I really wanted to name my daughter after my grandmother. Many other reason why I wanted a girl too. In giving all of it. This is definitely our last baby. Any moms out there with all boys and have gone through something similar? I find myself hoping my Nipt is wrong but I know that is very unlikely.
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I am currently having my 4th baby. My fourth and final boy. I definitely cried when I got the NIPT tests back.
But I will tell you that all three of my boys are so different. My oldest loves dirt and monster trucks and superheroes. My middle loves sparkly things, pink and princesses, my current youngest is only 14 months but he already loves cars. I'm know the boy I'm pregnant with will be very different from his older brothers.
All of my boys enjoy helping me bake and helping their daddy cook. They enjoy helping me with laundry and helping daddy load the dishes in the dishwasher. They enjoy having a say in the clothes we buy them and have outfits they get sad they grow out of.
I view it as our world needs more good men in it and I get the privilege of raising 4 good men.
That's a beautiful way to think about it
We have three boys and decided to go for a fourth, not for a girl but because we felt we weren’t done. I was fully expecting boy and got a girl. I don’t say this to gloat, but I say it because my husband and I are trying so hard to raise good men and strong, caring husbands, but when I realized I was pregnant with a girl, I started immediately praying that someone else was raising good men too. If she needs a man one day, I pray she finds a good one. Your comment gave me so much hope and is a beautiful sentiment.
I didn’t don’t have any kind of strong gender preference, but once I found out I was having a boy I knew I had to make part of my mission as a parent for him to grow up to be a good man, and good human. Someone who respects everyone, and the kind of person another mom would hope for their kid would eventually find.
I just had my third boy two weeks ago 🤍 I can very much relate to you as I always dreamed of a baby girl for many reasons and this will be my last baby. I had the exact same thought as you, hoping my NIPT was wrong at first but of course that is extremely unlikely. I’m sure there will always be a small part of me that will be sad I never got to raise a baby girl.
All I can say is take the time to feel sad and grieve the girl you won’t have - I was sad for a few weeks just because I really had hoped this last baby was going to be my girl. Gender disappointment happens but I think you just need to feel what you need to feel in order to move on. After the initial disappointment faded I focused on choosing my baby’s name and picking out cute new clothes to get more excited.
Thank you for this. I’m sure you are completely in love with your boys
I promise when they put that healthy baby in your arms you wont care.
You never know thr personality a baby will have, regardless of gender and whatever fantasy you have of a boy or girl can be fulfilled still. Boys can love shopping, girls can love sports etc
I'm currently pregnant with my third boy (we lost one at 19 weeks last year). I lost my sister, my only sibling, in December of 2020. She and I always talked about and dreamed of and loosely planned having 4 or 5 kids each, girls and boys, and living nearby and raising them all together.
I think I will always be grieving the version I dreamed of my life where my kids have an aunt and an uncle and cousins on my side of the family. Now it feels like, after 3 male pregnancies, I might also be grieving the family I envisioned for my children of girls and boys.
My husband and I are open to trying for 4 kids, I think thats our emotional and financial max out. But after 3 pregnancies all boys, and lots of boys in my husband's family, it just feels like a pipe dream? Im even researching gender selective IVF as crazy as that sounds. Im not ready to grieve every version of my life I dreamed of.
I know part of my grief is just the perpetual grief of missing my sister so fucking much, and wishing things were different for her, but I also have ALWAYS thought I would have at least one daughter. Its all girls in my family - me and my sister, my mom and her sister, my nana and her 5 sisters, etc. I think grief and disappointment are normal. I know when your baby is here you won't be able to help but love him. But maybe you feel like me and you're not truly excited to meet him. I don't think that makes us bad people or bad moms. There isn't a single thing I wouldn't do for my living son. If this boy makes it earthside, I know there won't be anything he will ever need and I will love and cherish and care for him with all the devotion I give my living boy, and I know you will too 🫶🏼
Abel! 🥹 I know how you feel - I was convinced I was having a boy… I even got a second opinion on baby’s gender because I didn’t want to believe it.
I wanted to honor my grandfather, Victor, so I chose Victoria for our baby girl! Sometimes life throws you curveballs; you just gotta take that swing ❤️
I’m doing the same, I wanted to name the baby after my mom if it was a girl, so instead we chose a similar sounding boy’s name.
Just takes time, once he’s here, you won’t think about it as much cause you won’t be able to picture life without the little boy you got. As my name suggests, I have all girls, I would’ve liked at least one boy but I don’t think that’s in the cards.
It’s totally valid to have gender disappointment. I experienced that when my third was a boy.
I already had one girl and one boy. But my daughter desperately wanted a sister. I grew up with only sisters so I was really hoping to be able to share the joys of sisterhood with my daughter. But alas he was/is very much a boy.
I was sad in the moment and it took a bit of time to adjust but my sweet little guy is such a mama’s boy. My daughter was sad too, but we quickly got over it. He is the perfect addition to our family. And I am so glad he is who he is.
My oldest is 10 now. I’ve since divorced and re-married. Tried to prevent pregnancy but am now 20 weeks pregnant with a baby girl.
My daughter was so excited she began jumping up and down exclaiming “I’ve been waiting for this my whole life!”
Life is kinda funny sometimes. You never really know how things will turn out. The universe was right though. I needed my mamas boy and I’m so glad I am getting another chance to give my daughter a sister. Even if we were trying to prevent it.
Also as far as names go, you could absolutely find a way to honor your grandma.
If you want to change it to something more masculine you could, you could also look at other things your grandma loved.
Maybe a favorite place she’d visit or a favorite herb she used… even a favorite song? There are lots of cool ways to honor the spirit of a person and pass on traditions without using a first name.
I’m gonna name my baby Harmony Hunter knowing that the middle name is more masculine. But it is in honor of someone dear to us as well. And then regardless of what gender she feels comfortable with as an adult she has built in options for names.
I wanted to pass on my middle name “Nicole” as it is mine, my mothers, and grandmothers but didn’t get the chance too! We went with Nakoa (my child is Hawaiian) and even though it’s not exactly the same it has helped me feel better in a way. This is a hard feeling though, my heart goes out to you!
Is there any way to modify the name to a masculine version? What's grandma's name?
Isabel. She passed from Covid. Many other reasons why I wanted a girl. Just looking for moms who dealt with the same and have positive stories
Isaac may be an option
Friend of mine would have gone with Isidor if they had a boy! Is that too far fetched?
What about just “Isa?” It’d be pronounced differently but still reminds me of the name Isabel since the first half is the same
What about Isley? It could be a middle name too
Maybe middle name Abel !?
I have boys and I’ve always dreamed of having a little girl. My partner doesn’t want anymore kids so we’re done (I could have one more, but I know his choice is well reasoned). It’s hard. I still sometimes see things which make me feel a bit sad - girl gender reveals, cute baby girl clothes, etc. Not so sad that I can’t be around those things, just sad enough that I notice it sometimes. Once they’re here though, they’re yours and you can’t imagine anything else. I love my kids and I wouldn’t change a thing about them.
Also, Abel would be a good nod to your grandmother.
Isaac would be a lovely tribute!
Gender disappointment is real, so don’t feel guilty about having these feelings. Give yourself the space to grieve the life you dreamed of with a baby girl. But also leave room to enjoy the gift that this new baby will be. Is there something else you all could do as a family to honor your grandmother? Plant a tree or garden. Or maybe create something personal and meaningful like a Pandora necklace or bracelet with her birthstone. We often get caught up in executing sentiment in a certain way, but there are no rules.
Not sure if it helps but if my third ends up being a boy I’m just using my grandmothers maiden name. Maybe that could work for you?
This actually made me smile. My grandma’s maiden name was “Morón”. She was Peruvian and it’s not pronounced the same in Spanish. I never realized the spelling though!
Currently pregnant with my 3rd and likely final baby and it’s my 3rd boy. Husband & I were hoping for a girl and he had more disappointment than I did. I was worried I was going to be really upset but I handled it better than I expected, or maybe I haven’t fully processed it yet. I also have a small thought in the back of my mind that at my anatomy scan next week they are going to tell me it’s a girl and that my NIPT was wrong but it’s unlikely. You’re not alone, but like some of the other comments I try to have a mindset of “My husband and I are tasked with raising a group of truly good men” and that feels good to remind ourselves that we are creating men that others daughters will be grateful for. My husband is an amazing husband and father and I look forward to watching him and working along side him as we shape these boys into good men like him. Definitely not enough of them in this world
What’s your grandmothers name? Maybe there’s a way to boy-ify it for your son?
You can still name your son after your grandmother! My daughter is named after my grandfather!
Isabel would be hard name to modify. Also many other reasons I wanted girl. I love my boys but I always imagined having a daughter.
Isaac? Isidore and he can go by Iz? There’s many I names you can come up with.
Ishmael could be an option.
Sounds Arabic
It's of Hebrew origin, just like Isabel. Ismail would be the Arabic variant.
Ok sorry for my ignorance, I thought Isabel was Italian 🫣
I want you to sit with the disappointment and see if comes from where truly! ?
For example we have the belief of u gotta have a boy to take care of the family as supportive provider etc .. or the idea of having a girl to be there for her mom when she get old etc ... so sometimes these narrative are the voices in our head but not truly ours!
I have 2 girls and 10 week pregnant and everyone is looking at me like " hope its a boy!" And I can see the disappointment or the bothering expression on their faces when I mention what it its a girl?
And also I have to train my thoughts about it cuz it can hit me too .. but at the end look at life what will make me truly happy is healthy baby ...
And I wish that upon u too . And if u wish for a girl with will wish u that the test is wrong 😆 .. best of love sweetie
Elijah is a name with a similar meaning and Isaac starts with IS and sounds “similar” enough, while still staying masculine. Also there’s her middle name you could also try to work around, or even use the last name for her, maiden or married.
It is a nice and sentimental touch to name your child after someone, but if it doesn’t work out, I doubt your grandmother is disappointed. Remembering her, sharing stories with the kids as they grow, and remembering the lessons she gave you is a beautiful tribute to her as well. I’m sorry for your loss. I miss my grandma as well ♥️
So I’m currently expecting my first, and idk, I have this gut feeling it’s a boy. I know this isn’t the same in any capacity. Really, I just want a healthy baby. But I really wanted my first to be a girl. For a lot of reasons. However, I’ve told myself that if it is a boy that eventually they’ll have a wife or girlfriend and I’ll get to do girly things with her and she’ll appreciate all the sappy baby things I did and kept for him and stuff. I certainly know it isn’t the same, but it’s helped me be way less bothered.
Im pregnant with my last baby and its a boy. I have a wonderful boy toddler and was hoping for a girl.
I had a name i fell in love with and some other reasons as well. I was a little disappointed as well. Which is okay. We can mourn the loss of the future we pictured.
I have dealt with it after finding another boy name I love and reminding myself that some of my reasons for wanting a girl were a little unimportant in the long term like being able to buy different clothing.
I have also been reminding myself that just because its a boy doesnt mean he will have the same interests as my son and I get to learn a whole new person still.
I know some boys named ‘Izzy’ if that helps xx
Aww. I so know how you feel. I gave birth to 5 boys. Now I have 4 grandson’s and well ones on the way.
I don’t have all boys but my oldest is a girl and my second is a boy and he has been so hard to deal with I am currently 35 weeks pregnant and got the blood results early and I am hoping that they are wrong but they came back as boy. My husband and I both wanted another girl and when we found out this baby is a boy I cried so I feel the pain that you are feeling I still don’t want to believe that I am having a boy but any time that we get an ultrasound done he is exposing himself to us at all time I just don’t want to believe it.
If I have a third girl it is what it is. I’ll feminize or masculate the name I want
Same with me I’m having my third and they are all boys and this is the last one. There is always a small chance with nipt being wrong I kinda hope mine is wrong too. I’ll just have to wait and see in Jan with my 20 week scan. Im sorry you are dealing with this.
Currently pregnant with my last and third boy. I’m a bit disappointed, but at the same time it is what it is. I’m also 32 weeks so I’ve had a lot of time to process it.
My boys are pretty great so I can’t imagine that this third one won’t be.
Oh I feel you.. that was me after having my 3rd son. This feeling will eventually go and you'll soon accept the fact that you're just a boy mum. I was quite adamant I was done after 4 kids (one of them being my step son) but we're now expecting child 5 in May and she's a girl. If you're certain this baby is your last, I truly hope you find peace within. I have no doubt this baby won't be loved any less, but boys are truly the best. I am so sorry you won't have that chance to pass on your grandmothers name, but sending you lots of love ❤️
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You need therapy. What a sexist view to not want a baby unless they’re a female/the sex YOU want. Babies are wonderful regardless. Seek help if you have a second son, for your kids’ sake.
Yeah, the negative comments don’t help… I understand what I’m feeling is wrong, kinda felt like this is a safe space. You can see yourself out..
It’s all the same. I have three of each and there’s not really a difference. You won’t miss out on anything either way.
No idea why you’re being downvoted, I agree. These pregnancy groups are filled with women disappointed over having boys, whether it’s their first or if they already have a girl.
I’ve commented the same thing on this subreddit dozens of times and never been downvoted before. Sometimes downvotes happen lol. But at the end of the day, you get the same love, joy, and bond out of it.
And people are free to be disappointed. There’s nothing wrong with it. But no matter what, your child will never end up how you expect anyway.