My daughter is one of those where we have an option of when to start her in kindy. She was born in mid-June - so can either start next year and be guaranteed as one of (if not) the youngest, or start in 2028 and (likely) be one of the oldest. She is big for her age and has a very calm/mature personality - we had some concerns about the social side, but have seen such incredible development in just the last couple of months.
For those who had the same option - what did you choose? How long ago was it, and do you have any regrets with the option you took. Or those facing the same option - what are you thinking & why?
I taught kindy last year; the oldest kid in my class turned six in April, the youngest turned 5 in July. The difference between them was unbelievable. Even though some of my younger students were calm and mature, they still were noticeably younger in their behaviour. In any other state you wouldn’t have a choice in the matter - the NSW cutoff is the latest, other states are between January and April (possibly May? Can’t quite remember!). With a June birthday she very likely won’t be the oldest, a lot of people are holding their kids back a year.
My own daughter turns 5 this July and we’re not sending her to school this year, she’ll go when she’s 5.5. While I think she’d do absolutely fine in kindy if we sent her this year, it’s also not just the early school years that I’m taking into account - I’ve seen younger year 6 girls struggling big time with friendships with much more mature (physically and emotionally) classmates, and I also would much rather that she turned 18 in her last year of high school rather than 17. Every single one of my colleagues (including some who have met my daughter) that I’ve discussed it with has said to me that in my shoes they’d wait and I don’t have any qualms about our decision.
I'm also a teacher, and agree with all of what you've said. When I taught kindy, I definitely noticed the youngest ones who turned 5 in the middle of the year were emotionally a lot more immature.
My eldest daughter's birthday is at the end of May, and I'll be sending her to school when she's 5.5.
I was just going to say this exact thing.
After consulting with my mother. A teaching AP for 30+ years, we decided to hold our May child back.
She's absolutely blossomed with another year at daycare. Was it a pain in our back pocket? Absolutely but we'd do it all again.
Academically it all levels out but emotionally is where you see the biggest benefit.
I'd read somewhere (probably a Malcolm Gladwell book) that kids are almost always better off being the eldest in their year rather than the youngest due to the rate of mental/emotional/physical growth during this part of their lives.
This was rated across academic and sporting success metrics as well. It looks like your experience backs that up. I'd look up the data if I could remember where the hell I read it.
Book: Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell (2008)
Podcast: Revisionist History, episode Outliers, Revisited (Published September 2022, Hosted by Malcolm Gladwell)
Another Kindergarten teacher and mum chiming in here- Hold her back. The syllabus and mainstream primary schooling is not designed for four-year olds. It’s not developmentally appropriate for children that young to be sitting still and concentrating for so many hours of the day. Four-year olds should be moving their bodies and their thoughts freely to play, not identifying the prepositional phrase in the sentence they have just written.
My mum is a K-2 teacher and always swears by holding them back. I believe there is some data to support this too (I think the effect may be bigger in boys also from memory)
Not everyone is in the position to hold back (which is why it’s more common in wealthier areas), but it’s definitely what we’re gonna do with our kids too.
Hold her back for another year.
She sounds like my daughter. We sent her early and, while primary was fine, she didn’t have the maturity for the hormonal shitshow that is high school. Particularly the hell that is Year 9.
Edited to add: she’s now 20.
Oh hell I remember those days……. Sighs
Yes, the emotional maturity is key here.
One of my kids was offered to skip a grade and that was our biggest concern was his emotional maturity compared to that of his peers.
For some of my kids friends who are “young” for the grade, that’s the biggest issue we see for these kids, is they find it hard at times as they are emotionally or developmentally physically delayed and for some kids this does affect them.
Good luck, big decision to make.
Keep her until she’s 5. My birthday is late March so not as extreme as your daughter, but I was always the youngest in my year. It’s not too much of an issue in primary school, but then in high school the age gap is noticed so much more. I was hanging out with kids almost a full year older than me, and then all my friends turned 18 without me and I was lonely and miserable.
Can attest. I was born late June, the youngest in my grade in all the schools I went to. Honestly always felt like I was a year behind everyone. While everyone started getting their licence I had to wait a full year to get mine, when it came to everyone turning 18 they went out clubbing, drinking, gambling etc obviously I was left out and by the time I turned 18 everyone was bored of all that and didn’t want to do it anymore. Had proper fomo those last few years
As a parent, these sound like good reasons to send your child early if anything 😅
I completely agree with this, with two younger siblings (young for their year) who struggled with the transition from high school, as they were socially isolated for about 6 months, including the first sem of uni. It doesn’t seem like much, but at that age this is a lot of time. Also, if your child is 17 at the start of uni, they often aren’t able to participate in a lot of the social activities (clubs/societies/pub events etc). As many of these things involve alcohol. If they live on campus this is exacerbated.
What I would say, is don’t let the next year ‘go to waste’. Your child has the opportunity to get involved in other ways to engage and stimulate them outside of school. Sport, an instrument, language etc. Are great ways to start practicing good habits that will serve them well in school! Supporting their brain and social development at this age is very important.
Yeah the real pain is when you're the last of all your friends to turn 18. The young guys in my year were super bummed when everyone else was going out to bars and clubs for the first time and they basically just had to miss all of that. Even at schoolies there were a few guys who still weren't 18 and had to stick to the all ages events while most people were going clubbing. You could tell they were pretty upset by it.
Speaking as a now adult who was born on the cusp of two school years, my parents sent me as early as possible and while I have become a fully functioning adult (and it probably helped my intellectual development), looking back at my challenges socializing in school and making friends, I think part of it was that I was too young and immature compared to my classmates. My sibling who was born and placed much more inline with like-aged peers did a lot better on the socialization front.
I was a 17 year old at the end of high school with a mid-year birthday. It’s a truly shit feeling when your friends go out to 18ths and you can’t go.
Then again, maybe it’s less of a thing now as kids go out less idk
Kids generally struggle more when they are put in early
Keep her back, being June she will still land somewhere in the middle age wise .
I have an April and a May kid. Both will go at 5 turning 6.
Everything I have read and everyone I have talked to said it’s better to wait. Sai they may be fine in kindy but you’re more likely to notice the difference when they’re a bit older
I have a July birthday and was always tall for my age. I was quite happy being the youngest in my year. I was busting to go to school.
I refused to nap and would read books while everyone slept. I still remember saying to my mum - tell them I don’t have to sleeeeeep.
Daughter is also a June baby.
Smarts she could have gone early. Emotionally, No. Straight out of the bag starting at school she was dealing with new friendships. There was a kid in her class that was autistic and wasn't diagnosed yet. She lashed out at some kids including my daughter. If my daughter went when she was 4.5y I'm not sure she would have dealt with that situation as well as she did being 5.5y. You've got to think of both side education but also mentally ready to deal with school dynamics. It can be draining physically too. I remember my daughter at the end of term 1 being buggered.
Another thing my wife and I discussed was the end of school too. If she does want to go to Uni. Most of her new Uni mates will be going out to over 18 venues. She may not be able to go to some and miss out on that social aspect.
Not a parent, just a teacher of senior students. I believe it is better to turn 18 in Year 12.
I can’t speak to the differences earlier, but they tend to mount in Year 9 and 10 (including with physical maturity) and a real divide can be created in Year 11 and 12 with driving, drinking, working, bars, clubs, and even if not a drinker/partier type, concerts. At the time, I imagine it would get quite isolating.
For instance, there were four in my group on our schoolies-equivalent trip that were 17 by year’s end. Sometimes I stayed back with them and played video games or board games, sometimes they tried to sneak in and join us, but at that age especially, as much fun as we were having, we were still hyper aware that our friends were having fun and new experiences.
Being over 18 at the start of the post-school year of university/TAFE/possibly moving/travelling can also be easier, though of course, not impossible.
One aspect with independence is that it is easier in terms of supporting oneself on the slightly higher pay than an 18-year-old gets compared to a 17-year-old at award wages.
My thoughts from an outside observer!
Going against the grain here, but I sent my June born daughter the earlier year and it was the right decision for her. Her March born sister starts the earlier year too in a few weeks.
They were emotionally and developmentally ready, and most importantly, needed the stimulation and structure of kindy and to be in a class of same and older aged kids, rather than another year of pre-school in a class that included a large amount of 3 year olds. My daughters alway work better in extra curricular activities where they are surrounded by older kids, and are ridiculously social so that has never been a concern.
I will also add that the age range in their classroom really depends on the neighbourhood - at our school, in the very outer Inner West, MOST of the parents send their kids the earlier year if they have that option. It is the kids that are held back who stick out in the class and struggle socially being in a classroom with predominately younger kids.
We did the same. My kids were bored out of their brains with daycare learning, they needed the structure and challenge of school. They’re now solidly in the middle of the pack academically, which makes me think they’d be advanced if held back (and the danger there is them being bored in class and so paying less attention/not learning how to learn). I think you know if they’re ready, and if you’re questioning that might be a sign that they aren’t.
Thank you, as a childcare educator I can't stand when parents think they are doing the right thing keeping a bored kid in the center, we will have made all the subtle suggestions and they disregard it all.
Then the behaviour issues start.. and that is our fault for not stimulating them with the same resources they have played with for 3 years..
Just send them to school, unless your educators are hinting otherwise.
I think it is sometimes ego where they want a kid that excels (in sport or academics) and so they send them late rather than really look at the kid in front of them. Not always of course but I have definitely seen it
I don't think being held back makes much difference academically, particularly in certain subjects. It all depends on the initial readiness for Kindergarten.
There's research both ways - some suggests that starting early helps academically - but it really goes down to the individual child.
Same here. I think girls can do particularly well - IF they're the sparky, confident types. For shy or nervous girls it's probably better to wait.
With boys I think it's way less advisable. I did Primary Ethics for K-2 and some of the boys were literally like toddlers in kindergarten (and I know some of these were early starts). The girls were pretty much all fine, able to sit and attend etc.
I'm having a third girl so will only have girls, but from my completely non-scientific observation girls appear more talkative and earlier good communicators than boys? That may also be a contributing factor.
If she is in some form of care, the carers should be able to tell you if she is school ready by the time enrolments open for 2027.
That said assuming you can afford to keep her in care, I would advise to wait.
There is an age gap up to 18 months these days between the oldest and youngest children in kindy.
Consider whether you'd prefer your daughter to be the baby of the class all the way through to year 12 (and not be able to drink legally until second semester of uni) or one of the older ones.
Early July child now in their 30s, backing up what others have said that in the long run it’s just better to hold back.
In earlier years I was academically on par with my peers and absolutely BEGGED mum to start school but it was miserable for me pretty much from day one socially.
The 18 month gap at that age is such a huge proportion of life at that point and it really makes such a difference.
I ended up falling behind academically too because the pressure of trying to keep up just got all too much.
A change of schools and repeating a year and (sitting in the middle age wise) it all turned around completely!
That being said if you’re in NSW might be worth checking with your local school to see if they’re part of the early roll out of the pre kindy program, it’s not rolling out statewide till 2030 but some schools will be introducing it earlier, it’s designed for four year olds to allow them to start a year early an do two years of kindy! Might be a long shot but could be worth looking into!
Hold them back. My brother was a July baby and went to school at 4. This may sound dramatic, but being the youngest in his year has effected him his entire life. Socially and academically behind and never caught up, of which the effects carried on and impacted him well into adulthood. I have no doubt his life would have had a very different trajectory if he'd been held back.
I've taught Year 7 kids who're 11 years old when the majority of their peers are 13. I've taught Year 12 kids who're 16 years old when the majority of their peers are 18. It's an almost universal rule that they will be left behind academically, as they aren't operating at the same levels of maturity and interpersonal responsibility.
Hold her back another year.
I have never heard anybody regret sending a child later.
Always choose later. They get one more year of childhood and they are more mature when they do their HSC. Also, they aren't the last to go through puberty.
Generally speaking the literature says start them when they’re older
If it helps I was born early July and was young for my year. I didn’t have any issues and have my masters degree. The only time really felt it was getting my driving licence and drinking age at the end of year 12 & start of uni. The other side of the coin is being the first to turn 18 - no one can go to a bar with you either. I also ended up in the regionals for every sport in year 7 since there were so few in my age group! There’s a great podcast called Pop Culture Parenting and episode on School Success which has some good advice on this from a practicing developmental paediatrician, could be useful. If you do hold her back - watch out for boredom for her in the final year of pre-school.
Try reading Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell it will help you make your decision
Studies say kids do better when they start older. Plus, I would want to let them be a kid for as long as possible before they have to join the regimentation of school.
Agree, give them another year of childhood.
Hold her back. Let them be kids and mature that little more. I started school at 6.
Sending both ours at 5 turning 6. My son needs the extra time for social development.
My daughter doesnt need that extra time, but her birthday is late April and I just think its better for her long term to not be a year younger than everyone else.
A lot of my friends in high school started early, and most of them needed extra support with maths and English. I think they would have benefited from starting later.
Definitely keep her back another year. Social development during play is so important for future success in school. I work in primary and the very young ones always struggle with the rules and expectations of kindergarten. She'll be more confident and ready next year.
My daughter is a mid Feb birthday and starts school this year - 4 going on 5.
According to all her day care educators - she is so ready for school it's not funny. To go old her back would be doing her a disservice.
So - my advice would be to get the advice from her educators. Is she ready or is she not
Preschool teacher here! Keep her back! For the love of God, keep her back. Reading and writing is what primary teachers do best, but building and supporting emotional/social development starts in the early years. We tell parents if they ask us if their child is ready for 'Big' school: can your child turn-take? Can they ask for help from someone they trust? Can they find similarities in other children/peers to which they can form relationships? There are soooooo many things that I don't have the space to name, but ensuring that your child is emotionally ready for school is the key.
Cousin was a May baby. She was getting a bit old for day care but was a bit young for school. She spent 2 years in kindy because she wasn’t quite ready for year 1.
She got her Masters a couple of years ago. Turned out alright in the end.
We were in exactly the same position as you.
Our daughter is also a mid June child. She was also physically big for her age. Indeed she is over six foot now.
I wouldn’t have described her personality as particularly mature but also not immature.
We started her young.
It was mostly plain sailing with no serious problems.
She was always the tallest kid in her year.
She was a bit slow with reading but did the reading recovery program and flourished.
Her school results in primary school were pretty much right down the middle at first but improved as she got older and she was near the top.
For a couple of years there she did have a reputation for zoning out in class and not completing work quickly enough.
She thrived socially.
She did very well in high school and got a great HSC.
She was slightly pissed off that she was not old enough to drink at schoolies! She found ways around that!
She completed a degree with distinction.
She is late twenties and has had a great working life to date.
She bought a flat in her early twenties in Sydney. I kid you not. No help from us - except we housed and fed her until she moved out.
TLDR: started our similar daughter young and it worked out very well.
Source: proud parent
Edit: there is a conventional wisdom that girls cope better than boys when it comes to starting early. Looking around the playground I think that might be true
This is absolutely the case based on what I've witnessed. And in high school, due to later male puberty, it can be even harder.
Yes, but it’s about how you raise them. Girls are not innately more mature than boys - they are simply socialised harder (held to higher standards of behaviour) and at a younger age. If we all had the same standards of behaviour for all children, boys would cope just as well as girls.
Who could’ve guessed that “boys will be boys” not only harms girls, but it holds boys back too!
They are socialised differently, but they also go through puberty earlier, which is an innate biological fact.
And even at a younger age there is data to indicate that girls have more advanced communication abilities.
Totally agree with you that "boys will be boys" is toxic and lets them get away with stuff that girls are punished for. But there are innate differences in behaviour regardless as a general pattern (with obvious overlap and some outliers).
Send her off to school next year
Some of the brightest people I’ve met started school ‘early’
Hold her back and keep her at daycare/preschool for another year. 4.5 is sooo young to be starting school and especially being a late June birthday. Having taught kinder for a number of years, the May/June/July kids always had the hardest time settling and focussing, because they are still babies who should be playing. Consider this: Vic/ACTs cut off date is end of April and Tasmania is Jan 1 - both of which are much more sensible than ours!
Remember too it’s not just about now, consider that she will be leaving school at 17.5. Will she be mature enough at this point to face the grown up world? She will be turning 18 well after her peers - will she have the emotional maturity to deal with this? She will also be starting high school young.
I was an early starter myself and I can tell you that it did not affect my grades whatsoever. It all depends on how you socialize. I never had the desire to drink or party much, didn't go to schoolies either and I still don't think I missed out.
Whether I ended up drinking? Oh yes I did. But I think the focus on being old enough to party is so strange - there are other things children and young adults can do besides drinking - maybe showing your children how to have fun without drinking can be a consideration.
Ultimately, I just want you to know whatever you decide to do there is no absolutes in your choice. Keep an open mind, and look at the benefits or negatives of each choice and do what is in your power. Choose whatever is right for you and your child.
Talk to her preschool educators and talk to the local school/s. I had an interview with one of the local schools early in the year, which was really beneficial for getting a read on the situation and also for getting the professional opinion of the teacher.
Online (especially on Reddit), the sentiment is to hold them back; but, you know your kid and teachers can offer advice from an educational and individual perspective, rather than some vague, generalist idea that it's bad to send them early. Definitely, do not send them if they're not ready, but it does depend on the kid.
I teach high school and couldn't tell you who started at 4 and who started at 5 - there are so many other variables at play when it comes to child development.
That’s because there is no evidence to suggest any benefit of sending a kid early, but there are risks to consider if you do. In other words, the risk profile very obviously favours kids being held back. The good thing is schools absolutely love it if you proactively approach them and orientation is the year before, so there's plenty of opportunity to make an informed decision.
Of course not everyone is in the financial or family situation where that is viable, so that also needs to be considered.
June 2022 daughter. Daycare costs $212 a day before CCS (covers about half), and we can’t get her into anywhere cheaper (i.e. a pre-school) despite being on lists for years.
We’ll be sending her to kindy at 4.5 thanks to this messy situation.. luckily she is very bright and mature for her age (and as big as a 5 year old despite only being 3)
i dont have kids but i hated being the oldest in my grade, so on that note, send her next year imo
There is always a cohort of younger students starting school. It’s never a bad thing.
Exactly - this is so critical but gets overlooked. If there's a large "early" cohort then it's barely noticeable. If the kid is the only one starting early, it may be tougher.
Guess the problem is, how would you know? As many have said, whilst it can be the starting years it’s really the later - puberty, driving, turning 18. Heard from a lot of people that are older now how much they hated it and I had never considered that aspect.. would definitely start my kids back if I needed to but luckily their bdays are on the backend of the year anyway.
I have an early may daughter and we waited. She's way more confident around younger peers.
My son is June 2020, he is going this year. Definitely hold her til she’s 5 turning 6. My oldest is a November baby and has kids who are 10 months older than him in his class, the difference in them during kindy was pretty stark.
I was one year younger than my class. Socially, those years between 10 and 14 hit the hardest.
If you aren’t sure, if the kid isn’t basically demanding to start school, waiting tends to give you a better outcome. I was in doubt with my youngest, but I couldn’t afford another year of childcare. Their first two years were hard.
Wait if you can…
It all comes down to their maturity.
My son's birthday is in May, and had gone to daycare from early on. It was clear that he was ready the first year.
My daughter was a difficult choice (late June birthday and had only gone to daycare for a few months, thanks to COVID), but we went with the option to send her the first year as well.
Both are doing OK, and I do think holding them back a year would have been a mistake. But there are times I do wonder whether it was the right choice.
Ultimately, the best person to decide is you. You know how mature your child is, and how they cope. The next best person to decide is their early childhood educator, who will have had lots of experience.
I was moderately unhappy to eventually deeply unhappy at school until I skipped year 9 and became the youngest in year 10 (13 years old). My only regret is not begging to skip sooner. Research can show you that statistically, the safer bet is starting school older, but it’s not for everyone and you cannot know what will be the happier future for your kid. The best year to start school is probably the one her grown-ups can be the most available for one-on-one attention and support. I recommend ignoring Reddit advice and really watching how your specific kid makes and maintains friendships, manages conflict, what attitude they take to problem-solving when the usual solution isn’t working, interacts with adults and makes decisions about whether/how to follow their instructions, and manages their big feelings. I think you will develop a gut feeling that one is the better option for her. If you really are completely 50/50 absolutely split, then pick the more cautious option.
I'm studying to become a teacher and we did a lot of how puberty impacts student outcomes. Girls who are among the first to go through puberty in their cohort can have a rough time socially. Girls who are later have an easier time as their peers are more used to it. It's not the only factor in this complicated decision but it's one that I think is unrepresented in the comments.
My personal opinion is If they are ready for school you might as well send them. You're giving them an extra year buffer when they leave school and are trying to figure out adult life.
I was one of the youngest and glad I started when I did. I not only had friends in my class year but made friends with people in the class year below me. I was also able to choose which year I played sport in. Looking back, if I had to wait an extra year to finish school, it would have driven me crazy.
I’m firmly on the side of having the kids be older than younger when starting.
Mostly due to social skills development.
Most teachers of my kids have lent towards seeing benefits to most kids by starting later. There’s also tonnes of research on this.
However, there is always the understandable issue around childcare costs and other family circumstances stances which need to be taken into account and are often more important.
Is a year of preschool available next year? Go visit the preschools in your area and find out when enrolment is. We found that year super helpful for both our kids development. Had to combine it with childcare, but it was incredibly good for them. The preschool in question of course plays a big part in that.
As it happens, all kids in NSW will have a year of preschool through education dept starting 2028 or 2029! Too late for you - but it’s coming.
She won't be one of the oldest. The oldest will have late December and January birthdays and be 6 months older than her.
For a socially mature child, the reality of a mid year birthday is that there will be no perfect time to start school. It will either be too early or too late. All the research says too late is better than too early.
I should add some thoughts from my own experience. I have a bright, social late May baby who is now halfway through primary school. We waited. He was annoyed because he wanted to go and learn with his daycare friends.
We made the right decision. He's fitted in wonderfully at school. He's popular - I never was and this is hilarious to me. He's not as led by the bigger crowd as he was when he was little at daycare. He's also sporty and that extra year has ensured he's qualified for all the PSSA sport teams. He would have been too little to make if he'd been a year younger.
I think my mental cut-off would now be the last week of February. If they're turning 5 within a couple of weeks of starting school, and they're sociality ready, yep OK. Otherwise no way would I send them.
I was an April baby that went at 4 turning 5. A fully intend to redshirt (hold back) my June baby girl. As others have said, it was fine until puberty.
Don’t do it unless she is high IQ and an independent person. I started early, but could read and write before I went (3rd child just very grown up). To hold me back would have killed me.
I sent my kid who turned 5 in January and ended up repeating her, she was soooo young compared to the kids turning 6 literally a few weeks after she turned 5.
Have a late June daughter. We held her back until she was 5.5 at start of school year.
Was much better for her social maturity as most girls in her class turned 5 towards start of the year so she was around the same age as them.
I’m also super pragmatic about the long term impact. University social development is generally done heaviest during O week and you don’t want your kid left out because they’re 17 and the social zones are all inside the 18+ areas (my university had gates and wrist bands to keep the under age students out of the areas where alcohol was sold; which was also the refectory where all the social clubs were located).
So having my kid definitively 18 prior to going to uni means she’ll have more options for social interaction in the event there are 18+ events being held on campus grounds.
Also FWIW, she was born June 2019 and started K in 2025.
If they start too early, they miss out on a lot of milestones with their friends, such as schoolies, getting their licences, and attending 18ths.
I thought the cut off for NSW July 31st? So if they turn 5 before that date, they start kindy that year.
The rule is they can't start until they are 4.5, but need to start before they turn 6.
That means August to January babies are locked into a year, while February to July babies can start aged 4 years, 7-12 months or 5 years, 7-12 months.
Ah ok got it. Thank you for that!!
This year school starts 02 Feb, so the youngest child starting kindy will be 4y6m old and was born on 31 July 2021. Also, just for completeness, you can also get away with holding them back if your child turns 6 the day after term 4 ends. The rule is that if they turn six before or during the school year then they legally must be enrolled for that school year. The oldest child starting kindy will be 6y1m old and was born on 20 Dec 2019.
Starts about 9am at most schools
Mine started early and has been fine. If they have been to pre-school or long daycare they'll usually be more than ready.
Problems may come later on, but honestly there is such a spread of ages and maturity, as well as composite classes (in primary school) that it may not be too challenging.
What may be the decider though is how many "early starts" there are at the eventual high school you send her to. At my daughter's (government) school there are loads of kids who started early, so it's not really an issue. But if you're planning to send her to a school where typically - and this seems to happen a lot with private schools - kids are held back as late as possible, then she may struggle more.
The age different will also be less apparent at a co-ed school because girls mature earlier than boys. It won't be until about 15/16 that the boys "catch up" with the girls.
Search previous posts on this on r/sciencebasedparenting Essentially the older and the more socially developed kid is, statistically they’ll do better in school. Not to say a younger kid won’t do great and it depends on individual cases, but on average that’s what research shows. That said, you could check in with their teachers and see what they recommend. Ours generally recommend to go to kindy as late as possible, especially if there are social development concerns, but no one would know if your kid is ready as their teachers up until now.
A slightly cynical additional thought point is that holding kids back till older can be a good thing because your kid is more developed.
This means they are likely to be better at sports or academics than their peers from the extra growth/maturity.
That then also means they stand out more in class and get more attention from the school; can join the 1st sports team/swimming/athletics team.
Supposedly that's often what happens with sports - the ones who do best are the ones who are old for their year.
Sometimes though, life takes control and you just have to send your kid early. Many Asian countries prefer to send kids early than later.
I was born late June, was held back, and then skipped. Can verify that I was very socially immature and found it difficult to make friends, particularly, as another commenter mentioned, in high school. The puberty thing, and also being able to drive. I couldn't when my friends were and I literally never learned. Also, I spent the whole first half of my first year of uni unable to drink in the pub, which was absolutely tragic (Don't worry, I caught up). Also consider countries like Finland where kids are engaged in play-based learning until the age of 8 or so before starting curriculum - hailed as one of the world's best school systems (for other reasons too ie the value placed on teaching as a profession and the support they receive, and the curriculum etc...)
My daughter was a late April baby. I sent her in the earlier year, but had regrets through primary. I think socially and physically she wasn't ready. Intellectually, yes, she was ready.
The short answer, in my opinion, is that it works fine either way. But if you choose to start late, be a little bit strategic about it.
We were in a similar situation two years ago. My daughter was born toward the end of July, and we decided to let her start a year later. She was emotionally mature compared to her peers, but she was also generally shy and needed time to adjust to new environments. We didn’t want to push her too much, so we chose to delay a year.
We don’t regret it at all. She fits in fine so far. She’s not overly mature compared to her classmates, and that “gap year” really helped her feel more prepared for Kindy (we tried to expose her to random sports, music instruments, and some very basic reading and math during the year).
If we had sent her a year earlier, I think she would have struggled a bit in the first one or two terms (and we would struggle as parents too), but the end result would likely have been similar. I also have a friend who decided to have their child restart Kindy, even though the kid always seemed calm and smart to me. So there's always a plan B for those who start early.
Keep her back. I was always the youngest and while I kept up academically, socially and emotionally I was always far behind - especially in highschool. I kept all 4 of my kids until the year they turned 6, even my daughter who's a January baby so she'll always be one of the oldest in her year. I have never regretted that decision.
Lot of good reasons to start later in here ready. And also being 17 in year 12 sucks, hated not being able to drive til later and not celebrate properly after finishing school with everyone else at 18+ locations.
June baby here. I was held back!
Apparently my social skills in pre-school went from "everyone is too loud" to "god damnit, will you please shut up".
Maintain, this was the late 90's, and even back then you could tell the difference between my classmates as to who was older/younger. Etc.
Like another commenter said. It also becomes noticable in high school, when everyone older was jaded and ready for the shitshow to be over, meanwhile the younger portion of the cohort thought school was still cool. 🙄
I am a late June baby and I hated being the youngest in the grade.
I’m a mid June baby and started school early, turning 18 the year after I finished high school and already in the work force was rough. Had to be excluded from work events involving alcohol, couldn’t go out with my friends on the weekend, it was very isolating.
I held my kid back. He’s a Feb birthday, so basically the oldest in the year group. Not sure if it was the right decision. He’s ADHD, and wasn’t really ready socially or physically at age 5, but he’s advanced academically, and we probably could have made it work if we tried.
The school said they’d push him so he didn’t get bored. It hasn’t worked. He is BORED. He has to sit still and listen to multiple explanations of the same thing that he’s usually grasped off the bat. He claims he hates school. Not sure how often he really means it, but he’s certainly not being stretched academically. Everything is easy. He doesn’t have to try, and it makes him both lazy and cocky.
The plus side is that his friendships are good. He can’t read social cues as well as most 10 year olds, and doesn’t know when to back off. In his own age group this would probably stand out more. With kids up to 1.5y younger he gets away with it. He has a good bunch of friends.
I was held back and the oldest girl. I would say it was better for my development though I started puberty in primary school so I would have had issues anyway.
Only issue was my school had a policy that children of a certain calender year had to compete regardless of year level and I was terrible at it and the only kid in my year competeing against the "bigger kids".
[removed]
My daughter is a July baby. We sent her to school when she was 4 and she was by far the youngest in her grade. She did fine academically, but socially, she was very shy.
We held her back a year by choice, and she’s flourished so much. We’re in no rush for her to grow up. She can enjoy school for another year. I can definitely say she nowhere year the oldest in her grade.
being young for the year isn’t bad until you reach year 12 and she’ll have to scramble for a fake ID🫠
June is too late. Wait. Teachers used to prefer early May as the latest birthday to start that year.
if you can afford to hold them back, hold them back
she'll be more mature, grasp concepts faster, adapt to the routine of school better, and be more social with her cohort.
but holding her back comes with affordability issues and she'll be completely bored for a year but the payoff is worhwhile.
Let them be kids.
As soon as you send them to school they lose so much innocence. Before school their world is all about play and friendships. School changes their world to be all about learning and structure. Let them enjoy this time as you will never get it back.
My daughter is starting school in 3 weeks and turns 6 in a week. She will be one of the oldest in her year, but I know she will thrive and will make the most of her time. Yes the last 6 months have been challenging as she is ready for school and very keen to learn, but my wife and I are adamant that it's the best for her.
I recognise that the situation is that some families cannot wait another year, but if you have the means, then hold them back.
I had two girls- the oldest was a late April birthday and sent her to school the year she was turning 5. Primary school was plain sailing but had some issues in high school, she lacked maturity.
My youngest daughter was a mid-June birthday and we started her after she turned 5. Started high school last year and so far seems better adjusted.
I was a June starter in Kindy and I was forever one of the youngest in my cohort. It always annoyed me.
I actually ended up repeating in high school in year 11 due to moving country, and I ended up being 18 for my entire final year.
Hold your daughter back another year. We held our son back so he turned 6 in Week 2 of Term 1.
I don't think many people send June born babies when they are 4 anymore. Most people will hold back anyone who turns 5 after the school year starts. A June birthday will definitely not be the oldest if held back
I might have a unique answer to this, as I originally started earlier and still go along ok with kids all the way through as a youngun. I quit after year 10 in QLD but decided to give come back into year 11 when I moved to NSW (but as one of the eldest) and at that point it was painful to hang out with 95% of the class who felt very immature comparatively! Academically I was top 10% of class in QLD and second in the grade in NSW until I quit to go work
In general I’m pro sending them if they are Jan-feb-march, maybe even April. But June is very late.
I think it’s worth noting that the private schools and Catholic schools have a much earlier cut off. She wouldn’t be considered at all at those schools. Public schools cant say no if you insist but with a june bday they’ll absolutely recommend waiting.
Keep for another year, as our school principal said, you don’t want them to cope, you want them to thrive.
Personal experience; I went at 4.5. Was youngest through my whole schooling life. Didn’t line up with my peers as they got older. Didn’t enjoy it personally.
As a teacher and parent, send your child to school being one of the older ones. She will thrive! She will continue to thrive right up to the end of her schooling years.
If you’re concerned about her social skills and development, preschool is the perfect place to increase those skills.
It’s so incredibly difficult to know what is good for your child, especially if they are your first.
As a teacher, please wait until the next year.
Gonna piggyback off this post with my own question.
Its still a while away but my daughters bday would be mid Jan. Would I still be able to put them into school when they've just turned 6 so they can be 18 when they graduate or am I required to pop her in the year prior?
Start her later. As somebody who was started early, it sucked in year 12 when all my friends were 18 and I wasn't. It also sucked in early high school being the youngest, smallest, etc. I hated school sport because of it.
As a parent who was in similar situation almost a decade ago ending up keeping her home another year, that one year now will make the kids life and yours so much better for the next 13 years schooling. Forget everything, simple fact that whatever academic workload, difficult social/perr interactions they face with a one extra year capacity and maturity.
Anyone with kids born mid year this is my advice any day.