might as well ask this since im paranoid about the laptop under my bed causing no skeep: is there a safe way to transport a bloated laptop with a spicy pillow to my workplace so I can hand it over?
Contrary to popular belief, bloated batteries don't actually just catch fire. Unless you stab a fully charged one, the odds of something happening at practically zero.
Source: I've handled hundreds of bloated batteries
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Run the laptop until the battery is discharged. This will almost entirely remove the possibility of thermal runaway.
Really though, you don't need to be paranoid. The chance of an actual fire is fairly low.
Contrary to popular belief, bloated batteries don't actually just catch fire. Unless you stab a fully charged one, the odds of something happening at practically zero.
Source: I've handled hundreds of bloated batteries
Move it outside into a bucket and then take it asap
and if you don't care about that laptop fill the bucket with sand.
Don't overthink it