I understand people have different opinions on all things related to pregnancy & birth. But can we just start calling people out on stupidity? I vote yes. Because I’m scrolling through social media and I want to bang my head against the wall.
Telling me the stupidest thing you heard or read while being pregnant.
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Someone on Facebook got into a heated argument with me over having a scheduled c-section. I've had multiple endometriosis surgeries, 2 massive bleeds, a ruptured fallopian tube that required a standard c-section incision, and a classical c-section. With my history, as soon as I had the classical c-section I was no longer a candidate to even attempt a VBAC, it could literally kill me and/or baby. This lady kept hounding me saying I didn't love my baby enough to try and I wanted to take the easy way out.
C-sections are not the easy way out. If only people knew.
Absolutely. My daughter was also in the NICU so I was having to do stairs a couple of times a day from day 4 on(she was life-flighted to higher level NICU). I WISH I had been able to deliver vaginally.
Anyone who says a c-section is the easy way out, especially after what you’ve been through…yikes.
I had to have an emergency c section 2 weeks ago and istg if one more person tells me i took the easy way out (when i literally also did not have the choice), i will actually go crazy.
The pain and agony, the restricted movements, the constipation that followed for 12 days, the constantly being on edge and crying over the flashbacks I have every single day about being in labour and that white ceiling when i was wide awake during my c section - and all the other things that will follow for years to come - none of it was easy and idk when people will get that into their thick af brains.
I’m still struggling to talk about what happened that led to the c section with my husband, nvm the family that are prying and asking me about every last detail that i cannot reply to. Currently also seeking professional help because I know I’m going through PPD as a result of everything that happened.
The easy way, eh?
“You’re right, it would have been harder if I had just died.”
Yeah just tell them to stop saying that & call them out. If you put one person in their place, they’ll tell the others to not say the same.
Maybe it's because I was a C section baby, but people who are, like, emotionally attached to the idea of vaginal birth (as opposed to just wanting a shorter recovery or not doing well with anesthesia or whatever) have always made me really uncomfortable.
It’s so weird to me. I wanted a vaginal birth because recovery from surgery sucks, but I knew there was still a chance of a c section and I’d do it if needed. When the time came to deliver, bah got stuck and all I wanted was whatever would get him out as quickly and safely as possible. Ended up with a forceps-assisted delivery.
The easy way?? While I’m over here scared of c-sections. My cousin went through it when she got hers even ruptured her stitches.
C section as the easy way out???? I’m a FTM and nervous about giving birth but I REALLY don’t want a c section bc I dread the recovery.
It’s literally major surgery, how do they think that’s easy??
I've always just assuming it was people whose self worth/value is tied to vanity and how desirable they are. Could be totally off base, but I guessed they'd rather have a surgical incision to recover from than risk damaging their goodies, possibly beyond repair 🤷♀️. When discussing the fact that I never went into labor the first time, and won't be allowed to this time(so that we don't DIE), I was told "wow, your husband's lucky, going by just your kitty nobody would ever know you've even had a baby"...they totally missed the fact that my kitty is nobody's damn business but mine and my husband if I say so-we both know I've had a baby 🤬
As someone having a c-section purely for preference, these are my favorite arguments to have 😈
Yeah I had that happen with a local prominent-ish doula on Facebook not only shaming me for expressing a choice I was considering for a hypothetical pregnancy that hadn’t taken place yet (possibly elective c-section because I’m terrified of episiotomies, definitely epidural, unsure about breastfeeding), but also having all her fangirls do so as well in comments and DMs. Which is hilarious because she preaches a wholly-embodying approach to mind/body/spirit where she supports the mother’s choices first and foremost and teaches her to advocate for herself. I had some psycho send voice message after voice message yelling threats and profanities at me, calling me “not a real woman”, telling me I wasn’t deserving of motherhood, etc. I reached out to the woman herself kindly asking her to keep her girls in check and… was blocked. 🤷🏼♀️
A couple weeks ago, had a man ask me how women are able to grow a baby and have enough space for food if both are in the woman’s belly. As in stomach. Didn’t even know the uterus existed apparently. I didn’t know how to respond but gave him a brief anatomy lesson. Just wow…
Imagine my baby is just growing in a vat of fucking stomach acid lol
And even having them in two separate organs, I barely have room for food!!
It’s wild how poor so many people’s basic understand and of human anatomy is… especially female anatomy.
It seems so crazy, but it just isn't something that was fully addressed with men in school way back when; it's better now, I think, but generations before didn't value its importance for men to know.
My father is the most intelligent man I know. A deep lover of history, literature, general sciences, social and economic development, etc. Very open-minded, embraces and is fascinated by world cultures, languages... heck, he'd flip through the dictionary and test us on word meanings and synonyms. For fun.
I was filling him in on my progress through this pregnancy on the phone when he quietly asked me to explain something I mentioned that, for us, is so basic that it left me gobsmacked.
It led to me explaining the female reproductive system to him. A guy who rattles off Jeopardy! questions before the contestants do. He felt sheepish about not knowing. He admitted that it never came up in health class. Boys and girls were separated and "informed" about their own business.
It was certainly humbling for both of us, but he appreciated knowing now what he didn't then. And I enjoyed having something to teach him for a change!
The fact that he made it to adulthood without learning this is genuinely concerning. At least he asked instead of just continuing to believe it forever, I guess...
Omg did he think the baby comes out of the butt then?
Sister of a friend had an at-home freebirth. Of twins. One of whom was breech. But she didn’t know he was breech. She also didn’t know she would be having twins. Because she refused all prenatal care including ultrasounds. Because “ultrasounds are bad for the baby”. But unassisted home births of twins are perfectly safe I guess?
Omg are they all alive and well?
Miraculously all three (mom and babies) lived and are fine, which is why I feel comfortable coming in here and calling her a fucking moron.
I think none of them (mom, mom’s partner, or my friend, who is a bit of a dingdong himself) are even aware of just how much danger she and the babies were in and how lucky they are to have all survived.
While I am relieved at reading this, this does set up a wrong precedence and gives confidence to such people that their decision to avoid prenatal care was not wrong. I can already imagine her boasting about this to everyone, including her future DIL.
Yeah see. I woulda said congratulations but I woulda also told her that her decision was dumb.
Tbh I think she should be in prison for child endangerment but I’m not gonna start that conversation.
Refusing all prenatal care?! I agree with you.
I see so many posts about babies dying during home births/free births and I firmly believe that those mothers should be in prison for manslaughter. Denying all medical care and killing your child because of your own selfishness and stupidity is a crime. It would immediately take care of this low tox fear mongering momfluencer bs that is ruining parenthood.
Ugh thank you, my people. I got dragged on a different sub when I compared a free birth influencer’s choice to refuse prenatal care resulting in a stillbirth with a teen who refused to acknowledge her pregnancy which resulted in a stillbirth.
Which sub? Asking so I can avoid it.
The free birth society scam page, I thought it was an anti free birth page but turns out they were all pro free birth just thought that the free birth society was bad.
Oh yeah, I also found that page. I know someone who’s involved in that cult as a “birth keeper” and has been involved in the death of at least one baby post-birth. I get that’s it’s a grey area as a woman does have a right to choose what to do with her body until the baby is born, but standing aside and refusing medical care while watching a baby struggle to breath and then die should be a crime.
Apparently, the mother and her were spoken to by the local sheriff, but nothing ever came of it. Absolutely infuriating.
Prosecuting people for freebirthing would not go well. Freebirthing on purpose is dumb, I think we can all agree on that, but the mom with precipitous labour who didn't make it to the hospital and had her baby in the living room technically freebirthed as well, and how exactly do you prove that she didn't mean to?
Precipitous labor mom would have a history of care at an OB and call 911 and go to a hospital ASAP to get follow up care for the baby
People who choose “free birth” also refuse all prenatal medical care. I fail to understand why we prosecute women for doing drugs while they’re pregnant but refusing medical care is A-OK.
I’m so much more sympathetic to moms with addiction problems than I am to “wild pregnancy”/freebirth dumbasses.
There is a difference between a home birth and free birth. I totally agree on the free birth, but home births are different.
There is a difference, but both put you far away from lifesaving medical treatment for both mother and baby. A midwife/doula can only help so much when things go south.
I don’t understand why we can’t appreciate the fact that fetal and maternal mortality rates have dramatically dropped since women began birthing in hospitals/birthing centers. I also don’t understand why childbirth is the ONLY medical event that people feel the need to form such deep and problematic opinions on to feel “empowered” when a child’s wellbeing is on the line. The goal of childbirth is to end up with a healthy mother and baby. If someone is so fearful of modern medicine that they can’t do what is safest for their child, maybe they should reconsider why they’re having a child in the first place.
I don't agree. I live in Europe in a country where it is common to have a home birth when all the prenatal checks are ok. It has been for decades, not because of the weird influencers. You than have the assistance of a midwife with a medical degree the entire birth. If things don't go according to plan, you are in the hospital in 5/10/15 minutes. The midwife really knows when to decide to go to the hospital.
In our country it is actually saver to have a home birth, without complications of course, because it is so well regulated. With hospital births you have more chance to get infections/ hospital bacteria, for mother and child.
And most of Europe has better maternal outcomes relative to the US.
There’s a lot of differences that you just described. American influencers convince expecting mothers to avoid hospitals and birth at home, even though our maternal health system is not built to properly accommodate that. I was about an hour away from the hospital I gave birth at, and that’s not uncommon here. A lot of local hospitals have “discontinued” their labor and delivery services, so women are driving further to bigger hospitals in order to give birth, and emergencies cannot be accommodated in the same way. That, combined with misinformation and fear mongering on the internet has created an incredibly unsafe community surrounding home and free birthing in the United States. I feel like I see more posts about complications, near death experiences, fetal demise, etc. during births outside of a hospital than I do positive stories.
I would never consent to a homebirth for my own reasons, but I do agree that having a licensed midwife counts as having a medical professional present. The other big difference is that people who participate in homebirth amhave had prenatal care that confirms that they are low risk for complications. Obviously things can still go wrong, but I think it’s a valid choice for those who want it.
I think we can agree to disagree. I don’t think anyone goes into birth thinking they’ll need an emergency c section or will end up hemorrhaging, coding, etc, but the risk is real and exists, and it’s still much more responsible to be 100 feet away from lifesaving medical care versus miles.
This whole free birth cult is so stupid! I just finished listening to the guardians podcast, the birth keepers. If you can handle stories about what can go wrong with this it’s a really good piece of investigative journalism. So sad and so stupid.
That if I took 2 flights of stairs, I'd go into labor.
If only.
Hahahahaha my 80 year old grandma told me not to use the stairs but I think she just didn’t want me to slip and fall.
I live on the third floor of an apartment building that doesn't have an elevator I would be in a whole lot of trouble if that were the case
Yeah, I'm like... huh, guess I'm not leaving the house for the next 30 weeks or so then!
God I wish. When I was 37 weeks pregnant I walked up and down the stairs in my apartment building in hope that that would be the old wives tale to send me into labor. I assure you, I climbed way more than two flights and it didn’t do jack shit !!
That's hilarious because I live in a 3rd fl apartment and not one professional from my OB team has said anything about going into labor early LOLLL...I also go up and down these stairs daily because I have to.
I wish. I was 10 days over with my first and was trying EVERYTHING to get him out
Currently 40+2, I would be walking up and down my stairs all day if that were true lol
My husband's aunt heard I was having a repeat c-section and said, "No judgement, if I could have taken the easy way out I would have too."
What a deeply stupid take. Two major abdominal surgeries in 17 months isn't exactly a cakewalk. No way of giving birth is the "easy way out!"
People like that upset me so much. I suffered so bad after mine. I’m still traumatized.
I switched hospitals and practices for my third pregnancy just for one last chance at a vaginal birth. I do NOT want another c-section. They are brutal to recover from, especially if there are other kids you need to take care of. No. Thanks.
I've only had the one vaginal birth but a C section definitely seems worse. People are crazy
Literally the reason many people want to avoid them is because they are more difficult!!!! Fuck sake.
You should have told her she was stupid for saying that comment! I support you saying it.
Somebody not pregnant posted in r/pregnant today asking if they take a supplement, will it make them more likely to have a girl. Uh...the man's sperm determines gender, you contribute an X chromosome either way.
Also seen a lot of people surprised that you can get pregnant on the pull-out method, apparently not knowing that pre-cum has semen or that it can be very hard to time the pull-out method.
The lack of knowledge on basic biology can be surprising.
When I got my implant out, my OB told me I could switch to the withdrawal method with the caveats that 1) he was only saying this because I was planning to get pregnant that year anyway and 2) if it was very important to me NOT to get pregnant before a certain month, I should put my trust in a different method instead.
My husband and I actually used pull out method for 5 years and never got pregnant since I was on birth control for 3 years before that and I was majorly depressed.
The moment we actually started trying and he came inside me it took two months to conceive! We were very thankful it came at a time we wants it.
Almost exact same here! 5 years of pull out method (no scares) then conceived during second cycle! 🤝
Same! My period always came on time and never had a time where we were concerned!
Yeah actually a poster on the wall at my ob/gyn says the pull-out method is 85% effective and that make condoms are the same effectiveness
Condoms are 98% effective with perfect use, but a lot less effective with typical use.
The good news is that "perfect use" just means "use a condom every single time you have sex."
That poster definitely felt suspicious to me. I suppose they were going off imperfect use
I was worried that I was going to have trouble conceiving due to past medical issues (my former gyn kindly forgot to tell me that I had had a positive test for BV for six months?!) and the fact that my husband and I successfully used the pull-out method for almost thirteen years. When we conceived on the third cycle of trying he was like, “I TOLD you I was good at it” 😂
But that is certainly not the norm; I just knew I would’ve been OK with an oopsie baby.
I think most people are genuinely stupid. And social media, purposeful disinfo, sensationalized headlines etc has exacerbated the dumbassery.
Totally agree. We just didn’t realize how bad it was before social media.
My brother in law was convinced that having sex timed carefully during ovulation just once was a surefire way to get pregnant. Not "yeah it can only take one time to get pregnant," no- he thought it pregnancy was absolutely guaranteed (outside of rare fertility issues) if a couple has sex during peak ovulation.
As a couple with unexplained fertility issues, that was a very annoying conversation to have. I'm pretty sure he still doesn't believe me.
Yep when I was struggling to conceive someone told me “have you tried just having sex during your fertile window? Worked for me!” Like wow, never thought of that method after two whole years!!!!
What do they think we've been doing?!?!?!
lol this is how you find out you've been doing it wrong this entire time. I peed on so many ovulation sticks, was monitored by my fertility clinic for ovulation, took meds and did IUI for years and nothing. I wish it were that easy.
So much of the stupid things people believe is because of their potent mix of arrogance and privilege to never have experienced the thing they’re talking about. For people like that, they just have to go through it themselves to figure it out
Not to mention a lack of understanding of biology and probably little to no sex Ed
I'm so sorry you have to deal with that, it sounds really frustrating! It reminds me about an article from a person who once met their spouse immediately after starting online dating and then thought people who had no success surely did somthing wrong because it obviously was so easy to meet the right person online. She even gave "helpful" advice for years until she finally realised she just had been incredibly lucky ..
I’ve heard this before! But to add some light humor to the stupidity and redirect from the annoyance of it…it was my grandmother who thought this!! Except her reason was that she just wanted to do the deed only once and that was it, never have to do it again 🤣
People planning their pregnancy and birth around horoscopes cause they cant accept if their kids have particular horoscopes.
Wow, didn’t know this was a thing.
Unfortunately know at least 2 planed c-sections to avoid scorpio and some other idk and 1 that kept on complaining that the kid will be taurus and asking how to delay birth so the kid won’t be one.
My friend has a 5 year old and she still complains that the kid is Gemini. All the time. Where we live you can't schedule c section but I'm pretty sure she would if she could.
My baby's due date is one month before her kid's birthday and the first thing she said was 'oh at least it won't be a Gemini'. Ok what? 😂
I can image that the kid is just doing a normal 5yo stuffs and your friend is annoyed thinking that it’s Gemini behavior lol
Totally. She misbehaves and oversteps boundaries sometimes but that's also totally normal behaviour although annoying for the grown ups.
There is a whole episode of the Orville (like Star Trek) called The Whole World is A Birthday Cake where on that planet all people born in a certain astrological sign are inherently evil and basically kept in slave work camps. It’s crazy & they too have a lot of c sections to prevent babies from being born as the bad Astrological sign
Oh I need to watch that!
"don't eat such hot soup! You'll burn the baby!"
---man who literally didn't know there are different organs in the body
I had an absolutely awful day. Thank you for making this post lol people’s stupidity is at least making me laugh now
With the whole non sense about the gender of the baby disappointment
Like why would u get disappointed if ur in laws or sister or cousin of a friend is having all boys or girls!!!! Or like why would u feel even sad for them !!!!!!! Like oh poor them!!! What?
Ideally I’d love at least one of each gender because it’d be fun to experience both…but I’ll just be happy to have (hopefully) healthy kiddos. I can always spoil my nieces/nephews if I end up with all of one gender and I feel like I’m missing out.
I know not everybody feels that way, but I feel bad for the kiddos who are the “unwanted” gender. Initial disappointment is one thing…it’s the people who continue to be pissed about it long after that shock me.
Sure like ur own disre is different..I am talking about other people feeling so bad for u as u mentioned for long time ..like wow u could make this energy into something beneficial for ur future instead.
Wish u all the best if u want babies 👶 💗 💕 💓
Well, neither my nor my husband's siblings will have kids (only one even wants to and he has been single forever) and my friends are childfree, too. It's unclear if I'll be able to have a second child. So yes, I'll probably be missing out on how it is to raise a girl and I find that a bit sad. Has nothing to do with being disappointe about my boy, though. I'll also be a little bit sad about him not experiencing relatives of his age, too. That's just how it is.
I was mainly disappointed bc it meant I’d have to buy a bunch of new clothes lol
That’s actually incredibly fair to be disappointed about!
Missing out on what? Buying dresses? It seems weird to me honestly to be attached to these ideas of activities that are so minor in the scheme of things. I have two sisters and neither were interested in dolls, as an older sister that briefly disappointed me. I now have a son and he's not into cars or super heroes or running around hitting things as people insisted all boys would be. Pinning your fantasies of making memories on gender is just missing the much more interesting reality of who they are. Why do you need to "spoil" a certain gender?
Sometimes we get posts like "I wanted a girl because my mom sucked and I saw this as my chance to break the cycle" and while I don't think these people are stupid, I DO think they need to unpack the underlying belief that their mom would've treated them any better if only they'd been born a boy.
i don't think it's an underlying belief that their mom would've treated them better as a boy lol?? at least for majority of people who say that, it makes no sense. id love a chance at having a daughter one day so I can raise her how I wish I was raised, and give her the mother/daughter bond I missed out on. I don't think I would've been treated better as a boy, my brother also got the same treatment I did lol. it just feels more personal because boys and girls have different experiences and different relationships with their parents
Yeah for sure. I think before I had my son and before I got the nipt results I was kinda hoping it was a girl. But when they said boy instead it was like I traded an imaginary, hypothetical girl for a real boy and every day with him he has been so wonderfully himself and not like some gendered mini me of myself or my partner, that thinking about girls or boys seems so uninteresting. I'm now pregnant again and I have honestly no desire for a girl or boy - whatever it is it'll be a very different person and that's just exciting
Some society and family really ruined their girls life just cuz "wish u were a boy" and when they start having thier own family its more of a natural reflex to have the need to build that missing piece for them also for the future society. But yes they need to do more inner work cuz it will get to the point where its more about them not thier family and it might not even break the cycle ..
Its more about girl life vs boy life wven it was like tomboyish girl or very calm boy still different in a way or at least will have different lifestyle when growing up too .. i have an aunt who boys and she says I think my day will be different if I have a girl who I can go out with as girls shopping etc ... but again as u said u cant pinn that idea in ur head cuz it might even ruin ur current blessing baby
U have them for a reason enjoy the moment
Even that one - I know quite a few boys who wear dresses and love them! If the child wants a dress, they'll have a dress. I have no idea of their gender identity, anyway!
The overwhelming majority of people have a cisgender identity so it's not like we have no idea.
Liking dresses or different toys is irrelevant to your gender identity - it's only if people believe pink is only for girls that they are connected. I'm open to my son doing whatever he likes and wouldn't dream of telling him he shouldn't do something or other as a boy, and if he decides he doesn't identify as a boy that's fine too. I sincerely hope my son is so much more comfortable in his identity than my generation, so he can feel like stereotypes and clothes and hobbies are all open to him, whether he feels masculine or not.
I know cis boys like dresses as well, for sure! And I'm not planning to, like, avoid gendered pronouns until puberty or whatever (don't know the sex so can't yet use them right now, obviously!) But I do feel that staying open to whatever gender expression my child will choose/identify with is important. Trans and non-binary people exist and honestly aren't that rare and I'd hate to inadvertently make my child feel "wrong" if they happen to be one of them!
And yes, if they are cis, I also really hope they feel like everything's open to them and I'm definitely planning to raise them that way as much as humanly possible.
(Quick Google search tells me that around 5% of people under 30 identify as trans or NB - so yeah, certainly not the most likely thing to happen but not something I'd like to ignore, either!)
Oh yeah for sure, I agree. It's something I think about with my son, I want to make sure he's got all the opportunities to express himself authentically whatever way he feels. He's not a stereotypical boy child so he's calm and sweet and I find it annoying when other mums are like "oh boys... My house is trashed!" And what they describe as girl behaviour is what my guy is like. It's so interesting to discover who our children are!
I have 4 girls. My brothers love it because they genuinely believe the universe is giving me all the girls so they can have all boys. Imma fucking lose it if they also have all girls. Lol
😆 I get u . I have 2 girls and my sister have 2 boys and she always mention how boys fight and play is way more crazy than girls ..so I here not allowed to complain lol 😆 but I think she forget how girls can also be ..
My 5 and 6 year old are absolute terrors with each other. They rough house often and it turns into actual fist fights. I feel like the referee to their WWE matches lol
😆 but u know what that's means u r making it a Home. If kids are kids that's a win here Mom Wish u all the best with ur next WWE match
Whenever I see posts about gender disappointment, especially from the expecting parent(s), it’s tough to empathize. Crying over your future baby not being the “model” you wanted..I don’t get it.
I can get the parent side in term of what they wish for etc but also yes u need to get over it soon what do u mean u gotta resent ur baby! But specially other ppl about ur baby like what! U have this much free time ?
I completely agree, but that is not a popular opinion on reddit, as I found out! I can't wrap my head around it at all.
Literally all the Indian aunties(mom and mil) that have their old ass views on things. I can yell at my mom but I told my husband to talk to his mom.
I’m “not allowed” to bend down, jump, put dishes in the dishwasher, etc.
I understand! I’m South Asian myself and have heard my fair share of these stories but to be fair, any excuse to not put dishes in the dishwasher and have someone else do it for me sounds like a win.
As a fellow South Asian it’s ridiculous. My mom keeps telling me not to eat certain things because they’re too “hot” or “cold” for the baby. When it’s all nonsense. I feel your pain.
Hahaha, I married into a central Asian family, and all of this talk of "hot foods" has been a learning curve for me.
Jumping is actually advised against, iirc.
This reminds me of when I got banned from r/babybumps for saying that consuming cannabis while pregnant is a stupid and selfish thing to do.
This!!! I can’t believe people normalise consuming cannabis during pregnancy
Yeah the mod said I was being intolerant and rude. I was shocked.
"Don't hold your baby too much, you need to put them on a hard surface or their bones won't strengthen.' Old folk'wisdom' at its finest.
The amount of people asking Reddit/instagram to reassure their opinion that is contrary to their PCP. I’m all for listening to your gut feeling and getting a second opinion and asking others experiences. But ultimately please trust your medical providers over strangers online.
There have been a few posts on here where a few people share medical advice they got from their doctor and people jump on that and say they are wrong. I don’t think anyone should listen to anyone but their doctors since every person has different circumstances. I have seen a lot of misinformation being passed off online that A LOT of people seem to take as fact and any contradiction is dismissed.
I mean, to be fair, I've heard a lot of bullshit from medical personnel! From pharmacists refusing to sell you perfectly safe meds to PCPs telling you to go cold turkey on SSRIs to OB-Gyns telling that old tale that any activity that raises your pulse over 140 is dangerous for babies...
But yeah, the answer is definitely not "ask random redditors" but "look up reputable sources on the actual evidence-based recommendations". But yeah, I'll always rather go for an authority like the CDC or the official Swiss safety guidelines rather than the lone opinion of a PCP who may or may not be up to date on research. (The number of people I've heard say that their PCP told them a glass of wine or two are fine is... pretty shocking and very contrary to any guidelines I'm aware of, for instance!)
Ugh, whenever I picked up my new (safer for pregnancy) anti-depressant from the pharmacy, the pharmacist was like, "does your doctor know you're pregnant? Is your doctor comfortable with you taking this while you are pregnant?"
And he kept it up even after I assured him, yes, my doctor(s) know that I am taking this medication while I am pregnant. Yes, it is safer than the anti-depressant I was taking before. In fact, my OB AND my psychiatrist AND the MFM specialist ALL discussed the issue and we ALL decided that I should transition to this medication, and how to do so.
And he kept it after the baby was born and I was breastfeeding. After awhile, I just lied and told I had stopped breastfeeding.
Yess. There was a post a few days ago like this. The OP wanted opinions besides those from her OB. A few comments were in contrast to most of them, and the responses were like, "OP is already feeling judged, no need to respond this way" like what?!? So we can't tell someone when they are actively harming their baby? Ok.
My doctor says “XYZ”, let me find out what strangers online think instead!
All of the people who have assumed I am devastated that I’m having a boy. It makes me really really angry for him.
The stupidest thing discussed in my hometown recently was a post my friend made asking how to get the Covid 19 vax for her 4 year old. There were over 300 comments and 90% of them were attacking her for that decision. They told her she should loose custody of her daughter over it. Absolute insanity
Sorta on topic but I keep seeing people wanting to get their son circumcised but refuse vitamin k.
Ewww
What's the correlation between circumcision and vitamin k?
Vitamin K helps babies to be able to clot blood. It is given at birth to prevent brain bleeds because babies don’t make enough on their own yet. If you want a circumcision for your baby it is imperative that you get it for him so he doesn’t bleed out.
Ooh, good to know! I'm 10 weeks pregnant with my first child. Don't know the gender yet. I am Muslim, so circumcision is required for boys. I don't reject anything for my child's health, including vitamins and vaccines.
I appreciate you explaining 😊
Of course. A lot of people don’t know. Good luck with the baby! Our son is circumcised and it was a breeze. He didn’t even cry. Healing was quick and easy.
You will be an excellent parent 🥰
Antivaxxers in general.
Oh, and the "free birth"/"wild pregnancy" subcultures (who I'm certain are all antivaxxers too.) I don't want to pick on the moms who have already lost children to their disinformation, but
... actually, I'm gonna end that sentence there.
I sent my husband an article about the Free birth society. He cried and took a walk. Then he came back and told me to never bring up free birthing again. I had to stop reading it halfway through. I had to assure him that I felt (having grown up in poverty) that medical care is a privilege and have no intention of forsaking that privilege because sometimes modern medicine is wrong and cruel.
Kudos to anyone who can do it but I wouldn't be alive right now without modern medicine 🤷
I read that The Guardian article to some point but I just had to quit because I was feeling physically ill. The last article before that making me ill was that Gaiman article, but even that I wad able to finish.
I started reading the Guardian article a month ago and I'm still not able to finish it.
It's an actual horror story. It's literal True Crime.
I can agree even before finishing. I would never get the photo of the first kid in the article out of my head.
Oh God that story alone evokes so much rage from me. "Lopez sprang into action, instinctively performing CPR on her son as her friend Googled how to do it, while another dialled 911" you're going to fucking tell me that not a single person in the room even had a CPR card but you're all qualified to deliver a child? Get the hell out of here. WE CAN SAVE HIM! QUICKLY! GOOGLE "CPR"!
Yeah we need to be calling antivaxxers morons at this point. People have tried reasoning with them, they’re just dangerous idiots.
Someone in another post saying they arent getting tdap or rsv vaccine while pregnant.
Or ppl who think their google or social media knowledge is more correct than a physician who went to 4 years of medical school and 4 years of ob residency.
Getting told so many times during my pregnancy how much weight I should be gaining from my in laws. Drove me up a wall. Telling me I was so big so my baby was going to be 10lbs, I was horrified.
I give you full support to tell them they’re being mean and insensitive. And that they should stop. Sometimes you gotta put your foot** down before it gets too much.
This is a bit of an unfortunate typo given the comment you’re replying to…
Whoops sorry I meant FOOT******
I really hope it’s a typo😅
Hahhaha sorry. I corrected it to foot.
People spears love to say “at least you’re not dealing with infertility” as if they know everything. I am currently having my rainbow baby after four years of infertility. Stop commenting on peoples journeys.
Yeah it’s crazy. Just tell them they’re stupid for that comment! I support you saying that to them! :)
One woman said she was 35 weeks pregnant with covid, asked for advice on what she could take for relief. One lady commented "ivermectin mama!" And 50 people liked it.
And yes of course this was a Facebook mom group lol
To this day, it’s the woman in my town who decided to have a VBA4C in her bathtub
Terrifying! I hope she and baby were okay.
They were, gratefully. But then she got a big head and a god complex and spends her days trying to tell every mom in the world to say no to c sections
That they could predict the gender based on how my body looks, especially in the first trimester when my body looked...bloated.
You've gained weight. A human grows inside me and I have gained weight because of that. You don't say? 😂😂😂
So, your pants don't fit anymore. - my mother. Yes my flat belly pants don't fit my not-so-flat belly anymore. Shocking.
The baby wants x that's why you are eating it. Lol ok sure yeah.
That due date = the date the baby will be born for sure.
not gonna say who, but someone in my life told me there was aborted babies in some vaccines, and that she recommended waiting 2 years to get the vaccines. first of all, i dont think anybody would allow dead human cells anywhere near medicine, or food, or would even think of such a thing. the baby would have to be dead because they dont last long outside the womb, especially not during the weeks most people have abortions. second, even if that was true somehow, what would waiting 2 years do?
This is a common misconception due to a certain line of cells being used in the lab to incubate viruses for vaccines. The cells originated from an aborted fetus long ago but current cells used are more like the “great great (x1000) grand cells” of the actual tissue that was used. And again, they’re only used in the lab to grow the virus for production. They’re purified out for the manufacturing process of the vaccine itself.
That’s not to say I don’t understand or empathize with the ethical concern for those with strong anti-abortion views, but that doesn’t mean “they’re mixing aborted fetuses in our vaccines!” 😅
(Also! This only applies to the few vaccines that use cell cultures for live virus, not all vaccines - one of the benefits of the MRNA vaccines is that they don’t use them in the manufacture process at all unlike traditional live virus vaccines 😁)
this is in regards to myself giving birth soon and getting my child vaccinated
A few people on my husband’s side crashed out when I got a haircut. They were convinced the baby would be born blind bc of it
Wait, explain this one. Is this a cultural superstition?
I think so! They’re Mexican. Lots of strange ones but I had heard most of them before. The hair thing threw me for a loop though
Maybe not the most stupid but i get si angry when people tell me i can be done with babies since i have a girl and a boy. Like that is the goal.
Haha my friends and I laugh about this all the time! My friends that are one and done get soo many comments, and I get too many comments for wanting four! Apparently, two is the magic number for people these days- and I also have one girl and one boy (currently pregnant with my third), so they seem very confused why I could want another!
Four is the goal!
One of my sisters is a true inspiration, she had a boy and a girl in like two years, and then went ahead with six more boys. Never stop 😅
Haha my husband has friends like this! They are the most chill parents, and definitely an inspiration!
The stupidest sentiment I’ve heard this entire pregnancy is that one woman’s terrible experience must somehow mean that everyone else is gonna have the same thing happen to them, so they project onto others 🙄
On social media especially, I’m sick of seeing women give “warnings” or “tips” for pregnancy, only for it to be her trauma dumping about her insanely high risk and rare type of pregnancy. Like, I understand that you need to process it, but you’re not my OB/GYN or midwife, lady 😭 You’re ONE person speaking anecdotally 💀
When people say, “was it planned?” like it’s ANY of their business. I may respond to the next person [boomer] who asks this with an exhausting, unabridged explanation of how my partner and I charted my hormones through regular urine samples, which I would be happy to expand on from the archived documented data in my fertility apps. I can also disclose the day and position that most likely was the successful moment of planned conception.
My mother continues to say “well YOU didnt do x when you were a baby”, where x is have colic, have difficulty sleeping through the night, cry for whatever reason, etc. I mean great for her that apparently I was a perfect baby, but I feel like it’s setting her up for disappointment if my baby isn’t “perfect”. I just remind her that every baby is different and I want to be okay with whatever the circumstances are.
Also my MIL insinuating that if I painted my nursery, my baby would literally be born missing an arm. Like wow what a thing to say.
Is your MIL saying the paint fumes would hurt you / the baby?
Yes, even though I told her I was using high quality Benjamin Moore which is all low VOC.
I woulda asked her if she wanted to paint it instead. Just to see her reaction!
She has offered to paint it, but I told her that 1) I enjoy painting and 2) it’s a new moms right of passage to paint the nursery!
I think I explicitly told her like 4 times that I intended on painting the room myself. 🤦♀️
This is actually kinda funny and adorable but i was not having it lol. My husand’s lil nephew told my niece that he’s not happy because it’s a girl cousin (im having a girl) instead of a boy cousin. Mind you, he already had 2 other boy cousins and 1 girl cousin. I was like, boohoo, not your choice! He didnt understand that as a parents we cant choose the gender.
Being told 'oh I am really healthy now even though I'm not vaccinated being around your babies shouldn't be a risk' and my favorite from a nurse 'remember pregnancy isn't a disability!'
Seee!!! You shoulda told the nurse she’s stupid for that comment. Pregnancy can 100% be a disability for some women! Call them out! Call them out! Hahaha
Wanting to use a tens machine IN THE BATH during labour....
What did you say???
During my first pregnancy… someone had told me that pregnant women give the the best massages and they essentially become “healers” so they asked me to massage their brother 🙃
Lololol if only they knew “just a massage” is what got some of us into this mess in the first place. 🤪🤣
Well while it was also sweet, it was super dumb and often times annoying.
My grandma partly raised me and she is veeeeeery old fashioned and from the silent generation, herself raised by her step-grandma. So, she got a double dose of old fashion beliefs and manners.
She insisted that nobody could talk about or tell me anything that was vile or even close to being vile as it could make me faint and harm the baby… She also believed that I couldn’t eat tomatoes because I’m B+ and any food older than a day in the fridge was dangerious. She had no problem with haggis, raw salmon, raw eggs or any amount of tuna though 😂 This wouldn’t have affected me in normal situations but since my mom became homeless she lives with grandma and so I visit there a lot to help and just spend time with family. Mom calls her outright on every occassion it feels like I’m in a sitcom sometimes.
She is very sweet but stupidly set in her ways and beliefs.
I've either had people telling me I shouldn't be helping to move furniture or carry so much, or people telling me to relax and take a day or two off labour prep exercises. Why does anyone else get to decide how much importance I put on activity and prep?
Unsolicited advice is annoying and can be stupid but we aren’t supposed to do heavy lifting towards the end of pregnancy. So I guess this depends on how it’s said and who its said by.
But heavy by who's standards? Pre pregnancy I would deadlift 100kg, I've backed off to a weight that feels comfortable to me without my form near failure. Someone else's heavy could be quite easy for other people. I am listening to what my body feels capable of and feel I'm the best person to be able to make that decision.
I think not lifting heavy is general advice because the general population cannot deadlift 100kgs. That’s seriously impressive! Also I am not sure what health professionals consider heavy lifting especially for people who regularly deadlift 100kgs which is why I think who said it to you matters.
not me, but my friend. she's a paramedic and was on light duties restocking ambulances before her baby was born. some weird guy she works with told her she shouldn’t be around car emissions and she should be doing a job around cedar trees because it’s good for her immune system 😐 people have left me alone lol, I have no unhinged things being said to me, my husband and I would just make fun of them if they did 🤷♀️
“IVF babies are not real babies” SAY WHAT??????
Edit: comically enough, the person who said that is going through ivf treatment
?????
Context: I’ve been TTC for some years before moving to ivf when she said “ivf babies are not real babies” of course I don’t believe that and continue my journey. FF to some weeks ago, she’s been TTC for some years and now they are moving to ivf (very happy for them that they can get their baby)
I had horrible nausea 24/7 in my first trimester. I lost 25 lbs because I couldn't eat. Multiple people told me to have a glass of wine each night to relieve my first trimester nausea. No thanks.