I feel has if I was just listening to a sad tale everyday and Now I have removed all my social media and aspect of everything. I didn't feel pushed or even cared for sometimes. I was the group starter and now... I feel even now. only one of those people would try to contact me everyday all the others always thought I was busy and didn't want to be bother by such mindless banter sometimes. I always wish people would do it though. everyday I wish someone would just ask me why does the banana grow from the tree? why is it considered a berry? It doesn't matter anymore I let them know how I felt and it never really changed for me... I never had people there in real life and they always did.... I was always left out, no one asked me, and I was just always feeling like I was second choice. todays was the first time I have been truly alone. no one to share anything to, no one tell a stupid joke or make a moment with. that's ok because today I start my life anew and make a new name for myself. some days I just want to give up because I always felt like the second choice for everyone. I know it wasn't true or even remotely close. mostly no one helped me with it, but everyone expected me to disappear from it all. why let it play out? not anymore, goodbye kind strangers from everywhere. make light the world needs.