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Post title:

ive never gotten wet, no matter how aroused i am. losing confidence in myself and causing my low self esteem.

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im late 20s no medical issues, fit, not on any medication and not on BC (never been on it). im always soo dry as a sand paper. i don't remember ever getting wet, the only time "im wet" is the discharge i get when im ovulating day and i don't feel like it counts. it doesn't matter if its masturbation or sex. sometimes im SO SO aroused but still not even humid down there. im very attracted to the person im currently seeing he takes good care of me during sex but even then still nothing. im allergic to EVERY lube out there and water is worse than doing it raw, tried different types of oil including coconut oil and got an infection, tried without anything/with condum it would hurt really bad after some time because of the friction, i have pretended that it doesn't hurt before but it's obvious because it of the redness. he would earlt me and spit but still not much difference. i cant see a doctor unfortunately, barely can offored food and gas and no insurance. im noticing myself trying to avoid intimacy and that causing me to be soo frustrated. i notice the guy also like get frustrated (understandably because i need a break after just 2 min, if i can even bare the pain to get to 2 min) during sex when i ask for break because of how sore i would get. i kind of wrote a message and prepared myself to end things with him because yes i like him and want to be with him, but because i also care about him this taking a mental toll on me. im thinking after each time we get intimate about each second of it and analyze his reactions and facial expressions and overthink it, i would just rath not have sex. im crying now because i feel lost and i just want a solution for this. i feel cursed.

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unfortunately this is a doctor issue, do you have any sexual health clinics near you you can consult?

Hi, it might be worth looking into "arousal non-concordance". Basically, it's very common to experience a mismatch between your arousal and what your body does. Nothing is wrong with you.

I think trying different lubes might be your best bet at the moment, ideally ones without glycerine as they can lead to infections as you've described.

It happens to me when we try to rush through foreplay. Or in 1.5-1 week before period. Does it always happen to you?

Try another doctor. Get a hormone panel done.

Do you have skin issues? Get an allergy test too

Given you have NEVER felt wet there should be an investigation done medically and then there are options out there to help, from HRT to suppositories. All depends what the cause is.

Hey girly, I'm so sorry your going through this issue and I just wanna say, this does NOT reflect your self worth or the truth of who you are in bed with yourself or with a partner. Just letting you know in this moment it's okay to be disappointed and upset but this is also something that is out of your conscious control. It can be hormonally related and most likely is, so what I want you to do is call up your gynecologist and set up an appointment and tell them all of this in detail. They need to run blood tests to do a hormonal panel and they'll have solutions available. If they seem to not be very concerned or they don't try to give you any answers then you'll need to find a different doctor who genuinely cares. You don't deserve to feel this way about your body and I assure you with the right medical help you will be blessed to alleviate this and find your way to getting soaking wet, lol. You got dis sista were cheering you on 

I've had some luck with the supplements -- esp the higher-end ones like Lubracil.

Also, hyaluronic acid topically is great for helping the tissues retail moisture-- I mix a bulk supplement powder HLA with water - it turns into a serum kind of consistency-- and use that topically. If I'm feeling dry and seeing a partner, I use a "lube shooter" and inject some into the vaginal canal-- it has the identical texture of natural "wet," and no taste or smell. It both makes it so there's moisture in there that feels natural, but also longer-term helps keep the tissues moisturized.

And, as others have mentioned, topical estradiol cream is super well tolerated and with none of the possible risks of systemic estrogen-- it is prescription, but, if you push for it, there's low-to-no reason for a doctor to not let you give it a go. It can take several months of regular use to pay off, but it can be a nice boost.

Do you sweat a lot? A lot of your lube is from vaginal “sweating”, in addition to secretions from your skenes glands, so if you don’t sweat a lot, it could be that. Also, hydration helps a ton. You could also check out vaginal estrogen suppositories. The estrogen doesn’t become systemic that way and is localized to your vag. 

I wonder if topical estrogen cream would help (it's technically more of a suppository that goes inside your vagina). It gets regularly prescribed for vaginal atrophy/dryness in both menopausal cis women and in trans people taking testosterone. It only has local effects and is very safe. I think seeing a gynecologist specifically rather than just a general practitioner would be your best move.

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Have you tried boric acid? Whenever I'm suspicious dry I stick one in and it's been a miracle drug... literally everyone should be using them

have you tried aloe vera? you can get gel or straight up the plant

Have you always had this problem?

As someone who is now 30 and struggled with this similar issue, I’m here to say you may suffer from vaginal dryness. It’s unfortunate but it does happen. I have struggled with it ever since I started having sex. I used water based lube. You can try that or silicone based lube. There isn’t much that can be done for vaginal dryness other than using lube, in my experience. I’m currently experiencing not needing lube for the first time in my life as I’m now pregnant and it just makes you discharge constantly. Not exactly being “wet” but it’s the closest I have had. Just know you’re not alone!

I have many suggestions and questions that could help your figure this out. Do you hanesk6t dryness in other parts of your body like mouth, nose? Thereenough's a rare condition called sjogren's syndrome that ⁰makes your mucus membranes not produceh moisture. Most doctors do not know about this condition. My mom has it and has had to use lube for years.

Also about lubes, I have skin allergies and have a hell of a time finding a lube that won't hurt me. I'm allergic to silicone and potassium sorbate.

List the lubes you have tried

Look up the "YES!" brand. It's really good and feels natural. If the ingredients are good for you, try it.

Maybe you should stick to foreplay?

I'd be perfectly content never having PIV sex... There's plenty of ways to get off most of them I prefer as a man.

Maybe talk to him first before you just dump them because you think it's more of an issue than it really is.

Even when you masturbate? Like you came and still dry?

"allergic to all kinds of lube"... silicone?? it's 100% hypoallergenic because it doesn't get absorbed. I'm sure there must be some medical solution, but just try it meanwhile.