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Around 2 months your baby will start to make eye contact, smile at you, and coo at you. You will feel so warm and happy everytime you see that beautiful smile. It’s a sign of safety and comfort.

Also you will sleep better (even in shorter spurts), showers will feel better, and your first PP date night will feel amazing.

The most beautiful love you’ve ever felt is on the way! Don’t get bogged down in the terrible details. You’ll have enough of that when you’re going through it.

I just gave birth 2 weeks ago and a few things have happened…

My marriage is stronger than it ever was - I fell in love with my body after doing a natural home birth and feel my stretch marks are forever reminders of how powerful we as women are - I have watched more movies and done little crafts and art more in the last 2 weeks than I have in months - I have a beautiful baby girl who has changed my life forever.

Sure sleep is limited and my nipples hurt and I got mastitis, yes, but I gave and I am giving life to this baby and I am LOVING every second of it and I would not change a damn thing, even the hard stuff.

I was told my life would suck by almost everyone and gosh were they wrong. I hope you have can take one day at a time and be happy because that’s what you deserve, not all the negativity BS. You got this mama.

For a lot of women though, this is the reality. It hasn’t been for me. But we don’t listen to the mommy wars on social media. We do what works for our family (like sleep training) and my husband and I are a team. 

I’m currently pregnant with my second baby—my first is 14 months. And we’ve had a GREAT year. I had an elective c-section so no tearing or complications. Healed very well. Breastfeeding came easy for me. I jumped into working out as soon as I was cleared and lost 40lbs in 6 months. No stretch marks. Stomach never came back 100% but I got it pretty close and am confident I’ll finish snapping back after this baby. 

My marriage is fine. We have sex regularly. My husband gives me the space to workout every morning and takes the baby in the evening. We have a very good routine. I’ve made some great new mom friends and we do stuff with our babies all the time. I’m enjoying my life! 

We are a little poor though lol. Mostly because I’m a SAHM. But we’re not living in poverty. Just budget us tight. But it’s OK! My baseline happiness is as high as it’s ever been. 

I’m excited to do it all over again!!! 

There's nothing like the feeling you get every time your child's face lights up when they see you. Always great them with a smile. To then, your are their everything!

Currently 37 wks 4 days, ftm!

I'm excited to know that I'll get to love our baby, the way I wanted to be love growing up as a child.

The house I grew up in was full of anger, hatred and a bunch of toxicity.

So more than anything giving baby boy all the unconditional love 🩵

There's a lot of things with pregnancy and motherhood which can be scary because of the uncertainty until we go through it. My hubby gets me through it when I feel even the slightest bit of doubt.

But you are creating a beautiful being out of love and it's an amazing thing.

You're going to have a wonderful family,

You got this momma ✨️

I’m 21 weeks; ftm. I’ll share what my mom told me when I expressed being nervous when baby comes and I’m tired: “Yes; you will be tired. But it’s magical. There was a moment where your dad and I were just watching you sleep. And I said “oh my gosh; we made this!” It was so magical. You and [my husband] will have a moment where you’re like “we made this. We did this.”

I’m actually going to put a positive spin on all of this. ⁠

• You’re not gonna be able to sleep when the baby comes - your sleeping changes, but you can have contact naps with your baby and you get to slow down and rest (heck you’re almost forced to, oh noooooo..) and just sit with your little one. • ⁠breast feeding is going to suck - actually it’s super bonding and beautiful. Yeah, like most things it’s not easy, but I feel like it connected my baby and I so much and allowed us to have little moments together. Also, you’re always packing food, which is a plus! • ⁠Your body is not gonna be the same, stretch marks, loose skin, saggy boobs, hemorrhoids, etc. - your body is never going to be the same, but it never was for more than a few years. Your body CARRIED A CHILD. Of course it’s not going to be the same, but I actually love my boobs more than I did beforehand, and now I love my body because I’m glad I’m not pregnant (didn’t last long, but still) • ⁠Postpartum is going to absolutely suck physically and emotionally - I honestly had a renewed sense of energy because it wasn’t the same thing I was enduring or waiting on. It’s hard, but a different difficult, and just like you’re figuring out your new one, you get to figure out life as a new family. • ⁠Birth will be painful - hormones make you forget the worst of it, and I STILL talk about “wow I can’t believe my body did that!” • ⁠Birth complications such as tearing, hemorrhage - yes, that happens, but A. People have been doing this for a LONG time and B. You’re surrounded by at least ONE person that’s a professional (depending how you birth) and they’re trained on knowing what to do even when you have no clue how to handle the situation. You get to be confident because they get paid to help lol • ⁠Your marriage isn’t going to be the same - no, because you’re inviting a new one in, and as long as you don’t expect it to NOT change, and you allow it to shift and grow, it’s actually so wonderful. Honestly (not everyone’s experience) sex was more enjoyable AFTER I had kids. Weird. • ⁠You’re never gonna have time for yourself - your brain is going to be thinking constantly of the little one after, even if you do get time alone, so just know that something you get to do is rediscover yourself post baby. What makes you feel like you? When you have tidbits of time, what makes you feel alive and happy? I had to make a list of my hobbies! • ⁠it’s going to be financially challenging - yes, but so is life in general. Budget, find out what you need to do to make it work, and then work within that. We cut out a lot that we didn’t need to spend, and when we look back, it’s like “how did we ever spend that much?” If it’s not like that, you’ll adjust and find out what works best for your family. I love thrifting baby clothes, so that’s been cheap AND enjoyable.

People always have something negative to say, but there’s also usually a flip side to that too that isn’t always acknowledged! You’ve got this, there’s a reason our family is on #3.

Just looking forward to holding my baby. IVF and infertility was so awful and I never thought it would actually work. I just can’t wait to hold my miracle and am thankful for my pregnancy

I do my best to ignore all that commentary, click not interested on any tik tok/ IG videos that are negative. It can all suck your mind dry and I remember to take social media breaks. For every 100 negative videos I feel like there is 1 positive one. I’m honestly over the conversation and just ready to experience it myself

There’s little that compares to the feeling of having your child melt into you because they feel safe and comforted. Or watching them peacefully sleep in your arms knowing they’re only this little once. This time with them is so precious.

The first time they smile at you, like really smile that gummy little smile, because you’re their favorite person in the world is life changing. 

Even those really hard, sleepless nights when you’re yawning feeding your baby, you’re awake with millions of parents around the world caring for their child under the same stars. 

The community of motherhood is unlike anything I have ever experienced. In a fit of desperation, I posted on my instagram story that my baby was hard to soothe and I was exhausted. I’ve never ever heard from so many people with messages of support and guidance. Once you’ve had a child, you understand how to show up for new parents in a way that I couldn’t comprehend before I had a baby.

It’s hard. It’s really, really hard. But it’s so worth it. 

I asked almost this exact same question a few months ago. I received so many positive responses! https://www.reddit.com/r/Mommit/s/OARzqAZHCE

Honestly the only things of those that you can’t really escape unless you chose epidural is 5, 6, and MAYBE the last one. You are gonna have some difficult moments here and there where it tests your relationship but all of those other things is solely based on how you go about it and your support system. Because let’s be honest, nobody ever sat through an unmediated birth and said they didn’t feel a thing. As far as the other one not everyone experiences that. I can totally see how that can be annoying or scary to hear but it is realistic. But the rest I honest to god I could shove a brick in some people’s mouth over.

PP was far from worse than the actually pregnancy, I actually really improved my life pp. and really up until 3-4 months if you aren’t able to take time to yourself, for your marriage, and to rest then you should take a breather and reevaluate your daily plans. If you work it can be a little emotionally demanding to be a new parent and still taking care of your responsibilities all at once but that’s where your support system comes in. If your partner isn’t adjusting to being a parent with you then it may be a little difficult. One thing I say a lot is, “it’s a baby not a cup.” It may not be YOUR cup of tea but it’s still a cup of tea you can make in different ways. When I stopped trying to be super mama and listening to everybody else it got drastically better. Good luck to you mama.

I'm 4.5 weeks postpartum. I know this isn't everyone's experience, but I had unicorn pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum experiences. Some nausea first trimester, but I only actually puked 5 times. Had heartburn 2-3 times total. I only had trouble sleeping if I didn't take my unisom. Usually only had to get up once to pee at night. Max twice. I worked as a bedside nurse with no restrictions up until I went into labor. Hell I recaulked my tub 2 days before I went into labor. Only stretch marks I got during pregnancy are minimal on my hips. I did get some on my breasts after my milk dried up. Also minimal.

And then, I had a fantastic labor and delivery. My water broke spontaneously at home, but I didn't start having contractions. I got started on pitocin and literally didn't feel a goddamn thing until I had been on it for 7 hours and it was running at 12 despite monitors showing I was having frequent, long contractions. I was literally in transition when I started feeling anything. I only started feeling contractions because I completely lost the rest of my bag of waters at that time. I got a fabulous epidural at 9cm that worked perfectly. I had two 1st degree tears. Total amount of time I was actually in pain was like max an hour.

My healing is going really well besides some granulation tissue. I felt mostly normal at 2 weeks. And now I just have a bit of a pouch on my tummy and wider hips, but I'm still 10lbs up from my pre pregnancy weight.

My baby is so good. No issues sleeping in the pack n play. She sleeps for 4-6 hour stretches overnight. She's EFF, and we do shifts at night. I regularly get 6-8 hours of sleep at night.

This week when I came home from picking up takeout and she was screaming in my dad's arms. I picked her up, and she immediately settled. It was insanely rewarding. She hears me across the room, and she turns her head towards me. She recognizes me. Best of all, newborn cuddles are unmatched. We were undecided if we'd have kids for a long time. But I regularly think I'm so glad we decided to have a baby.

All that to say, everyone has extremely different experiences. So you could have an easy as hell experience compared to others! I was scared to give birth and to tear or hemorrhage. But my whole experience since I peed on a stick has mostly been chill as hell.

Ugh second this! Currently pregnant and seems like everyone is complaining how hard it is to be Mom in society today 😔

I was getting a haircut and my male hairdresser said "you're not prepared for how much love and joy you'll feel. It's unlike anything you'll ever feel in your life." and it was so nice to hear because everyone else has been so negative!

Seeing your first hit various milestones is quite special.

Also, little kids say the most hilarious things.  I always enjoyed that part.

Thank youuuuuu for this post. Everyone can be so negative sometimes and it’s hard to find the good. I appreciate this so much.

Breastfeeding is different for everyone but since it seems like we only hear the negatives, I loved it! I had no problems producing and loved the bonding with my baby. Not everyone has a good experience, but it isn't always bad! Yes it hurt at first but that went away pretty quickly once my nipples got used to it and baby figured out a good latch.

My marriage 6 month in to having a baby is absolutely wonderful I love my husband even more after seeing him be an amazing father. I had a c section and recovery was very easy for me and I’ve been super lucky and PP has honestly went really great for me. I honestly don’t have any complaints. Watching your baby grow and start to smile and giggle and really turn into a little human is absolutely so amazing. The love I have for her I something I didn’t know I could feel. It’s absolutely the most amazing thing in the entire world to have this little person half you and half your significant other and just to love someone so much. My heart burst every time she smiles at me. I have lived 30 years so far and these past 6 months have been the absolute best of those.

Of course there has been hard days and exhausting nights, but having her and all the amazing things that come along with her and loving her have made up for it 100 times over. It’s a type of love I didn’t know existed.

I’m 20 weeks and the same. I had to take a social media break because everything was either perfectly curated motherhood or absolute doom & gloom and neither are helpful. I can relate. 💕

You’ll have a new appreciation for your body once you meet your baby. Like yes momma, YOU did that. All that. You made that baby and brought it into this world.

Their little smiles as newborns when they fart or poop on you. Just… ignore the smell for a minute and take in those toothless reflex smiles. Then go change them.

The faces they make when they’re having active sleep - ohhh my goodness I live for it. Almost makes you not miss sleep getting to see those faces they make.

Then they start purposely smiling at you when they’re a few months old. And start giggling. And cooing. And their personality starts to shine.

Then they start holding and trying to play with toys, they’ll smack themselves in the face with it and look at the toy like wtf, because it was clearly the toys fault.

When they start purées, they get soooooo excited over all the new flavors and tastes - and the funny sour faces they make when they try peas or green beans for the first time.

There’s definitely so much good when you have a baby, but it’s all the small things that are often so easy to over look when you’re tired and overwhelmed. But there are positives, and you will see and experience them. And this is coming from someone who has MDD regularly, plus other mental health issues, and got really bad PPD both times with both kids as well. And it’s like this for basically forever. My kids are almost 6 and 3, and yes, there’s a lot of stress and problems that comes at these ages, but there’s also so much good and fun too. I can vouch on my moms behalf it’s the same even when your kids are adults, because I’m 25 and my brother is 22, and we still give her a hard time sometimes lol but there’s also a lot of good times.

Having a newborn is hard, but it's better than being pregnant!!

Those first few weeks/months/year is the hardest but also the best year of your life.

• You’re not gonna be able to sleep when the baby comes - Instead you will be up in the middle of the night cuddling the most perfect human you have made
• breast feeding is going to suck - And is a wonderful way you can bond with your baby, but if you can't do it fed is best and bottles means hubby gets to spend that special time with bub too.
• Your body is not gonna be the same, stretch marks, loose skin, saggy boobs, hemorrhoids, etc. - instead your body bears the scars of the biggest act of love you can do. It grew and carried your precious child. Those strech marks, loose skin, saggy boobs are signs that your body grew the precious baby in your arms.
• Postpartum is going to absolutely suck physically and emotionally. - Your body has just gone through huge changes and needs some time to rest and heal, be gentle with yourself and proud of what you have done.
• Birth will be painful - coming from someone who had hypertonic contractions and is goinng for number 3, birth is painful but so incredibly worth it. That moment when baby comes out and they put them on your chest everything melts away.
• Birth complications such as tearing, hemorrhage - maybe they will happen, maybe they won't. Talk to your medical provider, come up with a plan you feel comfortable with. Trust your body and trust your team.
• Your marriage isn’t going to be the same - in the best way. You get to watch each other become parents. Watching my husband be a dad is the most wonderful gift. Yes it can be challenging as it can be harder to get alone time but it also means we are so much more intentional about the time we get and it is wonderful.
• You’re never gonna have time for yourself - It is harder to find that time for yourself but between naps, hubby, grandparents, aunts and uncles, trusted friends, make a village. You will find time. But also some days it doesn't matter, you may be exhausted, and overstimulated but you just watched your baby smile, coo, say "i love you', stand, clap, take first steps, learn to ride a bike etc. and it makes it al worth it.
• it’s going to be financially challenging - Be smart with your money. My kids wardrobes are almost exclusively second hand, friends, cousins, op shops and mostly facebook marketplace. I have spent very little on clothes, shoes, toys etc. Work out what your non-negotiables to buy new is, car seats? bedding? etc. and find everything else second hand. You will make it work. And kids don't care about money, if they feel safe and loved that is what they need.

They actually sleep a lot in the beginning.

It’s really great to have your body back after being so big.

Most women go back to a similar size, especially with healthy diet and regular exercise.

Your boobs are magical and breastfeeding is really super once you get the hang of it. (No bottles to clean.) Breastfeeding isn’t as bad as some make it out to be, but, it’s not for everyone and that’s okay.

Children can put a bit of strain on things but ultimately add magic and happiness to your lives.

Birth could be worse and it’s actually really enjoyable for some women. Tearing isn’t that bad, it’s the episiotomy and csection that sucked for me, BUT I recovered and that’s all that really matters. (My first was csection, my second was VBAC but the doctor gave me an unnecessary episiotomy… third was VBAC and only tore a little, which I hardly noticed, especially compared to the episiotomy.) And I would still say the episiotomy was BETTER than a csection. Hemorrhaging is rare.

Anyway, these are my positive counter thoughts, and experiences. I hope this is a bit helpful. Don’t listen to the negative nancy’s, things can be even better than expected, and with hope, most times, they are.

And to add, I wished I had been able to breastfeed with my first, but was unable due to him being a NICU baby and me being SO inexperienced. I’ve breastfed my other two past a year. Was shocked that I was able to after what felt like such a failure with my first.

It WAS challenging to push away the negative thoughts when I was a FTM. I am not pregnant with my 4th baby and feel SO excited. I feel seasoned. But I remember how difficult it was to not let intrusive thoughts win. Most of the time, they’re not right, and are only trying to scare you.

Im 38w and 3d and while I do have my gripes right now about being pregnant im also incredibly grateful to have the chance to carry a child, and the feeling of baby just existing inside is pretty incredible! I already have so much love for this little guy and I am so beyond excited to meet him. I already feel the motherly bond is strong as hell 💪

I still get teary eyed thinking about the very first time I heard my daughter laugh. It truly is the very best sound in the entire world.

The first time your baby hugs you, like truly hugs you is an absolute unforgettable sensation. You cannot look forward to it enough!

When you hear your baby’s voice start to develop, uuug! So so cool!

Watching your baby’s personality develop over the first year/year and a half is an absolute insane thing to be able to witness. Watching my daughter become more and more sure of herself and her abilities is by far my favorite part of the day.

Getting to share my favorite parts of life with her, that feeling cannot be found anywhere else. It’s such a deep joy that’s truly hard to put into words.

Parenting IS hard, no one can deny that. There are days that make you question everything. But I feel it’s worth it, and I hope you do too.

I’m a first time mom as well and about 3 weeks post partum so very much still in the throes of recovering & learning how to be a mom, but here are my highlights so far!

-my birth experience was overwhelmingly positive even though it was an induction for IUGR. It really made me realize just how wonderful and supportive my husband is; he was the best advocate for me, did hours and hours of counter pressure to ease my pain, and was so invested in getting me and baby through the experience happy and healthy. And it is true - as soon as you hold your baby, everything is so worth it. It’s scary, but you can do it!

-my body HAS changed but the changes seem so small in comparison to the love for my daughter. My body gave me the most incredible gift and it changed my perspective a lot!

-I have a new appreciation and deeper relationship with my parents, especially my mom.

-I love watching my husband be a dad!

-and most of all, all the stress and anxiety is so outweighed by the magic of my baby. Watching her grow and learn and change each day is an incredible gift.

All the newborn/ post birth stuff goes away really quickly (and I had an emergency c-section that I found quite traumatic). It’s only a brief season, and then you get to have a beautiful baby and toddler and child who thinks you’re the smartest funniest best safest person in the world. They are so fun to hang out with and say the sweetest things- my 3.5 year old is easily the biggest joy in my life. Seeing your partner be a parent adds a whole other dimension to your relationship. There’s a reason people choose to have babies (and second and third and more babies) every day!

Just remember… people online look for validation/pity and like to scare new moms by sending the message WHAT IM DOING IS HARD AND I NEED PPL TO RECOGNIZE THAT. And honestly, it is hard! But it’s not scary. My LO (ftm) is almost 8 weeks and I have had lots of challenges come and go but none of it is scary or out of the ordinary. It’s just part of the beauty of figuring out this new life, which you will totally do! And people forget to tell you all the positive “just wait” moments. Like…just wait until … - your baby smiles at you for the first time - you experience the joy of finally getting that good latch after weeks of hard work - you realize your relationship with your partner is getting stronger - you finally get to experience the process of birthing your child into existence! (And listen, I had an epidural so my experience was truly great!) - you start to find your flow and confidence as a parent

Etc etc etc … I could go on forever and it’s only been 8 weeks! You’ve got this, you already know that there will be challenges, but what you should remind yourself is that it will be the best and most fulfilling challenge yet!

As someone almost through with my first pregnancy, I think of this whole time the same way I’d think of any other fulfilling thing I’ve done. Opening a business. Going to college. Moving to a new city. Training for a half marathon. There are parts that suck, but you’re doing something amazing and life changing, that gives you both a deeper appreciation for yourself and your capabilities, and an amazement at how expansive life can be past what you previously imagined.

The newborn noises. The way they nuzzle into you. The way they settle with you because you’re mama. How satisfying it is to successfully latch and feed your baby. The way they happily sleep on your chest. The kicks and movements in the third trimester are amazing. Sometimes painful but I always loved it. The empowerment after you birth your baby.

I’m 20 weeks and I totally get it. I had a great experience at my anatomy scan today and posted it with the hopes that’s others would find it helpful to ease some anxiety.

• Newborn tired >>> pregnancy tired. • are you planning on BF? •of course it doesn’t look the same. I like mine better now weirdly enough. •post partum is hard- but it’s inevitable •I felt literally nothing when I gave birth. Epidural >> •listen to your body and doctors! •do you have a strong marriage now? Of course a new human to be responsible for is going to be stressful. But it doesn’t have to be miserable. •you have to make time… it wil be hard. If cleaning and organizing makes you feel better… do it. Baby can wait a minute •I can’t speak on the financial part yet- but life in general is expensive.

I’m 19 weeks too! As a STM, I can tell you one of the greatest blessings of motherhood is feeling released from the scrutiny of myself towards my body. I no longer obsess about weight or having the perfect body, because my priorities shifted

Gave birth 2 weeks ago. Yes I did tear and hemorrhage. I had a 1st degree tear and my doctors were on top of the hemorrhage. You gotta have trust in your medical team in order to get through it. I had some of the nicest nurses during delivery and post partum. After I got the epidural pain was slim to none. I wouldn't call my delivery easy in anyway but the medical team I had definitely made it so much easier to get through it.

I'm not there yet, but I'm finding all the warning signs of how hard it's going to be as bracing for a possible storm. I'm batoning down the hatches, calling in some troops and making a plan for a time of huge change. Allowing myself to take enough space to focus on learning how to do new things with a new person. Listening to others'experiences helps me form some expectations of how things could go sideways and make a plan to help myself through it. Hopefully, I won't need most of it but better to be prepared.

Giving birth gave me so much confidence. Like I DID THAT, I grew a baby! Newfound strength.

Your body will change but that might be a good thing. I felt a sense of peace with my body because I was proud of it, softness and all.

I had PPD and breastfeeding helped me bond with my baby, and fortunately helped build up some immunities for her. Give yourself patience to get the hang of it.

If you’re able to take some maternity leave time, postpartum can be really wonderful! I loved all the baby snuggles and just hanging out with my little guy :)

Around a year they just explode developmentally. My boy gives me hugs and kisses and can say several words and it’s so fun interacting with him and watching him explore the world! My love for him just grows every day but I didn’t expect it to be so clear that he loves me too and that’s been really cool to see :)

Im so excited to breast feed my daughter for the first time and feel that beautiful bond with her.

I can't wait to see what she looks like after 9 months

I am so excited to see my husband be the best father to our little girl .I just know they will have an extra special bond and she will be daddy's little girl.

Because of this pregnancy we decided instead of waiting to get married because we have been together 8 years and he was planning to propose at some point this year, we had an intimate town hall ceremony on Christmas Eve and I'm proud that it's my husband and not my boyfriend of 8 years who will be in the delivery room with me.

I can't wait to dress her in all her little outfits everyone bought.

I'm excited for the first bath.

I look forward to taking her for walks in the stroller and beginning my journey or postpartum recovery, rebuilding my strength.

I had a wild breastfeeding experience and came close to throwing in the towel. Breastfeeding was important to me and let me clarify for me, PUMPING sucks lol 😂 but it was mind over matter and I reminded myself that I was providing for my son so I woke up every 2-3 hours and pumped. He wouldn’t latch at first which made me consider giving up but then one day after I kept gently trying it just happened! I say all of this because if it doesn’t click at first, don’t panic! Some babies just take a little while to figure it out and that’s ok 😊

PP was rocky for sure but you will get into a groove of what works for you and the baby. It’s hard to prepare for because you two (and partner i guess lol) are learning each other. We did little things to make life easier like keeping snacks upstairs, mini fridge in our room for collection cups, diaper caddy stocked every night.

Your body is doing something incredible right now and about to amaze you with what you’re capable of. You suddenly develop super hearing and can identify your babies cries and what they mean. Your body responds to your babies touch, cries, etc. And as someone else said when you see those little eyes looking at you, your heart is going to burst into a million pieces.

god ty for this. literally.

Thank you for this post, it was much needed

I'm loving feeling baby move and talking to her, I'm almost 22 weeks so she's probably just starting to hear other voices or will soon! I'm really excited for my husband to feel her kicks and talk to her more (and so is he, it's so sweet!). I'm really proud of all the hard work my body is doing and I think it's easier than it ever has been for me to feel beautiful or at least badass knowing what it's accomplishing and will go through. I'm excited for my upcoming baby showers (2 different states) to see people I love and who my baby will know and love one day! I'm excited to maybe get a good look at her on an ultrasound, she didn't cooperate at our anatomy scan so we're doing a second attempt in the new year. We've had 4 ultrasounds bc of a study I'm participating in, and haven't had a good picture since week 10! So I'd love to see more than a very blurry foot lol.

I'm really excited to read to her, to see my husband bond with her, and for my cats and all our loved ones to meet her. I'm exited just to watch her experience all the new things, especially foods when we get there. We're a big food and book loving family!

I went to two prenatal classes and I’m done because they scared me so much I’m having nightmares about pregnancy and birth now. Not going to the rest of the classes, there’s enough on youtube.

It’s my first baby so I couldn’t tell you what good things come after, but I can tell you this. He reacts very strongly to certain things and it’s really funny. He likes classical music??? This lil dude hasn’t even smelled oxygen yet and he has a preference. If I turn on opera, he loves it, moves around a bunch. If I turn on fifth element diva song, which is a pop song with opera vocals, he stops. When I turn on another classical opera song afterwards, he resumes moving. Like I knew because of how into music my husband and his family are, the kid would love music, but I didn’t know it would literally be in his genes.

You’re not gonna be able to sleep when the baby comes - this was true for us, severe colic’s for three months. But! This is not common.

breast feeding is going to suck - it did for us, perm baby with a vaulted palate. It was never in our stars. But! I was sooo happy once we went to formula at 5 weeks.

Your body is not gonna be the same, stretch marks, loose skin, saggy boobs, hemorrhoids, etc - honestly, no changes really. Was back to me weight in two weeks, no real abdominal separation, no stretch marks and still have great boobs!

Postpartum is going to absolutely suck physically and emotionally - aside from his colic, postpartum was a breeze. I could have done the can can the day after birth and felt great. 

Birth will be painful - yes of course. It was actually much worse than I anticipated. 

Birth complications such as tearing, hemorrhage. - I tore and haemorrhaged, barely noticed either, the medical team were so in control and professional. They were so calm I never even freaked out. 

Your marriage isn’t going to be the same - yep, it’s different - but! We’re super happy and in love still. Roommate phase never phased us at all. 

You’re never gonna have time for yourself - only if you have a shit partner. I’ve always found ways, I have a lovely husband and it’s possible. 

it’s going to be financially challenging - not for us. We planned ahead and it was completely fine. 

My baby is about to turn 3 months and she’s the happiest, cutest, most amazing part of our life. We heard her laugh for the first time the other day and it took our breath away.

The first month can feel overwhelming but you’ll be surprised at how easily you pick things up and develop your own routine. Truly, nobody’s experience is 1:1, so take it in stride and be kind to yourself and your partner.

We had baby arrive at noon yesterday and even with the sleep deprivation and sore nipples it's been awesome - adrenaline I'm sure is helping.

She is the cutest thing in the universe and such a trooper in everything from eating to sleeping. Every tiny win of hers is a win of ours and we feel so satisfied as we figure out how to make her happy by burping her or whatever.

My husband and I are both pretty unemotional and he is rendered into a big sensitive wreck by her squeaks of protest. We are so proud of and grateful for eachother.

Okay, third pregnancy here. Yes, alot of things change and it'll keep on changing.

You're going to be so tired some days that you'll want to cry and pull your hair out but then something wonderful happens. Contact naps. The kind where you feel their tiny body pressed against you, their heartbeat, tiny little breaths, and the occasional small hand holding onto you because to them at that moment, you are their whole world.

Labor it can be a dream or a nightmare. And yeah, your body won't be the same but to be honest, your body is constantly changing as you age just give it the care it deserves as you recover. Yoga, pilates, pelvic floor exercises, warm baths, face masks, good eye cream, vitamin c, and collagen. Yes, you can find time to do things. How? You make the time because you'll go crazy if you don't.

Marriage, yeah, this is a make it or break it time. Just remember your emotions will be everywhere. The key is you're a team, communicate.

In the end, motherhood is what you make of it. There's no such thing as perfection cause at the end of the day you just need to be the mother your baby needs. Be present, be loving, and be especially patient and forgiving to yourself. Otherwise, all that anxiety and self-doubt will make you miss some of the most important things that will happen.

4.5 months postpartum now and still hearing negative stuff… it never ends BUT my pregnancy and baby was never like what people said - I was never nauseous, I had a C-section that went super smoothly, healed within 2 weeks, breast feeding did suck for me but then we did combo feeding which solved the situation and also allowed my husband to do night feeds so that I can get some sleep, we even manage to get intimate regularly too! In fact, I never had such good quality sleep since having a baby 🤣

I normally take every advice/comment with a pinch of salt because it may or may not be relevant since every baby is different!

(Typing this while my baby is still sound asleep at 8am and I’m gna have some me-time + breakfast hehe)

I’m having the time of my life (Genuinely) I haven’t even gotten frustrated yet and my baby is 6 weeks. Relationship is stronger.

Birth isn’t a picnic but it was fine in my opinion! I had an emergency C section and tbh it went well enough I’m going to elect for one next time.

Breast feeding is super tricky. I kind of exclusively pump! I did formula substitution until my breast milk could come in and now I’m exclusively breastfeeding. Remember fed is best! Absolutely try to breastfeed or have breastmilk as much as you can, don’t beat yourself up if you can’t though! You will still have a happy healthy baby!

Body bounced back fairly okay! I’m not concentrating on that right now though, just my baby and recovery. But I’m not worried at all! Though maybe if I had a vaginal birth I would be a bit more self conscious to be fair! Your feelings are valid though! Everyone’s different! But look at how many people you know are mothers and do they all look the same? Some you can’t even tell unless they tell you these days.

Complications can always happen. All my friends have had some kind of complication but they are all here and so are their babies! Don’t be afraid to ask questions to your doctors!

Financially challenging? YES. I do admit. And it’s a bit subjective! I think you will be okay though. Crack addicts make it happen, so do parents!

You got this girl! I’m having a great time! Walks! Cooking! I make really nice coffee with brewers yeast. Baby so cute! I think it helps having a wonderfully supportive partner! There will be a period around 1-2 weeks where you will most likely cry over everything. Good or bad, even if something is “too cute” is enough to set it off.

But genuinely. Don’t be afraid!

All the negatives are true.. And more than that. There will be negatives you'd never even thought of before having kids..

Having said that.. It's hard to fully describe the positives.. It's such a miraculous and beautiful feeling, being a parent.. When they start to smile. Crawl. Walk. Starting to say their first few words, and pronouncing it wrong in the cutest of ways. Starting to get to know who your kid is, and what is going on inside their minds. Learning what makes them tick and what they hate..

And to be able to be the steady rock and safe harbour. To see their face light up, same as yours does, if you see each other again (even after very short moments of being apart). Experiencing in yourself this deep well of love, you never be able to imagine feeling or be able to feel. It's such a wonder, that even now.. Having gone through it once, it's hard to imagine I can find a second well (now I am pregnant with my second). But other parents assure me that it's there, so I just have to trust the process;-).

Yeah just don’t listen to them. Everyone’s experience is completely different and there is no way to gauge. I personally had an awful birth and it was indeed painful, and I didn’t sleep for 2 years, BUT that isn’t everyone’s experience. Breastfeeding is hard, but it absolutely rules in my experience. I personally don’t think babies are that expensive as long as your baby doesn’t have any medical issues that require lots of appointments/care/surgeries. The most expensive part is just diapers on repeat, and fruit once they start eating lol. If you have a decent support system (or the money to pay for help), there is no reason for you to not still have some time for yourself. Babies are cool and fun and cute and you’ll be great!

2 months pp! I’m gonna be honest, those things tend to be true. There’s a lack of sleep, sore nipples for a few weeks whilst breastfeeding establishes, body changes, potential birth complications, less time for yourself etc.

BUT!! These things aren’t necessarily permanent. I had horrible swelling and infected stitches after birth and yknow what, they all healed. Birth was painful but the second they put that little baby in your arms, it’s all a fleeting memory. Breastfeeding was hard at first but now I feel like a superhero. I argued with my partner during those sleepless nights but we also learned to communicate on a whole new level. We’ve cried together over just how beautiful being parents is.

Honestly, when my baby smiles at me and coos, literally nothing else matters! Take all the photos, videos, and just soak it all in in those moments. It’s hard but gosh it’s the most rewarding and beautiful thing, wishing you all the best <3