I didn't hit rock bottom this year. I only had one incident which involved...well, poop going where poop shouldn't go. Thankfully, only my dog was a witness (and given his own poop habits, I think his trauma will be minimal). Beyond that, I made no overt social gaffs, didn't drive drunk or even drink much in public, didn't post that much stupid stuff on social media, just mostly stayed home, got a thorough buzz on most nights and played Rivals until Battlefield 6 came out. I am the picture of a very locked-down, regulated drunk.
Every year for about the past 8 or so has been like this. Go to work, get a bottle on the way home if I'm out, drink, play video games until I get sloppy, watch YouTube for the rest of the night.
I know come New Years I'll say 2026 will be different. I want to read more. I have hobbies I continue to buy stuff for (my shopping addiction is another story entirely) but never actually do anything with. I reflect that I didn't need AI to rot my brain - I'm part of the avant garde, and I was already there.
But I'm old. I've lived with depression all my life, and all I've done for the past few decades is barely hover over the abyss. I know alcohol doesn't help at all there, but I have zero, not a single delusion about my life suddenly getting better if I don't drink. My motivation went on vacation to Mars about 30 years ago and has never come back. I'm counting time until my health gives out completely. I look at my future and see nothing but successive loss.
But there's no alternative, is there? So I guess I'll try again. Here's to 2026.
Drank my 20s away
I legitimately couldn't tell you what happened in my 20's from year to year. Even with COVID I can remember major events and accomplishments each year in my 30's but 22-28 legitimately feels like a blur.
Same. Dunno how I survived it tbh. I had a lot of fun but no way was it worth it. Caused myself so much trouble while blacked out
You say you have no delusions about how your life would be better if you stopped drinking, but Jesus Christ man, that sounds like the biggest delusion ever. You’re like someone in a snowstorm saying it wouldn’t make any difference to go inside.
I hear you. But that house you’re talking about…man, I checked, and it doesn’t have so much as a fireplace.
My depression became way more manageable when I stopped making it worse with substances.
Every single day you wake up is a big ass fireplace
is being out of the snow and wind not also beneficial?
I felt the same way for years, even convinced myself that the buzz was the only way I could feel genuine joy or other forms of emotion anymore. I'm 54 days sober and can tell you every day is a surprise, most times in a good way. It feels like I'm meeting myself finally.
Of course there's work to do in the metaphorical house, and the work can be shitty, but it helps when I'm not too fucked up to pick up the tools or identify the cracks.
You describe how I was last year, and for a few years before. I finally realized that I was letting Alcohol dictate my life and had no control over my drinking, and no matter how hard I tried to stop alone, I simply couldn’t and got (and stayed) sober in late 2024 and have been sober all of 2025 so far.
Life is so much better, and I get to do the things I want. Drinking no longer gets in the way of them. I get to enjoy life, and instead of just sitting home, bitter, mad, and cynical. Full of self-pity and hate.
Congrats on staying sober. I’m stuck in the same situation. How did you manage those first few days. I feel like I’m losing something if I stop drinking.
I checked into a 10-day detox, then went into sober living.
Hey look we have the same quit day
I have struggled with depression and negative thoughts for as long as I can remember. I remember a really cool bunk bed my dad built me when I was under 10 and I remember fantasizing about hanging my self from it. I was diagnosed adhd in 1st grade and really relate to the Rejection Sensitivity aspect of that. My mind is constant talk and it’s loud and it loves to talk shit about me.
The first time I drank at 15, I got obliterated. I got obliterated just about every weekend until 18 when I moved out and proceeded to get obliterated every day. I drank my 20s and 30s away. All trying to cover up this pain that resides inside of me. It never helped. My first waking thoughts every day were negative despite drowning myself in booze the night prior and the first drink only masked the symptoms of the last. Alcohol is like throwing a drowning person a brick.
I realized a lot of these things only after quitting drinking. Quitting drinking didn’t directly fix anything other than eliminating the baggage that comes with alcohol. The constant anxiety and general soreness. Uncontrollable beer shits. Stuff like that. But indirectly, and this has taken effort on my part, quitting has opened the door to addressing these other issues and meeting them head on, face to face.
Some of it isn’t good news. I know that I will contemplate suicide likely everyday until I die. It’s rarely a day that’s gone by that I haven’t. I have reoccurring depression waves that I believe are just a part of my chemistry. I can feel it when it’s starting to come and I prepare.
I have found classic Stoicism to work best for me. Epictetus and Seneca. It’s what CBT is based on. Another thing, and I know this is cliche, but meditation is legit. It takes some practice to figure out what you’re doing but when done right it just calms my everything.
I am choosing to exist and experience this world and that means taking the whole package. None of us has the luxury to pick and choose every detail so I got the good and the bad. I can’t change the bad but I can make choices to avoid certain things that make my life worse. And I can choose to focus on things that make my life positive. I choose to savor the taste of my favorite foods. I choose to take in a view of some amazing clouds. The air in my lungs and feeling of coolness or warmth on my skin. There’s joy everywhere if we can figure out what to look for.
You’re not alone and I hope you find something to smile about on your journey. Iwndwyt
Damn. I am on day 1. I was really relating to what you wrote, but really discouraged by the last part. That all sounds terrible, to be honest. it sucks to know my head will never go away and life won’t feel better.
No body can control their thoughts. That’s a fact. There is no method or trick out there that will stop a thought from popping up in your head.
But we have absolute and total control over whether or not we agree with or accept these thoughts as fact and we have the choice in how we will act on these thoughts.
Learning that has made my life significantly better. I used to let these thoughts control my actions. I let them rule me and bring me down.
I reread my original comment and I’m not seeing where you got hung up. My first three paragraphs I described my past pain, my fourth paragraph I listed two things that really don’t have a “cure” (thoughts and chronic depression) and paragraphs four and five are positive, describing what’s working for me.
My life is better by pretty much every measure since quitting. I cant think of one area that has gotten worse since quitting. Are things perfect? No but I’m not expecting perfection. I mean, these thoughts and depression were with me while I was drinking. The booze didn’t make them go away and it just made me feel even worse.
Huge congrats on Day 1!!!! That’s huge!! I hope you’re not discouraged and that you continue working on making things better for yourself.
I recall saying toward the end of 2024 that 2025 was gonna be my year. There's a lot of things I had put off and I needed to get sorted out.
Here we are, almost the end of the year and I absolutely did none of the things I'd planned on.
In the couple weeks now that I haven't been drinking, I've already got more done than the first 11 months of this year.
Still more to do, but heading in to 2026 sober is my plan.
I'm in a very similar position. Let's keep it up as a favor to ourselves.
It’s the booze that’s stopping you from seeing how your life could be better without the booze.
Not just this year.
Holy shit bro…this is exactly me!!! Let’s do it together internet stranger. We know it’s harming us and it’s time to let the bottle go. We can do it
This is the most relatable thing I’ve read. I’m “functional”. I show up for work, and even though I’m a bartender I don’t have a drink until the end of the night. But the rest of the time I am at home on my couch steadily getting drunk alone while scrolling through my phone, some stupid show I’ve seen a billion times on in the background and ignoring the many unfinished paintings around me. My grief doesn’t even feel like it’s entirely for my own life. I managed to (mostly) do sober October, then fell right back into it.
Until recently, I did the same, well apart from a few days here and there when I tried not to, only to ‘make up for it’ when I went back to drinking.
I used to harbour similar thoughts about not believing my life would improve if I stopped so what was the point in stopping type thing. But that’s the booze making up assumptions in your head for you.
And you don’t actually know how you’ll really feel about your health suffering until you’re confronted with the evidence. I knew I’d been pushing my luck for years and didn’t really care but felt very differently when I recently received a not so great scan result.
It isn’t just the fear that’s made me think twice, it’s the sudden and very unexpected feeling that I really do care and I do want to have a much better life.
This year I drank so much, stopped only after I had been hospitalized with so much damage to my intestines the doctor said I had a 30% chance of leaving the hospital alive. I’ve been almost a month sober and slowly recovering so I couldn’t be happier
Fall of 2020- Fall of 2025.
That better be the dates of my alcoholism's headstone
I luckily got help in time to get almost half my year back from drinking. My life looked about the same as yours. Work, pick up a bottle after I get off, drink and play video games with a buddy until I’m sloppy, then watch stuff until I go to sleep.
I had many low points, none of which were the deciding factor to get help but all of which added up to me not being able to do it anymore.
I’ll be 5 months soon. I wish I could say my life is vastly different but then again maybe I take the changes for granted now. At the very least I can take life a bit more now than I could before. I do a little bit more and enjoy things I left behind for the drink a bit more now.
I’m still not sure what to make of sobriety. I see the good but I also see all the things that feel the same. In the end though the change was worth it. I think it’s easy to forget how desperate I was to stop right before I had made the decision to go to rehab.
I drank the first 9 months of this away. Every day. But in the last 3.5 I’ve been sober and my life has improved so much. Nothing is perfect but everything is better. Yours can be too. IWNDWYT.
Side comment but you are a great writer. Might I recommend writing/journaling as a hobby?
It sounds like you want to change at least aspects of your life. In theory we only get one, so if you want to try something different, the time is now.
For me personally, alcohol became the only thing I made time for. Once I eliminated it as an option, I got to choose new things to fill my time. It’s been very rewarding.
Lol thanks! I’ve actually got a very, very minor writing gig as a non-paying side thing. It’s quite literally the only positive I have - beyond my ever-awesome, ever-patient dog - to look at this year.
I stopped drinking at my rock bottom and my life improved significantly following the several months of physical/occupational therapy. While in a medically induced coma and on life support, My now husband was told in the hospital that ‘it’s up to her now, we’ve done everything we can’.
What do you think happened? I survived. I survived and went back to school for my masters. I survived and start volunteering again in the EMS world. I survived in spite of my addiction and excelled without it.
By reading this post, it’s obvious you have given up. If it were up to you, would you survive the hospital? Would you survive your mental health? You don’t know unless you try and try hard. I hate that you feel this hopeless but please know so many of us felt this way before we found sobriety.
IWNDWYT ♥️🦖🦕
I’m old too - 58 to be exact. Over the course of my drinking career I’ve been diagnosed with depression, generalized anxiety disorder and ADHD at different times.
I’ve tried all kinds of things from moving to switching jobs to trying almost every hobby under the sun to break me out of my haze and move my life forward. If you if you would’ve told me that stopping drinking would be the magic move that linked together all of my best intentions and failures and all my half asked attempts at self betterment, I would not have believed you.
I think it’s like this - when you’re at the bottom of a hole, furiously digging, and only seeing walls around you I t’s almost incomprehensible that if you just stop digging things might get better. But in my case they have gotten better immeasurably and I’m thankful every day for my wife and the good friends that said “hey, we love you – put down the shovel.”
I've actually wondered if I have ADD or something along those lines - I am most definitely not hyperactive, but somewhere along the way I completely lost my ability to focus. I takes me about 2 seconds for my mind to turn from one thing to another. I've been reading the same 300-page novel for about six months now.
Alcohol jacked with my Dopamine and general lymphatic system so much that I thought the same. Continued to think it for about 30 days dry. Started to feel more settled in the 2nd month and already after the 3rd month I wonder if I ever had any other issue than alcohol screwing with my brain chemistry. Started working out too, so that helps with focus and motivation. Anyway, it’s all been a game changer for me. Good luck with your journey.
Thanks bud. Means a lot coming from someone who’s been there.
I won't say my experience is universal, but my depression and anxiety essentially disappeared when I stopped drinking earlier this year. My motivation came back.
Earlier this year, there were some days I couldn't get out of bed. A year ago, I resigned from my job and enrolled in school, but I had two months of nothing but binge drinking. I think I went 5 days without showing. Only brushed my teeth if I left the house. My place was a disaster. I didn't want to end myself, but I didn't care if I died. My blood pressure was so high. Some days, I couldn't even keep down water and was throwing up every 10-15 minutes for entire days.
I still have a lot to work on, a lot of debt to pay off. But I changed everything in my life and finally have a future to look forward to. I had been living in my apartment for a year and a half, and finally hung my pictures this summer! I fixed both my vacuums, got my place clean, and keep on top of it. I called off for the first time from my job I've been at for 8 months last week, only because I actually had the flu (I was almost fired from my last job because I called off so often). I am actually my reliable self again.
I work out a little bit almost every day. I cook for myself again. I journal and read books. I'm so proud of myself. I honestly got to where I am because I got sober. I start school next month, and will still be working full-time. I know I'll be exhausted, but I'm so excited to do this!
Your story won't be identical, but it can start out the same way.
I made getting big muscles my hobby. Now it’s more of a battle between what I love more: Booze or Muscles? Turns out I really enjoy having muscles.
Maybe try a thc vape if it’s legal in your area, you can basically do what you’re doing now without a hangover which should be a life improvement.
I drank most of my year away. Lost my job, increased my drinking, and then had a seizure. Realized I needed to stop and went for 45 days sober in October before relapsing after Thanksgiving. Trust me it's so much better sober. Like you, I play video games but was so inebriated that I couldn't remember what I had done in the game and could play the game. Alcohol stole so much time, motivation, and joy from hobbies in my life. No need to wait to 2026. If you're ready, just try now and go one day at a time. This community is a big support for me.
I bet if you quit drinking your life WILL get better. Waking up without post drunk brain fog is freakin' awesome. Hoping you give us an update at 30/60/90/365 days without alcohol. Good luck and keep on keepin' on.
you’re posting here though? so something inside you wants to stop drinking. also, you say you drink every night - idk what you do for work but i can smell the booze on my coworkers and get pissed when they’re so stinky. maybe your life won’t get better, but without even trying… how could you know? doesn’t seem like you have a lot to lose anyway. you say you have a lifetime of depression and drink a depressant every night….. you see no correlation here?
until you get around to trying it and reporting back, you’re not your own reliable source for this one
This year, I think I had more sober nights than I have in a long time, but my binge drinking for multiple days at a time took a turn for the worst. I was getting so I didn’t even drink for fun. I would drink one night and spend the next two or three days drinking to go to sleep in bed.
I’m hoping it’s the year that I wake up though as I had my first daughter and I don’t want her to ever see me like that. I want to be a great role model for her. And I want to stop drinking because it is no longer fun.
I’m almost nearing 40s now and hangovers are too much to bear. I used to could go to work and function but now I just call out. Then when I call out, I just drink all day and not do Jack shit.
I think I blew a fuse. I’ve drank only one time in the past month and the hangover was so bad I just have no desire to drink anymore. I know I have to be careful because sobriety is a marathon, but I didn’t think it would be this easy to stop drinking. It never has before and I hope I’m done with it.
Me. Got really sick (not alcohol related) just over 3 weeks ago and haven’t had a drink since then, just oddly didn’t have the desire to, so I figured I’d just roll with it. Gotta say I’m already feeling a little better in body and brain. So hopefully I won’t crawl back into a bottle in ‘26.
The last 5 years ...why stop at 1. 😂
So far I’ve done better this year than last year, at least the last 6 months. I’ve had more days where I didn’t drink than I did at least, but when I did drink it’s been BAD. Currently dealing with pneumonia (I’m sure drinking probably messed with my immune system ) and a few days sober. Partner brought home drinks and drank them in front of me which sucks but I’m having a seltzer water since breathing currently hurts and I want to be sober from now on
If nothing changes, nothing changes.
You can choose to wallow in your alcoholism or you can choose to improve your life. But make no mistake, it is your choice.
Just the first half of it. And the twenty four and a half years before that. It took a lot before I was ready to quit. I really wish I had gotten there sooner than I did.
Had some sober months this year but it’s hard for me to last longer than a few months.
Welcome back
IWNDWYT
I didn't drink it away, but I drank too much too often. I had several long spurts of sobriety but pissed them away from any excuse you can think of.
That's the insanity of alcoholism. It's like staying in jail and looking at gray block walls until the end of time because it's comfortable and I'd rather not risk being outside and finding out that there's a much better way of life if I'm willing to do my part. It's there for All of Us, you just have to want it.
Second half.
First half I was sober until late May. Had 'one' on holiday and have consumed alcohol about 4/5 days out of 7 a week since.
Next year is the year
Company closed on Jan 2. I have been in bed drinking since. About to run out of savings and I'm scared to death.
Sounds like my days and nights as well. Go to work, stop to pick up drinks on the way home, ignore making supper, grab a drink and start gaming, followed by YouTubing the rest of the night away when I'm too uncoordinated to continue gaming. Stay up way too late and be exhausted the next morning...only to repeat the whole process, start to finish.
I know I should stop and get back into may many other interests. I know I would feel better about myself and feel better when I wake up. I know I should put some TLC into my home, which shows the signs of doing the bare minimum.
I know all this and I hope for the strength someday soon, to say enough is enough. Put away the bottle, put away the vape, put the games on hold (they'll be there for later) and bring back my relationships that have suffered as I sit and while away my life.
Good luck OP, I hope 2026 is kinder to us both.
edit: typo