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It is standard in the U.S. to require proof of income & a credit score check. Your exact situation is why you sometimes see those rundown motels offering rooms priced by the month- they’re designed to be used by people who can’t qualify to actually rent anywhere, for whatever reason.

& if you DO you manage to find an independent individual willing to rent to you without you having those things- be suspicious.

You don’t mention your immigration status- if you could qualify for any government programs, seek those out asap. Contact any domestic violence organizations in your area to ask about potential resources, as well as any nonprofits in your area that provide services for women & children- they may not be able to help, but often at least have some ideas about who might be able to.

Wishing you luck.

Hit up the shelter; it's not going to get easier for a while. Stay strong.

Go to the shelter because they usually have housing coordinators there that work specifically to get you into a place and they can pull a lot of strings I’ve been in your situation before

Get domestic violence support. They are there to help you with this sort of thing. In our area, besides providing shelter, they can also help you find more permanent housing, a job, and other resources.

It will be incredibly hard to find a landlord that will accept you as a tenant without any income. If you have substantial savings, you may have more luck with a private landlord than a larger company, however, they're going to need to see that you can continue to pay over time.

I just want to offer you some hope from someone who has been there. I was able to rent without showing proof of income.. I had decent credit, savings, and a landlord who was willing to see me as a whole person instead of just numbers on a page

Leaving an abusive relationship while pregnant was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and yes, the system makes it feel impossible at times. But it is possible. Sometimes it takes talking directly to smaller landlords, explaining your situation honestly, or offering a few months upfront if you can 🙌🏻

I know it can feel like everything is stacked against you right now, but please don’t lose faith in yourself. The strength it takes to leave already tells me you’re capable of building what comes next.

Sending you love and resilience 🌸💓

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Some rules (but not all - read the sidebar): - Do not ask for legal advice. We are not qualified to give such advice and suggest speaking to legal professionals about this. Posts and comments of this sort will be removed. - Do not post promotional content (this includes blogs, surveys, etc.) - Do not ask for financial assistance (this includes wishlists, gofundme, etc.) - Remember the human. Be respectful to other subreddit members. We are all in this together. This is a support group. - If you are not a current single mother, your posts will not be approved. Please post on the weekly pinned megathread. - Are you looking to leave? Post on our weekly megathread!

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I hate to say it, but this is just not how things work. A landlord won't rent to you without income, and frankly I can't blame them. How much in savings do you have? Even with over 100K in cash, at least where I live, they still wouldn't take you without income... and that's with perfect credit and no debt.

Meanwhile, they are more likely to take someone without any savings, but with a job contract (they look for 3x the rent, right or wrong) and no debt or 'no' (better than bad) credit.

I absolutely do NOT recommend taking a loan out for multiple reasons. First, are you considering taking a loan out to show 'savings'? If so, the landlord will just see that you have that same amount of debt when they run your credit. Also, do you have credit? Even with an 'excellent' credit score, that takes years to build up, a loan will COST you a large, large amount. Look into compound interest. It's also a huge gamble, no matter what.

A 0% intro APR credit card for something like 21 months is something I've done myself. It will still require solid credit and it's also a very risky game you save for emergencies and spend knowing what you'd make later on based on salary history. You'd have to have nerves of steel and carry guilt when refusing to use it and saving it for emergencies or bare bones minimals. You'd have to plan to pay it back, in full, by the end of the promo period, or you will essentially be trapped in debt forever. Do not play with credit. You do not want debt.

Do you have career/job experience? Do you know what you'd expect to make? Or will this all be new? Do you have any 'network' (people who can help vouch for you to secure that job) you can lean on?

Safety planning wise, is it at all possible to secure the job before jumping? Do you have friends/family anywhere you can stay with temporarily while looking for job? You can ask a job for a delayed start date, typically. The job market is also frankly atrocious right now, and I would be extra cautious.

A DV shelter will help not just with housing; they can help assist residents in a more efficient manner to attend support groups, therapy, help cover or even cook meals, job counseling, legal advice, etc. You can access a lot or all of those outside of the shelter environment, too, but it tends to be easier from within.

How much do you have saved up? How many kids do you have? A better bet, at least to start, is to look for someone who's willing to rent you a room or two.

Will you need childcare, or are the kids in school? Have you called 211 or local DV hotlines to hook you up with local resources? Certain places will help cover a one time cost of a security/first/last month of rent that landlords will require to move in; certain places cover childcare if your income is low enough; certain places will have a welfare to work style program where they help cover rent while also helping you cover a job. The goal of all these is to get you on your feet and independent. Different places are different; I recommend calling locally and stating that you're hoping to find resources to help cover rent, help find a job, etc.

Have you considered moving elsewhere? Sometimes that can help keep you safer from your partner. You could also choose to move somewhere with more support, better job options, better childcare options. If you don't have your own transportation, do you know how to drive? A car is massive expensive, and a variable one that's risky and expensive. You could also consider a city with decent transit to get around that barrier, though obviously that's again a huge decision.

My best advice is to figure out how to minimize all your expenses. Whether you move into your own place and get roommates, or ask to share a room as a roommate; if you can get clothing and toys secondhand for free or cheap; if you can make food from scratch or grow at least some of your own; if you can cut anything unnecessary from your budget -- that can all go a long, long way. Combine that with working on getting a job, or longer term, a higher paying one.

Be judicious when disclosing you are a single mom, and especially judicious when disclosing your partner was abusive--especially when that person knows you have kids or is a mandatory reporter, and especially depending on your local culture and area.

All these questions... you don't have to answer them here, to me. They are things to think about. They're all super hard choices and unfortunately none of them are going to be great or easy. Getting out of abuse is hard, especially when you have kids or other barriers. It might be or feel worse or harder for a while -- and that doesn't mean you made the wrong choice. Be proud of yourself for getting yourself and your kids safer and more stable.

i I haven’t gone through it myself, but was a close observer as my best friend went through this

i recommend what another commenter mentioned and finding a motel that is willing to do monthly payments until you have enough saved up for an apartment, as well as so you can build somewhat of a credit and have proof of income. depending on the motel some go for as low as $200-300 a month and some a little higher but those are the nicer motels, not all do monthly payments where your able to do this but there are some who do its not unheard of or impossible at all. they will usually require the first month or 2 upfront but that’s probably going to be your best bet until you can build credit and have proof of income, but it is much better then a shelter and you can make it very homey and cute and fun.

Call the hotline or go to a DV advocate at the social services office who can provide a plethora of information to get you through this. There are organizations willing to help, please do not stay because of financial concerns!

i was in this exact position earlier this year. i ended up leaving under duress in a really chaotic situation. honestly, i ended up relying on friends. the experience has been so horrible and i am frankly traumatized by the stress, but when i reflect, i don't know how else i could have made it out of that abusive situation. i fled, with no plan. it really feels like i had to be in an extremely vulnerable state before i was able to receive this divine intervention. here's my advice:

if you're able to start working now, get a job first.

do you belong to a church? is there a community college nearby? connecting with your community is crucial. if it's safe to do so, share your story with other women. be honest about needing help. don't be pushy or too emotional, just state the facts and that you need help. look into the DHS for your state. even getting food stamps right now would help immensely. also, if you're on social media, look for organizations near you that can help you arrange a mutual aid fund.

start mentally and logistically preparing for family court. i think that's all i am allowed to say as far as the legal aspect. do some research on what women experience when they're leaving their abusive spouses. r/custody is helpful.

my current living situation is a coworker's husband's grandfather's house. he's in assisted living, so his house had been sitting empty for quite some time. i pay a fraction of what rent would normally be for a place this size. i've deep cleaned, made repairs, and small upgrades as per my skillset would allow. think about what you have to offer if someone was in a position to do you an enormous favor. i'm so incredibly lucky that this was available to me - i just wanted to share this to let you know that this is in the realm of possibilities.

and another thing - be prepared to go into debt. work on your credit score now. open some credit cards and then DO NOT USE THEM! save them for when you've left, because that's when you will need them the most.

Need a job first to move

I went to a lot of different churches and looked up community outreach programs, they were able to help me get baby supplies and connect me to other agencies. I’m still in the thick of it with a situation similar to yours but these resources are helping a lot

Im going to be honest. I left with a part time job and went into the shelter with 2 kids. Took me 3 years to get an apartment but I was able to save, being that I wasn’t paying any bills except my phone bill, and life insurances. I also applied for Food-stamp and cash assistance. We already had medicaid.

I also qualified for a housing voucher, which pays most of my rent for my 2 bedroom apt and I pay the rest and Electricity. Im still working and now in school online and have a 3rd child. Now Iam transferring to a 3 bedroom with the same housing voucher.

It’s not a walk in the park and I had to put my pride aside and do the footwork … i didn’t have any family to stay with, even if I did I rather not because I want my own space with my kids. I also could no longer live with their dad after 8 years of chaos, cheating and DV anymore.

Some shelters are a mess and just out of luck ,I was placed into a good one, in which I had a 2 bedroom apt with my own key. We also had curfew, bed checks , wellness checks, and inspections. The caseworkers housing specialist, social workers, therapist, and afterschool activity specialist were great.

YOU GOT THIS!!!!