So turns out the rubber that holds the disk with friction to spin it was getting too old and slippery, so I slapped some hot glue in there like a mad man and pressed it down with an old burned CD.

I made sure to accidentally move the laser sensor on its rails by hand, thereby screwing with its calibration.

Shit works again. The redneck fairies were smiling down upon me.

Can now play Guitar Hero Metallica edition again while drinking knock off Monster 🤟