or dried or put away, but washed. I gave her that win, and quickly expanded the lesson (to the whole family) to not only just answer the question, but clearly articulate your expectations and requests!
When I am annoyed with being questioned, I go to one word answers.
Drives my wife nuts sometimes.
Yes
My coworkers do this shit and I hate it. I asked if person X had the spreadsheet person Y mentioned and they just said "yes". Okaaay, could I maybe have it too???
Wait, are you mad they aren’t mind readers? If you want something you need to ask for it, not expect other people to guess it for you
Is there any other reason someone would ask if you had a spreadsheet than to get it from you...?
To me, it sounds like you were validating that person X had received a copy of the spreadsheet.
Yes, infinite possibilities, but you want them to assume the most likely reason.
Then maybe be a grown up and say what you actually mean. "If you have X spreadsheet, can you send it to me?" "Sorry, I don't have it." Your desire for implicit communication is a desire, not a requirement. It's emotionally immature to hold it against people. You are capable of asking for exactly what you want from the beginning, so do it. If everyone is doing something harmless except you and it only bothers you, guess who needs to make a change?
It's one coworker, every other person knows what I mean, because every other person gets that no one just wants to know if you have a spreadsheet and then nothing else.
So you have exactly one coworker you have to communicate more directly with and it's just unbearable to add a few more words for someone who understands things differently than you? Wow.
You're taking this way too seriously, man. I have a hundred thousand tasks, and so does everyone else. Most of us forget to even finish our sentences in messages because we get called for something halfway through, or send a message with no attachment that we're specifically referencing. It's general practice to assume the end of someone's sentence/anticipate their asks if you have the time. If you don't, it takes everyone twice as long, with twice as many communications. Everyone does this, including this coworker. It's part of knowing your workplace, your coworkers, and having a team run smoothly. When something gets stuck, it's annoying.
Requiring implicit communication is unfair to people from other cultures and disabled people, but whatever. Sounds like the actual problem is that the business refuses to hire enough people to do the job.
Were they being questioned in a deposition?
I hate the opposite. People ask me if I have a bathroom, and I tell them yes. Then they look at me expecting more or like I'm an asshole (I am, but it's also probably some autism) until I finally cave and add "and it's down the hallway". Ask the right question and you'll get the right answer
(Also, I understand that's not how language or people work. I do the same thing and try to catch myself. There's always subtext/context/implications and part of communication is picking up on those things)
Yeah, you're just being pedantic. Language works how the majority of people use it, and a question like that implies the second question. It's descriptivism vs. prescriptivism all over again, just more nuanced.
Totally, and I'm theoretically very pro descriptivism but sometimes implications are just lost on me. Meanwhile I also get annoyed when people don't pick up on my implications. But I try!
I've been deposed twice. I was the opposite way. The lawyers kept prompting me to say more. Unfortunately prompting me for extra information tends to get the Autism Honesty to come out. Not sufficient to say that a guy involved in the accident was white and dark-haired? Well the only other information I have is that he was "a real close talker". The attorney really struggled keeping a straight face as she prompted me to explain the meaning of that description and I explained that he leaned in way too close to talk to me (lie to my face about how he definitely wasnt at fault for the accident he was at fault in).
... You know, it's just now occurring to me that that guy was standing in my personal space because he wanted to intimidate me. Ah well. It didn't work, clearly.
When I worked for the courts we had several repeat customers so to speak who were notorious for doing this in court. The one guy, always in and out for restraining orders and then criminal cases for violating those orders or making threats or assault, he was a former legal assistant at a local law firm so he didn't just have a podcast moment in court. He wanted his Perry Mason moment in court. He'd show up and demand a tripod so he could put up the little "exhibit" he'd printed at kinkos or wherever. He'd say "court's brief indulgence your honor" while rifling thru the 5 million printed screenshots of texts he wanted to enter into evidence about his messy on again off again relationship. He could turn a 100 word story into a 10000 word story. Always right before lunch too.
My favorite witness in court was a nervous military engineer who kept rambling about engineering in every question during cross. Very sweet man who saw an alleged assault at a very nerdy weekend hobby space and showed up to court like 4 times for postponements before finally testifying. just wanted to do his civic duty and had no idea when a question wanted a one word answer.
On the last guy, the military doesn’t recruit people with high social intelligence to be its engineers. In the Navy, the slang for “over thinking/explaining in excruciating detail when nobody asked” is “nuking it”, named for just such engineering talent.
My husband was a nuke. Genius IQ, with the emotional IQ of a potato. And yes, I tell him that lol
It was indeed a Navy guy. No one hires engineers for social intelligence - come from a family of engineers, lol.
Oh no, some engineers get hired for social intelligence. We don't get to do much engineering, because we mostly act as a buffer/translator for the rest of engineering.
You do invaluable work for the society, then
It has been said that In the Government Contracting world, no analyst has ever calculated a number that has resulted in the cutting of metal.
It's really hard for us laypeople to keep our mouths shut. It's not natural for us, especially those of us who are in a supervisory or managerial position where we are regularly explaining things to new employees to get them up to speed. I remember filling out some export paperwork for some technology that could possibly have military applications. So our lawyer comes to check it out. He grabs a red pen out of his pocket and crosses out 95% of what I wrote which was an in depth deep dive into our technology. "They don't need to know that stuff", he said. "It will confuse them and give them a reason to reject the application." His edits answered the questions with the least amount of detail that still answered the question. I redid the paperwork with his edits, got his approval on it, and we got our export permit.
Exactly — it’s not just depositions. The hardest thing for smart people is realizing less is more. Sounds like your lawyer saved you a ton of grief.
As someone responsible on my team for responding to our various audits (SOC2, ISO, etc...), my security team has done a great job of drilling into my head to only answer exactly what was asked.
I’ve had witnesses do the same once they get comfortable, it turns into story hour. Thanks for sharing this one.
I’ve been deposed once, because the dipstick who hit me thought, along with his attorney, he could intimidate me into dropping everything by dragging it out. And making me answer questions.
Turns out, if you want more than “yes” or “no”, you have to ask specific questions. And then I pointedly ask my attorney why you’re asking this, because I’m not entirely sure what I was wearing the day prior to the day of the “accident” has anything to do with anything.
Also, it’s apparently dangerous ground to ask me if I know the date and time because the only answer I will give is, “Yes.” If you ask me to be specific, well, I got admonished by a mediator for asking opposing counsel if he needed a watch, a calendar, or a keeper.
Not a client, a teen defender in juvenile court. He was there as a victim of gang violence who fought back. The judge was explaining that no weapons were ever to be taken into the school (this was before the zero tolerance stuff started). The teen interrupted the judge to ask, "What constitutes a weapon?" And, the judge let loose! She explained that even a pencil could be considered a weapon if used wrongly. (kid ended up with a deferred sentence and charges were dropped after a year)
So don’t take pencils into a school. Got it.
I know a guy who got a charge for "menacing" at 12 years old for grabbing a pencil like a knife and glaring at a teacher. Which? Wrong? But still seems extreme to me.
What! I got stabbed in the back with a pencil at school, at 12 years old - and I got suspended. It was Christian school, and the stabber was a boy, so. There’s that.
/r/pencilstabbers
WTF?
How the hell is there a subreddit for pencil stabbers?
I feel the need to add a fun fact. In 15th century in one of the European University cities the students kept instigating drunken brawls. As punishment they were prohibited to carry any blade with the exception of sharpeners for the goose feathers they were using for writing. They then started claiming that the swords they were carying were in fact sharpeners and they had no other blades on them.
Uh huh. So, don’t take knives, guns, ropes, garrotes, stilettos, grenades, rocket launchers, or pencils, into a school.
Mmmhmmm.
You can't take people into school either because they're biological weapons.
You sure can’t take kids anywhere. Little germ pools.
https://imgur.com/a/blO9Qqk
I had a witness who would not stay quiet. He was there to validate documents. What is this? I expected the answer this is a bill of sale not this is a document that... Circumstances of creation... Then he talked me through each point... I had prepped him but Jesus did we spend 10 mins longer than on him than we needed to (a 1/2 minutes witness)
NAL….but as a court reporter, I have soooo many of these stories. Some people just love hearing themselves talk….and some attorneys love the extra information gained when they do. A monologue after a yes/no question gets old after a while, though.
My mom is a stenographer. Only thing worse than clients like that is when the lawyers then decide to not order the deposition transcript. Lots of time for nothing.
Court reporters have the best war stories. You’re right ,once clients get comfortable, it’s like story hour. Makes you appreciate the ones who actually stick to yes/no.
Yea. My mom was doing a deposition once and the 2 lawyers started yelling at each other. The lawyer that hired her said keep recording and the other one yelled at her to stop immediately. Well the one who hired gets the say so she kept going. The other lawyer lunged across the table at her and the other one defended her. She transcribed that as a narration of action. Ie. Lawyer yelled to stop recording. Stenographer continues to record. Lawyer lunged across table….and so on. Neither ordered the transcript but she kept it for her own records. This was in 1995 I think.
Just to clarify what is hopefully a misunderstanding, it does not go by, "Well the one who hired gets the say". That would actually be highly unethical and goes against National Court Reporters Association standards. The industry standard is "if anybody wants to be on the record, you're on the record," or put another way "there must be agreement to go off the record."
I’m not a court reporter. My mom is. And this happened 3 decades ago when I was 14. So was just remembering it best I could and shared as a funny anecdote with the understanding that I wouldn’t know the context and nuisances entirely nor the legalities of depositions 30 years ago.
Sure, I'm not trying to shame or scold you for getting something wrong. I just thought it worth clarifying the actual standard A) for anyone reading so they don't think most reporters are this mercenary that they'll bias the deposition based on who is paying them B) in case your mom is actually saying this, in which case she very much shouldn't.
I was the dumb dumb & lost my temper. My adopted dad was a lawyer before becoming a judge so I know enough to be dangerous. Had a neighbor in a nasty custody dispute & I got called to testify (because we saw & heard a lot over the years). Everything was going great until opposing counsel kept objecting to every other word coming out of my mouth. At one point, opposing counsel yelled “hearsay your honor!” At which point, I snapped & said “it’s not hearsay, I was there. Do you not know the definition?” The judge reprimanded me & I apologized. No biggie. But I was pissed she got under my skin. I was taught better than that.
Just because you were there doesn't mean what you were saying wasn't hearsay.
"I saw.." is not hearsay.
"he told me he saw ..." is.
Farmof5 is CLEARLY in the first category.
Saw and heard. It's possible (and i would guess likely) that some of what op was testifying to was hearsay. It may have fallen under a hearsay exception, it's impossible to know with the limited facts provided. Also, people forget that a witness recounting what they themselves said may be hearsay as well.
I didn't say that op doesn't know what hearsay is or they what they were saying was definitely hearsay. I only said that being present at the thing they're testifying to doesn't preclude their testimony from being hearsay.
I imagine Trump's lawyers think that all the time.
The correct and only answers in depo almost always:
Yes
No
I don't know
Yes Yes Yes
I was that client once accidentally until my attorney stopped me
I’m a stenographer and I see this a lot. All the talking just leads to more questions and more time in the hot seat. The questioning lawyer likes when someone overshares, but then I’m looking at the witness’s lawyer like omg please shut your client up for all our sakes!
I find that most witnesses just want to drive home how hurt and mistreated they are like the law is gonna coddle them and be like “Oh, honey, here’s a million dollars because no one has ever suffered as much as you have even though you did no due diligence, you didn’t have surgery, you didn’t miss any work, you had no out-of-pocket expenses and your life generally did not change at all as a result of this incident.” 😒
I mean wasn’t it your job to prep your client?
you can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think