Hello, fellow Sobernauts!
Welcome to 'Tude Talk Tuesday, where you're invited to share what changes you've noticed in your attitudes and perspectives since you've gotten sober.
I once heard someone say "People weren't important. My focus was on my drugs and alcohol" and that resonated with me.
When I was drinking, my family was just a series of hurdles I had to overcome each evening before I could slink off and get blackout drunk. I didn't enjoy spending time with them, I was watching the clock, not being present with them.
As soon as I got sober, I noticed how much more patience I had with everyone, simply because I wasn't trying to usher them off to bed and out of my life. I was able to actually just be with them.
It's not always puppies and rainbows. Raising kids is very trying at times, but at least I'm not trying to push them away and into bed so I can get drunk.
So how about you? How are you with people in sobriety?
I notice I'm a better listener and are more attentive to what they are saying than being in my own head or interrupting them because I think I have something clever to say.
I love the Euphoria special episode with Ali and Rue in the diner. It’s so beautiful. My favorite line is
You hear me? You’re sick. Your whole system’s on the verge of collapse and the addict in you is trying to sell you on the same shit that got you sick in the first place. If you keep going the way you’re going, you’ll rot from the inside until you cave in a die. Your only hope is a revolution.
I'm the opposite. I easily get tired by too much interaction with people, so drinking helped me deal with those around me.
Now I have to practice what I'm going to do when my mind is screaming LEAVE ME ALONE! Mostly, I try to politely extricate myself under the guise of being tired and I go read a book. But, I don't have children, so that's very different.
I realized that I don't like gossip anymore now that I'm sober. It used to be that I'd have a few drinks and want to talk about whatever latest mini-scandal was going on in my wider circle of friends. Today? I feel allergic to gossip. I don't want to talk about anyone behind their back. I just want to connect with friends and not use other people's drama as a vehicle for that connection.
I can actually enjoy a lunch out and make easy fun conversation without a beer in my hand