Reddit has many annoying quirks but the best content this site has to offer in my opinion are the advice threads. My two personal favorites:
- A 45 year old female marketing manager had her job made obsolete by AI. Started a thread in r/jobs asking how she could use her experience to pivot to another role. The comment section was filled with users suggesting she “join the trades” and spamming links to plumbing and electrical apprenticeships.
- Some guy made a thread asking how to pick up women in r/datingadvice. The top comment instructed him to approach whichever girl he found interesting and say “I love your earrings. They really match your hair” then walk away and sit down somewhere else. If she was interested she’d approach him and start a conversation. I posted saying this would result in getting laughed at best and someone replied “I take it your one of those guys who doesn’t wipe their ass cause they think it’s gay”
- 3. Oh shit I forgot the best one. This was in another one of those “How do I get pussy?“ threads. One of the upvoted comments said ”Dating apps are mostly useless and cold approaching often makes women uncomfortable. If casual sex is what you’re after, I’d recommend getting involved in your communities local kink scene.“ In many people‘s eyes, having orgies with randoms Is the safer, more ethical alternative to asking out the cute girl at the coffee shop.
Reddit dating advice genuinely makes me sad. Idk why they always say the "and then walk away" part. You can tell very quickly from striking up a conversation if someone is interested, and if you can't just ask them before one of you leaves!
I think in the Redditors mind the “and then walk away” part is supposed to keep the woman from feeling uncomfortable. The necessary implication being that you are so ugly and socially stupid that your mere presence makes people uncomfortable.
Another angle might be tha it makes you seem aloof and mysterious which… no. If you’re hot enough that you can make women go “who is HE?” from a single sentence you wouldn’t need dating advice.
it's sad because a sizeable amount of men do make women uncomfortable by aggressively hitting on them and not leaving them alone, which is where this advice stems from, but the guys who need to hear this will never listen and neurotic redditors who need to look online for dating advice do not need to hear how scared they might make someone feel by simply talking to them
I think season 2 of the rehearsal is a great example of this. There was these two pilots on the show, one who was this good looking confident guy who had been kicked off of multiple dating apps. The other was this average to below average looking pilot who was awkward but seemed like a genuinely interesting guy.
I remember tons of people trying to group the second awkward pilot with the first. Making it seem like he was socially inept, when really he just had low confidence. He knew how to read the signs he just had trouble committing.
Wait weren't you supposed to pretend to be a rodent
WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN!?
I am a mouse man! What can a mouse mouse man only talk about certain topics!?
I’m sorry! Squeak cheese squeak!
That was mad specist I can’t believe that guy just said that to you
Sadly thats the life of a mouse man 🥲
The funny/sad part is acting neurotic in this way is what activates the triggers that are going to make women uncomfortable, if anything
I’m sort of torn on this stuff. On one hand I do think people do overdo the whole making women comfortable thing. Which ends up making it seem like women never ever like being hit on in public.
On the other hands there’s just some really really regaeded people on here. I’ll never forget the guy who thought his cashier was hitting on him because on his receipt it said something like “1. Bad Ass Double Bacon and Burger. 2. Phone #”. The op thought the cashier was shy and trying to ask for his number. When everyone in the comments told him that she probably wasn’t asking for his number and it’s likely just there for orders over the phone. The OP ended up up doubling down instead of just admitting the truth.
Maybe it was all a troll though which if it was, it was a pretty good one.
The whole “keeping women from feeling uncomfortable” thing has made it so hard for guys to approach women and strike up a conversation, for fear of being seen as a predator.
I’ve been approached by guys in the past (I’m married now, so this is going back like 15 years, different time then I suppose) and when I wasn’t interested I just politely let them know and they were cool with it. I actually went out of my way not to embarrass them because I thought “good on them” for having the courage to try to pick someone up irl and didn’t want to put them off trying it with someone else.
I once met and went on a few dates with a hot massage therapist who asked what I was listening to on my iPod, when we were on the tram. That sort of shit probably never happens now.
On my city’s sub once this topic came up and I was downvoted to fuck for saying I didn’t mind if guys approached me. Like it’s illegal to simply talk to people in public now.
It seriously is crazy how ass backwards people have things that just digs a deeper hole for self sabotage and coming off like a bigger weirdo. I get there's always going to be dummies giving bad advice online but any of the crap that's like "be mysterious and endearing", it's like nobody's trying to play some weirdo games in a crowded room or is going to be flocking to get to know you when you're doing everything in your power to be as much as a stranger as possible. I remember a meme floating around a little while ago that was basically making fun of the guy who blew the whole night not talking to anybody and then rushed to give an instagram handle at the last second barely saying anything.
I mean these women are just telling the truth, no? I think your just unhappy because you don't want the truth to be true.
I'm not entirely sure but it could have come from the book "models". It's been a while since i read it, but i do remember something being mentioned about dropping a compliment on a woman and then fucking off to some corner to show interest while not being too available or whatever. It's my best guess because I've seen that book recommended like a million times by redditors so it's my best guess as to where they got it from.
The walk away part actually works but you need to turn 360 degrees before doing it
They saw it in that episode of Drake and Josh 20 years ago.
Okay, we can tell. There are apparently a lot of people in this world who absolutely cannot tell.
Yeah, being able to hold a conversation is like 90% of dating. I always tell people in the dating subs if they’re really struggling to try engaging in a more female centric hobby or watching/listening to more female centric movies and music since it helps you connect with women. Always get the “I’m not going to change my life to meet a girl” or “saying you love anime and video games actually isn’t a turnoff to women. Lots of women love video games and anime.”
reddit is such a goddamn awful place to "be human". they all act like they are these ultra "moral" robots who shall not make anyone uncomfortable or dare to have an "incorrect" opinion. I guess that's just the autism + never actually meeting and knowing people irl and learning how humans interact.
100% agree, "be yourself" is one the worst advice out there for a reason.
It seems like actually good advice taken to an absurd extreme.
Like, showering a random girl with attention is more likely to get you labeled weird, creepy, or desperate, and lingering around after giving an insincere compliment like you expect some sort of reciprocation won't help. You should put the ball in her court at some point, and be willing to walk away if she doesnt seem interested. But you still have to actually engage them somewhat and not just run away after the bare minimum flirting.
That’s literally the plot of an episode of Drake&Josh lmao
so many comments on reddit are people making references to tv shows and it's there just for the people who will get it. seems like op wasn't the intended audience for that one
Believe me, the poster was being sincere.
ive not seen it but im assuming if this guy caught it then it's way too specific to be real advice. you're finished
such a good show
The Tetris for Trauma meme. They showed graphic images to psych undergrads and had them rate their fee fees.
It's junk science and has been more or less shown to be untrue.
One of my besties always plays testers while listening to positive affirmation recordings. She’s a basket case.
Positive affirmation recordings? I can just imagine it’s like an NPR voice repeating “you are valued,” “your feelings are valid,” “you are a good person.” Bonus points for Amy Goodman shrill screech whenever she mentions the president.
You’re about right. They’re like 45-minute recordings that say like “I am in control of my present state of being. I have the power to influence my future. I am in perfect stasis in this moment.”
It's annoying because normally the thing to do would be to reply telling that person that this is junk science, but since it's always posted in a Very Serious discussion about some recent tragedy, and since the Tetris advice is a reddit religion now, you're guaranteed to get like 15 guys with bearded reddit avatars jumping down your throat with "NOWS NOT THE TIME BRO"
Facts matter less than values. Telling someone to plag tetris makes you a good fucking person.
There’s nothing more anxiety inducing than a lvl15 tetris marathon.
Are you 12?
I'm gay
On a thread about filling holes in a driveway the top comment instructed OP to drive around town looking for crews doing asphalt, fill a bucket with all the scrap, and then reheat it himself with a blowtorch. This is apparently better than spending $10 on cold patch.
“Get the giant anime tattoo, anyone who would judge you for it isn’t someone you’d want to be around anyway”
Keeping long term perspective can be difficult but I beg of you to think about yourself as a 63 year old man talking about how the blown out Squirtle that covers your entire upper arm was your favorite Pokémon when you were a child.
This reminds me of another trope, where OP (typically female) spontaneously changes her appearance in an extreme way, sometimes even in a way her partner specifically would not like, like shaves her head, gets a huge tattoo, etc and when her husband finds it a turn off all the comments say he’s the asshole and should break up etc
I saw one of these about a tongue piercing the other day lol, I think that’s one of those where you gotta be super honest with a romantic partner if it’s something they’re considering cause hoo boy
>when you were a child
the way these people are going theyll still be watching childrens cartoons into geriatrics
This sub says "Learn trades" in some pretty dumb scenarios. I remember one person said Draco Malfoys actor should learn them.
For some reason people online think manual labor is a money printer.
Are a lot of people online are NEETs and/or burnouts who have never worked anything beyond retail or service industry. A full-time job with healthcare benefits doing something you couldn’t do in high school would genuinely be a paradigm shift for them.
Then of course you have the spergs who are self aware enough to know they’re never gonna talk their way into a job, so they need hard skills which speak for themselves. The more middling of this group used to go into tech, but now that ship is sinking, and the only way out is down into trades and technician work. Genuinely feel bad for this group because they’re doing their best, yet are downwardly mobile due to social forces they aren’t equipped to adapt to or contend with.
But yeah those two groups together comprise the bulk of this website
This is me rn, went from hybrid tech job and now I’m starting work in a factory. I think adaptability is a good trait to have and serves you well in general life, if not professionally.
It’s tricky because it usually is. But the understanding that you imbue in your mother’s milk if you grow up blue collar is that it pays a ton because you can’t do it for long and you’re semi crippled at 45. So you make like $50/hr cash in your twenties because when you’re 50 you can’t work. But people outside this ecosystem just see, “wow! Even a masons tender is like 30 bucks and hour!”
Not even close to true. The only manual labor jobs that make that kind of money are skilled trades and things you need to know somebody to get. Entry level roustabouts that hire on through a company website make 15-22 an hour.
It is compared to not having a job. I have no idea why so many people are complaining about how bad the job market is when they're willingly getting into fields that are so braindead that they can be replaced by ChatGPT.
If you want job security, get into a field that existed before the internet and will continue to exist without the internet.
Sucking 👏cum 👏for 👏pressed 👏blues!!! 👏
Clues that you're depressed: You's
Sucking cum for pressed blues
Makeup on a fresh bruise
Taking in excess news
Hooking up with guys whose
Fathers were all test tubes
Can't be fucked to find shoes
Blood is two percent booze
Hours of repeat snooze
Dwelling on misspent youth
ok i'm good now
I don't think anyone here has suggested that someone like a 45 year old lifelong PMC woman should get into a trade.
Kinda random but whenever there's someone posting about a strange situation...
"GET A CARBON MONOXIDE DETECTOR!!!"
Am I to believe that there are literally thousands of people literally gassing themselves to death on accident each and every day?
This one lol.
You on those ghosts subs lol? The other psychotic advice they often give, "Leave your house IMMEDIATELY, and call the police!" They seem to truly believe that there is a rash of humans hiding in the attics and crawlspaces of countless houses. Waiting for the residents to leave so that they can roam free and leave behind, an only slightly humanoid appearing shape, to be captured by their blurry ring camera.
Every piece of advice on any advice sub. If the OP is wronged, the comments will be coming up with elaborate retaliations or revenge that will probably backfire or make things worse.
Or when they do that thing where they, unprompted, write out what they think OP should say. Like: "MIL, I appreciate that you care for your grandchild and provide us with free babysitting, but it is a hard boundary for me that you respect our beliefs and do not bring Jayden to church.This is non-negotiable. Until you are ready to comply, we will not be inviting you to any parties." Then the reply to that is "🙌 Perfect! OP, say this!"
And maybe OP does send that exact message to their mother in law, who probably responds like "don't talk to me like you're a robot, and say goodbye to the free babysitting"
Yeah they always write out the coldest, most HR-sounding responses. No, I’m not going to tell my emotional friend that I “need to take a break from making space for her, but we can continue this conversation when I have had time to reenergize.”
Yeah, it's especially egregious when they write these screeds intended for someone's partner or friend or loved sibling. It's not actually very nice to talk to a loved one that way, especially when they're upset. That kind of cold, distant therapy speak usually makes people more upset.
Will never forget the comments telling the OP that her husband's emotions are not her concern and that he's the asshole for expecting support from her after his mom died
Jesus Christ I really hope all of those comments were teenagers. That's sociopathic behavior to extend to a loved one
I was absolutely horrified by some advice I saw given the other day, and how other respondents were gassing up the OP.
OP had a shared birthday (they turned 33) with their 25 year old brother in law. The BIL and his wife announced their pregnancy at the family gathering. OP was furious that attention had been diverted from her on HER birthday and refused to congratulate the expectant couple. Responses ranged from “grow up” to “how dare they!!”. Someone commented that “maybe they just aren’t a congratulatory person, that’s their right” and was heavily upvoted… someone in response said “that’s just being antisocial, you can’t build community like that” and was heavily downvoted. It was shocking to me, because you hear so many people complaining about how “no one has a village anymore”, and then refuse to perform literally the easiest thing in the world (“congratulations, that’s so exciting!”) in order to uplift a member of their family and community. IDK, it sounds so stupid written out, but it was a really shocking look at how narcissistic apparently a ton of Reddit users are. Imagine thinking that you don’t have to congratulate your BIL and SIL on the biggest moment of their lives because “I’m not a person who congratulates others”
It's the most repulsive, creepy attitude redditors seem to get really excited and evangelical about. You Don't Owe Anyone Anything. Something I never fucking heard until reddit, and have no idea where it originated as a blanket ideology to snuff out all kinds of normal human self sacrifice, compromise, kindness and selflessness. I think some neurotic angry narcissists started co opting it from their therapy sessions where they took having boundaries to an autist extreme and then started using it to say shit like 'if OP wants to cut his mom out of hisr life because she didn't give him a cake on their 8th birthday, that's valid.'
But in case this rampant new self pitying hyper faux moral kind of narcissism keeps growing, let's be clear - you do owe people many things. You owe a basic level of humanity, kindness, and care for your fellow man. You should be there for your loved ones. You should be more than a fair weather friend. You should be able to sacrifice your own comfort sometimes for someone you love.
Unless of course, you're okay with having soulless empty connections based purely on vibes and your own personal emotional shopping list, transactional, held up to robotic rules and devoid of the ability to flow and bend with intuition and intimacy in the moment
It has always disturbed me when people act like no one can announce pregnancies at weddings. I mean obviously you should not steal a mic and do an official announcement, but sharing around that good news with others at a joyous occasion is wonderful. If I found out a family member was pregnant at my wedding, I’d have been even more overjoyed. It’s not a fucking attention competition, and people can be happy about multiple things!
The weddings sub can be an immensely unhinged place. Weddings are stressful, I give a little slack, but I shamefully love to gawk the posters who are losing the plot entirely.
Yeah and the comment with the best advice, which is… if you want free babysitting Jayden is gonna have to go to church… gets absolutely shredded by the rest of the commenters lmao
It's not even that bad to go to church with your grandparents as a child! I did it. I was bored 90% of the time, and otherwise I was badly belting out hymns. ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND BEYOOOTIFUL, ALL CREATURES GREAT AND SMAAAAaaaalll
I once recommended a bar to some out-of-towners in my local subreddit, then somebody else chimed in to "warn" them that they'd be stopping in there on trivia night, and offered insanely neurotic advice on how to prepare themselves for the overstimulation.
You what now
what the hell lmfao
The overstimulation advice is classic undersocialized man-child, but I'll concede that the warning about trivia night is useful if you're expecting to casually shoot the shit with friends over a few drinks and wind up having to fit your conversation around the MC talking and teams trying to hear the clues.
Somewhat related but every time I search for advice for something I have to scroll through the dozens of comments of people doing their standup routine. If you search for something like "how to get rid of spiders in your car" every comment is something along the lines of "burn it" or "buy a new car"
everybody is trying to be a comedian on this site
only way to fix this is turning your reddit upside down and shaking it out
Every hobby subreddit is filled with midwits who care more about regurgitating unqualified advice than the hobby itself. Any expert who chimes in with hopes of enlightening the less educated is immediately downvoted for going against the hive mind. Facebook is unironically a superior platform.
I met a guy like this in real life at the gym. Called himself “a gear head” and was confused since I thought he meant steroids. But he said he loved lifting equipment lol. The dude was constantly injured and mediocre.
I really think Facebook groups are better than Reddit in terms of the vibes. Probably because people have their real names attached. I wish Facebook hadn’t become so shitty cuz it really was the best social medium.
It’s honestly still pretty fun you just can’t be quite as unhinged as you want because there’s the always the threat of the screenshot share with ur name
Does Facebook now have nicknames? Whenever I look at my city's community groups a lot of the posts are now by users named "CuriousPanda23" or "HumerousGiraffe145" or some shit.
In the shitty local city groups every time someone uses the anonymous posting feature they’re flooded by “WHY ARE YOU POSTING ANONYMOUSLY WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO HIDE DO YOU EVEN LIVE HERE ARE YOU ICE?”
If profile aliases become the norm it would ruin what value FB groups have.
There was an AskReddit answer about clubbing that used to be mocked all the time on the soccer sub.
The advice was, if you were an awkward guy, to make yourself the center of the party. You should, on your own, approach large groups of people, high-five them, maybe buy them shots and say shit like "HOW GREAT IS THIS GUY HUH?" and everybody would be their friend because they were so cool and vibing.
You'd probably get told to fuck off or laughed at if you tried to do that.
Uhhhhhh that’s painful
I’ve definitely experienced dudes at parties obviously putting on a “party persona” that they honed off of YouTube. It’s so fucking odd. My old move was to just do like 4-6 shots with them in 15 minutes and watch em go blackout lol
Mark the mint man / Doublemint Dave maxxing
Recommending men without children to get a vasectomy, with the pretense of "it's reversible though"
Snip snap
i got a vasectomy so i can bust nuts and still retain my life force.
come again?
…does it work?
No, doesn't work like that
what's the problem?
Vasectomies aren't necessarily reversible. The failure rate of reverting them is high enough that it should be treated as a one way procedure.
Any post that insist they break up because there’s always someone better when that just isn’t true most of the time.
Saw a post where OP was a woman in her 50’s dating a somewhat spergy but nice guy also in his 50’s, they had a disagreement due to his spergyness. All of the comments were pushing her to break up with him because “there is someone better for you out there” ignoring the fact that both of them were single for 10+ years before dating each other and that they genuinely loved each other despite their innocuous disagreements. And of course every time she politely responded that she loves this man and he loves her and she wants to work things out, the responses are always the snarky “Well I guess you just want to be miserable sweetie. Don’t know what to tell you.” Edit: Forgot to mention people were telling her “Is this really how you want to spend the last years of your life, in this relationship?” Like wtf she’s not 85. Also how is she so aged as to be staring down the last years of her life but also totally able to just pick up a better relationship wtf
Saw another post of a woman with advanced cancer detailing some other lighthearted disagreement with her husband. Cue all the seething responses urging her to divorce him, who was essentially her caretaker, because there’s “someone better”. Not to be a downer but, really? She can find someone better while battling a likely fatal disease? It’s so bleak, you almost wonder if the average redditor is some kind of sadist.
The underlying theme of all Reddit advice is that the good things in life are easy to get, so don’t worry too much and just be generally nice.
Telling old married people to drop their spouse of 10+ years because “There’s someone better out there for you”.
Telling an 18 year old facing homelessness to “Learn to code”.
Telling a 30 year old virgin to “Just treat women like people”.
These all assume that the cause of everyone’s troubles is either
A: a slight error in technique that they’re too stupid to realize or
B: the result of some kind of moral failing and that their problem is well deserved. Bad things only happen to bad people.
It amazes me that this site is mostly atheists because the optimism and moralism you find here is typically reserved only for the most devoutly religious.
Yes exactly. “Um it’s called being a decent fucking person!” Meanwhile their conception of decency excludes any behavior requiring self sacrifice or extending the fellow man any semblance of grace.
Telling a 30 year old virgin they just need to treat women like people is unbelievably common and teeth-grittingly stupid. That ignores about a million different complex subtle variables at play in someone's personality, demeanor, confidence level, body language, looks, and general mental health and just makes it about some naive utopian ideal of 'if you're genuine and kind everything else ceases to matter'. And if you still have problems well, maybe deal with your crushing sense of inadequacy from long term trauma/rejection/avoidant personality disorder/depression and the subsequent isolation it's pushed you into by I dont know, going to a board game night?? Because for some reason redditors cant accept that some people just do struggle and you can't wipe that struggle away with a one liner
There was a post recently about how it's basically over for spergs because they can't even begin to properly understand the advice given to them. This comment reminded me of it
‘It amazes me that this site is mostly atheists because the optimism and moralism you find here is typically reserved only for the most devoutly religious.’
Nietzsche was right about everything
Play Tetris
I've started replying to these people with a "hey friendo!" post and saying that Science has shown that any Clair Obscur and Donkey Kong Bonanza work too.
what about dr mario?
Causes immediate acid flashback
Almost anything to do with relationships. Hard line stances on 'red flags', cutting ties on your 20 year marriage at the drop of a hat because your spouse forgot to bring the mail in.
I always assume anyone asking for relationship advice on Reddit has already decided to break up / divorce / call the police on their partner and is just looking for validation, because how can you not know that’s what you’ll be told to do
95% of those regarded posts can be answered with the advice “talk to them about it”.
my favorite was the one about the woman whose husband made a bad sandwich and all the comments were like "this is a reflection of how he will care for you in old age"
This is actually tame I've seen literally tiny relationship issues be turned into a call the police and to a safe place with an overnight bag
My absolute favorite was when a woman said her husband pulled a gross prank on her, like idk peeing in her bath or something dumb. She was mad and he was laughing and it took him a while to apologize.
People were all this is disgusting, a deep atrocious violation and tbh!??? Abuse. This is full on abuse and you need to GET OUT of there before he harms you and your child, a man who thinks this is funny and disregards your genuine distress and suffering is an abusive pos, girl DIVORCE him yesterday!
The really nasty ones are also when the OP describes some relationship issue and then doesn't immediately denounce the person and agree with the comments. These hysterical freaks will downvote and pile the fuck onto them for showing a hint of nuance or defending the culprit and say the most foul things about a stranger
That’s my default advice but I’m avoidant
Having an intense manic episode? Contact your ex and tell them your every thought!
They framed it as like 'communication is healthy', like there aren't exceptions to that.
it's a nerdier (and gayer) response than anyone here wants
but people on the drumming related subs, who preach anti-intellectual jargon about the instrument to all the kids there. they'll go on these tangents about how simple grooves are the most important thing cause they can't play anything else. clipping wings before mfs learn to fly. trying to put an end to progress on the instrument, all out of sheer bitterness + a need to feel sage-like
there's no shortage of nice dudes who can keep a beat, and drive their band's gear around. they're comfortable with not reinventing the wheel, and don't put much pride or passion in their "art". teens on this site could be posting about how to be the best fortnite player. tell them how to progress as a musician ffs
I don't know man, clearly some people need to hear this advice. I have a friend who spends all his time when he plays the drums practicing and drilling playing the double bass pedal as fast as possible, but he's unable to keep a beat and do a fill without going out of time. I told him that he should go to a drum instructor I had gone to, a guy in his '60s, and he fired the drum instructor and went back to practicing on his own without advice because the guy that was teaching him didn't know and didn't care about really fast really technically complicated, double bass playing. This isn't something that I can legitimately talk to my friend about because if I give him the advice to work on basic timing, I think I'll be violating reason for him playing at all. Yet he still feels like he gets drum-cucked if we go to a friend's house that has drums in the basement and then I take over after him. If he learns the grooves really well, he would be able to incorporate the stuff that he wants to do a lot sooner.
I more have an issue with advising novices that music begins with Ringo Starr, and ends with Michael Jackson's tight session drummers. yk guys on subs with no distinct feel, using their "feel" as an excuse to suck, while bringing nothing new to the table
I think your buddy is just trying to play grindcore or something: fast, usually kinda sloppy, but that's how they like it. old dudes can have a lot of wisdom, without having their left foot chops up to speed. it's an uncommon skill for guys who are in their 60s. that's no reason to throw em in the trash. iirc, Neil Peart wasn't exactly a double kick virtuoso either. this guy might've been able to rip some prog rock tunes tight as hell, but your friend didn't even care to see that
there are also technical metal players out there with fast and sloppy feet, yet their hands are solid as hell. when playing live, it's solid blasting and breakdowns (sometimes with a click in their ears) but the kick drum sound is just a barrage of bass. it can add a really cool feel to a set. and your friend will have to get his hands tight, for people to take him as seriously as he takes himself
but that's just my two cents
No limb should be sloppy
Yeah my first drum teacher was like this. I came to him as an adult wanting to learn after having spent many years successfully playing a different instrument, so it's not I was one of those kids who will get scared away if you start them on dry rudiments. Ended up realizing I was doing most of the work teaching myself on Youtube and realizing things weeks later than he should have noticed immediately.
Most people can be up to speed playing bar rock beats with sloppy fills on a kit in a couple weeks. The whole point of taking lessons or looking for information online is to start developing skills to push past that early plateau.
Another gripe I have about drum advice givers is that people will ask them a simple question, and they'll respond "there's no one right way to do it." It could be whether to use trad or matched grip, whether to pivot on index or middle finger, how high to have your hi-hats, what tom arrangement and cymbal setup you should start with, etc. It's true that for those, there's mostly no right way to do it. But, for example, if I want to learn to play straight ahead jazz, an answer to the last one is 12" rack tom, 14" floor tom, 14" snare, 16-18" bass drum, light hi-hats, two crashable ride cymbals (one with a rivet or sizzler) higher than normal and more tilted toward you than normal. Because if you want into any normal jazz jam, odds are, you are going to play on a kit very very similar to what I just described, so you should have experience practicing on one like it.
well said!
"Another gripe I have about drum advice givers is that people will ask them a simple question, and they'll respond "there's no one right way to do it."
there's a lot of that. like I'll add my disclaimers: "__________ worked for me. why not try it out? It may sound crazy because xyz, but still do it!"
Every once in a while someone on here will get uppity about having made friends through school or childhood like everyone else and will suggest that the people coming on to Reddit to ask how to make friends because they haven’t made one in their entire adult life go to a bar or club or something and just start having random conversations with strangers who will all be completely open to some random guy coming in and talking to them. It’s not the worst advice in the world in isolation but to pull this off without everyone thinking you’re an insane person requires a very high level of charisma that would result in you not finding yourself in a situation where you’re asking how to make friends online
Exactly, if you can fix it with a few tweaks and a hobby you'd never be in that situation to begin with. People are alarmingly stupid about the effects of essentially lifelong rejection, loneliness, mental illness and especially being ugly, they get angry that people are genuinely lost thinking about how to even begin fixing it - it's just an attitude problem! Maybe if you were NICE and went out and kept trying your entire history of self hatred will magically melt off you and no one will ever know and find you uncomfortable and weird! I know a couple people who've been alone and rejected for a long time and it does things to you that the average person just can't understand
They’ll understand people like us
Someone asking a rec for a drip percolating coffee machine a hundred dollars or under and a user recommending they save up for an almost $400 mocchamaster.
This happens in every enthusiast space. Someone will say they've been doing research and have narrowed their choices down to two pieces of gear, and someone will respond with something like "neither, get this third, more expensive option instead you rube".
You're right and it's genuinely my biggest pet peeve.
It’s so frustrating how they legitimately consider themselves above giving budget options half the time. My mom wanted a projector for Christmas and my budget was $200, which I thought was decent enough.
Every thread I found at best recommend a used model of some fancy brand which would still be $100 over budget. Beyond that they legitimately talked like they’d be breaking some code of ethics by recommending a cheaper projector. Like they were fucking doctors recommending medicine or mechanics recommending oil brands or something.
Even on fucking r/BudgetProjectors thr cheapest deal on their black friday thread was $270. Fuck off! “Budget” does not mean “a little more of your tech paycheck left over for funko pops”
I get both sides of it. There is a LOT of premade ewaste out there and for some product types anything below a certain price is just junk. If you're trying to go budget friendly picking up used stuff for a fraction of the price is usually the move.
It always makes me sad when I stop and think about the fact that there are factories everywhere that take in useful raw materials and output garbage
I get that, but I don’t think that’s the case with projectors. I wound up talking with a friend who works for a community event center which apparently uses a projector for some of their events.
Turns they just picked one up from a big box realtor, and it’s within my budget. If I had to guess it will be up to the task of occasionally playing movies on the wall in my mom‘s bedroom for the rest of her (hopefully long!) life.
There’s truth to the fact that cheaping out can cost more money in the long run, but 99% of the time Redditors use durability as a pretense to blow money on fancy shit with min-maxxed specs.
You can rent projectors from the library btw. At least, I’m able to at mine
The “learn a trade” meme has some serious caveats that people don’t always consider. I’ve worked plenty of jobs in the trades, some have been great and others have been awful. If you’re willing to grind and eat shit for a few years, it can pay off. But you have to be smart about it and make sure you’re at a decent place.
At any rate, it’s going to be a lot of hard work and manual labor. It can be tough to make much money unless you either own your own shop or are in a union, which conveniently never seems to be mentioned by the “learn a trade” people.
Also no one ever brings up that saying “learn a trade” to a young woman is basically saying “get ready to be sexually harassed at work regularly and repeatedly for the next several years.” Every single woman I know who works a trade, even the ones doing less traditionally “rough” dude jobs like movie industry stuff, has told me about being sexually harassed at work a lot. Even my super butch friend
Every legal advice thread about divorce tries to get OP to get her soon to be ex fired
Dumbass if they get fired they won’t have money for child support and alimony
I see posts on parenting subreddits every so often where someone shares that their child has been diagnosed with a severe, life changing illness or disability and there's a bunch of redditors who clearly have no experience of that disease assuring the OP that their child who is paralysed/blind/brain damaged is going to live a 100% totally normal life.
I get really annoyed how on subs dedicated to medical issues the top comment will always be “go to the doctor.” Like, isn’t the whole point of the sub to give some insight on what might be going on here?
If you’re a subject matter expert in anything it’s also consistently funny going on reddit because people are always very far off the mark.
“Local kink scene” makes me feel sick to my stomach
from what i know it's all really fat people and they're all 🚂s
That’s what I assume, as well. Usually, at least as it appears to me, certain groups really enjoy the kink community as they favor “quantity” over “quality.” I would genuinely be shocked if there were more than a handful of conventionally attractive people without mental issues.
i think there's an obvious reason for why so many "trans" do the kink thing...
but guys, it's totally not just autogynephilia gone wild
anytime in a job-related thread when they say something like "you're there to work, not make friends" and basically advise being a weird antisocial loner at work. like obviously you don't have to become besties with these people, but i can't imagine being an environment where you refuse to at least shoot the shit or joke around with your coworkers
it makes me legitimately curious as to how they behave and are perceived in the office
I work with a guy like this, shows up, does his work, doesn't talk to anyone except one word responses to things you say to him "hey" " im good" "happy Friday too" .
Most people at my work HATE HIM with a passion. I just assumed he was autistic or some other kind of heavily neurodivergent. I still really don't understand why it offends normies so badly, but I try to be extra nice to the guy because they all treat him like the antichrist. He's a average amount of competent at his job.
It's one of the worst things to not be born a normie and a social butterfly. I feel for this guy as well since I'm also like him.
Just genuinely terrible career advice.
I am a generally competent employee, but you get so much further and are given so much more grace when people like you. My most important work skills are being funny, remembering people's names, and maintaining a jovial manner. Those things have gotten me more opportunities than any work I have ever done.
Even if you plain hate everyone you work with, being liked is a massive advantage for basically no effort.
Every single time I let my guard down and become friendly with coworkers it ends up bad for me. At this point my walls are up. As a gay man it is my right to lie to my coworkers about what I did over the weekend.
I work in a lib office and my gay coworker will always just tell me about how he did coke and banged x amount of guys over the weekend, I get that not everyone can have that luxury though
there's also no quicker way to make yourself miserable at work than to isolate yourself
I'll never forget the lady who had nearly two hundred houseplants in her apartment, and her boyfriend wanted them to move in together but wanted her to get rid of a bunch of plants beforehand so they wouldn't overcrowd their living space.
Of course, all of r/houseplants advice was to break up, since the boyfriend refused to compromise. Literally hundreds of people shrieking about how awful men are
To be honest, I would feel less of a sub dedicated to houseplants if they had come up with any other advice given the circumstances. I would also not date a woman with 200 plants in her house, or maybe I would, who am I kidding?
Liking a thing doesn't mean you have to be a complete spergy obsessive about it to the exclusion of normal every day compromise and convenience man
I remember this... IMO it gave pet hoarder vibes. From what I remember her space was actually cute from what you could see behind the plants, but that's the kind of behavior that gets worse over time.
All the advice in the teachers subreddit is about how to be the bitchiest teacher who students, colleagues, parents, and admin all hate because they sit at their desk all day and refuse to interact with anyone or do any work on principle.
Don’t understand why anyone would take advice about a highly social profession from the most antisocial people on the planet.
The majority of advice on Reddit about any profession is incredibly self centered and assumes you are an incredibly high performer at your job. I’m an accountant and there’s a lot of “here to work not to make friends.”
Being well liked is one of the most important parts of succeeding at your career. If your boss likes you and your coworkers like you, you’re probably going to be decently successful as long you aren’t a complete knob.
Yeah, the whole "don't make friends with your coworkers" thing that gets repeated on here so often is just depressing and truly bad advice. I've been self-employed for a long time now and friendships with coworkers are what I miss most about having a normal job! Doesn't hurt for networking, either.
I think most people think they’re better at their job than they are. I worked in public accounting and for every 10 employees, there was usually 1 ass kicker, 5-6 normal employees, and then 2-3 low performers. If you’re 1 of the 5-6 normal employees, being well liked and having senior managers or partners know who you are goes a long way.
Just in general, people are willing to go for bat for people they like. All else equal, the well liked person is getting the promotion because the manager knows them and knows they have a good working relationship.
You don't even have to be a high performer, you just have to make it look like you are a high performer. Slacking off in areas where you know there will be no consequences leaves energy for you to network and make people around the workplace like you
They'll call that "kissing ass", or what normal people call "not being an asshole".
Redditors looooove suggesting kintsugi any time someone posts a pic of a broken object asking how to repair it
even for shit like plastic plates. it’s so funny
Your parents have been brainwashed by covid/trump/transphobia - the emotional toll will become unbearable to you. Sever all ties with them since you won’t be able to deprogram them. Surely alienation will not push them deeper into this madness.
Going over what you want and willing to do beforehand in an email.
I have never met a woman that would find this anything but a turn off.
It's also the most lazy possible way to seduce a women, the I'm putting no effort into this at all.
email?
6 years ago someone told me with sincerity that I should break up with my current wife because her dog was annoying me
lol wow who would have guessed a brunch of socially maladjusted engineers and IT computer bros would give god awful advice
Haven’t seen the just walk away advice, though that is really, really funny. Honestly, if a guy did that to me, I would just think he was a nice gay man or something.
Reddits for normies now it’s not a niche website at all. The sad thing is due to phones the average person is like this
it is though
ask anyone at your work or school the mainstream ones are snapchat, insta, fb, yt, x, tiktok. i bet you no one tells you they're on reddit
I’ve honestly been surprised by how many normal people have reddit accounts
it's default a dirty little secret because every other website encourages real names
youd be surprised at how many normal, average BMI womxn ive met that use reddit for like clothes advice or snark subreddits
none would acknowledge it like they talk about what they saw on tiktok or instagram
Convincing a guy he was sexually abused as a child because he had a paranormal experience
I dont think i've ever see good dating advice on this site, its always shit like smile more, clean your window, put on a shirt
Idk if I've ever seen good dating advice ever. I think it's just a je ne se quoi type thing. It's all subconscious vibes. Following instructions will always cause you to fail.
its not even them giving an honest advice, its just them trying to make themselves feel better by "helping"
There was a big post in which an Asian woman was thinking of divorcing her husband because he didn't scold a person for doing fake Chinese ching chong type talk, and almost all the replies were telling her to do it.
I think it's real because she's made some low key posts later to r/Divorce asking for support through the divorce. Crazy shit.
I just got a new one:
A man posts that an old ex got back in touch with him, fresh out of her abusive relationship, and expressed that she is confused and struggling mentally and might want to get back together, but also needs space.
The advice: Put pressure on her to put a label on it.
Every time a woman in a domestic violence or abusive situation posts about their situation, she usually gets a lot of finger wagging about learning self respect. People in these situations usually already have no self-esteem, finger wagging on Reddit is only making things worse for them. They need actionable steps of what to do.
“Install a car seat when flying with infants and toddlers to protect them in case of turbulence, you are an irresponsible parent if you don’t do it”
No one does this in real life. Can’t imagine lugging around a car seat, hold an infant, and carrying a bag single handedly
People often bring car seats while traveling with children because they’ll have to use a car when they arrive wherever they’re going. The kid travels in the car seat around the airport and all until it’s put away on the plane, so the parent isn’t lugging them around in their arms the whole time.
To divulge everything to one's therapist. They will use everything you say against you eventually. They became emotional prostitutes because they weren't talented enough to do anything else, and they are so insecure about their station that they will inflict death by a thousand cuts on your ego and selfhood in order to feel better about themselves. Nobody actually respects therapists and it's for good reason.
is it really that bad? Idk most therapists I know are quite normal people. good people even
Someone on this sub once said "a lot of people go to school to become therapists because they are inherently incapable of naturally understanding other people's emotions and they wanted to go to school to learn" and that explanation really clicked with every therapist I ever had.
First was a pretty maybe 30ish lady whos advice for my incel highschooler angst was "don't be a prude, go on dates with people that ask you out you might like them" and didn't believe I was telling the truth when I said no one had ever asked me out. She literally could not comprehend not everyone has her life experience of being hit on constantly.
Second was an old man who spent more time talking about how great his life was and his home renovation projects than responding to me.
Third was a mid 20s gay man a little younger than me who was convinced the reason I am severely depressed is because I need to transition gender and become a woman, and stop repressing my kinks. (I don't have any kinks or autogynophelia, I was just depressed because my life fucking sucked, never said anything about gender dysphoria or even not liking myself)
lol i went to some hag therapist in my late teens as she was pushing the gay shit as well on me cause she couldn't think of another reason a young man would be depressed and isolated and then i google her shit and her entire academic work is on homosexuality
You gotta keep in mind the average Redditor is a depressed, obese 45 year old woman whose husband hates her.
This demographic loves therapists.
Modern therapy practices really are meant solely for women. 80% of therapists are female and they demonize male clients by default. The 20% of male therapists are split between sex pests and blatant hustlers.
Doesn't really seem to be working either.
This is usually true and I learned the hard way about 12 years ago. I’ve decided to try again, but made sure I picked a therapist who’s a white man over 40.
He seems alright so far
I’ve had some boring extremely forgettable therapists who didn’t do anything and I’ve had 2 great ones but none of them ever used everything I said against me lol, what? Are you going to war with all your therapists?
Men and women have fundamentally different experiences in therapy. Men are presumed guilty of the sins of their race from day one, and therapy is a process of them arguing their innocence. Even the male therapists dish out such treatment, but the female therapists especially do.
#2 is peak exemplary reddit
Told a friend with thinning hair that he should get a p close cut as this was recived reddit wisdom at the time. A mistake
Every time people have some petty dispute with their neighbor or whatever you inevitably get someone saying that you should call the police and report them for trespass because they stepped two feet onto your lawn without explicit permission or whatever
Another one that really gets under my skin is whenever wedding drama comes up and people default to, it's your wedding, invite or uninvite whoever you want. While that's true, it's completely socially inept to think you can just uninvite your mother in law or your cousin or whoever from your wedding without significant long-term social consequences and additional drama and thats not really an easy solution so much as a complicated decision that no one else could possibly make for you.
Can you please link to that jobs thread OP it sounds hilarious
This was literal years ago bro I’d have no idea how to find it.
Not specific but people really like to turn any acute thing into a chronic condition on here.
I had a pulmonary embolism years ago and there’s really no long term effects at all but one time I was googling something and some subreddit for “clot survivors” came up and it was full of so many people giving bad advice and feeling sorry for themselves.
man i don't want to talk about reddit here
Then go read one of the 50+ threads on this sub about the nuances of being an Asian guy on Grindr.
Sometimes it’s that simple
How was the second one Misogyny? If anything they were giving her too much credit?
Leaving a comment just to keep track of this post cus the comments are so funny.
As a cute girl who frequents coffee shops, I quite like the advice given to #3. That type of guy SHOULD find other online losers for hookups and leave me the hell alone.
What if I complement your earrings then walk away?
That one might work tbh
Downvoted for posting the truth. As a man who just doesn't attract women in my irl, I think it's better for incels to just be honestly told most women don't want anything to do with them, and nothing they can do will change that, than to be virtue signal lied to about all this "personality" "um women don't care about looks" bullshit by people who want to look holier than thou.
Of course, it's your right to refuse unwanted attention, but coffee shops have always been a place where it's considered acceptable to make polite conversation with strangers.