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Also, this entire skit is in direct contradiction of scripture, specifically the man being crucified with Jesus who is told he will see Heaven when he dies, despite the fact that he has led a sinful life, because he recognizes Jesus as God.
It’s like these Christians don’t even read their one textbook.
The all-knowing, omnipotent lawgiver and supreme judge of the universe using the phrase "the council has decided" is perhaps the most heretical thing I've ever heard and I hang out with satanists.
To be honest, this is pretty much in line with how stupid the god of both the new old and New Testament is. E.g. giving its chosen people a land that was already occupied by a bunch of hostile tribes (one would assume than an all-knowing superior being could choose a better place that is not inhabited already), having to resort to genocide, disproportionate violence, proxy punishments, and all manner of violent means to settle disputes (we are a bunch of limited primates and we have come with many ways to avoid violence: diplomacy, free trade, de-escalation, etc.); and so many other examples.
From an objective new testament viewpoint I have to show:
John 15:22 ("If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin, but now they have no excuse for their sin")
and Hebrews 10:26 ("If we deliberately go on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no further sacrifice for sins remains").
You're partly though correct, the thief on the cross according to Jesus would see paradise. But that is because while they did believe, they also repented, is it not?
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
"For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.”
John 14:15
" If ye love me, keep my commandments."
Thessalonians 4:3-8
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.
Basically showcasing to them who are interested in this and not to let anyone get led astray.
Well I'm extremely glad I quoted the gospels mostly to get the point across. But I totally get that, I too had to really examine what paul said and wrote with a lot of doubt because they came after Jesus' death.
John 3:
"Jesus replied, 'Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.'"
"A person is born physically by human parents, but is born spiritually by the Spirit."
"You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’"
Again I am here to just guide the ones that seek this. It's very clear even from an evangelist standpoint that faith without works is dead but works do not save you. Indeed we are not called to be perfect but to repent and turn away from sin. We cannot go deliberately sinning.
Luke 11:28 :
He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”
Yes the thief on the cross was saved. If one comes to christ at their last minutes with a repentant heart they are saved. But if one thinks that they can "trick" their way into heaven pulling out a belief card having sinned and not cared a bit for it, that's not what the gospels taught. Belief forms a deep personal relationship. God isn't going to force you to be with him for an eternity if you didn't want anything to do with God in the first place.
Yes, if you truly sincerely repent at the end. Personally to me one thing that I wonder about is at what point does the grace and forgiveness stop? Or obviously it's pointed at our death. Written the time of salvation being now (sorry this too is Corinthians). After that, is there a chance? I surely haven't read about purgatory in the new testament. But cheers thank you for responding, I think this discourse gave anyone who decides to read it enough to start thinking over it even from an atheistic theological standpoint. God bless.
I just dont understand how you could even have the opportunity to "repent" or turn away from your sinful ways, at the last seconds of your life. Obviously this is an example given from a man directly next to Jesus. But still.
Sometimes the regret of the ways we choose comes crashing down in a moment. I think about in this way: If one repents at the very last seconds and then would be given another chance to live, they would choose to live with Christ renewed heart from that point on. But I feel you. It really is a complex thing in my opinion.
I killed millions of people but I still believe...welcome to heaven. I grew up in China and never hurt anyone, but I don't believe... to hell with you, for I'm a jackass god.
The saddest part is that he remains the same kind of asshole in the Old Testament. Jesus (his human alter ego according to Christianity) could become a pretty bad asshole when he wanted to, e.g. calling a woman a dog before making her beg to have her daughter saved, telling a blind mind that he was born that way so he could display his magic tricks on him, going berserk at a bunch of illiterate merchants at a temple (of all the things he could have chosen to feel offended on that day - torture, child sexual abuse, rape, crucifixions, abuse of power by both the Romans and the Jewish elite, you name it - he chose the most menial and superficial thing), cursing a fig tree and condemning it to never bear fruit because it didn’t have any fig la even though it was off season, etc.
Actually, yes. But it was more like he was part of one. Originally, the Canaanite pantheon had El at the head of the divine council. Yahweh was later fused together with El to create the Jewish god, separate from the older Semitic traditions.
But even taking all of that into consideration, I still cringed really hard when he said that.
Well I mean it's not like god drowned a whole bunch of babies in cold blood...... Or turned a woman into salt for looking at a city he was busy destroying.
What on earth are you talking about? And I quote “You used the truth of my unconditional love to abuse my grace. You will have to pay for that” So there is a condition. If there was a god of unconditional love, then there wouldn’t be a hell. One of the great contradictions of the Bible.
It feels like there should be one of those fast spoken caveats at the end, like "Unconditional love may not be implemented, terms and conditions apply...."
I'm an atheist now, but was a pastor. I never got the abortion thing. If most people who live don't go to heaven (Matt 7) and even many people who think they are Christians don't make it (Rev 22). Why not abort babies? It seems like the best chance that anyone has of going to heaven is to get plucked out of the womb. Christians should stop trying to convert adults and open abortion clinics, statistically they'd do much better.
Good. You knew the rules of your faith, then live by those rules. This ain't monopoly, you don't get a "get out of jail" card for breaking those rules.
Believing isn't some coupon you can trade in "just in case". There are "rules" to these religious things that you picked.
They need to stop letting everybody just skittle by on the rules. 😀
My point was I get ticked that people in religion don't understand what they are signing up for. Not the "satan" bullshit just the "I don't understand my faith's take on stuff".
They skinny by in their faith, doing absolute performative bullshit or deep dive doing extremist things. But this short is their faith. It's ugly extremist ways exposed. Rather than their cult-lite antics.
To avoid having your post removed &/or account banned for shitposting:
r/religiousfruitcake is about the absurd, fringe elements of organised religion. Posts about mundane beliefs and acts of worship (praying to God, believing in God, believing in afterlife, etc), are off topic.
We arent here to bash either specific religions or religion itself, because there are plenty of rational actors who happen to be religious. So if your post is "Christians are sTOoPid", or "Religion = dUmB", you're in the wrong sub and your post will probably be removed.
Dont use the title or body of your post to soapbox personal rhetoric about religion or any other subject.
Don't post videos or discussions of Fruitcakes who have been baited or antagonised. Social media excerpts must not involve any deliberate provocation / antagonism of Fruitcakes.
Dont post videos of physically violent personal attacks or any pics or videos containing gore
Satire, parodies, memes, videos, etc must be made by Fruitcakes, not by third parties about them. (exception for journalistic sources)
This information is on every post. Accounts that disregard it will be perma-banned. "I didn't get a warning" or "I didnt know" are not valid appeals. If in doubt, please read the full version of the rules
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That’s the finest acting I’ve ever seen.
Also, this entire skit is in direct contradiction of scripture, specifically the man being crucified with Jesus who is told he will see Heaven when he dies, despite the fact that he has led a sinful life, because he recognizes Jesus as God.
It’s like these Christians don’t even read their one textbook.
Of course they don't read. They just want to use religion as an excuse to hate others.
"It’s like these Christians don’t even read their one textbook."
The all-knowing, omnipotent lawgiver and supreme judge of the universe using the phrase "the council has decided" is perhaps the most heretical thing I've ever heard and I hang out with satanists.
To be honest, this is pretty much in line with how stupid the god of both the new old and New Testament is. E.g. giving its chosen people a land that was already occupied by a bunch of hostile tribes (one would assume than an all-knowing superior being could choose a better place that is not inhabited already), having to resort to genocide, disproportionate violence, proxy punishments, and all manner of violent means to settle disputes (we are a bunch of limited primates and we have come with many ways to avoid violence: diplomacy, free trade, de-escalation, etc.); and so many other examples.
The line: and i hang out with satanist made me laugh lol.
Thanks, I needed that today.
From an objective new testament viewpoint I have to show: John 15:22 ("If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin, but now they have no excuse for their sin") and Hebrews 10:26 ("If we deliberately go on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no further sacrifice for sins remains").
You're partly though correct, the thief on the cross according to Jesus would see paradise. But that is because while they did believe, they also repented, is it not?
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
"For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.”
John 14:15 " If ye love me, keep my commandments."
Thessalonians 4:3-8 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.
Basically showcasing to them who are interested in this and not to let anyone get led astray.
Except Jesus didn't speak in Thessalonians. It was that usurper Paul.
Well I'm extremely glad I quoted the gospels mostly to get the point across. But I totally get that, I too had to really examine what paul said and wrote with a lot of doubt because they came after Jesus' death. John 3: "Jesus replied, 'Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.'" "A person is born physically by human parents, but is born spiritually by the Spirit." "You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’" Again I am here to just guide the ones that seek this. It's very clear even from an evangelist standpoint that faith without works is dead but works do not save you. Indeed we are not called to be perfect but to repent and turn away from sin. We cannot go deliberately sinning. Luke 11:28 : He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”
Yes the thief on the cross was saved. If one comes to christ at their last minutes with a repentant heart they are saved. But if one thinks that they can "trick" their way into heaven pulling out a belief card having sinned and not cared a bit for it, that's not what the gospels taught. Belief forms a deep personal relationship. God isn't going to force you to be with him for an eternity if you didn't want anything to do with God in the first place.
Yes, but if you are the prodigal son and repent at the end, it's ok. Has to be sincere, of course. Paul doesn't usurp that.
Yes, if you truly sincerely repent at the end. Personally to me one thing that I wonder about is at what point does the grace and forgiveness stop? Or obviously it's pointed at our death. Written the time of salvation being now (sorry this too is Corinthians). After that, is there a chance? I surely haven't read about purgatory in the new testament. But cheers thank you for responding, I think this discourse gave anyone who decides to read it enough to start thinking over it even from an atheistic theological standpoint. God bless.
I just dont understand how you could even have the opportunity to "repent" or turn away from your sinful ways, at the last seconds of your life. Obviously this is an example given from a man directly next to Jesus. But still.
Sometimes the regret of the ways we choose comes crashing down in a moment. I think about in this way: If one repents at the very last seconds and then would be given another chance to live, they would choose to live with Christ renewed heart from that point on. But I feel you. It really is a complex thing in my opinion.
So you're saying there is a condition. Got it.
I recommend reading the gospels for yourself if you're even slightly interested!
When two or more are gathered in His Word. Ty and have a joyous holiday season!
What the fuck does that even mean?
In the Director’s Cut he also played Dungeons and Dragons and wished people Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas.
Lol, blasphemy.
😂
He also listened to bad music aka rock and roll
Astrology? Witchcraft. Apparently it's witchcraft.
What’s funny is how “Jesus” says “uhhh…”
Oh I didn't even unmute the cringe. So desperate.
"oooo uranus is in retrograde!"
I killed millions of people but I still believe...welcome to heaven. I grew up in China and never hurt anyone, but I don't believe... to hell with you, for I'm a jackass god.
For a god he sure has a lot of traits of man, like being a petty vindictive bully. Not very godlike at all.
The saddest part is that he remains the same kind of asshole in the Old Testament. Jesus (his human alter ego according to Christianity) could become a pretty bad asshole when he wanted to, e.g. calling a woman a dog before making her beg to have her daughter saved, telling a blind mind that he was born that way so he could display his magic tricks on him, going berserk at a bunch of illiterate merchants at a temple (of all the things he could have chosen to feel offended on that day - torture, child sexual abuse, rape, crucifixions, abuse of power by both the Romans and the Jewish elite, you name it - he chose the most menial and superficial thing), cursing a fig tree and condemning it to never bear fruit because it didn’t have any fig la even though it was off season, etc.
"I don't even know who you are"
"Sucks, have fun in hell"
Ooo, Vader Jesus! The fanfic I've been waiting on!
"I am my father."
I am fascinated by the Christian ability to cook the most atheistic thing that no atheist could ever make.
God has a council?
and he abused jesus' sins......
Actually, yes. But it was more like he was part of one. Originally, the Canaanite pantheon had El at the head of the divine council. Yahweh was later fused together with El to create the Jewish god, separate from the older Semitic traditions.
But even taking all of that into consideration, I still cringed really hard when he said that.
Uhm God very much condoned abortion. And he had no qualms killing babies.. So to quote Officer Tenpenny: "Don't bullshit us Carl!"
Well I mean it's not like god drowned a whole bunch of babies in cold blood...... Or turned a woman into salt for looking at a city he was busy destroying.
Cool, so real Jesus is a Sith? Darth Lord Jesus
Wow. The storylines in gay pornography are getting really intense.
Also, I agree that if there is a hell, practising astrology should get you there
Typical Virgo
Jk. I don't know shit about that shit.
Yeah but people keep subscribing so they gotta keep production values up! One day, they’ll have their own section at Sundance 😜
We're hitting levels of cringe that shouldn't be possible
This is actually pretty funny. I wish more religions make cool fan fiction for their God
What the fuck is wrong with these people
Someone doesn't know what unconditional means
Jesus be using the dark side of the force like
Literal heresy, but go off ig
Remember what Jesus said about abortion?
Remember what Jesus said about LGBTQ?
Jesus didn't say anything about either one of these two things—NOTHING!
JESUS II : back with a vengeance
My imaginary friend is the fake imaginary friend posing as the real imaginary friend
Christians really are some of the corniest MFers.
Filmed in silence btw.... What a waste of talent
Unconditional. Riiiiiiiiiii
He will have to pay for abusing Jesus unconditional love? So so it’s conditional then?
The mental calisthenics these people do to ignore all their contradictions and enforce their delusion would be astounding if I wasn’t so used to it.
the line at the very end was abusing jesus' sins!!! XD omg its... different
What on earth are you talking about? And I quote “You used the truth of my unconditional love to abuse my grace. You will have to pay for that” So there is a condition. If there was a god of unconditional love, then there wouldn’t be a hell. One of the great contradictions of the Bible.
Shit I stroked out for that? Idk I watched it twice b4 and heard sin. I rewatched it even because I couldn't believe it 😆 its grace yea
One might consider influencing to be sinful
It feels like there should be one of those fast spoken caveats at the end, like "Unconditional love may not be implemented, terms and conditions apply...."
"Ay but like... didn't your dad have a habit of murdering children and infants?"
Ugh
I don't remember this scene from Get Out
Soooo…conditional love
Jesus loves you so much He will send you to DROWN IN A LAKE OF HELLFIRE FOR ALL ETERNITY.
someday if i have enough butt sex i get that love 🥲
It's like he doesn't even know what the word "unconditional" means.
Unconditional love with conditions
WTF this guy thinks that makes his religion look sound and good!?
That’s SUPER cool that this dude took the time to make this by himself.
"The council has spoken" this is some Game of Thrones shit 🤣
Jesus force choking someone is crazy.
I really thought this was satirical lol
So no reason to ever do anything right?
I guess Jesus was a Jedi now
This is so embarrassing. The second hand embarrassment. 🥴
You’re not supposed to pretend to be god, pretty sure that’s a sin. Also Jesus said nothing about LGBT people or abortions
ngl i kinda like mentally unstable superpowered jesus. in a The Boys kinda way
Are you against killing millions of babies?
No I support your decision to flood the entire planet.
Isn't this blasphemous?
This has the exact pacing of an ITYSL skit.
Ah yes, VENGEFUL JESUS
Jesus was a hippie. Peace and love. Jesus was cool.
Absolute cinema.
I'm an atheist now, but was a pastor. I never got the abortion thing. If most people who live don't go to heaven (Matt 7) and even many people who think they are Christians don't make it (Rev 22). Why not abort babies? It seems like the best chance that anyone has of going to heaven is to get plucked out of the womb. Christians should stop trying to convert adults and open abortion clinics, statistically they'd do much better.
Siiiiiick force powers
It's only okay to kill it after it's born. /s
Wtf 😂😂😂
Cool plot twist!!
Lmao me after a genocide but i decided to believe in him
Good. You knew the rules of your faith, then live by those rules. This ain't monopoly, you don't get a "get out of jail" card for breaking those rules.
Believing isn't some coupon you can trade in "just in case". There are "rules" to these religious things that you picked.
They need to stop letting everybody just skittle by on the rules. 😀
I have no idea what your point is.
My point was I get ticked that people in religion don't understand what they are signing up for. Not the "satan" bullshit just the "I don't understand my faith's take on stuff".
They skinny by in their faith, doing absolute performative bullshit or deep dive doing extremist things. But this short is their faith. It's ugly extremist ways exposed. Rather than their cult-lite antics.