I'm tired of suffering... I've been suffering since before I was even born... Will it be like this forever? Even after my death? I only live because I know suicide is a sin and that my suffering will bear fruit in the future. But I'm tired... Psychological suffering since childhood is awful, man... Is life even worth living? I've tried to find that answer, but I've never found a reason to live or a reason for life to be good. I hate living. Maybe... I'll end it all? Find a way to deal with this suffering? Or maybe more suffering is the answer? I don't know...
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Good meds will get you through it, please don't give up. I've been in your position and I know how impossible it feels but believe me it does get better. You don't have to try and feel good right now, just hold on longer till you get on the right meds.
I'm taking an antidepressant and an antipsychotic. Apparently, it's not helping much. But how much longer will I have to endure this? How long will it take for God to take me?
Read some good philisophy... that will answer most.
Do you have anything to recommend?
The Nature of Consciousness by Rupert Spira
May I ask what medications I'm risperidone?
I am taking 3mg of Risperidone and 40mg of Fluoxetine.
How is fluoxetine compared to other anti depressants if their is any difference and if you have tried them 🤔?
Even if you didn’t have this disease, you’d still suffer.
There’s the Buddhist philosophy of differentiating between pain and suffering where the former is an inevitable physical or emotional sensation, while suffering arises from the one’s reaction to that pain via the 3 poisons (Ignorance, attachment and aversion)
My personal belief is that consciousness is suffering no matter how you look at it.
Thomas ligotti says this brother having consciousness is the problem.
I’m familiar with that author because he had a lot of influence over the first season of True Detective. A lot of existentialist philosophers have similar beliefs
Yes loved the first season. Matthew and the other guy. Sorry can't mind his name both play amazing parts and it's get you thinking.
I think its a loop in the brain that is difficult to get out of. So dangerous repeating "suffering" and "death wish" type thoughts as they kinda solidify
Yes, that makes sense. I try to push those thoughts away, but they always end up coming back.
Self compassion is a kind of cure. At least, that's how my psychological suffering from trauma improved. Philosophy might help but having a problem-solving mindset helps as well. And for the rest, there is acceptance.
Idk what to say so I'm sending you virtual hugs instead 🤗
No
first of all definitely talk to a professional if youre thinking of hurting yourself. but beyond that is there anything that brings you joy in the midst of the suffering?
Confessing, taking communion, playing video games, and hanging out with my friends.
“Where there is life, there is hope”
Only truths
Suffering is an addiction we make bad choices all the time to add to suffering. Everyone has a personal dream of who they want to be or what they want in life. What dogs this dream is our thoughts. If you let go of what you can't control and don't rely on how you think things are but on how things actually are you can start thinking more positively. "Your mind is dyed by the colour of your thoughts." You have to not rely on outside forces to determine your own happiness. Happiness isn't something we chase it's something we create.
For you it is suffering, for me the same thing is challange or trial. When I complete it, things change and I start to suffer differently. First voices, then visions, now tactiles. I no longer care about the victim mentality.
There is no guarantee you won't continue to suffer in the afterlife
I probably will. I've committed many sins. I confess whenever I'm in mortal sin, but there's still temporal guilt left, which must be paid for with penance or in the afterlife (in purgatory). So... I'll probably still suffer for years in the afterlife.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, love yourself more. Life is hard enough, so take it step by step.
I can't swear to anything, but I'll try 🙂👍
I still remember as a kid how my legs grew and it hurted lol , then this diease , god knows what s next thx god im stable ish on meds xD
It's not the suffering that's your problem. The real problem is the response to the suffering. Yes! To live is to suffer, but without suffering one cannot develop character for character is forged in the fires of suffering. Eveyone suffers! And eveyone thinks their suffering is worst of all people. Yet, with all of the suffering we endure and cry against (some even cry out against the injustice of God or the universe because they don't deserve the suffering given) we may have a place to lay our heads. We may have food in the fridge. We may have our hysical health: good eyes, feet, hands, skin, organs, etc. We may have family, friends, and community. We may have excess in many good things. So in all of my suffering and rage against it all, against God and the universe, have I lost sight of my numerous blessings also? Can I give thanks for anything? Can I see beyond the pain and recognize that I still have good in my life? If so, then how can I say life is all pain and suffering with no good? How can I say God or the universe is unjust? I have many good, but the one thing that I do not PRESENTLY have, that I use to sum up the totality of my life. That attitude is unjust and evil. That attitude allows suffering to persist unabated. That attitude can only lead to my destruction. The sun shines no matter how dark the clouds get. Learn to see the good that you've been given. Lean into those. Let the light of those good things be your guide through your dark night. The dark clouds always give way to the light shining down from above, and the morning always follow the darkness of night. YOUR morning rests in your own mental attitude while in your night. The power is in your attitude and response to suffering. If you can understand that then your world will open up. You'll be set free from your cage so you can truly meet the challenges of life and rise above and beyond them.
Yes, life has good things, but they are fleeting, so what good are they? They are useless, and unrestrained pleasures only bring more suffering and guilt.
So then the only thing permanent about life is its impermanence. If the good things have an end, then doesn't that also mean the bad things also must have an end? But if all things are fleeting, when then choose to focus only on the bad things? Perhaps its this focus that makes this impermanent darkness persist as if it's permanent? Suffering then must therefore be a choice. If I'm given both good and evil and all I chose to see is the evil, then why is it strange that I suffer? Suffering is inevitable because I choose it above the alternative. Yes! "All is vanity," like the preacher says. But what are we to do with our vain existence and the vanity and vexation of spirit of it all? Since we're here then there's something for us to do. What that is? We'll never find out if we simply remain locked away in the darkness of suffering crying, "why me?" Why not me?! That's a proper question. The good things in life aren't all about unrestrained pleasure, which as you noted, only leads to more suffering. But pleasure can simply be helping someone with a heavy load, saying hi to a stranger and offering a smile, helping your neighbor, learning a new skill, etc. It's the simple things that we so often step over and call them useless that tend to matter a lot more than what we value them. Step outside ourselves otherwise we remain self-absorbed. We are absorbed into the darkness of our minds and then the world itself reflects this inner darkness. The power is in your own mind. It's your damn mind. You're the boss. It's time to stop living like a servant and remember you're the master of the house. We all have to do this or else we remain as slaves. Accountability is power.
The only slavery that exists within me is my addictions, and those I am working to overcome, slowly. With the new video game I got, I was able to overcome my addictions more easily by keeping myself busy with games that are good for me. These are the kinds of pleasures that keep me sane. Doing good, offering a smile, being a good friend, a good cousin, brother, son, grandson, being a better person, being truly a child of God is a pleasure that I know is not fleeting and is what keeps me sane. The small pleasures of life sustain my sanity, and I am grateful for that. What hurts me is the constant suffering. This suffering has accompanied me since before I was even born, almost dying while still in my mother's womb, going through traumas, psychosis and (possibly) depression. This is what makes me ask "until when?", but never "why me?". I know I have sinned greatly, so I deserve to suffer greatly. Perhaps that is why I focus so much on suffering... I myself don't know. Does this post make sense? Does my life have any meaning beyond suffering and service? My existence isn't so bad; it's minimally bearable, and I have hope in the resurrection of the dead with Our Lord Jesus Christ. That's why I haven't ended my life yet, because without that, life would be so miserable to me that it wouldn't be worth living. Perhaps I should simply accept this suffering as grace and live life in this constant agony? Perhaps I should ask for more suffering, thus sanctifying myself as a martyr? Or should I ask for an end to this constant suffering and seek another way to sanctify myself? What do you think, my friend?
Faith is key. You already have the foundation for that. The suffering you're going through isn't because of any sin. We all sin and fall short and so we all deserve far worse than what we've gotten in this world. But suffering is theme of life. A child is born into the world having not done good or evil, and they're born into cancer, aids, addiction, pain, defective parts, starvation, abuse, and some are just left to die. The gazelle is born and immediately it has to learn how to run because there are predators ready to hunt them. The weakest are the most targeted and their deaths are vicious. They're torn to pieces and devoured. The mother can only flee and move forward for such is the nature of their existence. Life is cruel. But no matter how cruel it is, it endures. The young endures and grow up only to experience the fear of death day after day and night after night. The mothers endure through the pain of losing their offspring, and go on to produce more. They don't live in the past, neither do they pity their existence. They set their eyes forward and persevere through the harshness of their reality. What carries them forward? Hope. Without hope all we all might as well lay down and die. But what is hope when should I escape one suffering, another fire waits for me up ahead? The hope is to endure and persevere through that also. There's no need to ask for more suffering because life will give plenty. You've eaten plenty already. But if you can see the goodness of God in the midst of all of this darkness, then there's no need to doubt that there is an end to your dark night. In fact, that end has already been given. You must simply learn how to accept what has already been given: ask and it shall be given. You've no doubt have been asking. Seek and you shall find: you've been seeking, haven't you? Knock and it shall open to you: you've been knocking for years, so then why haven't you received, found, or entered in? You've got to receive by faith. When you understand this then you will no longer be lost wanderings. You'll find the place where you can rest for that is the place of acceptance and with acceptance comes healing. Acceptance is accepting that God has already given. There's nothing more he can do. It's your faith that must reach out and take. What more is there to do if you've accepted but give thanks? That's how you'll sanctify yourself. It's your faith that does this through accepting the grace provided.
I understand. Thank you for your kind words.
hi there.
May i assume you solved problems before schizophrenia? Did you have a mostly "optimistic"(best solution) outlook on life? Did you not get into too much trouble because you were generally "upstanding"?
It doesnt really make sense to not do this does it? Schizophrenia is not really something that can be interacted with logically* but i mean for every other problem physically, mentally, psychologically....
What do people who see being responsible the same as being schizophrenic think about normal life... they think its torture... they assume magic should exist... do you think you should sympathize with people who are afraid of labor and responsibilities after being tortured?... I dont... lololol
anyway, are you more eastern philosophy character. Youre using a Buddhist thing i think. That is neat. I think you should still work on yourself and learn to be mindful of stuff you cant control directly anymore. this doesnt mean delude yourself or become nihilist. just part of our brains and bodies we could fine tune are currently under attack. the "inside first" needs to be steeling your consciousness.
Play piano or violiN