When I was a little kid I used to try to skip out on cleaning up after xmas dinner. When I turned 11 I started actively leading every holiday clean up and being the MVP of the kitchen. I'm 24 now so it's been a decade plus of this performance and this year I had to sit out of clean up because I was feeling so ill and the entire family jumped on me in a non-joking manner saying how it's so characteristic of me to skip clean up... all leftover from that 11-year old me's personality. I brushed it off on the surface but the rage is actually palpable
They installed those buttons
I was going to comment exactly that
I feel like no matter how much therapy I go through I still sometimes return to my teenage self around the fam. It’s like no matter how much you change they’ll still do their best to bring shit out of you
This is what stresses me about going home at times (and of course I love my family and appreciate it). It’s just bizarre to be a fully grown adult and still step into that teenage role for a few days. It makes you annoyed/sometimes resentful in a way you absolutely don’t want to be.
Puke on the worst perpetrator
It actually makes me feel a lot better to know it’s not just my family because fuck these fuckers make me feel insane. Poking fun is one thing but it’s so weird and creepy to be straight up mean and try to disguise it as a joke. Weak minded individuals that are threatened by other people’s happiness/emotional maturity
no, you nailed it. it's really wild that so many people we meet in our life are more well adjusted & conscientious (& i know it has to be some bias on our ends, statistically, right?) but it blows my mind how there's constant bickering, rudeness, & meanness. it's so so stressful & i remember every time why i moved away right after HS.
i'm fine with holidays except with my family.
I had to watch a groyper and a super maga boomer fight and the groyper almost got kicked out of Christmas when he made fun of Trump.
It was so much drama then they started fighting about wars and the boomer said "if we didn't fight those wars we would have been invaded and we would be speaking another language right now" so I said "wait which war in particular are you talking about?" and the boomer said "I'm not talking about a particular war" and I said "oh okay".
Then later I got REPRIMANDED by two other family members in private for "egging them on" and that "I should know what is and is not an appropriate conversation for Christmas"? They then told me that I started all of it when I didn't even speak to them until that point!
AHHH I am so pissed they acted like it was my fault somehow!!!
Shame them for being whiny pigs. It goes both ways
It completely blows my mind and makes me feel insane when adults (specifically parents) hold children’s behavior against them once they’re full grown. My mom and I recently went no contact because she holds so much against me from when I was a teenager. I’m 34 now. I was never even a bad teenager, I was an honors student and went to a good college and got a PhD. I have my own child now and fully expect her to be a moody and irritating preteen/teen, that’s the deal you make when you have kids.
I see random family every few years and they talk shit worse than any friend or girlfriend I see regularly. Somehow thats the etiquette? I think you need to be more polite to people yo hardly know
I've been trying to convince my family you can't see the Great Wall of China from space since I was 5. I'm in my 30s now. Every few years it comes back up and I get to be the insufferable "well actually" guy all over again, except I'm RIGHT and astronauts have literally confirmed this.
Being the "factoid boy" as a kid meant I had to teach myself logic, consistency, debate tactics, logical fallacies - the whole arsenal - just to be taken seriously. And you know what? It still doesn't work on family. I can identify their exact fallacy in real time and it doesn't matter because to them I'm still just being That Kid Who Has To Be Right About Everything.
The myth is more comfortable than updating their mental model, and updating their mental model would mean acknowledging I was right about something when I was 5.
It's not even about the wall anymore. It's about the fact that family locks you into whoever you were when you first annoyed them. That "factoid boy" identity shaped who I became - for better and worse. The better: I actually know what I'm talking about now. The worse: I still care way too much about being right.