1) you felt like he gave you the job, despite not feeling like you did particularly well in the interview
2) he's not being truthful about the current manager
3) this whole "you're hired... you'll get your offer when you get here" shenanigans
I don't know enough about your personal situation to tell you what you should do... but you do. If you were to take this role, it seems likely that this is only the start of your frustrations. It feels like the culture at this company is questionable, bordering on shady.
I'd recommend you be very direct, as you've already framed it:
"I appreciate the opportunity, and I think it might be a great fit. That said, we can't know for sure until I have a formal offer to evaluate. I certainly don't want to waste your time - or mine - coming all the way out there just to find out that we're misaligned on comp. Do you think you can get the offer over to me today so that we can decide whether it makes sense for me to make the trip?"
You're right, that's what I think too. Unfortunately, this situation pissed me off so not wanting to show it, I sent a confirmation that I'll be there on Monday. I shouldn't have...
You've put yourself in a bit of a pickle now as it may be seen as poor form to back out. However I think you can choose to either send a follow up requesting to push back the meeting a day so that you can agree on the offer first. Or if you feel that you need to go, be firm about reviewing a formal offer first, and having some time to thoroughly review it on your own, before you proceed with the rest of the discussion. If they won't agree to either of these then you shouldn't waste your time with this org.
I would send this to HR alone and drop the CEO off of the email chain. It’s a subtle but deliberate move but it will force them to have an internal conversation over the weekend about how to handle this. But if we’re being honest, we all know that long term this is probably not going to be a great situation that you’re walking into.
I agree with this. It’s hard to say because I don’t know the industry but what if he comes with an offer above expectations? Like I get the hesitation on one hand but what’s the worst that can happen? You’re out a train ticket?
Show up and do your thing and get that bag. Stop being so negative. My last few jobs they flew me out for interview including room and board before I had a letter.
You’re putting too many things out there before you even know what’s in play.
You’re showing up so there’s no need for the following
“Bottom line is, I want to frame it as: "I'm here because I'm a pro and I want to work with you, but I was surprised not to see the terms beforehand. What's your offer?"”
When you get there they’re obviously going to provide you and offer, no need to be a tough guy. Review the offer, if you’re happy with it then accept it and get to work, if you’re not happy with the offer or it’s unacceptable then tell them you can’t accept it and why you deserve more. You’ve already admitted you don’t understand the market rate and it’s really difficult if not impossible to successfully negotiate from a place of ignorance.
Feels like there are several red flags here:
1) you felt like he gave you the job, despite not feeling like you did particularly well in the interview
2) he's not being truthful about the current manager
3) this whole "you're hired... you'll get your offer when you get here" shenanigans
I don't know enough about your personal situation to tell you what you should do... but you do. If you were to take this role, it seems likely that this is only the start of your frustrations. It feels like the culture at this company is questionable, bordering on shady.
I'd recommend you be very direct, as you've already framed it:
"I appreciate the opportunity, and I think it might be a great fit. That said, we can't know for sure until I have a formal offer to evaluate. I certainly don't want to waste your time - or mine - coming all the way out there just to find out that we're misaligned on comp. Do you think you can get the offer over to me today so that we can decide whether it makes sense for me to make the trip?"
You're right, that's what I think too. Unfortunately, this situation pissed me off so not wanting to show it, I sent a confirmation that I'll be there on Monday. I shouldn't have...
You've put yourself in a bit of a pickle now as it may be seen as poor form to back out. However I think you can choose to either send a follow up requesting to push back the meeting a day so that you can agree on the offer first. Or if you feel that you need to go, be firm about reviewing a formal offer first, and having some time to thoroughly review it on your own, before you proceed with the rest of the discussion. If they won't agree to either of these then you shouldn't waste your time with this org.
I would send this to HR alone and drop the CEO off of the email chain. It’s a subtle but deliberate move but it will force them to have an internal conversation over the weekend about how to handle this. But if we’re being honest, we all know that long term this is probably not going to be a great situation that you’re walking into.
Turn up. What's the worst that can happen? You wasted a morning?
I agree with this. It’s hard to say because I don’t know the industry but what if he comes with an offer above expectations? Like I get the hesitation on one hand but what’s the worst that can happen? You’re out a train ticket?
Show up and do your thing and get that bag. Stop being so negative. My last few jobs they flew me out for interview including room and board before I had a letter.
You’re putting too many things out there before you even know what’s in play.
You’re showing up so there’s no need for the following
“Bottom line is, I want to frame it as: "I'm here because I'm a pro and I want to work with you, but I was surprised not to see the terms beforehand. What's your offer?"”
When you get there they’re obviously going to provide you and offer, no need to be a tough guy. Review the offer, if you’re happy with it then accept it and get to work, if you’re not happy with the offer or it’s unacceptable then tell them you can’t accept it and why you deserve more. You’ve already admitted you don’t understand the market rate and it’s really difficult if not impossible to successfully negotiate from a place of ignorance.
Good luck
You have all the leverage at all times. Only you can give it away. What do you want to make? Just stick at that.
There's no power move that can change your mind.
Look, if you can prove value, money won't be the obstacle. A CEO is willing to pay whatever to make money