Being a cycle breaker comes with a mixed bag of emotions. Those who can relate know what I’m saying.
However, tonight my 10-year-old asked me, “Do you and Dad ever fight?”
Little did my mini-me realize, she just showed me that my efforts as the family cycle breaker are working!
I grew up with parents who fought daily. My mother is the uBPD/narcissist, and my dad is the loyal enabler. I am NC with them. I spent my life watching them fight, and listening to my mother belittle my father. It definitely rewired my brain as a child, but knowing that my kids will not have to do that work is the best Christmas gift ever!!!
Proud of you 😊 Merry Christmas !🎄
Thank you ☺️
My edad got humiliated and berated on his birthday last night, she didn't even let him eat the food we ordered. He was so meek, as a child that breaks me. I wonder what it would feel like to never see a fight between mom and dad, just healthy disagreements that don't break the house.
I recommend reading “Understanding the Borderline Mother” by Christine Ann Lawson. She explains the different types of BPD mothers and the types of men they marry. It’s helped me tremendously. I was always so triggered by the “helpless husband” trope. She explains how it may not look like it but a need is being met for him. Reading that my dad wasn’t the victim or hero I thought he was as a child was validating. I could only then allow myself to let go of saving him because he was a grown man allowing his children and himself to be berated.
Girl, we have almost identical stories. As a fellow cycle breaker, I know how hard it is, but it's also so amazing to see that it isn't touching your child. You're doing awesome!
I feel like 75% of the things I read in this group could’ve been written by me. It’s crazy, but so glad to hear you’re seeing positive results with your children too! 🥰
Good for you, that’s beautiful !!!!
Thank you!