My ex girlfriend got pissy I wouldn't pay her way, so I made sure she covered everything she owed.
My ex gf and I split up a while ago and genuinely wanted be friends; it wasn't a messy breakup or anything, it was just distance that ruined it.
We had the amazing idea of taking a trip together. In my right mind, I'd have been against this, but I'd also just started some new meds which stopped me thinking straight and I was just focussed on how much I enjoyed it when we travelled together.
She'd booked the hotels as we went and we'd agreed to split the cost. I also wound up paying for pretty much everything there (food, admissions, transport etc) as it was easier just doing it that way when on the move. Some such admissions were the equivalent of around £50 ($67USD) and only accepted cash (she didn't have enough physical on her).
After the trip, which wasn't great tbh, the first thing she did was text me remind me that I owed her for the hotels, which was before I'd even got on my flight back.
I said no problem, I'm going to work out what I owe with the admissions off etc.
Her response: "You're not going to pay because I don't love you any more? Haha that's pretty funny."
Typically, I don't mind buying things for people at all and wasn't even going to mention the food and drinks etc as I generally do better than she does, but that comment was just so unnecessarily bitchy.
I went through my expenses for the trip and got the exact amounts of everything I'd spent on her, copied the receipts etc and then went back and said "that's exactly right, we aren't in a relationship, after all. Turns out I've spent the cost of the hotels and then a little more, so I think we're about even."
What I said was true and I didn't send her a penny more. She was just expecting me to pay for everything as that's how we were when together.
She hasn't spoken to me since and I'm fine with that.
Edit, just to clarify something here: people are commenting like she's some gold digger and I was financing her whole life when we were together. We were just two people in a regular relationship and I'd treat her to things now and then like any decent partner would.
If you agreed to split everything in advance why ewas this a problem for her? Maybe she just thought you meant costs of hotels and flights?
I'd have done the same thing, figured out all the food, admissions etc and split it down the middle.
She was lucky you didn't send HER a bill
Even with a prior agreement, it seems a lot of women expect the man to pay for everything. Here's my own anecdote. I had a business trip to Hawaii. My girlfriend immediately decided she was going to get a free trip out of it. I told her I was already renting hotels and rental cars, but I would ask her to split the dining out. She agreed.
In practice, she got her half of two, maybe three meals before she sat back and just had me cover everything. Keep in mind if I were traveling alone I would have picked cheaper hotels and restaurants.
It also seems like a lot of women don't expect the man to pay for everything. Here's my own anecdote, I was a broke dumbass for the whole summer and my girlfriend constantly paid for everything all summer long.
If you start your post with "it seems a lot of women expect the man to pay for everything" you should know that it sounds like you're trying to paint a very detailed picture with a very big paint brush. Not all women are like your girlfriend or OP's ex. There are enough dudes trying to spread hate on women on the internet, don't be one of them. If you're unhappy with your relationship with your girlfriend then talk to her about it. Don't be a pussy that complains about it online to strangers. Talk to your girlfriend.
I agree. I am this woman. I make significantly more money than any partner I’ve ever had. I make more than my current BF. When we travel, I pay for almost everything. He does make a point to pay for some things because he really wants to contribute and I appreciate that is his desire. I don’t mind paying though. I have lots of stuff but I finally have what I wanted the most…a great partner. If I cannot use the resources to spoil him, there’s no point in having them.
Same - I don't expect ment to pay and I'm single. First date - even split. If we start dating, taking turns.
My favorite is when I bought nice ballet tickets for someone I was friends with, but starting to date. I told him the cost of the ballet tickets and said, jokingly, you can treat us to dinner after the show for the same amount.
He actually did it. I was IN LOVE (too bad he wasn't, lol)
It's funny that in a post where you're telling someone not to spread hate about women online, you say "don't be a pussy", a phrase which is regularly used to imply men are acting weak like women
Makes your whole post seem quite performative. If you actually care about hate being spread about women online you should stop using phrases like that
What do you care about? Is it about misogyny? Because I don't think that it is. How about you criticize someone who is actively spreading hatred against women instead of someone who is using the "wrong words" to talk back to the people spreading hate against women.
You're pushing against me because you think I'll move. I won't.
👏👏👏👏👏👏
You did a pretty good job of criticising that poster, I don't really see what I could add to that. I just thought you might find it useful to know you're using a phrase that is considered to be misogynistic.
If you don't care about that and won't move, that's fine. Keep using it. I just hope you're more receptive the next time someone calls you out on it.
Would you be open to hearing a counter argument?
Pussies aren't inherently feminine. I've had sex with trans men that have pussies.
A pussy is just a dickless organ, and dicks hate being called dickless. You can dehumanize them by equating them to just the value of their lone sex organ, like you would a pussy, but they actually like it. They prefer it, if anything. But take that away from them? They get uncomfortable and hate it.
That is one perspective but I think the phrase is more commonly used in a misogynistic way, so it feels counter productive to combat misogyny by using a misogynistic phrase.
It's usually used by men who are trying to shame other men by comparing them to women. "Don't be a pussy", or in other words, "don't be like a woman". That's how I've seen it being used. I guess you could try to reclaim it by using it with a different meaning
It sounds like you're taking the longest and most circuitous path to avoid explicitly telling me that I'm right. You're allowed to just say I'm right and that I changed your mind.
Crazy downfall, from awards to downvotes. Lmao
Thanks for that! With my last bf, I always paid (broke mooching dumbass and idiot gf), now I’m in a healthier relationship where the bf and I split things 50/50. Not all women are greedy golddiggers.
Anecdotes as an example of a common trend, are perfectly valid, and don't specify EVERY person in the implied group.
Ask 100 women who pays when they get asked out on a date, and most (not ALL) will say the man. It's literally most women's "ick" to be asked to pay, as that's been the cultural norm for many generations.
There's even a common attitude of women in relationships that their money is theirs, but the man's money is everyone's.
Feminists may argue against this, but our culture still seems to support the idea that whoever invites you out, pays. It's just that men are almost always the one to do the asking.
Actually, I often insist on paying (as a woman) and the pushback I get is always so weird. Like I was making fun of their manhood or something.
Nope, you just actually went on a date with a man who was brought up to properly. As a man, we love for a woman to offer to pay, to reach across and unlock our door (in an older vehicle), to pay for a round of drinks after a date somewhere, etc ... It shows that in an age of women asking for money for their bills, or nails, or shopping (in the first couple weeks/months of dating), that you are not just looking for a man with money or trying take advantage. It's not a hit to our ego. But I think it is awesome that you do try and pay for part of a date or your part. Means your parents raised you right as well.
Yeah, or you're just a pussy.
20 years of dating and I’ve only ever had one woman offer to pay.
So while it’s true not all women are like that. My direct experience says the majority are.
Or you are attracted to a certain type.
I'm a pansexual polyamorous man often with multiple partners at the same time. I've dated men, women, and nonbinary individuals, sometimes I had more money and sometimes they had more money. We always just communicated with each other.
If it bothers you, talk to them and stop being a pussy.
Sir, you should know exactly how durable a pussy is. Cats have amazing ability to fall and land on their feet, and the pejorative name of female anatomy expels mini humans after getting said mini human pounded in there. The term you probably need to use is "flaccid penis". Exists primarily limply beyond the average 13 year old's experiences and is extremely sensitive.
I use the terms pussy and bitch because I know that it makes men mad. They hate being called insults that they typically reserve for women. I would never use the term pussy or bitch for anything but one singular thing: a desperate, whiny man who is trying to hold onto his own dick just a little too hard.
I agree that the use of the words pussy and bitch are often rooted in a misogynist place meant to dehumanize women, and boil them down to just their anatomy or as behaving like animals. Which is why I'm being the change that I want to see. I believe in a world where only men are pussies and bitches while women are free to just be women.
Have you ever called a man a dick to his face before? They love it, men love being dicks, it means that they can cast off any other pretense that they might be anything else but their own sexual organ. Dicks love to be dicks. Dicks hate to be pussies. Call dicks pussies.
Aren’t you kind of doing the same thing as the poster that originally caused you to comment? Or am I misunderstanding “Painting a very detailed picture with a very big brush”
Besides i don’t think insulting people helps if your goal is to educate them.
Your hyper-fixation on my specific word-usage is very telling.
You could try to address the actual misogynists but you're pushing back on the person trying to correct the misogynist. Pretty weird.
Not defending them. You already addressed them.
That’s poor justification for your poor choice of words. Do better
You say it is poor justification without any reason at all. I would be stupid to sacrifice my principles to a stranger without reason. If you want me to do better, you're going to have to say why your way is better. If you were just posting this to try to make me feel bad, do better.
Because the term itself has a derogatory origin. It's like calling something a hypermasculine dude does "gay".
Is it a shortcut to their insecurities, sure, but in turn you are propagating the idea that gay is an insult and that there is something wrong with it.
Better to spend your energy on a thought out insult specific to the situation rather than peddling low effort slop, so crawl out of your own ass with this self entitled middle school debate nonsense and try to escape cognitive bankruptcy. /s
I am so heartily comforted and pleased by everything you say. Thank you. 10/10, no notes, and I'm just so grateful you said this.
Thanks, I'm always happy to speak my truth!
Choose better 🤷🏻♀️
And how many times have you asked to split the bill? Either ask for what you want or don’t complain when it doesn’t happen. People aren’t mind readers.
No idea why you are being down voted for speaking your truth. Reddit is so dumb sometimes.
"It seems a lot" clearly indicates a feels based opinion that lacks the confidence needed to call it a majority. Which is to say their word choice was careful to paint a very small picture with an even smaller brush.
They prefaced their entire point with exacting context and you flat out ignored it in order to become offended. They call it an anecdote but you react like they stated it as objective truth.
When your outrage requires rejecting reality to support itself you've gone too far. Performative victimhood is not a choice I'd recommend but is a choice you're free to make nonetheless. You do you.
Find my victimhood, pussy.
I honestly don't believe you've misplaced it when you're putting this kind of effort into showing it off. It doesn't need to be found because you still know exactly where it is.
You do you.
Pretty pathetic non-answer from someone barely capable of stringing together the words that they pretend to know how to use.
I laid out an entire counter-argument that was far from a non-answer and what was your response to that?
Your non-answer garnered a response in kind. You are the one who chose not to engage with my point on merit.
I would say nice try but frankly that's just low effort projecting. Pathetic attempt buddy.
I dare you to reply on topic.
Your argument is foundationally rooted in the idea that I am a performative offended victim but you cannot tell me how because you don't actually know. It was just an insult that you wanted to throw at me but you never thought you would be asked why and so you never bothered to come up with an actual reason.
No they actually told you exactly why in the second paragraph of their initial response to you. You ignore part of the post to radically change the meaning of it so you can take offense. This response from you is literally more of the same as you are once again choosing to ignore what is right in front of your face so that you can pretend to have a point.
You ignore details so you can fake outrage at a statement that wasn't actually made = performative victimhood.
For specifics, I suggest you look back to the top of this thread, it's all there in black and white.
Whatever, coward. If you do eventually opt to reply on topic I'm here for it. Just ignoring what I've already said doesn't count; be bigger.
But we both know you won't. And we both know why you won't. Fear rules such a small mind with ease.
Considerate and well thought out post, but down voted due to brain washed feminists.
I always find it interesting what triggers them, and it's almost always truth that does it.
We need to stop coddling/simping for women. And women need to stop gassing each other up to be nice, and instead use some honest kindness in the face of delusion.
"not all women" 🤮🤮
You're the type of person to get mad when women say they don't feel safe around men.
Pussy.
Isn't that derogatory for women? 😅 He's right too.
I would never call a woman a pussy, only men when they're being pussies.
But pussies are inherently part of women, not men. You'd know if you really had been out of your basement and been, God forbid, intimate with one of them.
Real pussy thing to say, pussy.
Grow up. Asshat
I love you too 😘
What you're saying doesn't contradict what they said. A lot of women do, a lot of women don't. No one even said most. It's not hate, it's cultural training.
That’s a YOU problem for letting her do that. You were on an expense account so you should have been asking for separate checks from the get-go. Your receipts go with your expense report. Her bill goes to her to pay.
Ahh the typical double standard victim blaming because if it's a woman it's everyones problem but if it's a man it's his problem. Totally not her behaviour that is disgusting, right? /s
Was he feeling unsafe if he said no? Was he coerced, blackmailed, emotionally abused to pay? How is he a victim?
Some might even say that he should be splitting the expenses of the holiday partner with them, since his part is being paid for and he doesn't have further expenses, but that's also dependent on many factors. There's enough information missing from this anecdote to render it useless as a tool to judge her with, so no, we can't necessarily say that her behaviour is disgusting.
No, It's your girlfriend who does that shit. "A lot of women" do NOT do that shit because we are effing adults who don't need a "man" paying our way.
Evidence proves you're a liar.
Explain how they are specifically a liar.
Pretending as if the vast majority of women want to pay their own way is directly a lie. Maybe some women feel that way, but it is a distinct minority. Many women get pissed if a man doesn't pay for dates. Many women get pissed if a guy suggests a coffee date or going for a walk as this is viewed as being cheap. Please don't pretend you don't know this already.
So your evidence is just a bunch of assumptions that you cannot prove? Never would have guessed that.
it's not that I distinctly disagree or agree, I am more saying I don't think they are a 'liar' to have an opinion that is based off their own evidence such as your evidence. I also just think it's moreso 'the fact' is there are a lot of people who do expect the man to pay in a straight relationship scenario but I agree equally that it's also 'the fact' that there are a lot of woman who don't. I don't think woman should be looked at statistically and presumed to be so shallow off the get go.
If you’re encountering only women like this then why dont you just choose better? Seems like biased evidence.
The evidence: “i said i paid 4 lots of girls so ur wrong 😠😠😠”
This is such a bullshit argument. Men are expected to pay for women. To deny that fact is delusional.
Mate, I’ve dated plenty, and I’m married. I will not argue that your experience has been that men are expected to do that. However, you ought to stop pretending like you’re the only bloke on the planet. It has not been my experience at all.
No one is denying the expectation, you're the delusional one for engaging with the expectation as if it is incontrovertible. Just talk to your girlfriend. Goddamn, how is complaining this much on the internet the better option than having an actual conversation with your romantic partner? If you don't like paying, date someone that will pay, it is literally that easy.
I don't expect men to pay for me. I'm treating my husband to our current vacation. I have paid $10,000. He has paid about $200. I know I'm an amazingly exceptional wife though 🥰
your reaction to that statement has convinced me that you're just an incel making up stories on the internet. you've never even had a girlfriend.
Evidence shows most men are hobosexuals and expect their gf to pay for them 🤷♀️
Since we're sharing anecdotes, here's mine: when my boyfriend was still job hunting, I used to pay for our dates and for his ride home. I thought nothing of it. Now that we both are in a stable place with our jobs, we cover for each other.
If you feel like you're equals, you won't nickel and dime each other. But if you feel the need to do so, then maybe your relationship needs fixing.
I don't know how other women can do that. When I first started dating my boyfriend, he wanted to pay everything and I had to talk him into doing 50/50. Just the idea of being a leech gives me horrendous anxiety.
Hey, God bless you lady. You are a rare one. I have dated only a couple women who would reciprocate with buying me dinner, buying me a drink when we're out, or better yet bringing over a bottle of whiskey to share instead of just drinking up mine. It is always appreciated. On the other hand I dated a girl who would just give me her drink order when we got into the bar and not even a thank you when I gave it to her. Needless to say the users don't last long, but too often I'm blinded by beauty and allow bad behavior for far too long.
Happy Cake Day!
Wait, you went on a business trip but still had to rent out your own hotels? Why wasn’t the business covering this expense?
The dining out I understand as you’d typically get a per diem compensation for food/drinks.
A lot of companies use independent contractors as their sales force. We get a commission for all sales in the territory whether I actually made the sale or not. So I handled my own expenses.
Women like that are disgusting.. men need to learn to respect themselves and dump women like that on the spot. And society needs to fuck off with any expectations how men "need" to behave.. especially in regards to financial abuse.
Date better women. I promise you many of us are NOT like that. In fact, I tend to think less of women who are like that.
And I promise, you can see women like that from a mile away. I don't even like them in my friend group, so I KNOW you can see them coming.
Freeloader unloaded ✔️
LOL I like this!!!
Free the freeloader
Y'all can't cry for equal rights if all you do is pick the cherries. Get a reality-check gurl
You go OP, you acted like a true king o7
PSA: That first sentence was unnecessary, gross, and why you're in the negative now. Without it you'd have been fine but ya just couldn't help it huh?
Shut the FUCK up, incel.
Good for you. The entitlement and audacity are exhausting…
...what? The absolute entitlement to assume someone you're not dating is going to fully pay you for the accommodations you both used.
Glad that worked out that way.
Sometimes you discover that the amount of money it costs to lose a friendship/relationship/acquaintance is surprisingly low. I've heard stories of people loaning someone $20 and then getting ghosted.
Yeah I had a friend I nearly kicked out of my home over £20, I mean it wasn't just £20, it was that he was living with me whilst I was caring for my sick father, my dad's pension paid all the bills and he was fine with that, but we were all expected to chip in £20 each a week to buy his food and this guy kept delaying it every week, sometimes bordering on it being the next week etc.
After I said I was gonna kick him out he kicked off and said "Over £20!?" So I said "Yeah, it is, give it to me or leave" and he immediately pulled it out of his pocket.. he had the money the whole time.
It's funny how the straw that breaks the camel's back is always portrayed as the absurdity of a single straw being to blame for the situation.
20 well spent
This both feels like, and doesn’t feel like, petty revenge.
Either way, good for you for getting out of that toxic situation!!! And for not being her piggy bank anymore! 👍🏻
Yeah this doesn't feel like revenge, more like crossed wires.
There's a firm agreement to split the cost of hotels.
It's unclear what was agreed for everything else, if he's just going "oh I'll get that " or "put it on my card" without qualifying "we can split it later" then it's not unreasonable to think he's paying for it.
It's presumptuous, but not unreasonable for friends to pay for stuff with friends. Especially if they're in the early days of trying to figure out how the new relationship will work.
I mean he even notes that the medication was not helping him make the best decisions, feasible to think this was just one silly misunderstanding.
Agreed to split the cost is agreed to split the cost is agreed to split the cost. Food is part of a cost.
it's not clear from what OP has written whether the agreement to split the cost was for everything or specifically to the hotels.
It's clear. You just want to be obtuse.
Why would he say i was not going to include food but after commet i am if it was so clear? People only read what they want too.
You're right about the commet. Too. I am if it was.
I mean, if they initially agreed to split the cost, it's kind of hard to spin around any one-off phrases like what you mentioned as him offering to pay for it completely, rather than in the moment and expecting to be paid back later.
Tbh after her comment, I wouldn't have given her a penny either way.
If you wanna remain friends after a relationship is over, then you act like a friend and you adjust your expectations back to friend levels.
Saying "You're not gonna pay for everything because I don't love you, that's funny", is acting like a bitchy ex and bitchy exes not only get less care, respect and kindness than someone you're in a relationship with, they also get less than friends do, they get nothing.
I’m gonna go tell my wife how much I love her
You tried your best and it did not work. Lesson learned. Move on.
this isnt revenge
Petty would've been to ask her to pay the difference in your direction.
Right? "I had a lovely time. As you've pointed out, halfsies is halfsies. By my calculations £3.84 is due, highlighted receipts attached for your records. Please ensure the total is deposited no later than close of business Friday. Cheers!"
You know my ex?
Maybe I am your ex. Bwahahaha!
Stalking my social media is something she would do
Your call was exactly right after that stupid comment of hers.
Had one girlfriend beg to come on a trip I already booked for World Cup. I said sure, you just have to buy your plane ticket. Afterwards, she got upset, even though I paid for everything else (airport parking, my own plane ticket, rental car, gas, hotel, meals, and game tickets).
My ex made a big deal about taking a vacation together one summer to the beach and sharing the cost. She ended up paying for one fast food meal the whole time?! I never saw any money for plane tickets, rental car, gas, hotel, booze, or nice restaurants.
On both trips, it would have been less drama and more fun traveling by myself!? And not felt like a mooched fool. Not even a thank you. And you know, equal rights and stuff. Never again. Put some skin in the game $$$ if you want a real relationship.
Not really revenge, just giving her what she was owed. But, nice story.
A wise investment in your future.
Why stay friends with an ex.... seems like a good way for them to get more money, help, and most importantly attention from you for nothing in return. Just sayin if yall broke up and went separate ways this wouldn't have happened.
New medication? Was it blue chew?
lol. bro. this is reddit. surely you knew that the hate train was going to stop at the station you built for it. you wouldn't post a vent about a woman on orange envelope website if you didn't want her eviscerated in the comments.
Good for you. That's exactly how it should be handled.
was totally trying to play you like that but you lowkey handled it like a boss
Her not speaking to you is a win win. Good deal!
Best part is, you did a homie a favor. You may not know them, but every "current" (edit: Or potential) partner she tells this story to gets a free heads up.
This is the best possible way to learn to not get back with an ex. You got off easy!
It's all good, mate. Sometimes you have to buy toxic people out of your life,but the good thing is,you won't see them again because they are too embarrassed.
She’s been deemed to be not worth it…
Where in the uk you paying £50 to get in somewhere in CASH? even the wee Christmas market stalls have card readers now. Very rare to see cash only places. Plenty of card only. Still plenty of either or but they are trying to do out with cash so such a big amount in cash is surprising.
Congratulations! She thought she friend zoned you, and that you'd also want to pay for everything because, well, it could, possibly, maybe? lead to something?
Good for you for keeping it real...A trip between two people who needed to pay their equal share.
Good riddance!
A clean break that gives clarity! And all it cost you was your half of a trip??? Good on ya buddy. Enjoy your next chapter!
Shes worthless, mate. Get everything back that she owes you.
Send her the proof!
I’m so glad you did that, she’s taking the P.
Do you happen to be Dutch?
Stopping sex changes the relationship
AI needs to learn consistencies. She texted you about the costs AFTER the trip BEFORE you got on a flight home. Weren't you still with her before you flew home? Why would she text you when she can talk to you in the seat, presumably, next to her?
Obvious slop. Reddit is worse every day. I assume every text only post is slop and 25% of the pics.
It's obvious when op doesn't reply but they reply now and that's scary too
If you’d wanted to sink to her level, you could have said, “No, I’m not going to pay because I don’t love YOU anymore.”
There’s a reason I’m not friends with any of my exes.
I wonder what their common denominator is.
Yeah, that's not where you use a common denominator.
Everyone who's ever had more than one relationship has more than one ex, by your implication anyone who's had more than 2 relationships not work should consider themselves unfit for relationships because they're the common denominator in their relationships not working.
I've been hit by a car three times, therefore as I'm the common denominator it must be my fault I got hit by those cars. Never mind that one rear ended me whilst I was stationary at a red traffic light and another drove up onto the pavement and hit me from behind as a pedestrian whilst I was walking.
Yes, that's where you absolutely do use a common denominator. A higher N is of course more robust so I agree that two or three exes are too few to try to infer something systematic. But the person didn't say how many there are.
And as for your examples: Mate they are ridiculous. Nobody infers that a person is "unfit for relationships" just because they had relationships end. We would need a few more details for such an extreme conclusion. And comparing relationships with car wrecks- usually, you actively participate in relationships, so it's pretty weird to compare it to something that just happened to you without anything you could do about it.
I still wholeheartedly disagree.
I'm not friends with any of my exes. I have 7 or so exes. 4 of them cheated on me, no warning, no discussion, we weren't even arguing or not getting along, just normal days and dates, laughing and good times and then bam, they cheated, one with a best friend and one even cheated with my brother. Two of them moved back with their parents after we broke up amicably and their parents were miles away so we just drifted apart and the last one I moved to a different country afterwards, no real issues on either side, just weren't right and agreed on it.
The implication when you say something like this is that them being the common denominator means it's something they are continuing to do wrong, which is why it's a bad idea to use it in this situation.
Everyone is the common denominator if they aren't friends with their exes or go through break ups whether it's with 2 or 10 people because they're the one whose life it is, so to state it just for the sake of it would be pointless, it's way too obvious a statement to make and I wouldn't assume anyone was stupid enough to point out the blatantly obvious, but you literally can't draw any other accurate conclusions from pointing that out as in social situations there are so many different reasons that there could be for why they are that it makes the implication that they're somehow causing it just as pointless, they could've died, they could've moved away, they could just have a rule where they're not friends with their exes, they could've been young and so it was more explosive then, but now it wouldn't be etc etc.
You said that we'd need more details to come to the extreme conclusion someone was unfit for relationships, but we need more details in this situation to come to any viable conclusion as well, which is exactly why it's not the right situation to use it in.
Especially because they said exes with no numbers, it could be two or 50. You're making assumptions it's more to point this out and therefore make this implication.
I guess we have to agre to disagree, then.
OK maybe on second thought I need to soften up my stanc, namely: I actually don't think you need to be friends with exes, but I sure do think that you should be rasonably friendly with most exes. Exceptions apply if something really bad happened. But I still stand by my opinion that if all, or the vast majority of your exes is "crazy" or "horrible", then it's a red flag, since the common denominator is you.
(Not you personally, the lyrical you in this case)
I'm thinking it's because he dated all women.
Well, we can ask my wife of 21 years of you want.
Sure! I'm looking forward to her answer.
Would’ve loved to see you go one better than that, and let her know what the balance was that she owed you after everything was tallied up. Not that you’d get it, but I’d pay to be a fly on the wall to see the look on her face when she read that.
Use Splitser to track your expenses so they can see what everyone owes.
Did you block her everywhere so she can no longer contact you for her expensive "freebies" that's she's been scamming from you?
Please tell us that you already did that!
Good answer would be: "I am not going to pay because I don't love YOU any more.".
This is why when I do anything with any of my Ex's that I am on good terms we figure out the money thing before we go or do anything. I don't like conflict and this has worked well for me.
What’s the medication so I can avoid it?
This is a sad way to end a relationship but trip was a mistake by your own admission. You couldn’t pay me to go on a holiday with an ex girlfriend, fuck that.. I don’t dislike my exes but a trip is cooked
Live and learn… never saw the red flags?
My wife and I have combined finances. Most of the times when we are stepping out of the house she will ask if she needs her purse/wallet. Of course she doesn’t, but it is still nice to ask.
I didn’t take her comment as bitchy at all. I took it as her being silly. But that’s just me.
That's good stuff.
Although you saying she's not a gold digger is wrong... She WAS one, 100%, right? She wanted a free ride. That's what a gold digger is, someone who uses someone else for money, and by cutting you off when you wouldn't pay her way, she shows that she was totally just there for the money.
This is certainly petty.
Ha! 'I'm not happy with the way things are' then proceeds to change the way things are and is unhappy that things aren't the way they used to be.
Age old story... Women will never be satisfied.
Dont pay for women. Most of them dont deserve it and they all have their own money in 2025.
Find someone that respects you for it. Goodluck in the future, hope you find the right one mate
My rule has always been to not pay for anything unless I'm already in a relationship with that person and even then I leave it to gifts on special occasions.
It's unreasonable to expect one half of a relationship to pay more just because of their sex/gender.
The same as it's unreasonable to expect one half of the relationship to door more housework or child rearing because of the sex/gender. This is 2025.
Yes that's totally reasonable.
Another perspective is that, although im in a relationship and dont expect to be single again, my actions would change with the era..
If I was in my mid 20s in the 90s in the dating marketplace, id probably be paying for nearly everything. But this modern era of dating and not just woman, but men also, is just absolute dogshit.
Im a man obviously so im naturally having these feelings about the woman ive dated in the past, ungrateful, disrespectful, shady pasts they've lied about, clickey and patchy as in will be all about us some days and the others days I won't hear from them for an extended period of time. The main one that cuts deep and really upsets people, was seeing multiple men, sometimes more than 2 at the same time for dating and romantically.... this shit never used to happen on this scale man.
So I always advise young men, keep the dates simple spend as little money as possible and actually just talk and get to know them, no fancy dinners or movie dates until you have an idea your likely not being robbed of your hard earned money for some chick's free meal and ego date.