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Post title:
WTF? Can anyone help?
(19M) So I have a litany of issues surrounding sex that have contributed to me being entirely unable to orgasm during sex with my girlfriend, ranging from potential nerve damage antidepressant use, but there’s one that I absolutely cannot figure out. I cannot wear a condom. I’m fairly certain I’m allergic to latex so I normally use SKYN brand condoms. However, every time I use one, no matter if I lube up the inside, I get this stinging sensation on the top side of my glans that doesn’t go away even if I take the condom off. Also, the more I go, it feels like I’m going to pee rather than cum which is an extremely uncomfortable sensation. WTF do I do?? I haven’t seen anyone online that has the same problems as me.
Hey buddy. I know this shit is stressing you and I’m very sorry. Your best bet here is to go to your family doctor and work through it with them. A lot of stuff you’re saying all requires diagnostics and no one on Reddit is able to do this. The docs have seen and heard it all so don’t be shy. your concerns are valid and your next step is a doctors appointment.
I think there is a missed word in your second sentence. You meant to say family doctor, not family right? He probably doesn't want to talk to his family about this stuff.
For sure try switching up your lubes and also condom brands (they all use different materials-- not just the material of the condom itself, but whatever they are using as lube, etc.)
But, for a lot of folks, masturbating with a condom can be a great move to get used to it-- the "stinging" might be largely psychosomatic and just down to the newness of using one at all.
Do you have any suggestions? I’m considering the possibility that I may be sensitive/allergic to silicone lube. I do have very sensitive skin. Also, I only masturbate with a fleshlight and try to practice using a condom but the pain is too distracting. I’m a little cautious to say it’s the newness because I’ve tried about 15 times now and get the same result each time.
If using a non-latex condom, you can try something like coconut oil, which is pretty ubiquitously hypoallergenic. If latex, water-based will be your go-to, and generally anything without scent or flavor. will be less potentially reactive.
Just as a hack, if you're feeling experimental, you may want to actually try a warming or cooling lube-- on the same theory as the dentist using a syringe that vibrates to distract you from the sensation of an injection, having another sensation in the mix might cause you to not notice the stinging.
Also, "the pain is too distracting" is exactly WHY masturbating with a condom is a good step for folks who have issues with condoms-- If your dick isn't swelling up, developing hives, or anything else that's seeming to cause long-term damage, the "stinging" sensation might be something that resolves over time with just repeated exposure.
There are lots of sensations like that-- like a new work uniform that's unbearably itchy the first few times you wear it such that you don't even know how you'll get through your shift, but months later wear without incident-- that can be more about the newness of it compounded by mental hyperfocus on it.
And, if you are certain that the pain is true pain, not just irritation, or if you are worried you are causing damage, then 100% seeing a doctor is the thing to do.
But you should get an allergy test done. They do make condoms for people who are allergic to latex and other substances, but to be honest, you have to have a pretty small dick because they do not stretch. If you can get off using a flashlight, then there should be no other reason you can’t with a girl.
The first thing that comes to mind is that the condom includes a slight amount of spermicide in it and you are allergic to that. A lot of manufacturers put some inside. I have no idea if SKYN does though but that is where I would look.
I know I have read about others having the same issue as you with condom being on the glans, but I just can't remember why or what the figured out they could do about it, but I know it has been talked about on this sub before.
Skyn Condoms contain fragrance so you may be having a reaction to that!!! I am very sensitive to fragrance and a surprising amount of condoms contain them frustratingly. Skyn and all Lifestyle condoms contain fragrance, so do most durex condoms including their Nonlatex option.
Trojan does not use fragrance (I emailed them to confirm) and they now produce Non-latex polyisoprene condoms (like Skyn) called the G.O.A.T. condoms so that may be a good one to try.
Hey man,
Like others said, go see a doctor, switch condom brand, try water based lube and all of that. The tingling sensation you're describing sounds like a medical issue.
In case there's also a mental one, maybe you could try hand stuff together. As someone who also couldn't come initially due to emotional issues, that's what got me over the hump. Bonus points: it avoids the condoms and lube issues you may be experiencing.
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked here.
Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Weekly Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats.
To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it.
Any attempt to seek private chat or otherwise deviate a conversation away from the main forum, WILL result in a permanent ban. This goes both for OP and for all comments. Guide for blocking DMs can be found here.
Hi there, /u/obama_balls
To keep nefarious behaviour at bay, we are saving the contents of the post here so that it can always be retrieved by the moderator team after a post has been edited or deleted by the posting user.
Post title:
WTF? Can anyone help?
(19M) So I have a litany of issues surrounding sex that have contributed to me being entirely unable to orgasm during sex with my girlfriend, ranging from potential nerve damage antidepressant use, but there’s one that I absolutely cannot figure out. I cannot wear a condom. I’m fairly certain I’m allergic to latex so I normally use SKYN brand condoms. However, every time I use one, no matter if I lube up the inside, I get this stinging sensation on the top side of my glans that doesn’t go away even if I take the condom off. Also, the more I go, it feels like I’m going to pee rather than cum which is an extremely uncomfortable sensation. WTF do I do?? I haven’t seen anyone online that has the same problems as me.
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Hey buddy. I know this shit is stressing you and I’m very sorry. Your best bet here is to go to your family doctor and work through it with them. A lot of stuff you’re saying all requires diagnostics and no one on Reddit is able to do this. The docs have seen and heard it all so don’t be shy. your concerns are valid and your next step is a doctors appointment.
I think this is what I needed to hear.
" Your best bet here is to go to your family and work through it with them."
I am hoping you missed a word in there, but the visual is amusing!
You should be able to your family for medical issues but yes I meant family doc.
I think there is a missed word in your second sentence. You meant to say family doctor, not family right? He probably doesn't want to talk to his family about this stuff.
For sure try switching up your lubes and also condom brands (they all use different materials-- not just the material of the condom itself, but whatever they are using as lube, etc.)
But, for a lot of folks, masturbating with a condom can be a great move to get used to it-- the "stinging" might be largely psychosomatic and just down to the newness of using one at all.
Do you have any suggestions? I’m considering the possibility that I may be sensitive/allergic to silicone lube. I do have very sensitive skin. Also, I only masturbate with a fleshlight and try to practice using a condom but the pain is too distracting. I’m a little cautious to say it’s the newness because I’ve tried about 15 times now and get the same result each time.
If using a non-latex condom, you can try something like coconut oil, which is pretty ubiquitously hypoallergenic. If latex, water-based will be your go-to, and generally anything without scent or flavor. will be less potentially reactive.
Just as a hack, if you're feeling experimental, you may want to actually try a warming or cooling lube-- on the same theory as the dentist using a syringe that vibrates to distract you from the sensation of an injection, having another sensation in the mix might cause you to not notice the stinging.
Also, "the pain is too distracting" is exactly WHY masturbating with a condom is a good step for folks who have issues with condoms-- If your dick isn't swelling up, developing hives, or anything else that's seeming to cause long-term damage, the "stinging" sensation might be something that resolves over time with just repeated exposure.
There are lots of sensations like that-- like a new work uniform that's unbearably itchy the first few times you wear it such that you don't even know how you'll get through your shift, but months later wear without incident-- that can be more about the newness of it compounded by mental hyperfocus on it.
And, if you are certain that the pain is true pain, not just irritation, or if you are worried you are causing damage, then 100% seeing a doctor is the thing to do.
Yeah, this one sounds like a check in with your doc not Reddit.
Yup, honestly I really needed someone else to tell me to see a doctor. Scheduled a urology appt earlier today
Your best bet is a visit to your general practitioner, to begin with. 🖤
Try water based lube.
But you should get an allergy test done. They do make condoms for people who are allergic to latex and other substances, but to be honest, you have to have a pretty small dick because they do not stretch. If you can get off using a flashlight, then there should be no other reason you can’t with a girl.
The first thing that comes to mind is that the condom includes a slight amount of spermicide in it and you are allergic to that. A lot of manufacturers put some inside. I have no idea if SKYN does though but that is where I would look.
Skyn doesn't have spermicide but they do have fragrance in them.
I know I have read about others having the same issue as you with condom being on the glans, but I just can't remember why or what the figured out they could do about it, but I know it has been talked about on this sub before.
And, another option-- you can try a "female condom," which is a condom she inserts vs a condom you put on, and see if that might resolve the issue.
Skyn Condoms contain fragrance so you may be having a reaction to that!!! I am very sensitive to fragrance and a surprising amount of condoms contain them frustratingly. Skyn and all Lifestyle condoms contain fragrance, so do most durex condoms including their Nonlatex option.
Trojan does not use fragrance (I emailed them to confirm) and they now produce Non-latex polyisoprene condoms (like Skyn) called the G.O.A.T. condoms so that may be a good one to try.
Hey man, Like others said, go see a doctor, switch condom brand, try water based lube and all of that. The tingling sensation you're describing sounds like a medical issue.
In case there's also a mental one, maybe you could try hand stuff together. As someone who also couldn't come initially due to emotional issues, that's what got me over the hump. Bonus points: it avoids the condoms and lube issues you may be experiencing.