Recently I hooked up with a guy and I left feeling super shitty and disrespected. Please tell me what you think of my experience: we had sex twice and before anything began I told him I needed to use a condom and he got one and put it on. We ended up having another go at it about 10 minutes after the first round and we started making out and he got on top of me and started penetrating, then I realized he didn’t have a condom on. I feel stupid for not remembering to make sure he put it on again, and honestly I was drunk. But I said “wait you’re not wearing a condom!” To which he replied, “let me get hard first” and he continued to penetrate. I quietly said okay but really it wasn’t okay and I started freaking out that I put myself in that situation. After a minute or so I said again, “no wait you need to wear a condom.” And this time he stopped and put it on but complained about how he hates them and he’s not used to them blah blah. I’ve been feeling so shitty about this experience but maybe I’m overreacting. My friend said that this is stealthing but I’ve been stealthed before and I thought it was when the condom is removed DURING sex without consent.
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‘He complained about how he hates them and he’s not used to them’ means he doesn’t wear them with others and that you need to be tested for STD’s. Also yes this is assault because you said no to sex without a condom but he ignored that and went with it without wearing one. He disrespected your body and your boundaries.
I was tested and luckily everything has come back negative. The excuse he gave me was that he had a gf of 7 years and hasn’t been with anyone since, and they never used them.
Some STI's don't show up on tests for 6 months, so it'd be good to get another test later too
Got it scheduled already ! Thanks 🙏
Nah you’re not wrong about it If you want him to isebone he should m, I don’t like them either, but if a girl told me that I had to wear one, to get to fuck her I’d definitely would wear one
Okay so he didn’t put it in without tho right? He listened to you and put it on?
Men kinda suck but you didn’t really know each other and just hooked up right? Maybe I suck for thinking like this but I guess if he listened to it both times it went okay? Like he didn’t want to wear it and prolly thought condom when putting it in so he wanted to feel a lil without to get hard cause apparently condoms numb the feeling and then he respected your words again and put it on again before he put it in? I think that’s okay?have barely met men like this and I guess if he just thought you’re concerned about condom when putting it in because of pregnancy not overall because of disease then it could have been a lack of communication?
I kinda learned that men are just kind of stupid? (No offense) but they just don’t understand they think with their dicks at times, I was basically raped I guess? I guess that’s what you would call it by someone I knew and was good with and he is a good person but he just didn’t get that my continuous no’s and trying with all my strength to get him away from me were serious no’s he was horny and I guess thought I was going to come or horny and took it as like “ ah no daddy stop😏’s “ when I was being dead serious, I was 14 at the time… you really have to make it crystal clear to them else they won’t understand I feel like
I’m really sorry that happened to you. What happened to you is rape and it’s not OK. Consent must be freely given without pressure, coercion, or the influence of drugs or alcohol, and can be withdrawn at any moment. You saying no and trying to get away is you clearly withdrawing consent. I don’t think men being horny and thinking whether their penis is an excuse at all. I’m so sorry. Men need to listen when you say no or when you set a boundary. Period. There is really no excuse for that kind of behavior.
You’re right The sad part is it happened so often I started normalizing it, you start downplaying it and thinking it’s not a big deal when it is until someone comes around and points it out to you
No, as a man, that's just rape, as an autist I can say that if you're speaking in a more playful manner that can be misinterpreted, but I've personally fixed that issue on my part by slowing and checking whether they're having any fun or actually wanting to stop, this is not with sex tho, this is with tickles
No he put it in raw the second time and I when noticed and said something he just continued and said “let me get hard first.”
Oh yeah forget what I said then