Hi everyone! This is a long one so I’m sorry!
I really need some advice because I’m not quite for sure how to deal with this. To kinda give you some backstory. I am 27 years old and currently 11 weeks pregnant. We are so excited and we were looking forward to this very exciting journey. We have had two miscarriages one made it to about five weeks. The other one made it to about six weeks. I figured that the miscarriages were due to a lack of realizing that I was pregnant since we were doing quite a bit of partying during that part of our life. (And I had the contraceptive in my arm!)
Our OB had recommended us to go to a high risk specialist. I thought for sure we were going to the specialist because of the miscarriages, but turns out I was mistaken. We were immediately taken into a counseling room. This was definitely the last thing that me or my husband expected because it kind of felt like an interrogation room. 20 minutes go by and we are met with a counselor.
She starts going over my family history. I explained to her that I am adopted and the information that they have My biological mother may or may not be true. My biological mother had notoriously made up stories stating that she had leukemia or she had some form of cancer and I don’t know how true those are. Keep in mind. I know my biological family because my adopted family is actually my great aunt and my great uncle. She immediately started going into my husband side of the family.
All felt pretty normal until she started explaining to me that I would have to get blood thinner injections. This completely startled me and sent me back. I have a serious problem with needles and I know that’s kind of crazy, but I have a very hard time to where there is a possibility that I can faint and I can go into a seizure Just because I psych myself out so badly about needles. And trust me I know it’s crazy cause I have tattoos and several piercings. It doesn’t make sense. I stopped for a minute and I asked the doctor or the counselor or whatever she was that is.
She had informed me back in 2020 I had a PE (a pulmonary embolism). I was absolutely shocked and devastated that something that happened back in 2020 was now going to affect me during this pregnancy. I stopped for a minute as tears filled my eyes and I explained the situation to the counselor. I had explained to her that this was caused due to an operation that went wrong. I had a tonsillectomy back in 2020 and I was on birth control pills at the time. (Did not know that this is a big no no before surgery because NOBODY told me) I also informed her that whenever they did my tonsillectomy, they did not cauterize my throat correctly which ultimately led me to breathe in my own blood during the operation. This is what I had been told by the ER doctors nine days later whenever I ran into the ER because I felt like I was suffocating on my own blood. Turns out there were multiple small PEs found in my left lung and they were grouped together. The emergency room doctors couldn’t stop apologizing to me and immediately sent me over to a specialist at that hospital. I was put on blood thinners for six months and I was told afterwards that I was perfectly fine. I didn’t need to go back on blood thinners that this was most likely caused from the tonsillectomy and I don’t have to worry moving forward. I have had several procedures since then which would be my wisdom teeth removal. I had my appendix removed literally a year ago. And a few other exploratory and none of them ever worried about the “2020 pulmonary embolism”. Keep in mind the person who did my tonsillectomy completely wiped my bills from both his clinic, the emergency room, and even the Blood specialist due to malpractice, and he is no longer practicing.
At this point, she basically told me that it doesn’t matter because I had it now there’s a very high possibility that it will happen again so it’s better for me to just go on these injections. Whenever I tell you, I felt pressured and I ultimately started crying in that room and I know it’s so silly, but I was crying because I don’t want to make the wrong move and I don’t want to make a mistake. I don’t want any suffering to come to me or my child. But at the same time I don’t want to take something if I don’t need to. I was later told by a different doctor (same clinic in the same room) that if we did a blood test to see if I was not prone to clotting, he would be completely fine with me not doing the injections at all. We did the blood test and it came back negative, so I am not at risk for a clotting disorder. I had just received a letter from this counselor going to my OB stating that I have gone against their recommendations for this injection and it gives my OB a list of things that they have to do whenever I go into delivery because apparently there is a greater risk of me, throwing a clot in a whole bunch of other scary stuff. What bothered me even more is she stated that she went over the risk of the injection with me. This was never gone over with me at all and there’s a lot of scary stuff on there if I take the injection too. And please trust me, me and my husband would have remembered that.
I think I just need advice from other people Instead of a counselor who sounded like a sales person/somebody who’s guilty you for being an unreasonable person.
Even while she was talking to me and my husband, she kept making comments about the fact that I’m against medication and all this other kinds of stuff that made me feel awful. I’m not against medication. I’m just against taking something that I don’t need. But once again I want to do what’s right for my child and for me. And I just don’t know how to explain anymore how I feel.
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I'm going to assume you're in the Irish system as you've cross posted there?
At the end of the day it's your body and your choice. They can't make you take anything you aren't willing to take and they won't. If you're not happy with your care at any time for any reason I would always suggest changing it. Hopefully you're Dublin based so you'll have more options open to you. At a minimum, I think you need to discuss this whole scenario with another healthcar provider. Either your GP or your midwives during your booking appointment.
As not a medical professional but as someone who's had reoccurring miscarriages and a successful pregnancy in the Irish system, what is being suggested is fairly standard. I've taken both aspirin and blood thinner injections at various points during pregnancy and post partum. I was also negative for any blood clotting disorders. From what I can remember as it was explained to me, a percentage of miscarriages are caused by insufficient blood flow between mammy and baby via the placenta. Blood thinners can help prevent that miscarriage from reoccurring. Between your previous two losses and your medical history your medical practitioner has decided that the medical course for the progression of this pregnancy at this time is blood thinners. But like I said, you don't have to take anything you don't want to, and worth discussing if there are any other options available to you.
What I would add though is that it does sound like you have some medical trauma. Pregnancy (for me at least) amplified a lot of other things in my life so I would gently suggest that you consider speaking to someone about it all if you can as pregnancy is such a vulnerable time in your life.
Finally I think long term viewing your medical team as 'sales people' won't be very helpful for you. Maybe you only used this term to convey how you felt about being pushed into something you don't want, but we're really lucky in Ireland that all medical treatment for pregnancy is completely free and all medication is capped under the drugs payment scheme so you'll only ever pay a maximum of €80 a month. That medical professional won't get a cut or benefit in any way from putting you on blood thinners and we're so lucky in this country that that is the case. At the end of the day the medical professionals are going to suggest the course of action that statistically will have the best outcome for your pregnancy. You can rationalise the reasons for your previous miscarriages or why you think your previous medical history shouldn't impact this pregnancy but they would be negligent to ignore it too. They aren't suggesting blood thinners for their own gain. But by not following the their advice it also doesn't mean you can't and won't have a successful pregnancy.
Very best of luck to you, I hope it all goes so well ❤️
I would have a conversation with your OB about the blood test you just did to confirm you do not have a clotting disorder. I also strongly recommend you get a second opinion.
You aren’t overreacting. Some medical professionals are really pushy and biased about things. If your OB becomes really pushy about this you may also want to consider changing OB’s.
My cousin had a really bad interaction with her OB in her third trimester which coloured the relationship, and when she was 38 weeks along she switched OB’s and had an amazing birth.
My mom’s OB brought her and my dad into a room with her first pregnancy and tried to pressure her into getting an abortion because she had chicken pox in her first trimester. Anyway, my older brother is 35 now and is one of the healthiest and most intelligent and driven people I know.
Take inspiration from my mom and my cousin: trust your gut, and don’t let a doctor or medical professionals bully you.
Where did you have this happen?? If you live in a city, I'd go with a different hospital altogether - if they're already pushing you and lying in your letters at 11w, I wouldn't expect a good experience at all with them. You cross posted in the Irish pregnancy sub so I assume you live in Ireland, maybe speak with your GP about your options? Or post on the Ireland sub about where you're located and what your options might be
Well, I will tell you something as someone who was been diagnosed with gestational diabetes when I was 24 weeks pregnant.
I needed to completely change my diet + check my blood sugar 3x daily + doing walks and exercise to maintain the sugar levels.
All that was to make sure that my little boy is going to be fine — and let me tell you — for him I’d do anything!
Even though I am only diet managed GD — I’d go with any kind of medication if I know it will help him as well.
People in the comments here might be against the injections that OB mentioned — but the thing that really matters is how is that going to affect your baby.
As someone already mentioned — go privately to another OB or even few and get another opinions and options if you are not happy with this one.
There is no point of feeling sad or shocked or helpless — you need to react if you are totally unhappy with what your OB is offering at the moment.
Just be prepared that she might be right tho — that might really be the best for you and most importantly, for your baby.
Good luck!